


It Starts With An Unexpected Conversation

by awriterstears



Category: Ballet RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, National Ballet of Canada, Panic Attacks, Rock The Rink, Thank You Canada Tour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:52:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 98,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awriterstears/pseuds/awriterstears
Summary: Just a timely look at current events and a couple who work together, and make their relationship work and excel at both.  I'm sure Guillaume has no presumption of knowing, or caring, about Scott and Tessa's relationship one way or the other.  It's my fictional account of how someone who respects and loves their partner has a take as an outsider of a respectful relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

A Conversation

It’s been a great day today for Scott and Tess. Teaming up with Guillaume Côté and his partner/wife Heather Ogden, Principal Dancers at the National Ballet of Canada has been phenomenal.

Learning from them is a dream come true for Tess, and certainly an honour for them both. Scott has never seen himself as a ballet dancer, but the sheer strength, grace and artistry that these dancers exude is amazing! And fit? He could never be that fit! He knows he was at his best for ice dance at the Olympics, thanks to all the help from B2ten, but he could never maintain the physique that Guillaume has, and he’s older than Scott. It would be enlightening to anyone to watch his ‘Lost in Motion” video. Phenomenal! 

 

Tessa and Heather are off getting something to drink and having a conversation during their break and Guillaume comes and sits by Scott and hands him a bottle of water.

“I was actually surprised to hear you were having another tour,” Guillaume says to him. “I thought after the last one you would be retired.”

Scott smiles, “You’re not the only one, but, we’re not “retired” just not competing now, but we always did have a loose plan to have another tour if the first was successful.”

“Sure,“ Guillaume says, “I just meant with the way the year ended I was surprised that Tessa would still want to be involved in one.”

“The way the year ended?” Scott says, “What do you mean?”

Guillaume realizes he’s made a faux pas and tries to smooth it over. “Oh, I just meant that the way you parted at the end of the year that it seemed your partnership had suffered.” “Obviously not.”

Scott sees where this is coming from and he feels a little ticked that everyone thinks they know all about their relationship.

“You know we’re not a couple right?” Scott says to him, “We’re not romantically involved.”

“No, no, I realized that,” Guillaume says, “I overstepped, it’s none of my business for sure, my apologies.” 

At that moment Heather and Tess walk back in and are ready to continue so the conversation is dropped, but Scott can’t stop thinking about it.

He manages to get through the rest of the day, and they’re able to learn so much, and they’re so nice, which makes it even more enjoyable!

Tess has a meeting to go to so Scott walks her to her ride and she turns to hug him goodbye and she finds him looking at her with a sad look on his face. 

“What’s up?” She says and gives his shoulder a little shake, “We just had a great day kiddo, why the sad face?”

“You know I love you, right T?” 

Tess drops her eyes from his and says, “Sure I do!” and she tugs down on the front of his jacket, “But I better get going before I miss my meeting!” She gives him a quick hug and she’s in the car before Scott can say anything else to her. He stands there watching as the car drives away, but she keeps her head turned away from him.

Scott thinks for a moment and then heads back to look for Guillaume. He finds him gathering his things together getting ready to leave. Scott approaches him and Guillaume smiles. 

“Back for more punishment?” he jokes. 

Scott smiles and tells him no…he’s certainly had enough for one day. “I imagine asking you to join me for a drink is out of the question?” Scott says, “With the way you train I can’t imagine that alcohol is high up on your list of treats.”

“Well, it isn’t, but I don’t deny myself the odd treat.” “I’m not adverse to having a good glass of wine if you’re up for it.” “And I know just the place!” “Better yet, we can walk and burn the calories off!” “But I warn you, I have expensive taste in wine,” he says and Scott laughs, but he thinks to himself that the price will likely be worth it. 

They settle into a corner booth which offers them some privacy and Guillaume is greeted like an old friend by all of the waiters and some of the patrons. A woman, who is obviously the owner approaches them and is immediately pulled into Guillaume’s arms. She smiles and pushes him away, “Such a flirt,” She says as she blushes.

Scott is introduced to her and she smiles and tells him to call her Anna, and says that of course she knows who he is!!! “All of Canada, and likely the World, know who Scott and Tessa are!” She says to Guillaume. “I’m a big fan! But where is Tessa?”

Scott tells her she had a meeting, but he will be sure to come back some time and introduce them. That earns him a big smile. “What shall I bring you to drink gentlemen,” she says.

“Well,” says Guillaume, “Scott is treating so…”

“Oh no,” Anna says, “He obviously doesn’t know your expensive taste in wine!”

“My treat!” She says, “And I will decide for you and you will be happy with it Monsieur Côté.”

And she sends the waiter off with her instructions and bids adieu to them both, with a reminder to Scott about his promise.

Scott isn’t a big wine drinker, but even he knows a good glass of wine when he tastes one. Both men settle in.

Guillaume knows that he hit a nerve with Scott earlier in the day and isn’t quite sure how this conversation is going to play out, so he doesn’t rush him and lets him take the lead.

“I’ve been thinking about what you alluded to earlier in our conversation about you not thinking that Tess would want to do another tour. What did you mean?”

“Well,” Guillaume says cautiously, “First let me preface this with the fact that none of this is any of my business.” “I feel bad that I have inferred that I know something about your life and partnership which I do not.”

“I’m not trying to put you on the spot, or make you uncomfortable,” Scott says, “But you had a point, or an impression, and I’d really like to know what it is.” 

“Well,” says Guillaume as he leans back and takes a sip of his wine, trying to make it last, “I did see your Olympic performance.” “Very impressive by the way.” And Scott nods his thanks.

“And I may be one of the few who wasn’t following every move either of you made, but I was certainly in the minority, especially here in Canada.” “ But I was certainly kept abreast of the comings and goings by family, friends, etc.” “May I speak frankly without pretending that I actually know what’s going on in your life?”

“Of course,” Scott replies.

“Few people knew anything about your girlfriend, correct?”

“Yes, that’s true,” Scott, says.

“And yet you felt compelled to bring her to these last two big events at the end of your Olympic year?”

“Yes, but it’s not like I made a point of being with her and not Tessa.” Scott says, “I didn’t even believe that anyone would notice.” “Not really.”

“But after the first event you had to know, right?” Guillaume says. “Yet you still brought her to the Walk of Fame.”

“Well, the shit had already hit the fan by then,” Scott says.

“Had it?” Guillaume askes. “This was a relatively new relationship right?”

 

“Relatively.” Scott replies. “But you think I should not be able to bring my girlfriend to an event that is a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity because people might not like it?” he says his voice rising a bit.

 

“No, I’m not saying that.” He says calmly, “But you omit the fact that it is also the ‘once in a lifetime’ event for your partner of 21 years.” “That is what convinced me that there was no love between you.” “Who would do that to a person they loved and not know how hurt they would be?” Guillaume says.

“I asked her and she said it was fine.” Scott defends himself. “I wouldn’t have brought her if Tessa wasn’t okay with it.”

“Ah,” Guillaume says. “You asked her, or told her?” “And either way her answer would have to be that it was ‘okay’. “ “What else could she say?” “The mere fact that you asked meant that you wanted your girlfriend to come and Tessa would just look spiteful if she refused.”  
“So she agrees and keeps a stiff upper lip while everything around her crumbles.”

“That’s not how it was,” Scott insists, “She was okay with it.”

“Exactly!” Guillaume says, “I know nothing of your lives.”

“We’re not lovers,” Scott says, “Should I not be able to move on with my life?”

“Of course you can,” Guillaume says, “But was it so important that your new girlfriend attend when the celebration was obviously so very important to your longtime partner?” “You know Scott, you’ve mentioned to me at least twice that you and Tessa are not lovers,” “Do you only equate love with sex?” “I love many, many people, and I have sex with one, but never would I treat someone I love without respect and consideration.” “Do you believe that you treated Tessa with respect during that period?” Guillaume says, “Can I ask how much notice you gave her that you were bringing a date?”

“Well,” Scott says a little sheepishly, “About a week because it was last minute that she could come.” 

“So,” Guillaume says, “You didn’t tell her in enough time to get a date just in case your date couldn’t make it?”

“No,” Scott says, “It wasn’t like that.” ”And she’s not dating anyone right now anyway.”

“Please, Scott.” “Tessa is a very beautiful woman.” “Any number of men would be happy to have her on their arm for such a prestigious event.” “But you made it impossible for her to have someone to share it with because you selfishly wanted her to yourself if your girlfriend couldn’t make it.” 

“She loves you and put you first.” “I admit I was just surprised that she would subject herself to seeing you all the time on another tour and be relegated to the back, always second in your thoughts and actions, always second choice, never number one, even on a night where you’re being celebrated for your partnership.” 

Scott doesn’t know what to say. Guillaume just doesn’t understand their relationship. Then he remembers Tessa’s face when he asks her if she knows he loves her and how she couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Well Scott, it’s not fair that I bring up things that I know nothing about and that are in the past and cannot be changed.” “Nothing can bring back the excitement of the night for Tessa and I shouldn’t be sticking my nose into your business.” “Obviously Tessa does not hold it against you that the focus was on you and your girlfriend so why should I even mention it?” 

The point hits home to Scott just as he knows it will.

Guillaume gets up from his seat and pulls on his coat. “I like you Scott.” “I think you’re a great guy and I hope we get to work together again soon, but you’re fooling no one.” “If you want to pretend that Tessa is on board with all of this that’s up to you, but no one else is buying it, and quite frankly, I believe she deserves more.” “If not with you, then with someone else.” 

“Take care mon ami.” 

Scott gets up and gives him a hug and thanks him for the conversation. “I appreciate your honesty Guillaume, thank you.” And Guillaume leaves and Scott sits back down at the table. 

When the waiter approaches Scott asks him for one more of the same and settles in with his thoughts.


	2. A Chance Meeting, and Unresolved Feelings...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on, but Scott still can't get the conversation with Guillaume out of his mind. He doesn't like to think that he's using T, but he keeps coming back to the same questions over and over again. He loves his girlfriend. He does. Why can't he let go of Tess?

Everything has been a bit of a whirlwind these days. Scott flies out to Calgary to do some coaching, which was fun, then back to Toronto for a couple of intense PR days with Tess.

Things are a little strained because he keeps thinking of his conversation with Guillaume and wonders if he is actually taking advantage of Tess. He really doesn’t know what to think anymore. He knows that he never feels as centred as he does when he’s with Tess. Being apart is fine, but that’s because he knows he’ll be with her again soon. She’s like his home base. She grounds him. He still can’t stop thinking about what Guillaume said to him about the situation that he has put Tessa in and he also intimated that Scott’s using her. Now he second-guesses everything he does.

The series of TV appearances has kept them on their toes, but they’re having a blast. Some of the shows have at least been able to put a little different spin on the games they make them play like the dance off on the Social. There was the uncomfortable moment on a radio show where the question was “Who is most likely to secretly fall in love with a friend?” Seriously? He guesses he should thank his lucky stars that those questions are few and far between. 

Scott knows that he has actually has dropped the ball a bit by not being available sooner because he has been spending most of his free time in Florida. He really did need to get away and regroup. Also, the reality is that his girlfriend has to be a priority and that’s where she lives. But at the same time, if they want to make this tour a success, and they do, they have to put the time and sweat equity into it. He knows he can’t leave Tessa with the majority of the responsibility for the decisions.

Tess never complains or says anything derogatory about him or his relationship, not even how available he is, or isn’t. It almost makes it kind of worse. She always has a smile and is there to boost him up and promote him regardless of what is going on in their lives. 

It’s funny that all through their lives they always kept their romantic relationships separate and they really didn’t socialize together and it seemed to work out well when they were younger, but now? 

It seems strange to keep them separate, but it doesn’t feel right not to. If he’s honest, it almost seems like cheating. When either of them get married what will that dynamic work like? Would they all fall into an easy casual friendship together? Or will they drift apart, unable to navigate between the two relationships? He doesn’t like to even think about his life without Tess in it. 

When Scott was away on a ski vacation with Patrick someone tripped and they started talking about people being clumsy and the subject of Tessa came up. She always jokes about how off ice she seems to always be falling or banging into things. 

Scott related the story about being on the Social after the Olympics and how she almost fell down the stairs making their entrance. Patrick laughed and said “good thing you’re always there to catch her!” Scott replied with a laugh that after so many years it’s just automatic. 

Patrick gave him a bit of a funny look and when Scott questioned him he said that he was just wondering what would happen if Scott were with Tessa and his girlfriend and they both tripped? He wondered what Scott’s automatic reaction would be.

Scott gave the diplomatic reply that he would grab them both, but in his heart he didn’t know. His whole life, it seems, he has tried to protect T or he is automatically looking out for her. He reaches out his hand and he never wonders if she’ll take it, she always does. He doesn’t think he could ever stop, or that he would ever want to. 

Maybe, subconsciously, that’s why they do keep things separate. That way they never have to be seen to choose. 

Oh, Guillaume! I think you’ve taken me somewhere I don’t want to go, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

They did get a taste of that situation when they went on the Scotland trip with GMP. There were definitely some uncomfortable moments on that trip. The difference being that Tess also knew his Olympic athlete girlfriend Kaitlyn and that added to already uncomfortable situation. It was awkward when it came to pulling out chairs, opening doors, etc. Tessa tried to make herself scarce and that only seemed to make it more obvious that it was an issue.

He tries to shake himself out of the funk he’s been in but he has a difficult time doing it. He thinks back to the Air Canada function and one of the athletes there that he met was asking about Tessa and if she was seeing anyone. 

Scott recalls being purposefully vague and giving him the once over while they talked and now he wonders why. The guy seemed nice enough, but still. Scott made some noises about how their private lives are separate, blah, blah, and when he thinks about it now it sounds silly even to him. 

The guy didn’t pursue the conversation, but now it makes Scott wonder if he sought out Tessa and introduced himself. Tess is pretty private, and they really weren’t having any “heart to heart” talks these days so he really doesn’t know. Should it matter to him? 

She’s his friend, and he loves her and wants her to be happy too! At least that’s what he tells himself.

***

Back in London, ON, after a quick trip to London, England, Tess is out for dinner at a popular restaurant and is just coming out of the restroom when she sees Scott walking toward her. He has a big smile on his face when he sees her and pulls her in for a warm hug. “Hey kiddo, you’re back!” He says. “How was your trip?

“It was great,” she says with a big smile, “I had a wonderful time.” 

“Why don’t you join us?” Scott says. He surprises himself actually when he says it as he’s here with his girlfriend, but it seems the appropriate thing to do rather than have Tessa sitting at her table alone. 

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Tess replies, “But I’m actually here with someone.” She avoids his eyes and Scott sees that she’s blushing.

“Oh, I see,” he says, and makes an exaggerated facial expression and raises his eyebrows. 

“Settle down,” Tessa says. “We’ll touch base maybe tomorrow if you’re available?” 

“Sure, sure,” Scott says. “I better let you get back to your ‘date’.”

Tess just rolls her eyes and knows that it’s better not to encourage him so she gives him a quick hug and goes back to her table. Scott watches to see what direction she goes and then continues on to the rest room. 

Tess, meanwhile, is now on high alert because she knows Scott better than he knows himself. She smiles a bit when she thinks about how he immediately thought she was by herself. She’s pretty sure he’s not going to just let them eat their meal in peace and that he will likely just ‘happen’ to walk by their table at some point during the evening. It’s just a matter of when. 

She’s not sure who he‘s there with, and she certainly wasn’t going to ask. She scans the room and has a little laugh at her own expense. She talks about Scott and here she is being nosey about who he’s with!

She actually is having a good time and forgets all about him. When it’s time for dessert all that changes and Scott appears out of nowhere with his girlfriend in tow. She doesn’t look impressed when she sees them and Tess is sure he’s going to hear about it once they’re out of the restaurant.

He comes over to the table and Tessa smiles at them as Scott introduces himself and his girlfriend to Tessa’s date. He stands, all 6’4” of him, and politely shakes both their hands and introduces himself. Tessa kind of gets a bit of a kick out of the fact that they both have to look way up to make eye contact with him and she covers the smile on her face with her hand.

“Ry-an, eh?” Scott says with an exaggerated empathises on the ‘Ry’. 

“Gosh, that’s one of your favourite names Tess,” Scott says as he shakes his hand. Ryan laughs and says, “Really?” “Well T that explains why you took pity on me and agreed to come out for dinner.” He smiles warmly as he reaches across the table for her hand. “I’ll have to thank my Mom.” He says with a laugh.

Scott visibly starts when he hears him call her ‘T’ and looks at her like she shouldn’t be letting him call her that. 

Tess looks back at him and she opens her eyes wider and gives him a frosty look. He knows exactly what that means, but he still doesn’t want to leave. His girlfriend actually steps up and tells them it was so nice to see them and that she hopes they enjoy the rest of their evening. With that she turns and starts toward the door and Scott has no choice but to follow. He tells them good night and follows her out the door. 

Scott knows he’s going to hear about it the minute they get in the car and he does.

“Is that the reason we came here for dinner?” she says to him angrily. “So you can see who she’s dating?”

“No!” Scott says empathically. “I didn’t even know she was back home.”

“But we didn’t just ‘happen’ by their table did we?”

Scott hesitates and she tells him not to lie to her. 

“I saw her when I went to the restroom.” he says.

Well, that explains a lot she thinks. How he was suddenly distracted and then rushed her through her meal. He was likely worried Tessa would be gone before he got to see who she was with.

“Well, are you happy now?” she says. “You embarrassed her with the Ryan comment just because you can’t seem to see her enjoying herself with someone else without being petty.”

Scott is starting to get pissed off and tells her he didn’t mean anything by it, it was just a joke.

“That’s not funny Scott.” “And I know you didn’t mean it to be.” “And more to the point so does Tessa.”

The rest of the ride to Ilderton was in silence as they both tried to get past their anger. He reaches across for her hand and she reluctantly opens her clenched fist and lets him hold her hand. 

“I’ll apologize to her,” he says, because he thinks that’s what she wants to hear. Instead she lets go of his hand and crosses her arms across her chest.

“You just don’t get it do you Scott?” “I’m not an idiot, I know why you act like this and I’m sure, deep down, you do too.” “You act out and do these things to keep having to make this about you and Tessa.” “I saw your face when he called her T.” “You were jealous.”

“What?” Scott says. “Like hell, jealous about what?”

“Oh don’t give me that.” She replies. “You get to call her T, not some random guy named “Ry-an” who just strolled on the scene.” “You’re not fooling anybody with that innocent act.” 

They pull into the driveway and she’s out of the car before he barely gets it stopped and she’s up the steps and in the house. Scott leans his forehead on the steering wheel and sighs. 

He actually did feel pissed when he called her T. Aw fuck! He doesn’t know what he wants anymore.  
Well, maybe he does. He wants it all.


	3. Is this the beginning of the end?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott can't seem to watch Tessa moving on without him, even though he has moved on with his life.

Tessa is enjoying being with Ryan more than she ever thought she would. He’s sweet, kind and caring. What’s not to like? On top of that, he’s a doctor. Not just a doctor, but also a plastic surgeon. That's not the thing that makes him special…it's the fact that he also trained to do cleft palate surgery. When he explained that his practice was successful enough to allow him to take on pro bono cases for families who have children born with a cleft palate it only made Tessa like him more. 

Tess is brought to tears hearing the stories about how these children’s lives have been turned around giving them, and their parents, a second chance at happiness.

“Oh T, if you could see their faces light up when they see the results for the first time!” He says. “It’s so rewarding.” “And even if their issue is so severe that the correction is still noticeable they’re still so grateful that I feel I’ve let them down if I can’t do better.” Tessa reaches across and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’d love to meet some of the children,” she says, “If that would be okay?” 

Ryan smiles a huge smile and tells her that would be wonderful! Although the children would not know who she is as most come from other countries and are usually very young, the staff and other patients at the hospital would love it.

“Well, when you can arrange it I’ll be there!” she replies. 

“How about tomorrow?” Ryan says with a smile. “I have a surgery at 11am and you can meet my little patient and then you can gage how much this means to them.” “You'd have to be there by 9am or else she will be already taken down for prep.”

“I’ll be there.” She says and laughs at his eagerness to include her as soon as possible.

“Unfortunately that also means that we’ll have to cut our evening short.” “I’ve enjoyed myself so much,” he said, “I’m so glad my name’s Ryan and you finally agreed to come out with me!”

“Oh that,” Tessa says blushing, “I’m sorry if Scott made you feel uncomfortable. 

“No worries,” Ryan replies. “I was pretty sure Ryan wasn’t a favourite name of yours, but I’m hoping you like it a little more now than you did at the beginning of the evening.”

“I can honestly say that it is becoming one of my very favourite names for sure.” She replies looking into his eyes and smiling.

 

Scott comes back from a run Sunday morning and grabs the paper up from the middle of the driveway on the way in. He’ll have to remember to cancel it before they leave so they’re not piling up while they’re gone. Things have been pretty frosty with his girlfriend since Friday night and he’s just feeling her start to thaw now. He’s been trying not to say anything that might stir things up again. Everything seems to be changing so fast. I guess that's inevitable, he thinks, but he just isn't ready for it. 

Scott runs up and has a shower, comes back downstairs and helps himself to a coffee joining his girlfriend at the table. She’s smiling and making light conversation so he feels that has to be a good sign. She starts asking him questions about what he wants to do today and then they talk about their upcoming travel plans. 

Her trip back to Florida, and his trip to Korea for a skating tour. He knows she isn’t very comfortable about him being away with T, but it’s something they have to get past if their plan to skate for the next couple years pans out. But who knows? Now that Tessa has a boyfriend, Scott doesn't know what the future holds for them?

He thinks about the fact that he’s been with his girlfriend now for a year and he never thought about how it affected their skating, but suddenly he panics when Tessa starts dating. Is that all it is? Worry about their skating career?

He checks around for the newspaper and can’t find it. He asks is she’s seen it and she says “Not this morning, are you sure it came?”

He tells her he brought it in after his run. What the heck? Is he losing his mind now? When he goes to sit back down at the table he accidentally knocks his spoon to the floor and when he picks it up he sees the paper sitting on the chair beside her. He gets up and walks around the table to get it, glancing at her while she, seemingly oblivious, is drinking her coffee and looking at her phone.

Scott flips the paper open and goes directly to the sports section to catch up on the news about the Leafs. He spends a few minutes checking out the scores and flips through the pages until he comes across a two-page spread about Children’s Hospital in London. Right there, front and centre, is Tess. She looks radiant, smiling down at a little child with a cleft palate. The little girl looks shy and has her arm firmly around her doctor’s neck but her eyes are glued on T. It’s then that Scott realizes that the doctor is Tessa’s date Ryan.

Scott looks at all the pictures of staff and patients smiling while getting autographs and pictures with Tess and he’s so proud of her. He reads about the program to help children who don’t have the financial means for the surgery, and how “Dr. Ryan” and his staff donate their time to help make the surgery possible. 

Scott can’t look up from the page as he can feel his girlfriend studying him from across the table and he knows she will be able to read his face the minute he lifts his head. Worse yet, he feels tears gathering in his eyes. He quickly turns to another page and makes himself concentrate on a column about the budget and sees that Ford has cut the funding for Southern Ontario Library in half and learns the effect it will have on libraries across the province, not the least of which are the many jobs lost immediately at SOLS. Jerk, he thinks, and that seems to help him get his emotions under control. 

He folds the paper, finishes his coffee and then drops the paper in the recycle bin and puts his cup in the sink. “I’m just going to run a few errands,” he says, “Do you need anything while I’m out?”

She tells him no, but is watching him closely for any sign of his reaction to the article. Of course she had seen it and had quickly tucked it under the table on the chair. She thought it was going to hit him hard, and she’s right. 

He steps over and gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her he won’t be too long and he’s out the door. She knows he doesn’t have any errands to run, and she now has to wonder where he’s headed. She tells herself that it’s possible he won’t go straight to Tessa, but even she doesn’t believe that. He has to go confirm her love for him to settle himself. 

She didn’t take long to get the just of the relationship between them. Not that she can understand it, but she wonders if she’s wasting her time thinking that they will eventually move on from their dependency on each other. She hopes she’s not just fooling herself. 

Scott finds himself, twenty minutes later, pulling into Tessa’s driveway. There’s another car there, but he’s not going to let that stop him. His heart is pounding as he runs up the steps and knocks on her door. Even while he waits for her to answer he knows he has no right to be upset, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is. And when he’s upset he needs to see Tess.

She opens the door and she’s in her robe. She doesn’t seem shocked to see him, and she asks him if he’d like to come in. He’s not completely surprised when he sees Ryan sitting at the breakfast bar with his jacket and tie slug over the chair beside him and his shirt halfway undone. 

“Sorry for interrupting,” Scott says, even though he doesn’t mean it. “I can leave.” Although he makes no effort to do so. 

“No worries Scott, not on my account anyway,” Ryan says, “I have to get going and try and get some sleep since I didn’t get any last night.”

Scott doesn’t need him to paint a picture about how little sleep he might have gotten last night thank you very much.

Scott tells him he read about his work with Children’s Hospital and that he’d love to help out. Ryan smiles and tells him that they would love it if he could donate some time to come to the hospital. Everyone was asking for him when T was there, especially the nurses he adds with a smile.

He gets up and grabs his jacket and tie and Tessa walks him to the door and he whispers in her ear and pulls her in close and gives her a passionate kiss before telling Scott goodbye and goes on his way.

Tessa looks at Scott and asks him what’s up?

“Well,” Scott says, “I just wondered if there was anything else we needed to take care of before we leave for Korea.” Tessa knows that is complete bullshit, but she plays along. “No, I think we’re good.”

“Oh, okay,” Scott says, “Well, I guess I should get going then.”

“Okay,” Tessa replies. “I’ll see you on Tuesday then.” And she stands and starts toward the front door. Scott realizes this is his cue to leave as she's done talking to him and he gets up from the stool and walks toward the door. He leans in to kiss her and she turns slightly to give him her cheek and pulls the door open wider. 

Scott looks at her, but can't read her expression, and then he walks through the door telling her he’ll see her in a couple of days as he hears the door closes quickly behind him. 

Tessa leans against the closed door. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She thinks. Of course Scott thinks Ryan spent the night and she could give a shit that it’s going to prey on his mind for the next two days until he can quiz her. What matters more right now is the conversation she just had with Ryan. 

He hadn’t stayed the night, although it looked like he did. Good! It won't hurt to have him stew a little bit about the fact that she may be getting together with someone for a change. He always seems to think he’s the only one that has a right to have a relationship.

She just doesn’t know what is going to happen next. She’s so conflicted. Why the fuck does Scott have this hold on her? She doesn’t even know if she even wants to be with him….. and now they’re leaving for a tour in Korea. Her heart is completely fucked now. How is she going to get through a tour with Scott feeling the way she does? 

She wasn’t surprised when she saw Scott at the door. She knew he would have seen the story in the paper and would have to see where things stood with her. It's one of the reasons she didn't let Scott know about Ryan. She had met him socially a couple of times and when he asked her out she thought why not. She knows exactly what Scott’s thinking after all these years. She knows everything about him except why he will never take a chance on them. Why he always acts possessive about her being with someone else, but never wants her for himself.

She thought maybe this time she’d found someone who wanted her and she could replace those feelings about Scott that she has always kept buried deep. Even risking the fact they never get together she doesn't think she could ever tell him how she feels, not after all this time hiding her feelings. She has so many years of practice behind her she's not too worried that she will cave in to emotion. She only worries that she won’t recognize the actual moment if it ever comes.

She wipes a stray tear from her cheek and heads back upstairs to continue packing for their trip.


	4. Nothing Stays the Same...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dynamic of a twenty odd year partnership is changing and Tessa doesn't know if she's equipped to change with it. Feeling like she's more in the way than part of the group she keeps to herself and is lonely. Scott takes advantage of the fact that she makes herself scarce but still can't avoid the guilt he feels leaving her behind.

Tessa is busy running some errands when she receives a text from Scott. That alone is unusual as Scott almost takes a perverse pride in the fact that they don’t text. 

“Hey T, just to let you know, my girlfriend was able to get the time off so she is going to join me for our trip to Korea.” “Just wanted to keep you in the loop.”

Tessa looks down at her phone and doesn’t react immediately. She re-reads the message and just sighs. 

She’s still at home packing and she just doesn’t know how she should be reacting to this news. She knows that it changes the whole dynamic of the trip, and she also realizes that Scott knows this too. She just feels so weary of it all. 

She’s not going to respond to his message. She knows he’s taken the easy way out because he never texts her, but she doesn’t care anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want Scott, she thinks, I’m going to go do my job and I don’t care who you bring. 

She does know that this will mean that she spends most of their free time on her own, but she has never minded her own company anyway, so at least that’s a good thing.

She continues her packing and she hears another text come in and sees it’s from Ryan. It turns out he’s going to be in Korea at the same time as Tess and he wonders if he would be imposing if he came to see one of her shows. Tessa smiles. No, you would not be imposing! And she texts him back that she would love to see him!! 

His text couldn’t be more welcome, or timely. She finds out that he’ll only be there opening night and makes a note to get him a ticket and checks with him to see if he can stay over, because the way Tessa feels right this minute, she knows she’s not going to let him get away without spending the night.

He replies that he’s looking forward to seeing her show, but mostly seeing her, and he will stay the night, but unfortunately it will be a short one because he has an early morning flight out. It feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she finally has something to look forward to. 

 

At the airport Scott goes to grab Tessa’s luggage and she says, “No worries,” as she walks past him and checks it in on her own. She thinks she might as well learn to manage on her own since it appears that’s how she’ll be spending most of her time!

Scott actually looks a little put out by her independence, but of course that’s forgotten when they board the plane and he happily sits with his girlfriend while Tess is left to sit with a random passenger. 

Hmm, she thinks. Very convenient that they managed to get two seats together when they only just bought her ticket. A more suspicious person might think she’s sitting in Tessa’s designated seat.

Instead, she sits, with a 75 year-old grandmother who regales her with pictures and stories about her 10 grandchildren throughout the lengthy trip. Could have been worse though she thinks. He’s so self-absorbed that he doesn’t even think about the logistics when he brings someone. No, they don’t always sit together, but he doesn’t even consider for one minute what it must be like for her to be left on her own. 

Meanwhile, he and his girlfriend hold hands, giggle and make eyes at each other throughout the trip. Tessa doesn’t know if she will be able to live through another trip like this and it’s only just started. It has really made her re-evaluate the reality of them skating together for another couple of years. 

If he has to have his “girlfriend” or “wife” or, whatever she will be, travel with him Tessa knows that isn’t something that she will be able to deal with. 

They get off the plane and they’re taken to their hotel. Scott goes up to the desk and automatically gets the keys for both of their rooms and gives T one of his keys and keeps one of hers. Tessa doesn’t hesitate. She gives him back his key and takes hers from him and heads to the elevator. Scott stands at the desk in a bit of shock. They always keep each other’s key. They’ve done that throughout their whole career. 

His girlfriend comes up to him and asks him what’s wrong. He shakes his head and says nothing. He absentmindedly gives her the key Tessa refused and starts toward the elevator while his girlfriend scurries along behind him.

Not everyone comes down the first night for dinner. It’s always been like this because some people need more time to adjust after the long flight than others. Tessa has notoriously been one of those people, so Scott doesn’t think anything of her missing dinner the first night. It’s actually kind of good, if he can let himself admit that. 

This way he gets the opportunity to introduce his girlfriend to everyone and get all the awkwardness out of the way. They have a great night, but he still feels oddly guilty that Tessa is in her room alone. Normally Scott would have made a stop at Tessa’s room on his way to bed to make sure that she was okay and tucked in, but tonight he certainly can’t do that with his girlfriend in tow. 

Scott, once again, pulls out his phone before they end their evening and texts Tessa to see if everything is okay, wish her a good night and say he’ll see her tomorrow. 

He guesses that now they’ve become “texters.” He slips his phone back in his pocket and when he feels it vibrate with a text he checks it and all Tess says is “Okay, good night.” Scott feels oddly disappointed that her answer is so abrupt.

His girlfriend asks him if everything is okay and he nods his head, but she knows the text had to be from Tessa and that it’s upset him. Too Short? Mad/Sad? Who knows? She’s been with him long enough now to know that it wouldn’t matter what Tessa had texted, Scott would still need to know more. 

They continue on to their room and she hopes she can make him forget all about Tessa, and the fact that she’s in a room, one floor below them, alone.

 

Well it’s a new day and everyone is downstairs having breakfast. Scott and his girlfriend arrive, fashionably late, looking smug and self satisfied for everyone to see. Scott takes in the room looking for Tess but she’s not there. They get their coffee and help themselves to the breakfast buffet and Scott ends up standing in line behind Kaetlyn and asks her if she’s seen Tess. Kaetlyn replies that Tessa has been and gone already…”she’s a real early bird these days.” Kaetlyn says with a smile. 

She knows that the dynamic has changed between Tessa and Scott, and she has to admit that she feels for Tessa. Suddenly, after all these years she’s left on her own while Scott goes around introducing his new girlfriend to everyone. She’s actually glad Tess didn’t have to witness their entrance this morning. She doesn’t begrudge him moving on with his life, but does he have to rub it in Tessa’s face? She doesn’t think so. 

Rehearsals go pretty well and they all seem to be trying to shake off a bit of the rust that has built up over their off season. Tessa and Scott don’t say too much to each other. As far as Tessa is concerned, having Scott’s girlfriend up in the stands watching their every move is enough to make her want to pack up and go home before they even start. 

But once she’s on the ice and able to skate with Scott she feels the happiest she’s felt in days, so she just shuts her out. Scott asks her what she’s been up to and she answers with a smile that she is just keeping herself occupied.

Opening night is tomorrow and Ryan will be coming to the show. She actually can’t wait to see him. She’s lonely. She doesn’t want to socialize with everyone when Scott is there with his girlfriend. She just doesn’t. Maybe that means that she’s petty and insecure, but it is what it is. They make it through the day of rehearsals and it seems like everything is going according to Hoyle. 

 

Scott asks Tess if she’s coming to the team dinner and she says she doesn’t think so and heads to the elevator to go up to her room. Scott, on impulse, follows her and jumps into the elevator before the door closes. “What’s going on T?” he asks her as soon as the doors shut. 

“What do you mean?” she asks. 

“Well,” Scott says, “You’re not at any of the team meals, and you’re keeping to yourself most of the time.” “What’s up?”

Tessa looks him in the eye and says quietly, “Are you serious Scott?” 

“What?” Scott says, genuinely surprised. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to worry about my social life okay?” “You just stay wrapped up in your own.” 

And with that the elevator doors open and she walks out without another word down to her room and lets her door slam shut.

Scott stands there in shock. He really is caught off guard by her reaction. He realizes that it’s different with him having his girlfriend there with him, but they’re happy to have her join them. 

He hesitates and rethinks that last statement. No, they’re not. If he’s honest, he doesn’t want to be socializing with his girlfriend and T. It’s uncomfortable and he’s just as happy that Tess stays in her room, but he feels guilty. He’s just not comfortable admitting, even to himself, that he is happier when she’s not around now that he has his girlfriend with him.

He really is a jerk. He’s just not used to having a girlfriend on these types of trips, and if he’s honest, he wishes she hadn’t come. Almost everything is more complicated with her here. Not just with Tess, but the fact that he has to take her into consideration with everything he does. If he’s tired and wants to rest but she wants to go out, if he doesn’t want to go on some of the excursions but she does, off they go. 

Worst of all he thinks that his skating is suffering because he is not resting enough. Then he thinks back to last night with a smile and has to admit that there are some perks to having her here though.

He does get that he’s been insensitive to the fact that it’s not fair to Tessa to treat her like someone who is just tagging along. They’ve always been a team and now she’s being pushed aside. After all, this isn’t a vacation; it’s their job. 

 

Well he can’t do much about it at this stage though, except try to be more considerate until they get through this tour. And he’s determined to try his best.

 

Opening night goes off pretty smoothly considering the first night is always a bit nerve wracking. After they get out of their costumes the cast usually all meet in the hotel restaurant for a celebratory drink and something to eat, but again Scott notices that Tessa is missing. He excuses himself and makes a quick trip up to her room and knocks on her door. He hears someone in the room, but no one answers. 

He taps again and this time he has to admit he’s getting a little concerned. Suddenly the door opens part way and Tess is there clutching her robe at her neck with her hair all messy and her cheeks flushed. Scott’s caught off guard and stammers out that they were worried about her when she didn’t show up for the cast party. She tells him that she had already let Kaetlyn know that she wouldn’t be attending, but thanks for checking on her, and she starts to close the door. “Are you okay?” Scott asks with a concerned look on his face as he steps further in the doorway. 

“Of course,” Tessa answers, and suddenly Scott hears someone else in the room and realizes she’s not alone. 

 

He’s rooted to the spot. He stares at her…almost through her and asks, “Is there someone here with you?” his voice raspy. 

“Scott, go back down to the party,” Tessa whispers. “I’m good, I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.” And with that, she shuts the door right in his face and he hears the chain secured and the lock engage. 

He can’t think straight knowing she’s behind this door having sex with someone. Who? Who could it be? His mind is racing and he can’t move. He feels sick and he can actually hear them now. His heart is pounding and he wants them to stop, he raises his hand to bang on the door, but he knows he can’t do that. He starts to shake and he feels like he’s having a panic attack as the tears fill his eyes and he stands there trying to block out the sounds, covering his ears but he still can’t make himself move.

Suddenly his phone buzzes and this jars something within him and he tries to grab it quickly as he almost runs down the hallway. Inside the room Tessa also hears Scott’s phone and realizes that he'd still been standing outside their door. 

“Is everything okay,” Ryan asks, blissfully unaware. Tessa smiles at him and says yes, but her head is spinning and she can barely concentrate.

Ryan works his way down her body and Tessa closes her eyes but can’t stop imagining Scott, standing outside the door, listening to them. She knows him so well that she can imagine what it’s done to him and how he’s feeling and something inside her breaks a little.  
For fucks sake Scott… 

She feels her body react to the attention Ryan is giving her and she moves her hips up to meet him as she feels the excitement build and her body stiffens and she grabs at his hair and pulls him in as she absorbs the little shockwaves running through her. She watches as he grabs another condom off the bedside table and she closes her eyes as he enters her and all she can see is Scott. 

She’s now conscious of every sound they make and she can’t concentrate. Despite this, her body reacts naturally and she wraps her legs around him pulling him in tighter as his excitement builds and he thrusts harder and harder into her until they both climax with a loud groan, and she feels him pulsing inside of her as they both come down. 

Later, as they lie in each other’s arms Tessa keeps replaying the image of Scott outside the door over and over again in her head.

Maybe she should have told him Ryan was coming so he wouldn’t have come to her room. 

She has loved Scott for as long as she can remember, so blocking out the fact that he has sex with other girls has become second nature with her, she’s been doing it for most of their career. Even so, she remembers the first time, at a house party, overhearing some of the guys talking about Scott being with a girl in one of the bedrooms. Her young heart broke in a million pieces, yet she forced herself to wait, watching the door for him to come out. Torturing herself as he emerged with some girl she’d never even seen before, because she just had to see his face. 

Scott turned and made eye contact with her and his bravado turned to embarrassment and Tessa ran out of the house and vowed then and there to bury her feeling deep enough so he’d never know how much he hurts her. 

But this is different. He’s not “in love” with her so she doesn’t know why her relationships affect him so much. 

Possessiveness? Over protective? All she knows is that she actually goes to great lengths to shield him from finding out about her relationships. 

She looks down at Ryan who has his head resting on her chest and she knows she isn’t being fair to him. She caresses his hair and she hears him sigh. He has to be gone in a couple of hours so she pushes Scott out of her mind as Ryan rolls her over on top of him and she makes herself keep her eyes open as she works her way slowly down his body.

Over-thinking Scott will have to wait until tomorrow…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been posting more closely together and I feel that I don't get a handle on whether anyone is enjoying the storyline or not. If someone logs on and reads two chapters I don't get the same feedback as when someone reads a chapter and then comes back to read the next. Regardless, sometimes I feel a bit on a roll and I want to continue so, if you are enjoying it, please leave a comment if you're so inclined. Thank you for following along!


	5. You're the only one who matters...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott experiences a reaction he would never have predicted when he goes to Tessa room to see why she isn't at the cast party. Feelings that neither of them would ever admit are exposed and the repercussions will extend further than they know.

Scott answers his phone saying he’s gone to their room because he isn’t feeling very well, but he’ll be back down in a few minutes. 

She can’t help but think this came on rather sudden. It hasn’t escaped her notice that Tessa also isn’t here. Everyone is being very nice but it’s obvious that they're the only ones missing. 

She tells them that Scott isn’t feeling well, excuses herself from the table, and makes her way up to their room. She finds him in the bathroom sick to his stomach. She feels terrible that she doubted him and gets a washcloth and soaks it in cold water and puts it against his forehead. He tells her he’ll be fine, but she thinks they should just stay in the room and forget about the party downstairs. He’s actually glad because he doesn’t think he can face anyone right now. 

His heart is still pounding and, even though he’s sure it’s a panic attack, it truly feels like a heart attack. He’s scared because it actually feels like it’s getting worse.

He’s dealt with anxiety before, but has never experienced anything like he did standing outside of Tessa’s door. He honestly couldn’t move. Add to that the fact that he still can’t stop thinking about who was in Tessa’s room. He just can’t make himself stop. His mind is going a mile a minute and he feels jittery as he makes his way over to the bed.

He lies down, curls up and immediately tears start streaming down his cheeks and he doesn’t know why. His body is shaking and his girlfriend is afraid he’s having a breakdown. She doesn’t know who to call. She climbs on the bed covering him up and tries to comfort him, wrapping her arms around him, but he can’t seem to calm down. Now she’s getting really scared. She does the only thing she can think of. 

She calls Tessa.

Ryan has left for the airport and Tessa is trying to get to sleep and stop thinking about what happened earlier this evening. Suddenly her phone rings and she sees its Scott. She contemplates not answering, but feels she’d just be avoiding the inevitable. 

But it isn’t Scott; it’s his girlfriend. 

“Scott's having some kind of a breakdown,” she says and Tessa can hear the panic in her voice, “Could you come up to our room please?” “I don’t know who else to call.” 

Tessa tells her she’ll be right there and she pulls her robe on over her nightie and runs down the hall to the stairs, as she knows she couldn’t stand there waiting for the elevator. His girlfriend is waiting for her at the door and Tessa closes it behind her. 

Scott is curled up on the bed facing away from her, still trying to catch his breath. Tessa climbs up on the bed and sits beside him, leaning down over his shoulder, whispering in his ear that she’s here and he’s going to be all right. He immediately turns to her and wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, resting his head on her chest. Tessa shushes him and tells him not to worry, everything will be okay. 

She feels his heart pounding and slides her robe open, pulling him up chest to chest as she wraps her arms around him and he tucks his head into her shoulder and keeps repeating that he’s sorry. 

Tessa whispers, “Shhhh, Scott,” “Be with me” she says soothingly as she tries to get them breathing together. “Come on kiddo, concentrate.” She whispers as she feels her own heart start beating faster as it meets his and both seem to start to slowly come down as they sync. She pulls him in tighter and she can feel his tears on her shoulder.

“Shhhh, baby, everything is fine, don’t worry, it’s okay.” She whispers. She rubs his back and tries to comfort him but he seems obsessed with apologizing. He keeps whispering that he couldn’t move. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t move.” “I love you so much T.” 

“Shhh, it doesn’t matter.” “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, it doesn’t matter.” “I love you too.” She whispers to him again, "don’t worry, it‘s alright.”

“I can't stop thinking of you with someone else,” He whispers, “it hurts so much, I’m so sorry.” His body is shaking and his breathing is ragged. 

“Only you matter,” she whispers as tears fall unbidden, down her cheeks. She holds him tightly murmuring softly to him and comforting him as he starts to calm down and his body stops shaking. “Only you matter.” She says softly as he pulls her in tighter and finally starts to take some deep calming breaths and tells her he loves her as he snuggles into her neck. 

She cries because, even though Scott isn’t himself tonight, hearing him say these things to her breaks her heart because she knows tomorrow they’ll be right back where they were." It’s happened so many times before.  
Drunken Scott always tells Tess he loves her more than anyone else, and that she’s the only one for him, and the next day he has his arms around some other girl. 

Tessa glances up and sees one of those other girls sitting in a chair across the room staring at them and she knows how she feels.

His girlfriend is speechless. She really doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s only heard Tessa’s side of the conversation because, for the most part, Scott was whispering into her ear, but that was more than enough. 

She has no idea what happened between them, but it certainly was something that Scott feels he has to apologize for…repeatedly. That much she did hear. And Tessa telling him it doesn’t matter and that he didn’t do it on purpose. Do what? She thinks. And when?

 

And for two people who aren’t “in love” they certainly say they love each other enough times. That was the hardest part to hear. That, and watching them wrapped in each other’s arms, crying.

She has seen people suffer from panic attacks before, from mild to major, but this was one of the worst she has seen. Maybe it's because it’s affecting someone she loves and she feels helpless that she couldn’t comfort him? He didn’t want her. He only wanted Tessa. She knows that whatever has happened must have played a big part in her being able to comfort him, but she’d be a fool to think that was the only reason. And she’s not a fool.

Tessa stays until she sees that he’s calmed down and is finally sleeping soundly. 

She gets up from the bed and feels exhausted, so she can only imagine how he feels. They cover him up and Tessa goes to leave. His girlfriend thanks her for coming. And Tessa gives her a small smile and heads for the door. 

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand the relationship you two have,” his girlfriend, says quietly, “I don’t believe anyone has a chance with either of you if you two stay together.” She goes on to tell Tessa that she’s sorry she came on this trip and made everyone feel uncomfortable. 

“But you can’t know how it feels to watch the two of you together in your bubble, while you block everyone else out.” “Your relationship makes it impossible for Scott and I to move forward, can’t you see that?”

 

Tessa seems ready to walk out the door, but reconsiders. 

“I will never apologize for a relationship I have worked so hard to build for more than twenty years, to make your life easier.” Tessa says quietly but firmly. “You don’t think I know how you feel?” “I have loved Scott for almost my entire life, and he has always turned to someone else because I’ve never been enough.” “And, after all of our years together, you’re the one he’s making his life with, not me.” 

“Me, feel sorry for you? “ “I’ve had to stand back and watch him with countless other girls over the years, always wondering if this is the one he’ll love so much that he leaves me?” ”Leaves us, behind?” 

“You’re not the first person he’s chosen over me, just the latest.” Tessa tells her softly.

Then, holding her head high as fresh tears fall down her cheeks, she turns and leaves the room. 

 

Scott’s girlfriend climbs into bed beside him and snuggles into his back and wraps her arms around him and then she cries tears of her own.

 

Morning seems to come quicker than Tessa can imagine. Suddenly her phone rings and it’s from Scott. She answers and isn’t too surprised when it’s his girlfriend. She explains that she didn’t want Scott to see a text. He’s in the shower now after having a pretty good sleep for the rest of the night. He isn’t saying much so she doesn’t know what all he remembers about last night. 

“Tessa, would you mind if Scott and I go down to breakfast and he gets to tell them he was sick before he ends up seeing you? “I know I have no right to ask you after you helped him last night, but everyone will know something up between you if they see you both together before you talk.

Tessa considers this and tells her that she will stay away and to tell Scott she called while he was in the shower to say that she has errands to run and will see him later. That way he won’t be looking for her.

“Thank you so much,” she says, and Tessa can hear the relief in her voice and knows that his girlfriend is asking this as much for herself as she is for Scott.

“What about rehearsal?” Tessa asks. “Do you think he’s up for it?”

“I thought if he maybe took off rehearsal and rested up he might be fine for tonight if you could catch him up.” She says. 

“Well we’ve certainly done that for each other before,” Tessa says, “Just make sure he lets the organizers know his plans and I do have to see him before the show,” she continues, “I have to know he’s okay to perform or we’ll have to cancel.”

His girlfriend agrees and then has to quickly hang up as she says Scott is stepping out of the shower.

Even that statement hurts Tessa. She purposely doesn’t allow herself think about the little things like that just to keep her sanity. She slides under the covers again since she’s not going to breakfast and tries to decide what to do before rehearsal. 

Now is certainly not the time to start socializing with her cast mates for sure.

 

Tessa gets to rehearsal and finds out that Scott has been and gone. He, evidently, told the organizers that he had been sick and would miss practise to rest up and be ready for tonight. They gave him the minimal changes and he left.

Tessa is left looking exactly like she feels. Left out of the loop. The choreographer looks at her surprised when she had no idea of the change. “Didn’t Scott tell you?” She says. And Tess has to say she hasn’t seen him because he was resting. Everyone kind of looks away and occupies themselves while the changes were explained to Tessa.

Kaetlyn skates over to Tessa and pulls her into a hug. “Tessa,” she says, “I know that things have been tense for you and Scott, but it feels like something has happened to change things.” She says that Scott and his girlfriend were there earlier and that she’s running the show now. Scott stood quiet while she told the choreographer that Scott had been ill and she organized everything. “I’ve never, in all the time I’ve known Scott, seen him be so quiet.”

“Thanks Kaetlyn,” Tessa says quietly, “I guess she’s just looking out for him.” “Well,” Kaetlyn says, “She’s definitely looking out for somebody, that’s for sure.”

The rest of the rehearsal continues without incident. The only difference is that if everyone isn’t looking at her with pity, are were avoiding her.

So that’s how it’s going to be? Tessa thinks. Okay.

It’s show time and Tess still hasn’t seen Scott. She’s ready to go and she sees them walking into the hallway and Scott doesn’t even look her way. She can’t believe it. No matter what they’ve gone through they have always been professional when it came to the product they put on the ice. She watches as they walk past her, Scott with his head down and his girlfriend with her hand on his back guiding him forward. 

Time stands still. He’s not going to hug her. He walks right by like she wasn’t even standing there, waiting for him. It doesn’t go unnoticed by everyone else in the troupe. It’s like no one knows where to look. 

Tessa looks down and takes a deep breath and prepares to go out on the ice. Suddenly he’s there, putting his arms around her and picking her up off the floor and pulling her in close for a hug. They don’t speak and Tessa can’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks. They calm each other down and Scott takes her hand and looks into her eyes as they prepare to do their show. 

They walk out to the ice surface and Scott’s girlfriend gives Tessa a look that leaves no doubt what her intentions are. All bets are off. She’s not giving up without a fight and she’s putting Tessa on notice that she’ll stop at nothing to keep Scott. 

Point taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic and anxiety attacks are all consuming. In the worst cases you feel like you're dying. As someone who has suffered through both I can't stress enough that you have to give the person suffering some empathy. In this situation Scott can't seem to control his feelings for Tessa. Feelings he doesn't, or won't, even recognize in normal circumstances. Don't judge him too harshly. It's not easy to admit, or reconcile those feelings you experience when you are actually having the attacks.  
> I know that some will be critical of how Tessa responds or acts, but in the moment, nothing else matters but getting through it.  
> 


	6. The Morning After the Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lines have been drawn and it appears that all thoughts of a friendship between Tessa and Scott's girlfriend are finished. Truthfully, it was never going to happen anyway, although in fairness, they didn't even know that them not getting along was inevitable.
> 
> Tessa has had plenty of opportunities to fight for Scott's affections over the years, and she hasn't, is this time any different?

Scott’s morning after..

Scott wakes up the morning after his attack and doesn’t want to open his eyes. He feels like he’s been dreaming and he doesn’t want it to end. He keeps his eyes closed and all he can think of is Tess. It’s almost like he could actually smell her on him. Suddenly an arm wraps around his chest and he glances down. Definitely, not Tess. He closes his eyes again. 

He tries to think back to the events of last night and suddenly it comes back to him and hits him like a ton of bricks. He remembers standing outside T’s door and not being able to move. He hears her inside and she’s with someone else. Having sex. He feels his heart constrict and start beating a little faster. The last thing he remembers is, after being sick, lying on the bed trying to stop shaking. His girlfriend came up and took care of him. His mind boomerangs back to Tessa. Who was she with? Who could it be? He thinks about all of the cast members, one by one and he eliminates them all. Could she have met someone since they got here? 

His girlfriend asks him how he feels and he tells her he feels a bit better. “I’m sorry to have ruined your night,” he tells her. “Events are a little foggy after I returned to the room.” “Thank you so much for looking after me,” he says as he turns and pulls her into his chest for a hug. “Was I a big wuss?” he asks. And she assures him that it was nothing she couldn’t handle, and that she’s glad he’s feeling better. Is there anything she can get him? He replies that he thinks he just needs to have a shower and shake out the cobwebs.

He stands in the shower with his eyes closed and just lets the water pour over him. He tries to push the image of Tess with someone else from his mind as he imagines that it’s him she’s making love to and he starts to get aroused. 

Suddenly the door slides open and his girlfriend gets into the shower with him. He immediately feels guilty for his thoughts as she reaches down and cups him in her hand while looking into his eyes. She massages him and rubs her hand up and down his shaft, then kneels and takes him in her mouth. He leans forward and braces himself against the wall as he feels himself getting harder. He tries to force Tessa out of his mind but it’s no use. He then tries to pull back, his heart pounding, but she sucks him in tighter and grabs his hips and pulls him to her. He gives in and has to try and control himself as he starts to thrust into her mouth. Heart pounding he pushes her head back with his hands and pulls her up to him as he spreads her legs and enters her with urgency. 

He lifts her up and she wraps herself around him as he closes his eyes and roughly shoves her against the wall thrusting into her harder and harder, grunting each time going faster and faster until he comes with a loud groan. He stays still and doesn’t want to open his eyes yet, and his guilt takes over and he forces himself to look into his girlfriend’s eyes and they kiss. He lifts her up and steps back as they finish showering and start to get ready for breakfast. 

As they’re drying off she tells him that Tessa had called and said that she had some errands to run and that she would see him at the rink. She also says she told Tessa that he had been sick and that she felt he shouldn’t go to rehearsal and that Tessa said that was fine. She said she would go and that if Scott lets the choreographer know they can get together at show time.

Scott’s a little hurt that Tessa doesn’t actually talk to him. He knows that there’s a good chance she knows he was outside her room her room last night, but he still doesn’t believe that she would intentionally avoid him when he’s sick. Fine. She has a lover. It really shouldn’t matter to him one way or another what, or more precisely, who Tessa does, he thinks a little petulantly. 

But he knows it does. 

His girlfriend keeps dropping little comments about how Tessa didn’t seem to care too much that he was sick. “What kind of person,” she asks, “doesn’t even ask how their partner is feeling?” “It would be nice if she at least called to see how you are, wouldn’t it?” Scott doesn’t take the bait. He’s hurt that T doesn’t actually come to see him, but it is what it is. They haven’t exactly been on the same page these last few days.

They go down for breakfast, late again, but Kaetlyn notices that there isn’t any swagger in their entrance this morning. His girlfriend runs the narrative about how sick Scott was last night and that they’re sorry they didn’t come back down but all he wanted to do was go to bed. There were a few snickers and she blushes and laughs while Scott sits there totally unaffected by their insinuations. 

He’s busy looking around the room and wondering if it was one of them that was with Tess last night. He looks back at the skaters and reassesses each one. Suddenly he realizes someone is speaking to him and it brings him back to the present.

 

At show time he can’t believe that he almost doesn’t hug Tess before they perform. He knows that it’s petty, especially after his behaviour last night, but when he’s hurt he reacts. And sometimes, he reacts very badly. His girlfriend keeps reminding him that Tess doesn’t care and why should he care if she doesn’t? 

But he does. 

He can’t leave her standing there and not have their traditional hug. He just can’t. It means as much to him as it does to her. He loves her, and regardless of their situation, he doesn’t want to hurt her. It also connects them and in reality it helps keep them safe and on the same page. He suddenly turns away from his girlfriend and walks purposefully to Tess, leans in and pulls her up in his arms, but not before he sees the tears in her eyes. He just doesn’t know what to think anymore. Why does she ignore him and then be so emotional? He doesn’t know the answer. 

All he knows is nothing feels more right then when he has Tessa in his arms and they’re getting ready to skate. 

And tonight is no different. 

They hug, and Scott breathes in her scent, and they connect and go out and skate like nothing has ever happened between them. They’re professionals and it shows. Smiling and laughing for the audience, but in their hearts they both know that the emotion they’re feeling is fleeting and once they step off the ice they’ll be back to an awkward silence. 

Competing forced them to get along because they only had each other and it forged a connection that has become almost a curse. Now that other people are in the mix their relationship is becoming a source of tension and strain. No one understands it, least of all them. Will their friendship survive? 

It breaks his heart, but he doesn’t think so.

His girlfriend’s morning after..

She’s wide, awake and listening to Scott’s breathing. She has no idea what type of reaction he’ll have when he wakes up and she’s nervous. He starts to move and she wraps her arm around his chest and he stills. She knows he’s awake now, but he’s seems reluctant to let her know. She tries not to rush him because she wants him to lead the conversation so she can find out what he actually remembers. 

He turns to her and thanks her for looking after him and wraps his arms around her and tells her he’s sorry for ruining her night. She breathes a sigh of relief and assures him it was no problem. If he remembers Tessa being here he’s not alluding to it, but she makes herself be quiet and try to just listen. He says he feels better, but doesn’t ask any questions about what happened, it’s like he just feels he fell asleep and she stayed with him. Well, after what she witnessed last night, she’s certainly not going to enlighten him. 

When he goes to shower she uses his phone to call Tessa and make sure they don’t run into each other right away and she has an opportunity to drive the narrative. Tessa agrees, no surprise there, as she seems ready to do almost anything for Scott. If she didn’t resent her so much she would almost admire her for her devotion to him, but after finding out for sure last night that she’s in love with him she has to look at Tessa as an adversary now not a “best friend,” no matter what Scott says.

She cuts their conversation short and hurries to join Scott in the shower. At first when she initiates sex he doesn’t seem as enthusiastic as usual, but she’s persistent and then he takes her with a forcefulness and roughness he doesn’t usually exhibit and she loves this new attitude. Maybe he’s reinforcing the feeling that he’s not sick? She doesn’t know, but it’s an exciting change that she’s going to encourage. 

Tessa POV

After the show, as they were walking off the ice, Tessa looks at Scott and asks him how he’s feeling. He turns to her and looks into her eyes but before he can answer, his girlfriend, who was waiting in the wings, hurries over to him and grabs him by the hand. Tessa can hear her telling him how great he was and that he should get some rest. 

Tessa had waited to ask how he was because she wasn’t sure what he remembered and she didn’t want to stir up his feelings while he may still be vulnerable. She stays back and watches them leave together and meet up with fans. She side steps everyone and hurries into the change room to get away from the excitement.

She’s given lots of space because no one really knows what to say to her. Everyone here has seen the way they reacted to each other before their skate and they know that something has changed in their relationship. Scott and his girlfriend have been socializing with them while Tessa has kept totally to herself during the tour. Now, if you don’t take into consideration that Tessa was avoiding Scott and his girlfriend, you might think that she was actually avoiding the cast when in reality she was avoiding an uncomfortable situation.

Tessa gets changed and makes her way to her hotel room. She’s hungry and she knows that for the rest of the trip she won’t be spending it with the cast now for sure. It’s easier to do now because there is no expectation for her to socialize with them.

Tessa pulls on her sweats and calls room service to get her supper delivered. So this is the way it ends, she thinks. After over 21 years it ends with them not even talking to each other. They have the GKP trips to get through and their Rock the Rink tour yet and she has no idea how she’s going to manage that. 

Is Scott bringing his girlfriend to all of these events? Right now she has to assume he is. She thinks back to the conversation she had with Ryan at home when he stopped at her house after a long night shift. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, and to let her know that Doctors Without Borders had contacted him and wanted to know if he would join them for a nine-month contract. 

 

Ryan thinks he would like to go for it, but he tells her that he really thought they made a connection. What does she think? Would she ever even consider coming with him? It wouldn’t be until next year, and he tells her that he knows many things could happen between then and now, but he values her opinion.

Tessa tells him that it’s an unbelievable opportunity for him and he shouldn’t base it on what she thinks, but if he’s interested, she thinks he should take it. She feels that he has one of the biggest hearts she has ever seen, and that he would regret not taking the opportunity when it presents itself. As far as her coming…. that is something she has to really think about and at least talk to Scott about because they have a partnership and an obligation to each other for at least the next year. 

She also knows that, for her own aspirations, that she has to strike while the iron is hot. If you’re not in the public eye everyone forgets about you pretty quickly. 

She wonders about her actual life apart from the public eye. She wants to share it with someone. She wants to love, and be loved, not just exist. Or worse yet, sit back and watch Scott moving on with his life. She just can’t give him a better answer right at this moment so she feels he should go with his heart and say yes.

Tessa has had second and third thoughts about her advice to Ryan. She really does like him. But does she love him? She’s not sure, but she thinks she could. Then she thinks she might have answered her own question, but she really doesn’t want to cut him loose and pretend she doesn’t’ have any feelings for him. Is Scott going to marry his girlfriend? She knows it’s not right to wonder about it in order to make her decision about Ryan, but she does. Scott has had all these years to have a relationship with her and he hasn’t. Why should she believe that anything she could say would change that now? 

She knows that she could tell him outright that she loves him, or more precisely, that she’s in love with him, but she’s sure that if he doesn’t have any feelings for her in that regard it would end their partnership, if for nothing else, the guilt he would feel at not being in love with her. 

Is it wrong to think that if Scott commits to marry someone else that it leaves Tess available to make the best partnership she can? She’s not trying to make it seem that Ryan is a second choice, but aside from going with him she is left with telling him that no, she loves Scott and no one else will do. 

What a fucking mess.


	7. There's No Place Like Home...And Tess Can't Get Back There Fast Enough..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Tess get an opportunity to talk alone for a chance and things seem better between them until the uncomfortable plane ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adult content.

Scott gets up early and hits the shower before his girlfriend is awake and moves around the room quietly getting dressed. No wonder she’s tired, they were up until the wee hours of the morning. He’s never been one to complain about having sex for sure, but these last couple of days it’s like she’s insatiable. He’s still not quite himself after his attack and he thinks he should maybe take it a bit easier. Plus, he just can’t get Tess off his mind when they have sex. So there’s that.

He goes down to the breakfast room and sees Tessa sitting by herself with her coffee and yogurt. She hasn’t seen him yet so he quickly gets his coffee and a bagel with some fruit and walks to her table. 

“Mind if I join you?” He asks, and Tessa looks around the room and smiles up at him and tells him “sure.” He leans down and kisses her cheek before sitting down across from her. He knows she looked around to see if his girlfriend was with him and he doesn’t blame her. He now realizes the two of them will never be friends, but that’s the way it goes. He doesn’t think that he really wanted that anyway. Tess isn’t just his best friend, but that’s the closest description he can come up with.

“So how are you feeling now?” Tessa asks, looking into his eyes to gage how much he’s prepared to tell her. 

“Good,” he says, “Well, better at least.” “I’m sorry about messing everything up with the rehearsals.”  
“Also Tess, about going to your room the other night, I have no right to question you about what you do, or who you see.” “I’m sorry for acting like you owed me an explanation.”

Tessa looks at him and realizes that he doesn’t remember her being in his room and she’s definitely not surprised that his girlfriend didn’t mention it. 

“No worries,” Tessa says. She looks at him wondering what’s going on in his head. She sees that he’s struggling with what to say next so they sit in silence. “Well I guess we fly out tonight right after the show,” She says. “I hope I get a quiet seat mate and can manage to get some sleep.”

Scott looks embarrassed and tells her he’s sorry about the seating arrangement on the way down. He’s sure she figured out that her seat was given to his girlfriend. If he had of just had the balls to talk to her about it he’s sure that she would have traded seats. “I should have asked you instead of making you sit in some random seat, and I’m sorry about that.”

“Yes, you should have,” Tessa says, “Because it’s going to be awkward as hell now on the way home when you and I sit together and your girlfriend’s with some Joe Blow!” 

Scott looks up a little surprised and sees that she’s joking and laughs. He misses her sense of humour and how they make each other laugh. He misses how she always supports him…even when he’s treated her badly; she’s always there. He really doesn’t deserve her love.

Tessa suddenly gathers her mess together and stands up to leave. Scott doesn’t have to turn around to know why. He stands. He leans in and says that he also wanted to say he’s sorry for his behaviour at her door, and that… She stops him with a light touch of her finger to his lips. 

“You’ve already apologised enough times, and I told you, I know it wasn’t on purpose.” “Please don’t worry about it anymore Scott.” She says, and leans in and kisses his cheek and whispers, “Only you matter.” And with that she quickly makes her way across the room.

Tessa takes a wide path to avoid speaking to his girlfriend. By now no one believes that they are even friendly; they know they just tolerate each other.

 

Scott is still trying to work out what Tessa meant when she said he had already apologised enough…and that she knows it wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t, but…and was she being sarcastic when she said. “Only he matters?” It didn’t seem like it, but what else could it mean? His girlfriend joins him at the table and says that he sure is the early bird this morning…she thought he would be a little more tired than that; she must be losing her touch. He actually blushes a bit and looks to see who might be in earshot.

She laughs at this and asks him when he got so sensitive? That’s certainly not the Scott she knows she continues with a smile. Scott thinks about this and isn’t really too impressed that that’s the way he comes off. He’s not a kid anymore and maybe it’s time to grow up and act a little more mature and set an example. She can see his wheels turning and she wonders if she went too far. This seems to be a new Scott since his attack and she’s guessing she better respond accordingly.

“You two looked pretty cosy over here,” she says. “What were you talking about?” 

“Did I talk to Tess the night I was sick?” he asks her. 

She asks him what would make him think that? He wasn’t exactly in a conversational condition. “Did you talk to her before you went to our room?” she asks trying to bend the conversation away from her being in the room until she finds out what Tessa said to him. 

“I may have,” he says, looking a bit confused and trying to avoid telling her that he does indeed remember talking to Tessa, but that’s not what he’s referring to. 

He drops the subject and they continue with their breakfast. She keeps taking furtive glances at him wondering what’s going on in his head, what Tessa said to him, and also why he was in such a hurry to get down here this morning without her so he could visit with her. As it stands right now, the only hold she has on Scott, that Tessa doesn’t, is sex. And luckily for her he’s a big fan, so she plans to use that to her advantage to the extreme.  
She makes a mental note to pick up more condoms because, although she’s on the pill, a surprise pregnancy is not in her plans…at least not yet.

Tessa goes back to her room and starts to pack what she can so she’s ready for the flight tonight. She’s not looking forward to it right after they have to perform, but she is looking forward to getting back home. She keeps out her comfy travel clothes and a few essential to get her through the flight and decides to go out for a quick walk to get refreshed before she takes a nap and prepares for the show. 

It’s at least nice that it’s an afternoon show and that the finale is pretty straightforward and they all know their parts. The organizers were very cognizant of the skaters travel plans and choreographed accordingly.

She heads for the stairs, avoiding the elevator completely and steps out into a brisk spring day. She has her playlist going and wears her ear buds and starts out, but evidently not quickly enough. Scott’s girlfriend is sitting on a bench in front of the hotel and sees her coming around the building. Tessa tries to avoid her but not a chance.

“Tessa, are you trying to make Scott feel worse about his attack than he already does?” she asks, “What did you say to him?”

Tess takes in the whole package of what she imagines are the true colours of this person and really doesn’t like what she sees.

She debates not answering, but instead tells her that she said nothing to Scott about his attack, or about her being there in their room, because, “obviously, he doesn’t remember me being there, and you didn’t tell him.” Tessa says.

“I’m sure it would just be embarrassing for him to know you saw him in such a state,” his girlfriend continues, “I’m just trying to help him.”

“Believe me,” Tessa says, “In all our years together we’ve shared plenty of experiences and this doesn’t even rank in the top 5 of “embarrassing” things we know about each other.” “And having a panic attack shouldn’t ever be viewed as an “embarrassing experience,” She says complete with “air quotes.” And with that she pops her ear buds back in and struts away leaving his girlfriend with her mouth hanging open.

Their final show is really well received and soon they’re saying goodbye to their friends and getting ready to board the bus that takes them to the airport. Tessa always loved Korea but she’s not sad to leave this time. She finds a seat on the bus and is able to sit by herself. She sees Scott in a seat in the middle of the bus and is a little surprised. He usually is one of the first to get to the back in one of the party seats. Things are definitely starting to change she thinks.

At the airport Scott grabs her luggage from the hold in the bus and hands it to her and they smile. She turns and starts toward the counter. They’ve really cut it close as the plane is ready to board and they’re hustled on. Tessa’s actually lucky this time and gets both seats to herself, which is a luxury. The only downside is that she’s right at one of the washrooms, but that also could be viewed as a plus, she laughs and prepares to avert her eyes throughout the flight.

They’re well into the flight, the cabin is dark and most of the people on the plane are sleeping, and so was she, when she heard Scott’s phone ping. He has a peculiar text notification she would know anywhere. A moment later he passes her seat quietly and enters the washroom. 

Scott had been sleeping soundly when he receives a text. He looks beside him and the seat is empty. He reads the text and his girlfriend is in the washroom and her zipper is stuck and she can’t fix it, can he help her please?” He shakes off the sleepiness and rubs his face and starts quietly down the aisle careful not to wake anyone. The door is cracked and he steps in and realizes immediately that there’s no stuck zipper. 

She’s standing there only in her t- shirt and no pants and immediately tugs down his pants to his knees and takes him in her hand while guiding his hand between her legs as she kisses him deeply. He has to admit that there’s a certain exciting element and he’s hard almost immediately. She pulls her shirt over her head and Scott takes her breasts in his hands and mouth as she props herself against the small sink and leans back as he licks and sucks her nipples. 

She then puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes him slowly down her body to his knees as she spreads her legs wide and leans back as he fills her with his tongue and fingers, working her into such a frenzy that she can’t help but make a noise which makes her laugh when she sees his reaction. Come on she whispers to him, you’re not done yet Moir, I’ll try to be quieter she says with a smile…. if you do a good job.” 

He crouches back down spreads her open and flicks and nips at her with his tongue and teeth until she arches her back and her body shudders. She pulls him up, has a condom at the ready and then guides him as he thrusts into her while picking her up and she wraps her legs around him as her weight helps to give him maximum penetration. He has to lean back against the sink and they stand awkwardly as he helps her move up and down on him and it excites him even more watching her breasts bouncing with each thrust and they both come pretty quickly. 

He cleans himself up and, as quietly as possible, leaves the washroom and sees Tessa sound asleep right outside the door. Fuck, he thinks. Thankfully she didn’t see him, and he continues quietly back to his seat.

 

About 5 minutes later the washroom door opens and Tessa keeps her eyes closed but his girlfriend leans down, pops Tessa’s ear bud out of her ear and whispers, “Hope we didn’t disturb you too much, Scott feels a whole lot better now.” And Tessa opens her eyes and watches as his girlfriend winks at her and continues on back to her seat.

Further down the plane Kaetlyn also doesn’t miss what was going on and she sees Scott’s girlfriend lean down and say something to Tessa before continuing to her seat with a self-satisfying smug look on her face. Doesn’t take a genius to know what went on in that washroom and poor Tessa was a “prisoner witness” to it. 

Kaetlyn knows that she’ll be on the RTR tour soon and she doesn’t want to insert herself into their private life. But she also knows, if push comes to shove, she won’t be able to keep her feelings to herself and she files this little nugget of information away for later and tries to fall back to sleep.

Later in the flight Tessa gets up to use the washroom to freshen up and walks down the isle past Scott and he laughs and asks if she’s going to fly the plane, and she says “nope, restroom.” 

“What? Don’t like the one at this end?” he asks jokingly. 

“Actually, that washroom has evidently been contaminated,” she says to him with a serious look on her face as she continues down the aisle. 

Scott has a stunned look on his face and his girlfriend looks pissed. Kaetlyn overhears and can’t help but start laughing as she turns her head and covers her face. Scott realizes that they didn’t fool anyone and that he has exposed Tessa to the same humiliation that he felt at her hotel door and he feels terrible. She obviously saw, and heard them. For fucks sake, it seems all he’s doing lately is feeling sorry for hurting Tess. Something has to change that’s for sure.


	8. Fifty shades of ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're back home in Canada and it's time to get ready for a Moir party.

Tessa is so glad to be back home, in her own house, far enough away from Scott and his girlfriend that she knows she won’t see them when she gets up in the morning. She’s had enough of them together to last a lifetime. She doesn’t know how she’ll stand travelling with them both, and she’s decided to put it out of her mind until she actually has to deal with it.

She knows that Scott at least is in Ilderton. The Moir’s are throwing a party tomorrow night and her whole family has been invited. Surprisingly everyone is able to attend, so it should be a lot of fun. She figures his girlfriend will be there but she’ll have enough support around her that she really doesn’t care. 

She decides to see if Ryan can make it and be her date. Her family hasn’t met him yet and it will be a great opportunity to do that without too much pressure on him. He’s used to meeting a lot of different people and she knows that he’ll have a lot of fun 

They had a Virtue get together at the cottage in Bayfield today and it was so great to see everyone finally! She misses her family so much when she’s travelling, but it’s something she’s just gotten used to with all the travel she and Scott have done over the years. They have always been each other’s family. Well, at least they used to be. 

She does hope he’s doing well. His attack doesn’t seem to have affected his sexual appetite if that performance in the washroom is anything to go by. Fuck. She knows his girlfriend planned that little display purposely and she sees her for what she is. A class A bitch. But Scott seems happy enough to be led around by his libido so it isn’t just one sided.

She’s using the only thing Tessa can’t. Sex. Tessa isn’t surprised; she just doesn’t want a front row seat. She knows she could expose her to Scott, but that’s not her style. And maybe he wouldn’t believe her anyway. Scott has to discover these things on his own and she’s not about to start enlightening him. He can have tunnel vision when it comes to believing something bad about someone he cares about. If he’s that over the moon for her, well, he can have her. She’s determined she won’t stoop to her level…. not even for Scott.

*****  
Meanwhile, Tessa is right, Scott is in Ilderton and his girlfriend is with him. She still has a couple of days off and then she will fly back to be at work and Scott will follow in two days to enjoy a few days of relaxation before he gets to back to work. They spent yesterday at the Moir’s getting ready for the party and now they’re just enjoying some down time at Scott’s house. 

After a full day of getting some of the maintenance work done around the house, she made them supper and they sat at the kitchen island talking about their plans. Scott flips on the TV and, as luck would have it, there’s Tessa front and centre on a re-run of the Social. They sit and watch it because she certainly can’t say turn the channel. Scott seems to be locked in to it with a silly looking grin on his face as he watches her doing her little spiel. It’s like he’s a proud dad or something. She’s sitting there slowly burning as she watches him fawn over her on the TV screen. Thankfully her segment ends and he turns it off but he still has a stupid grin on his face. 

She leaves the room for a minute and returns and clears off the island and asks Scott if he’s ready for dessert. Oh, he could likely make room for some he says as he rubs his hands together and she goes to the fridge and pushes the pie she had gotten further back in the fridge and takes out the chocolate syrup and whipped cream. She puts them on the island and hops up and throws her leg across in front of him and straddles him sitting on the counter. He looks surprised for a moment and then he realizes what she’s doing. 

She has a playlist on and she slides her dress up from under her and grabs the whipped cream and squirts some out on her finger and puts it into his mouth and he sucks it off and starts to get into it. He squeezes the chocolate sauce into her mouth and then leans in for a deep kiss and some tongue action as he undoes all the buttons on her dress and lays her back on the counter and drizzles chocolate over her breasts and draws an arrow straight down to between her legs with whipped cream as they laugh and he pulls off his shirt and gets to work. He moves to her side and puts his hand between her legs and uses his fingers to stimulate her while he works his way up her body licking and sucking until all of the chocolate and whipped cream are licked off her body and she’s throbbing against his hand. 

She slides off the counter and pulls at the waistband of his pants and pushes them down and he steps out of them. She gets him to lie back on the island and he feels himself getting harder by the minute as she climbs up and takes him in her hand while she watches him close his eyes and hears him moan. 

She grabs a condom and puts it on him and centres him as she slowly lowers herself and takes him in deeply. She starts to rock onto him as Scott pulls himself up on his elbows and watches her with a sly grin on his face and they lock eyes when suddenly the familiar intro for Temptation comes on and she feels his mood change immediately. Scott lies back on the island and closes his eyes. 

“Google,” she says, “Country playlist” and a slow Blake Shelton song comes on and she grabs Scott’s hands and pulls him up to her and wraps his arms around her as she rocks back and forth on him, willing him to stay with her and not retreat to thinking about Tessa.

He turns them around and lays her on the counter and thrusts into her while she braces herself with her feet on the island meeting him thrust for thrust and watching his determined expression above her while they stare into each others eyes until they both climax in a shuddering heap.

She’s sure he just used her to forget about Tessa, and she’s okay with that, because he was looking at her. Not Tessa.

Scott’s heart is pounding and he tries not to think about how hard it is to keep thoughts of Tessa out of his head now when they have sex. 

 

They smile and share a kiss, but something has changed.  
And they both feel it.

They’re a sticky mess and they move upstairs and into the shower. Scott’s a little quiet now and stands under the showerhead as he soaps up his body. She turns him around to her and smiles up at him and takes him in her hand and tries to guide him to her but instead he just leans in for a quick kiss and continues to lather himself up. 

She watches him as she gets herself cleaned up and when he rinses off she locks her eyes on his and lowers herself to her knees and he watches as she takes him fully into her mouth as he places his hands against the wall behind her.

Then he leans his head back and closes his eyes.

*****

Tessa hears from Ryan and he’s so pleased she has invited him to the Moir party that she almost feels guilty. She doesn’t want to use him, for sure, but she would really love to have someone she can hold on to when she has to meet up with Scott and his whole family. She’s kind of sick of being the third wheel everywhere she goes anymore. She won’t hook up with just anyone no matter how bad she feels, but it seems like that’s what Scott has always done. 

Can you really like so many people that you’re constantly in a relationship? She doesn’t think so. But she hardly remembers a time Scott hasn’t been in a relationship or at least hooking up, except for these last couple of years as they put everything they had into their Olympic dream. 

During those years she thought she had made an impression on him and that he was seeing that she loved him and that she would be worth taking a chance on, but evidently not. Finding out that Scott had hooked up with his old partner hurt her in so many different ways, mostly because she never saw it coming. 

This is a person who, granted was only 10 or 11, gave up on Scott. Tessa was the one who stuck with him through thick and thin. She gave up an opportunity to join the National Ballet for their partnership; and had two surgeries, yet, he still went back to his old partner. Talk about insult to injury. Her heart absolutely didn’t know how to deal with this. 

Scott has always been adamant to everyone that they are just really good friends and she has no counter argument. If he isn’t in love with her, he isn’t in love with her. No matter how her heart breaks, she can’t tell him he has to love her. She just has to try and move on. But it sure isn’t easy.


	9. Party Time at Moir House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With both Scott and Tessa home Alma and Joe feel it's a great time to have a party and get both families together again. It's been far too long.

Scott’s girlfriend isn’t ready to give up on the thought that she and Scott are meant to be together. After all those years apart why would he come back into her life? She knows it has to be for a reason, but would she really get pregnant to keep him? She thinks she might. She felt something change last night and she feels he might be rethinking their relationship. She knows she only has a small window of opportunity and that she has to decide what she’s willing to do in order to keep Scott. 

Tessa doesn’t even have to fight for his love, but evidently she doesn’t seem to know that and it buys her some extra time! The fact these two never got together before this is the only shred of hope she can hold on to so that she can believe she is actually meant to be with Scott.

Tonight they’re going to see her again because of the party, and of course, she‘s invited. This ought to be great she thinks. Everyone in the Moir family fawning all over Tessa, like they always do. Especially Danny. That guy has it bad. She still finds it hilarious that his wife’s name is Tessa too! It’s like he went out to purposely to find his own Tessa. Scott has told her before that both Danny and Charlie look at Tess as their little sister and he’s felt their wrath over the years when he hasn’t treated her properly and they found out. Note to self, she thinks…no Tessa jibes around the Moir brothers, or likely anyone for that matter.

 

It’s a barbeque and all of the Virtues are also invited so yippee, she also gets to see Jordan again. They never did get along even when they were kids.  
Everyone starts arriving and Tessa, low and behold, shows up with a date! It’s the doctor guy they met at the restaurant. Ryan. Interesting, she thinks, so they’re still seeing each other. Oh this should be good. This is going to hit Scott hard for sure. Maybe he’ll see that Tessa is moving on and he will give up on her. She does have to admit that Ryan is pretty hot. Tall, smart, good-looking, what’s not to like? They make a pretty dynamic looking couple, which is even better. Not that she really wants Scott to be hurt, she just wants him to realize that there was a reason he and Tessa never connected during all these years, and that they did.

 

They walk over and say hello, and of course Scott takes the opportunity to kiss Tessa and pull her into his arms like he’s marking his territory. Ryan is super sweet and shakes her hand and tells her it’s nice to see her again. They chat briefly and she can tell that Tessa for sure has had enough as Scott interjects little tid-bits into the conversation showing her, and Ryan, how well he and Tessa know each other. Even Tessa sees it for what it is and tells them that they’re going to circulate and will catch up with them later. 

 

She has to admit, Ryan is quite a catch. Scott has good reason to be worried, and she has good reason for optimism she thinks with a smile.  
As the evening progresses everyone is having a great time and, of course, there’s dancing on the big deck. Ryan and Tessa are slow dancing and Scott stands in a remote corner of the yard, beer in hand, pretending to listen to a family friend but he’s mesmerized watching them. 

She finally manages to get him to dance with her after some outright begging. This is supposed to be the guy who hardly ever sits down when the music’s on? It was like pulling teeth. 

Truth is Scott is starting to feel scared as he watches T being held by someone who actually seems like a pretty great guy. She deserves someone great, he thinks, not someone who is always hurting her. He just feels like seeing Tessa get what she deserves means he loses her forever, and right now, he just can’t even imagine his life without her.

He stands in the yard listening to a couple more songs and chatting to guests, watching everyone having fun. He sees his girlfriend crossing the yard to get a drink and meeting up with Jordan and her boyfriend and he’s surprised that Jordan actually seems to be smiling and having a pleasant conversation with her. Jordan doesn’t really believe Scott and Tessa should to be together anyway so they likely have that in common he thinks. Tessa’s brothers make their way over to Jordan and she introduces them to his girlfriend and they all seem to be getting along great. Any other time Scott would be pleased about this, but right now he could care less. 

He sees T and Ryan with their arms around each other and stealing kisses when they think no one is watching.  
Well, someone is watching.  
And it’s fucking killing him.

Suddenly the song Something to Talk About comes on and Scott walks straight to Tessa and pulls her onto the deck. His girlfriend sees this and watches as he says something to her and Tessa throws her head back and laughs loudly as he twirls her into his arms, dips her and they take over the dance floor. This obviously is a routine of theirs and she can see them getting into it and everyone is making a circle around them. 

She sees the pure pride on Ryan’s face as he watches them, none the wiser about their feelings for each other. She makes her way over to his side to take in the show and he looks down at her and smiles and puts his hand lightly on her back. She joins the crowd clapping and smiling and has to admit that Ryan smiling down at her helps a quite a bit. They do move like they belong together, that much is evident. Some of the moves are so intricate she can’t believe they haven’t practiced them purposely for tonight, but she knows they haven’t. 

She’s even more impressed when Tessa does the splits and everyone cheers. They finish up with a flourish of spins and a dip as Scott pulls her in and kisses her hard on the cheek and holds her tight as they both laugh and try to catch their breath. 

She knows he would keep holding on to Tessa forever. It could be because she actually knows how they feel, but the love they have for each other is so raw, and obvious that she feels hurt just watching them. It's like she’s being cheated on in front of everyone.

She feels an arm around her and it's Ryan pulling her in for a hug with a huge smile on his face. “We’re going to have to practice girl.” He says to her as he gives her a quick squeeze and then leaves her to go to Tessa. She feels tears prickling in her eyes as she looks at these two great guys and they both only have eyes for Tessa. 

Ryan lifts T off her feet and in for a hug telling her how fabulous she was. “You’ll have to teach me some moves so I can try to keep up with you.” He says smiling adoringly at her and drops a sweet kiss on her lips. Suddenly his beeper goes off and he checks it and tells Tess that he has to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. She tells him to go and she will talk to him tomorrow and he leans in and gives her another quick kiss and quickly says goodbye to his hosts, the Moirs, and waves to Tessa’s family as he runs for his car and heads out. 

Scott certainly doesn’t miss this interaction between them, especially the kiss, and his girlfriend sees the concerned look on his face.

The party is still going strong, but most of Tessa’s family has either gone home or are leaving. She thinks she should be heading out too and pulls out her phone to call an uber. Danny makes his way over and asks her if she saved him a dance. She laughs and says of course! Hozier’s Movement comes on and Danny pulls Tessa into him and dances her across the deck. Danny was her first ice-dancing crush and she still has the paper from school where she declares her desire to skate with Danny Moir. She’ll settle now for being held in his arms dancing on the deck, she thinks with a smile.

Meanwhile, Danny can’t remember a time when he didn’t love this beautiful young woman. From the time she was a little gap toothed 6 year old, to the woman she has become now. He has a beautiful wife and family now himself, but this Tessa will always hold a special place in his heart. He would literally do anything for her. He just can’t believe his brother is such an asshat that he literally can’t see what’s right in front of him. He looks into her eyes and asks her how she’s been and she tells him she’s good. He gives her a bit of a side eye and says, “Be honest with me T, how are you really?“

 

“Oh, Danny, what do you want me to say?” she pleads. “This isn’t confession time, we’re way past that.” 

“You two frustrate the hell out of me,” he says. “Anyone can see that the two of you belong together, but you’re both so stubborn that you just won’t even try to make it work.” 

“Hey,” Tessa says, “I’m not the one who went looking for someone else to love.” Her emotions start to get the best of her just being around him. “He doesn’t want me Danny, end of story, he just doesn’t want me.” “At every stage of our life together he has turned to someone else.” “If you care about me at all you’ll understand that I just can’t keep watching him loving someone else.” She says her voice breaking as tears fall down her cheeks. “My heart just can’t take it anymore.”  
He pulls her in and hugs her tightly, “Oh Tessie, don’t cry.”

She looks him in the eye, “Ryan seems to actually think I’m worth loving, worth taking a chance on.” She says, and then takes a deep breath, “He wants me to go away with him Danny, and I’m seriously thinking that maybe it would be a fresh start for me.” “I don’t believe I could take another trip with Scott like this last one, and I really don’t deserve to feel like a third wheel in my own career after all of these years.”

“Don’t do it Tess, please.” “Ryan seems like a great guy for sure, but he’s not the one you’re meant to spend your life with…I just know it.” Danny begs her.  
He pulls her in and she lays her head on his shoulder like her heart is breaking and he kisses her cheek and whispers softly in her ear trying to comfort her.  
Scott sees Danny dancing with T and he can tell that she’s upset. He wonders what they’re talking about. Scott knows how his brothers feel about Tessa, Danny especially. He watches him pull her in and kiss her cheek as he wipes away her tears and whispers into her ear until the song ends. Danny is about the only person Scott could watch with T like this and not be jealous, but even so, he still wishes he were the one holding her. The worst part is he knows that if he would just take a chance and tell her how he feels that maybe she would take a chance on them too.  
Danny and Tess make their way to the edge of the deck and go down the stairs and walk around the corner of the house. Danny tells Tessa that he finds it hard to stand back and watch them make, what he feels, is the biggest mistake of their lives. By now Tessa is seriously crying and she holds on to him tightly and sobs into his shoulder.

Suddenly they hear Scott as he whispers his brother’s name.  
“Just a minute Scott,” He says tersely and it stops Scott in his tracks. “What’s going on?” Scott says, “What’s the matter with Tess?”  
“Nothing,” Danny says, as he turns and faces him “Just go back, we’ll be there in a minute.”  
“What the fuck Danny?” “Let me talk to her.” Scott pushes him aside and makes his way to Tess but she won’t look up at him.  
“Please, look at me babe,” he says, “What’s the matter?”  
“Scott don’t,” she pleads. “I have to go.”  
“I’m not going to let you go until you talk to me,” he says. Danny steps away out of earshot to give them their privacy.

She tries to collect herself and he pulls her in to his chest and holds her tight. He whispers to her that she can tell him anything, “Please don’t cry, I can’t bear it.” He whispers.

‘Well, luckily I think I’m all cried out now so you won’t have to,” she says trying to smile. “I’m okay, honestly.”

She pulls out her phone and calls for an uber and grabs a package of Kleenex from her purse and tries to clean her face up and make herself presentable. Scott takes her chin in his hand and takes her Kleenex and dabs it on his tongue and softly wipes the mascara from underneath her eyes. “There,” he says as he taps her nose with his finger, “Back to abnormally beautiful.” trying to get a little smile out of her, and it works. He tells her that he’ll walk her out to the road to meet the uber and she says she wants to say goodnight to his family first. 

They step around the corner and his girlfriend, who had been looking for him for 15 minutes, sees them and Scott has his arm around Tessa. She watches them make their way over to his parents and Tessa hugs them, and every other Moir in sight and they hear a beeping from out front and it’s evidently Tessa’s ride.  
Danny comes over, takes Tessa’s hand and, despite Scott’s protests, walks her around the corner of the house to the uber.

She watches as Scott moodily grabs a beer and settles into an Adirondack chair, ironically one with a Virtue/Moir monogram, and she watches him shut down as the party continues around him. Scott’s conversation with Guillaume comes back to him. As long as Tess isn’t with someone he is happy to have a girlfriend and keep Tess as his “work” girlfriend is pretty much what Guillaume told him. And he was right. 

He loves Tessa, he always has, but he’s been so afraid that if they start a romantic relationship and it doesn’t work out he’ll lose her forever. It’s always been easy for him to have relationships with other girls as long as Tess doesn’t have a boyfriend he doesn’t have to worry that he’ll lose her? Crazy, but because he’s in love with her and doesn’t want to lose her he has relationships with other women. How’s that for driving the narrative? It’s been great for Scott, but what about Tessa? He’s not even sure she if she would give them a chance, but in his heart he believes she loves him. 

He has to.

He grabs another beer and tries to think of anything else so he doesn’t have to think of T living her best life without him in it.


	10. Reality bites..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to become clearer to Scott as he tries to figure out his life going forward. But some things take longer to sink in than others.

Later that night, Scott lies in bed thinking about what his future relationship with Tessa could look like if he does nothing. One thing is pretty clear to him now. If he stays in a relationship with his girlfriend there’s a very real chance he loses Tessa for good anyway. He’s never pictured his life without Tessa in it. He’s been living life selfishly believing he can have them both, and so far he has.  
The quiet of the night, and the fact that he’s still feeling the effects of too much alcohol, makes it difficult for him to fall asleep. He starts to think about Tessa and idealize what it would be like to make love to her.  
Like she can read his mind, his girlfriend leans over runs her hand down his chest. He whispers that he’s a little tired and she slides her hand lower and she’s surprised that he’s already hard. “Well, evidently not that tired,” she says as she throws off the blankets, settles between his legs, and pulls her nightgown over her head tosses it on the floor. She takes him in her mouth but he immediately touches her head and tells her he won’t last. Surprised, she looks up at him and he still has his eyes closed.  
She takes him in deeper, and pulls back and hears him groan. She moans loudly and takes him in again and he comes as his body shudders. Scott lies there; trying to come down from the high; while she drops little licks and kisses on his abdomen and chest.  
After a few minutes of catching his breath he gets up and flips her over on her stomach and urges her up on her knees as he flicks her with his tongue and he feels her body quiver. He leans in and pushes his tongue inside of her and she her tightens up.  
He settles her shins on his thighs for a better angle, pushing her into the mattress and thrusts his tongue in deeper, as she starts to moan loudly, writhing beneath his touch. He feels himself getting hard again as he continues, and she reaches back and takes him in her hand while she keeps telling him not to stop. He doesn’t and pressures his tongue deep into her until she climaxes.  
She’s a like a puddle, collapsed on the bed as he reaches across her for a Kleenex and grabs a condom from his bedside drawer.  
She’s suddenly alert and tells him he really doesn’t need to use a condom. Scott has to admit he’s tempted. It’s not like they haven’t had sex without one before, but no, he decides, and puts it on anyway.  
She starts to roll over onto her back but he stops her and flips her back on her stomach a bit roughly actually and she’s surprised, but aggressive Scott is pretty exciting.  
He stands and pulls her up until she’s on her hands and knees and centres himself and thrusts into her roughly as she grabs the bed to steady herself. She feels his hands on her hips as he continues to thrust up into her forcefully, over and over, filling her completely until she feels herself coming again.  
His breathing sounds raspy and he’s panting and she has a moment of panic but he finally comes and leans over her back and reaches around and runs his hands over her breasts and down her stomach and then uses his fingers to stimulate her while he’s still inside of her and she can hardly stand it and her body tingling.  
He pulls out of her slowly, and makes his way to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and she calls out to him that that felt amazing! And he agrees.  
Sex certainly isn’t their problem.

He wakes up early in the morning and hops out of bed. His girlfriend is leaving for Florida this morning and he wants to see if she needs anything before the airbus gets here.

He is brushing his teeth when he, absentmindedly notices her makeup bag open and sees her birth control pack and picks it up. He chuckles at the fact that it’s hot pink, like that’s a reminder I guess to take them? Well, he reconsiders that thought process; you’d see it everyday, so he guesses it does. 

It’s open and he goes to snap it shut and pauses. Today is Sunday…so why are the Friday and Saturday pills still there? He hears her coming up the stairs and snaps it shut and puts it back and he suddenly feels guilty. He can’t process the information running through his head fast enough.

She grabs her makeup bag and puts on a bit of lipstick and tells him all of her things are packed and is ready to go as they head downstairs. They hear the horn and he leans in for a kiss and walks her out to the van. She pulls him in for another kiss and whispers she’ll be waiting for him, before she climbing into the van. Scott stands in the driveway and waves until the van is out of sight. It’s only then that he realizes he’s been holding his breath and he feels a weight lift off of his shoulders.

He hasn’t ever imagined life without her since they started dating, but he also never thinks about what their future would look like. 

He thinks again about the pills. Has she stopped taking them? Is there another explanation? He remembers her telling him he didn’t have to wear a condom last night and he doesn’t like where his thoughts are taking him. If there’s a different explanation she’s the only one who can give it to him so that’s a priority conversation for when he sees her in person for sure.

He gives his head a shake and puts those thoughts on the back burner. He wonders what he’s going to do today and he comes to a bit of an impulsive decision and goes back in the house to put on a jacket and gets ready to start his day.

He pulls into the parking garage and feels the butterflies in his stomach. He knows he likely should have talked to Tess about this, but it’s not like he didn’t say he was going to do it. He makes his way to reception and suddenly realizes that he doesn’t even know Ryan’s last name. 

The nurse at the desk recognizes him and takes pity on him. Jackson, she says, and Scott pretends like he knew that all along and had just forgotten. “You’re in luck,” she says, he just finished a surgery and he’s still in the hospital, she says with a smile and she pages him to reception.

 

Scott looks up and Ryan is walking toward him with a big smile on his face. “Scott!” he says, “I can’t believe you actually took the time to come and see us so quickly.” Scott smiles as Ryan pulls him into a warm hug. 

“You can’t know how much it will mean to everyone that you’ve come to visit us.” He says as he leads Scott down the hallway. 

“Olympian in the Hospital” Ryan calls out as Scott laughs and poses for picture after picture with staff and patients filling the hallway. He has a continuing conversation with Ryan while he leads him through the hospital wing. Scott tells him how much he admires what he’s doing for the children with his program and that if there’s anything else he can do to help that he should just ask. 

Ryan thanks him and says that there may be some changes in store for him and the program, but he would let him know. Ryan feels, by Scott’s demeanour, that Tessa hasn’t spoken to him about his plans and he doesn’t want to inadvertently let it slip.

“I had to leave the party so quickly I didn’t get to tell you how great you and T were on the dance floor.” “And on ice you’re both electric!” 

“Well, we’ve been together a long time,” Scott emphasizes, “You’ll have to see us on ice live before you compare the two.”

“I have, and you’re right, video can’t even compare to actually seeing a live performance.” Scott smiles and says he didn’t realize that he had seen them perform live. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a figure skating fan.” 

“Well, I’m a newbie,” he says with a smile. “I of course, saw your Olympic performance along with every other Canadian on TV,” he laughs, “but that show in Korea was my first live show and you both were fabulous!” “I wish I could have spent some more time there to get to meet everyone but it was just a quick stopover.” 

Scott’s heart starts pounding in his ears. It was Ryan that was with T the night he knocked on the door. He doesn’t know how he finishes his conversation with him. He tells him that he’s sorry but he has to go, and Ryan is effusive in his thanks to Scott for taking the time to come and see them.

Scott makes his way outside and bends over with his hands on his knees and feels like he’s going to be sick. He tries to take in deep breaths while he makes his way to his car before he meets up with someone. He opens the door and gets in and lays the seat back, covers his face with his hands and tries to collect himself.

It was Ryan he heard making love to Tessa in Korea. 

Ryan. 

Scott feels like his heart is breaking all over again. Should he be surprised? It’s not like T is the type of person to hook up with just anybody, but being able to put a face to the sounds he heard makes Scott feel worse. He never thought of Ryan for a moment, not when they were all the way over in Korea. 

He then thinks about the show he and his girlfriend put on in the airplane washroom and he feels so ashamed. They didn’t do it on purpose, but that’s no excuse and he knows it. If he had of been a better friend and partner he would have known she was there and acted appropriately, at least he hopes he would have.

After about 15 minutes he feels calm enough to tackle the drive home, and when he gets there he just shuts off everything and lies on his bed. It’s like he’s torturing himself, thinking of the two of them and imaging being back outside of her door. His heart is pounding, and he doesn’t know why, but he hears Tess whispering, “Only you matter,” and it helps calm him.

Later that afternoon Scott heads over to his parent’s house before he gets ready to fly out to Florida tomorrow. He’s still very depressed and it shows. Danny is there and sees the mood Scott is in.

“So, she told you.” he says. 

“Told me what?” Scott asks. 

Danny realizes that he took too much for granted when he left them to sort things out.“

He shrugs. If Tess didn’t tell him it certainly isn’t his place to, even if he believes he should know.

“What are you talking about Danny?” Scott asks him. 

Danny sighs, “You know what Scott, there has to be a pretty good reason Tess hasn’t told you what’s going on in her life, maybe that’s what you should think about.”

By now Scott’s pretty pissed. He’s had enough revelations for one day and now Danny is letting him know that there’s something else Tess is keeping from him.

“So you won’t tell me?” Scott says to him, “Is that why she was crying?” “Who the fuck is her partner here Danny?” “I can’t believe that you won’t tell me.” 

Now Danny’s angry. “Who is her partner here?” he says. “You treated her like shit on this last trip and she just had to sit back and take it.” “I’m sick of it and I can’t blame her for not wanting to continue on like this.” “I’ve tried to stick up for you, but you really don’t even deserve it.”

Scott looks at him incredulously and can’t believe what he’s saying. “What do you know about me and Tess?” he says. “You know nothing!” and he starts to get even more upset. “You care about her, I get it, but that doesn’t give you some insight about what Tess and I mean to each other.” “You have no fucking idea what we’ve been through over the years Danny.” 

Alma comes in the room and asks them what’s going on but Scott’s on a roll now. “None of you have any fucking idea of what Tessa and I mean to each other, or what we’ve gone through together.” “You think you know it all, well you don’t.” “No one does!” “No one but Tess and I.”

Danny looks at him and shakes his head. “I get that we can’t know what all you two have been through, but we also don’t know about half the shit you’ve put Tess through.” Scott goes to interrupt and Danny puts his hand up to stop him.

“Don’t even go there Scott.” ”You’re always quick to say we can’t know how you two feel, well I’m gonna tell you that I have a pretty fucking good idea how she feels about you right now.” “You’re not in love with her? Fine, get on with your life, but you stay the fuck out of her way while she moves on with hers.” “She’s gonna to be gone, and you have nobody to blame but yourself when you lose her, and you are going to lose her.”

“What do you mean…gone?” Scott says. 

“Danny.” 

“What do you mean gone?” 

Danny just shakes his head. “Figure it out!” “You’ve got your head so far up your ass that you’re going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to you.” “Think about the fact that I talked to her for twenty minutes and I know more about how she feels than you do.” 

On that note Danny turns and storms out of the house and lets the door slam loudly behind him.

Scott doesn’t even give it a second thought as to what he’s going to do next… He hears his Mom call out to him but he doesn’t stop, he knows that he has to see her….

It’s starting to rain as he makes his way to Tessa’s house. He doesn’t even know if she’ll be home, but he doesn’t care. If she isn’t he’ll just wait. 

And he does. 

When Tessa pulls into the driveway she’s surprised to see Scott waiting there. She gets out and runs through the raindrops to her front door and Scott is right behind her. She unlocks the door and they get into her house and they still get soaked.

Tessa grabs a couple of towels and throws one to Scott as she dries herself off. It’s dark and dreary outside and so she takes the opportunity to turn on the gas fireplace and she grabs a couple of glasses and pours them each a glass of wine and they go and sit in the living room. 

“So, what’s up?” Tessa asks as Scott looks at her over his glass and takes a sip. “I’m imagining that your girlfriend has gone back to Florida or you wouldn’t be here.” she says a little snarky but doesn’t care.

“Okay, I deserve that,” he says, “And yes, she has gone back home.”

“Tess I know there’s something you’re not telling me.” “I saw how upset you at the party with Danny and I know you told him something that you’re either not willing to share with me, or you haven’t had the opportunity to share.” “ Well here I am.” “Please don’t shut me out.”

“This last trip was a really rough one for me Scott, and I need time to decide exactly what I want…. no, what I need, moving on with my life.”

“Moving on… from us?” Scott says quietly and can barely get the words out.

“Oh Scott,” she says, “You’ve already started moving on from us, I’m just finally accepting it as fact.”

“I don’t want that Tess, I don’t!” “I can’t even imagine my life without you in it, please don’t give up on us.” He says with tears in his eyes.

She tells him nothing is set in stone and that they still have lots of commitments to get through before any final decisions are made so she’s not going to let him force her to get ahead of herself. 

“I think this trip was a pretty good barometer on where our relationship stands, don’t you?” “I’m not trying to stop you moving on with your life, but this was our work environment, and I think the lines get blurred because our job isn’t, well, normal.” “It’s also not a vacation, but you treated it like one.” “It’s pretty obvious to everyone that your girlfriend and I aren’t exactly friendly, and we don’t have to be, but I refuse to be treated, the way I was on this trip, ever again.”

 

“You’re right,” he says. “And I promise I’m going to do something about it.” “But, please T, please don’t make any major decision about us yet.” 

She tells him she doesn’t plan to, but that she actually thinks the writing is on the wall. He tells her to please not think that, and then he stands to leave. He knows he needs to put some space between them to figure things out, which is exactly what he doesn’t do when she walks him to the door.

He takes her hand and pulls her in for a hug and whispers in her ear, “Please don’t give up on me yet Tutu, I love you so much.” And she hears his voice break as he kisses her temple and then lets her go and heads out into the night.  
She stands at the door watching him get in the car and drive away and all she can think about is how much she wishes she could believe him this time.


	11. An Unexpected Dinner Guest...Or Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't seem to be getting any clearer for either Scott or Tessa. They both grapple with the fact that they have feelings for each other, but they just aren't prepared to step over the line...at least not yet. They only seem to worry when it looks like one or the other are getting too serious. Will that ever change as long as they're still skating?

A couple of days later Tessa is out picking up some eggs at grocery store and she runs into Alma and Joe Moir. They hug and Tessa is so glad that they are all on good terms. She loves the whole Moir clan, but Alma and Joe especially. 

Looks like another Moir barbeque is happening Tessa says as she looks in their cart. Alma says she knows them too well. “Tessa, why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?” Alma says, “It’ll just be a quiet evening as both Danny and Charlie are away with their families.” “It’s been so long since we’ve had an opportunity to sit and chat,” she says. “We didn’t even get a chance to talk to you at the family barbeque did we Joe?” 

Joe nods at the appropriate time and Tessa almost laughs. She figures, what the heck, she doesn’t have any plans, and she does really miss seeing them. “Why not” she says, “But you have to let me bring dessert, and Joe, you get to pick,” she says. Joe smiles and says he’d like his favourite please, Toffee cheesecake from Donnelly’s Bakery. “Done!” Tessa says as she gives them both a big hug and promises to be at their house at six.

 

They watch her leave the store and Joe turns to Alma. “You don’t think you should have told her that Scott was coming for dinner?” 

“Well,” Alma says, “I never said he wouldn’t be there, I just said that Danny and Charlie wouldn’t be there.” Joe just shakes his head. “You know that she thinks Scott went back to Florida on Monday, do you think this is a good idea?”

Alma looks at her husband and has tears in her eyes. “Joe, I don’t know about that, but one thing I do know, if these two don’t start talking and getting things figured out they are going to lose each other, and I’m not prepared to accept that without at least putting up some kind of a fight.” Joe knows exactly how she feels; he just doesn’t think they should be interfering. He gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. They’ll do what they can to try and guide their youngest into making the right decisions, and they truly believe that Tessa is the right decision, whether Scott realizes that or not. 

Evening rolls around and Tessa pulls in to the Moir’s driveway and she sees Joe out at the barbeque. She waves to him and he waves her over to him. She gets there and he pulls her into a big hug and kisses her cheek.   
Tessa loves this mild mannered man, who has at times, has been like a father to her. “We’re so glad you could make it Tessie,” he says, “You know we love you like our own don’t you?” Tessa says she does and is surprised that Joe seems so emotional. “We wouldn’t hurt you for the world Tess, you know that right?” 

“Joe, now you’re scaring me,” Tessa says. 

“No, no,” he says, “I just don’t want you to be blindsided Tess.” “Scott’s here.” Tessa could see the relief on Joe’s face the minute he got the news off his chest. She almost laughed because he felt so bad for her. She can’t say she’s happy about being tricked, but she was beginning to think that something was wrong with one of the Moirs, so in the end, this was a relief.

“I thought he was back in Florida,” she said. 

“Well,” Joe said “We’re not exactly sure why he changed his plans, but,” Joe whispers, “he’s been pretty busy running around so maybe he’ll tell you.” Tessa tells him she doesn’t believe that’s going to happen, but she does know if she doesn’t get this cheesecake in the fridge Joe’s going to be pretty disappointed in his dessert. 

Joe gives her another kiss and tells her to head on in and he’ll be in shortly.

Tessa steps in the kitchen and Scott is obviously very surprised that she’s there, and suddenly Alma is very busy.

”Hey stranger,” Scott says, “This is a pleasant surprise.” And he puts down the potatoes he was peeling, wipes his hands on a tea towel and pulls her in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“For me too,” she says and glances over at Alma. 

“Okay,” Alma says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t completely forthcoming, but I just thought we could have a nice dinner, just like old times.”

Scott and Tessa both smile and tell her not to worry about it. 

“My cooking skills haven’t improved enough that I’m going to turn down a home cooked meal even if it means that I have to put up with Scott for a couple of hours.” Tessa says, and follows up with her big laugh as Scott grabs her around the neck, which starts as a chokehold and ends up in a hug.

They have a great time over dinner. They talk about all of the safe subjects, the boys and their families, the skating club, etc. 

Joe lights a fire in the backyard fire pit and they all bundle up and go out to have an after dinner drink and enjoy the solitude.

Joe and Alma don’t last long before they go in. Tessa starts to feel colder and Scott goes in and grabs a comforter and covers them both while they sit, his arm around her shoulders, watching the fire die down and the darkness of the night fold down around them.

“I thought you were going back to Florida,” Tessa says, trying to figure out what caused the change in plans. 

“Well,” he replies with a sigh, “I’ve been having some issues with panic attacks lately so I decided to take the opportunity to talk to a therapist and see if I can get some help.”

Tessa sits up straight and says, “You’ve had more?” And realizes her mistake as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “What I mean is,” She continues, “You’ve had more than one?”

Scott looks at her and she lowers her eyes. “You were there, weren’t you?” he says softly, “In the room with me.” “I honestly thought I must have dreamed you there.” “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I think you know the answer to that Scott,” she says quietly and she still doesn’t look up at him.

“Thank you so much T,” Scott whispers to her as he lifts her chin and kisses her cheek, which actually ends up being more the corner of her mouth than her cheek. He looks into her eyes and then leans in for another kiss.

This one leaves no doubt of his intention, It’s full on her lips, as he works his tongue gently into her mouth and feels her respond immediately and he deepens the kiss pulling her tighter into him. He feels his heart beating faster and he doesn’t want to let her go. Tessa puts her hands flat on his chest and she feels it too, but she gently pushes him away from her. No matter how great this feels, they’re both with other people right now and she doesn’t plan on being the other woman in Scott’s relationship.

“We can’t Scott, not like this,” she whispers.

He knows she’s right, and he almost says he’s sorry, but stops himself. He’s not sorry. He has to fight the desire to take her back in his arms and kiss her again. He wonders if knowing what it feels like to really kiss her might have actually made things worse. 

 

“Alma, what are you doin?” Joe calls out from the living room. Alma jumps away from the window at the sound of his voice.

“Just tidying up,” she answers. By this time Joe is standing in the doorway of the kitchen and he gives her a look.

“Okay, what are they doing?” he asks…

”He kissed her.” Alma says in an excited whisper.

“Kissed her, kissed her?” Joe says and wonders why they’re both whispering.

“Really kissed her,” Alma says. And Joe looks concerned. 

“I know we want them to be together, but they are with other people right now, and I don’t think it’s right to be excited about them being in this situation. Alma agrees, but not so secretly, she hopes that it might lead to them at least looking at the possibility that they just might be made for each other after all. They move away from the window and out to the living room.

 

Tessa sits up and tells Scott that she really thinks it’s about time she left for home. He knows the spell has been broken and they both have lots of questions and no answers. 

“Tess,” he says, “I,” and it just hangs in the air because he doesn’t know what to say next.

“Please lets not say anything in the heat of the moment that we’ll regret Scott.” “I can’t bear it.” “Let’s call it a night and see how we feel when our minds are more settled.” 

He nods in agreement because he knows she’s right. Is this just the excitement of something that for so long was the exact thing they worked so hard to avoid? It doesn’t feel like it right now for sure. He sure didn’t feel like he was kissing someone who was just a friend. Right now all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her and take her home. But he knows that isn’t happening. He also leaves for Florida tomorrow, and he can’t put off that trip any longer. He stands up and gathers the comforter and reaches out for her hand and pulls her up off the bench and they walk silently into the house to say goodnight to his parents.

Alma gives Tessa a big hug and she isn’t getting a very good vibe from either of them. They’re both pretty quiet as they say goodnight and Joe and Alma watch from the door as Scott walks Tess to her car and opens the door. They have a quick hug, and he gives her a peck on the cheek and watches as she starts her car and backs out of the driveway and leaves with a wave.

They watch Scott stand there for a moment, run his fingers through his hair and then get in his car and leave with a wave to his parents. Alma looks up at Joe and worries that maybe he was right. Did she just set them up for more heartache? He knows what she’s thinking and tells her not to worry. 

“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” “Maybe not today, tomorrow, or even next month, but we have to let them sort this out for themselves from here on in.” She smiles at him in agreement but he sees the unshed tears in her eyes and he leans in and kisses her and they close the door.

Tessa’s POV

As she pulls away from the house she still has butterflies in her stomach. She tries her best not to read more into it than there is. It’s all well and good to think that maybe she should have told him how she felt, but the fact is, they’ve almost come too far for that. She knows he would have taken it further, but is that just lust? It almost felt dangerous; it felt so right but also felt wrong. How can you fully enjoy that type of a moment? He has a girlfriend. And although Tessa knows that she hasn’t committed to Ryan, she still has no plans whatsoever to lead him on either. 

She’s not going to hedge her bets waiting to see what happens next with Scott that’s for sure. Ryan is just too nice of a person to do that to. 

They also still have skating commitments. If they move forward now and this all goes south, no pun intended, then they will have to be professional and at least finish up this years commitments no matter how hard it is.   
It was all well and good that she said she wouldn’t endure another trip like the last, but she realizes she may have no choice.

 

Scott’s POV

After spending a restless night running through all of the scenarios going through head it was finally time to get up and get ready to go to the airport.

Settled in his seat his mind drifts back to last night. He knows he loves Tessa. He always has. But they’ve also always blurred the line a bit, flirting and pushing boundaries, over the years. Is that what he’s doing now? It sure didn’t feel like it. It felt like so much more. Now, in the light of day, he’s more than a little afraid of the way he felt last night. It’s not like he hasn’t had girlfriends in the past, but T isn’t just some other girl he can date and see where things go. This is Tess.

He reaches the down and grabs his bag and sees his girlfriend running over to him and she jumps into his arms and wraps her legs around him and kisses him as he drops his bag. If he thought he could slide into town quietly he’s sorely mistaken. As luck would have it, some people he knows from London are there at the airport going back to Canada and he greets them and poses for a few pictures, which he expects will be on social media in about two minutes. 

Oh well, most of the time he’s here he’s free to roam around undetected, and they’re nice people, so what the hell. He’ll be in Spain shortly and that will get people on social media all revved up again so he might as well get used to it a few days early. 

He walks out to the car listening to his girlfriend tell him how much she missed him and loves him and he has an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.


	12. I Need A Hero..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After they kiss, both Scott and Tessa react differently. Everyone always says that Scott wears his heart on his sleeve, but it's actually just a nice way to say that he acts impulsively. It might serve him well to not always have a "knee jerk" reaction every time he thinks something isn't going his way. but time will tell.

Tessa is finishes up her make-up and slips on her heels and steps in front of her full-length mirror and figures she’ll do.

Ryan had called her to see if she would be able to join him for dinner. She hesitated a moment but knows she’ll have to talk to him sometime and he was so happy when she accepted. He told her the restaurant and she was impressed. He laughed and said a hospital donor put in a good word for him and got him a table. Tessa laughs with him and says, regardless, we’re going to have a great dinner!

The valet takes his keys and Ryan puts his arm out for Tessa to take and they make their way into the restaurant. He is just way too humble Tessa think as he’s greeted by the restaurant owner and shown one of the best tables in the house. Ryan blushes when Tessa tells him he’s too modest, and she can see that he’s pleased. After they’re settled he tells Tessa about Scott coming to the hospital and that he realized, in time, that Scott had no idea that he would be leaving for with Doctors without Borders for a while. Tessa explained that she hadn’t realized that Scott would take it upon himself to go to the hospital so quickly, although she was glad he did. “I take it that he didn’t know that I was in Korea for the show.” “I’m sorry that I kind of let the cat out of the bag on that one,” he says. 

Tessa realizes that Scott now knows that it was Ryan in the room with her and that explains a lot. Well, it really wasn’t a secret she just didn’t believe she had to share her love life with the entire group. “No worries,” she says and smiles at him.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner and as they start dessert the conversation comes back around to Scott. “I know I have no right to ask this T, but have you and Scott ever been in a romantic relationship together?” “I ask because he seemed to have more on his mind than just coming to the hospital to cheer people up.

“No Ryan, we have never been in a romantic relationship.”

“But you love each other,” he persists. 

“Yes, we’ve always loved each other, sometimes more, sometimes less.” She adds with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“No,” Ryan says, “I mean you’re ‘in love’ with each other.” Tessa is caught off guard and blushes and lowers her eyes. “Am I right?” he asks. “I see it written on both your faces and it's surprising you've never acted on it.” Tessa blushes deeper and has a hard time meeting his eyes. 

“Well,” Tessa starts off, “One of the reasons I agreed to come to dinner was to be as honest as I can with you.” “I do have some, unresolved, feelings and I won’t lead you on, when I have feelings for someone else.”

“And you’ve now acted on these feelings?” he asks with sadness in his eyes. 

“Well,” Tessa says, “To a degree.” “We kissed.”

“But you always kiss,” he says and Tessa can hear the optimism in his voice.

“No, Ryan, we don’t.” “I kiss him, he kisses me, but this time we kissed, and we really never have before.”

“So you’re in love with him?” he says. Tessa looks at him with tears in her eyes. She has never said those words out loud to anyone in the world, and she doesn’t plan on saying them now. So she doesn’t answer him.

“Is Scott telling his girlfriend that you kissed?” he asks. 

“I have no idea.” She tells him honestly. “I only know that I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you.”

She hates seeing the sadness in his eyes, but she would rather hurt him now, then later.

Suddenly there’s a commotion in the room and a gentleman stands up from his chair clutching his chest and everyone starts screaming. Ryan doesn’t hesitate for a moment and he’s up and lowering the gentleman to the floor and telling him that he’s a doctor and asking him if he can help him. The man nods his head yes and passes out. His wife is on her knees at his side sobbing. Tessa tries to comfort her as Ryan opens the man’s shirt and starts CPR and picks a patron with a phone in his hand and asks them to call 911 and directs another to go out front and wait for them.

Tessa is in awe of his confidence and ability. The ambulance arrives quickly and Ryan gives Tess his valet ticket and asks her if she’ll meet him at the hospital so he can ride in the ambulance with the couple. She immediately agrees and tells him she will be there shortly as he climbs in the ambulance. It’s only now she realizes that cameras everywhere were filming. She hopes they have the decency to respect the couple’s privacy.

She pauses and says to the room, "Please be respectful to this couple with your pictures, it's an extremely emotional time for them." And most of the people lower their phones and nod their heads as they seem to realize this is about real people and could be traumatic for them.

She seeks out the waiter and asks him for their check. He leaves and comes back with the manager who is effusive in his thanks and says he wouldn’t dream of charging them. He has nothing but thanks for them and begs them to let him know how the gentleman makes out. In addition, he gives her his card and tells her that they are welcome anytime in this restaurant. Tessa thanks him for his hospitality and tells him they will definitely let him know how the gentleman is when she gets to the hospital. And with that she heads out to get Ryan’s car from the valet.

At the hospital Tessa goes to the nurses station and recognizes one of the nurses that she had met when she visited the hospital. She shows Tessa to Ryan’s office and tells her that he shouldn’t be too long. Tessa asks if she knows how the gentleman is and the nurse replied that she can’t give her that information unfortunately, but she smiles and tells her that Dr Ryan should be will her shortly. Tessa breathes a little easier and settles into the chair. She doesn’t know how long it is until Ryan shows up because she ends up falling asleep curled up with her head on the arm of the chair and the next thing she knows Ryan is crouched down by her head and softly brushing her hair off of her cheek. 

She opens her eyes and goes to get up and he tells her he’s sorry he woke her, but he just had to touch her because she looked so beautiful sleeping so peacefully. She blushes and moves up to a sitting position and Ryan stands and leans against his desk. He tells her that the patient is holding his own, and he basically was just in the operating room with the surgeon because he felt personally invested in following through till he saw how he was.

“I’m so sorry I just left you there T how did you make out?” He looks a little embarrassed as he tells her he realized he left her with the check.

She laughs and says, “You don’t often dine and dash, but when you do, it’s always dramatic!” They both laugh and feel a great sense of relief now that the man is, by all appearances, going to be fine.

She explains to him how the manager wouldn’t take any money from her and asked her to please let him know how the gentleman makes out. Ryan tells her that he’s going to stop for a minute to talk with the patient’s wife and, if Tessa has the mangers number, he’ll ask her to call. 

Tessa removes the card from her pocket and gives it to him and he says if she doesn’t mind waiting a minute, he’ll be quick to change and then take her home.

She tells him she doesn’t mind at all. He leans forward and gives her a light kiss on the cheek, smiles, and then leaves the office. Tessa feels a tear escape down her cheek and quickly wipes it away and takes a deep breath. 

Get it together Virtue, she tells herself and she settles back down to wait for him.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, the media was having a heyday with the story. ‘Hero Doctor and Olympian girlfriend save man’s life.’ ‘Real life Heroes save man from certain death’ etc., etc. It hits all the local TV stations and is picked up as a ‘feel good’ story internationally, which is how Scott finds out about it. They’re sitting at the breakfast table and he’s trying to figure out what to do. He asked her about the pills and she looked surprised. “Are you spying on me?” she asks him. 

“No,” he says feeling guilty, “I was brushing my teeth and saw the bright package and it was open, when I went to snap it shut I noticed that the pills hadn’t been taken.” “It certainly wasn’t intentional, but it did seem awfully coincidental, that you told me the night before that I didn’t need to wear a condom.” 

She jumps up from the counter and goes upstairs and comes back down immediately with her pill case and hands it to him. He doesn’t take it and she opens it and sits it on the counter in front of him showing him that all of the appropriate pills had been taken. “In the excitement of the party etc. I did miss two pills, but I took two on each of the following days and I planned on taking extra precautions for the next week or so to be sure.” “It was accidental, not planned.” “Do you think I want an unplanned pregnancy?” “No I do not!” she says and starts to get teary and walks to the sink and quickly drops all the pills she just popped out down the drain and runs the water for a drink.

Scott feels immediately bad and comes up behind her and puts his arms around her and kisses her cheek and tells her he’s sorry. She turns in his arms and hugs him tight and can’t help but smile inwardly at how convenient that turned out to be. He asks her what she wants to do for the day and she smiles and tells him to check the weather and then they’ll make a decision. He flicks on the TV and instantly recognizes Ryan hopping in an ambulance with a woman and a man on a gurney. 

“Isn’t that Ryan?” she says, but Scott is in a trance as he watches as the camera shows a picture of Tess, looking worried, and beautiful, as she speaks to a group of people at, what appears to be, a restaurant, asking them to please be respectful. He changes the channel and the story is just being reported on. 

‘Olympic Champion and her Hero Doctor boyfriend save man’s life while on a date night.’ ‘All in a day’s work, evidently, for this power couple.’ As they show Tess exiting the restaurant looking concerned and not taking any questions.

Scott’s upset and it’s obvious. He shuts off the TV and picks up his mug and walks it to the sink. He stands looking out the window, clenching his jaw and then says, “If you can get the time off would you like me to see if there’s space for you to come with me on the trip to Spain?”

“I’d love that!” she squeals, thinking this is better than she could have ever hoped for. “Well, lets see if we can make it happen.” He says and goes to get his phone as she does a little happy dance around the kitchen.  
Tessa meanwhile is trying to avoid all the news stories on TV and in the newspapers. She knew it would leak out, but she never dreamed it would get this much attention. She’s avoiding social media completely and is keeping her TV off, and the only exception was to call her Mom and explain the situation to her and ask her to let her siblings know. She wonders about calling Scott, but she knows he’s in Florida now and that she won’t see him until they meet in Spain as he will be flying in from Florida. She doesn’t dare hope that he has told his girlfriend that they kissed and that maybe; just maybe, he tells her that he loves Tessa. It’s a pipe dream she knows, but that’s what dreams are usually, the impossible becoming possible.

She hears the doorbell and wonders who it could be. She sneaks a peek out the window just in case it’s a reporter and sees Ryan and goes and opens the door. “I feel like you just left here,” Tessa says smiling. And she invites him in for a coffee and some pastry. He apologies for not calling first and he looks a little scruffy and she asks if everything is alright. 

“After I dropped you off and went home I couldn’t sleep,” he says. “T, I don’t wait to pressure you, but I’m going in to this with my eyes wide open.” “I know you love Scott, but I’m asking you to promise me something,” “If you go away, and Scott hasn’t told his girlfriend you kissed, or that he loves you, will you at least give me a chance?”

Tessa looks at him and can’t bear to look at the raw emotion on his face without tearing up.  
“Don’t cry,” he says, “I don’t want to make you give up on someone you believe you really do love, I just want to let you know, that’s there’s someone, right here in front of you, that would like nothing better than to shout it from the rooftops that he is unequivocally in love with you!” “All I ask is that you keep your heart open to me if you and Scott don’t work out.” “I would happily be your second choice and spend the rest of my life convincing you that you made the right decision in giving me a chance.”

Tessa is crying now and he takes her in his arms. He tells her that he won’t pressure her, and that she doesn’t have to come with him next year. He knows now that she has her own dreams, but he also knows that, if given the chance, they could make it work while they were apart. 

“Just tell me you won’t close the door, or your heart, to me”

“I don’t deserve that kind of love or commitment from you Ryan.” “I just don’t know what might happen, and couldn’t bear to hurt you.”

“If you won’t promise me this, you will break my heart,” he says, “all I ask is for that chance if you and Scott don’t work out.” “No pressure, and I will walk away, if you do.” “Please Tess, please,” he whispers as he pulls her close. She looks up at his face and see’s that he also has tears running down his cheeks. 

She nods up at him. “Okay,” she says, “I promise, but I have a feeling we’re both going to end up with our hearts broken in some way or another.”

“I’m willing to take that chance,” he says and leans in and kisses her deeply.

He steps back and tells her that he’ll wait for her call after these trips she has in front of her and then they will go from there. The time away will do each of them good. And with one more kiss and a wish for a safe trip for her, he’s gone.

Tessa closes the door and covers her face in her hands and cries as she slides down the door to the floor.

Spain

Tessa is pulling her suitcase behind her as she enters the lobby of the hotel in Mallorca. It’s a beautiful resort, and she’s really looking forward to this trip, especially after all the angst of their last trip. She makes her way to the desk and is greeted by the clerk with a smile. 

“Welcome Ms Virtue” she says and Tessa smiles and tells her to please call her Tessa. The clerk rewards her with a huge smile and gives her the key card for her room. “Has Scott Moir arrived yet?” she asks and the clerk replies that they have, and that she thinks they’re in their room now.” Tessa’s heart stops for a moment and she hopes she hasn’t given herself away. 

“Great!” she says, “That gives me an opportunity to freshen up and maybe even take a nap before I see anyone,” she smiles and makes her way to the elevator. 

It’s happening again, she thinks and almost feels dizzy. Well, there’s her answer. She thinks its time to exorcize the love she believed she has for him from her system. And with that she smiles back at the clerk as the elevator doors close and her feels her heart break one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't judge this chapter too harshly. Just remember, if they didn't screw up or react badly there would be no story. I could just write,
> 
> "And they lived happily ever after."


	13. A Broken Trust..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week isn't turning out as bad as Tess would have predicted, but, near the end of the trip she realizes she's spoken too soon.

Tessa has to admit that she’s a little surprised that Scott didn’t even call up to her room, but she knows that he likely isn’t in too much of a hurry to face her when he has brought his girlfriend again after he basically promised he wouldn’t. 

She feels refreshed and is determined not to cry herself to sleep when she lies down for a nap. She wants to look her best. She gets dressed and grabs her sunglasses and goes down to the lobby to meet up with the organizers. 

The elevator doors opened and she sees that many of the guests are already there in the lobby, eager to hear about the plans for the week ahead. Tessa smiles and greets everyone as she makes her way over to the GKP event representative.

There are a couple of people she actually knows slightly and as she goes to greet them she sees Scott and his girlfriend out of the corner of her eye entering the room. She keeps walking and makes her way out to the balcony to the woman she recognized and she can tell that she is flattered that Tessa remembered her. She goes on to tell her that they had been here since last night, and at first, when they met Scott and his girlfriend, they were afraid she had decided not to come. “Oh no,” Tessa replies, “I’ve really been looking forward to this trip,” she says with a smile. 

She goes on to ask the woman if she has ever been to Spain before, and while she tries to listen she is keeping her eyes on the door, knowing that she has to meet up with Scott shortly or it will look obvious that she’s avoiding him…and she is. She hears the organizer speaking in a microphone urging everyone to come in a take an opportunity to meet each other. 

Tessa enters the room and Scott locks eyes with her and then looks down. Norm, the rep, is getting all of the “talent” organized in chairs at the front of the room. The Chef, the musical guests that are there so far, and of course, Tessa and Scott. Tess goes up to the front and Scott pulls her into a side hug and kisses her cheek while she smiles for everyone in the crowd. Sitting, front and centre, is Scott’s girlfriend, smiling for all the world to see.  
They are the last to be introduced and Norm announces that they obviously need no introduction and this gets a round of applause from the guests. 

Today is just a “get settled” day Norm says, and invites everyone for cocktails out on the patio before dinner. Everyone is on his or her own time today he says, as he knows the time change can take a bit to get used to. We will meet tomorrow morning at 8am and start all the day’s activities. “Now off you go!” he says. “Meet and mingle” or not,” he says with a smile.

Tess slides off her stool and begins to make her way to the patio and puts on her sunglasses as she steps out into the sunshine. She walks to the table and helps herself to one of the exotic looking drinks and walks around the grounds as she slowly sips her drink. 

“Tessa.” She knows who it is without even turning around. But she does, unfortunately, have to turn around. 

Tessa just stands there waiting to hear what she has to say. The fact that Scott’s girlfriend is the first to speak to her is a little bit surprising, but she’s certainly not going to start the conversation and help her along. 

“I know we got off on the wrong foot from the very beginning and I’m sorry about that.” “I hope we will be able to get along on this trip and not make things awkward.”

Tessa gives her a huge smile for everyone that she knows is watching, then she puts her hand on her shoulder and laughs like she’s just been told a funny story and walks away just as Scott is coming through the doors with his girlfriends sweater. He takes in the scene and he knows that isn’t a happy laugh that he hears from Tess. He realizes the sweater was a ruse so that she could get to Tessa and talk to her. 

Scott was adamant that there would be no shoving their relationship in Tessa’s face or that would be it, and he made sure she knew he means it. And she does. He already confronted her about when he had his attack and T being in the room and her not telling him. She explained it away as trying to protect him, and she thinks he accepted that, but she’s going to have to watch her step for sure.

Scott asks her what she said to Tess and his girlfriend replied that she knew they got off to a bad start and she hoped they could get along. “What did she say?” he asked. “Nothing.” “She just laughed at me.” Scott doesn’t know what to think. He knows Tess isn’t a mean person, but he did hear her laugh, and it wasn’t a pleasant one. He looks across at her making her way quickly around the room away from them.

Tessa stops at little groups of people and makes light conversation while getting to know the guests. Dinner is a buffet and that’s just as well. They have paper plates for anyone who would like to take their dinner out on the lawn or even up to their room. Tessa chooses the latter and puts a nice assortment of food on her plate, grabs a napkin and utensils, one more drink, and heads for her room. She sees Scott separating himself from a group and she quickens her step so she doesn’t have to talk to him out on the patio in front of everyone. 

She makes it all the way to the elevator as Scott comes in the patio door and she looks up at the ceiling as he tries to get to the doors before they close. Tess knows he’ll take the stairs so she moves quickly and gets into her room and locks the door.

She hears the familiar knock on the door and at first ignores it, but when he knocks again she makes her way over to the door and opens it with the chain still on. He looks at her like wtf? 

She explains that it wouldn’t look right to have him in her bedroom when he’s here with his girlfriend. “So what can I do for you Scott?” He certainly doesn’t want to have this conversation out in the hallway. “I thought we could talk,” he says. “No,” she replies, “Not tonight.” “You know me, I need my travel day sleep, or at least you used to know me.” “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

She even was tempted to ask him if she needed to wait for him to leave, but even though he continually hurts her, she couldn’t do that to him.

In the morning Tessa takes her time and doesn’t go down to breakfast too early. When she gets there everyone is excited to start the day and her disposition starts to perk up. The organizers split the groups up so that everyone gets a chance to be with all of the celebrity guests, and that works out just fine with her. That means that, essentially, her days will be spent without Scott and his girlfriend, and that works out just fine for her.

She helps herself to some juice and fruit with yogurt and then makes her way to a nearby table. She sees Scott watching her and changes her mind and stops at a guest table with an empty chair and asks them if they mind if she joins them. They are thrilled. And she has a great time. 

She finds out that half of them are spending the day with her and they all seem like a really great group. She leaves to go to her room and get ready to meet her group and she sees Scott making straight for her. It’s inevitable that they meet and so she plasters a big smile on her face as she greets him but keeps walking at a quick pace so they are not on display in the main room. 

“What’s up Scott?” she says with a smile. “Looks like this is going to be a great trip.” 

Obviously this wasn’t the comment Scott was expecting, and he is temporarily caught off guard and speechless.

She continues as she keeps moving closer to the elevator. “I hope you all have a great day.” And she gets into the elevator with a small group of guests, and the doors close, almost in his face. Tessa discreetly places her hand on her stomach and wills herself not to be sick as she smiles and feels her breakfast making it’s way up to her throat. The ride is a short one, and she gets off and makes it to the washroom in her room, before being sick. She cleans herself up, and takes a deep breath and makes her way down to her group for the day.

As the days go by Tessa finds that she’s actually having a great time. People seem to realize that, since Scott has brought his girlfriend, it only makes sense that Tessa doesn’t want to be a third wheel in her friends relationship and they actually respect that and make a bit of a cocoon around her while still having fun with Scott. No one seems to notice that Scott has become a little brasher, and a little more attention grabbing. Wanting to show everyone that he’s living his best life. Even his girlfriend is having to tell him tone it down a bit, to which he snaps at her that he’s just having fun, does she have a problem with that?

They manage to co-exist, that is until one evening late in the trip when there is an opportunity for guests to ask the celebrity guests questions. It’s getting late in the evening and everyone has been partying pretty well. Especially Scott. 

They manage, for their questions, to stay to script pretty much, and then attention seems to change to Jim Cuddy and his sons, which pleases Tessa. She hopes this part is almost over, but no.

Suddenly there is a question to Scott about bringing his girlfriend along on the trip. Is that difficult for your partnership, and your girlfriend? Scott starts wringing his hands rapidly and Tessa starts to worry.

“No,” he says, “Tess and I have never been a romantic couple, but as far as bringing my girlfriend, Tessa made a conscious decision not to bring her boyfriend, so I imagine she’s fine with the fact that I do want to have my girlfriend here with me.” 

Scott doesn’t look at her. He stares directly into the audience and he can see he’s caused a big stir. He is sitting close enough to Tess that he can feel her body stiffen up and he knows he has definitely gone too far. His girlfriend is just beaming.

Tess can feel the interest peak in the guests as they start to clamour for answers to questions about her love interest. Some are smiling and obviously happy for her. Someone speaks up and asks Tessa about the doctor she was in the news with. “Is that your boyfriend Tessa?”

Tessa feels her face turning red and she doesn’t dare look at Scott, but gives them her 100-watt smile and tells them that Scott is ‘over reaching’ by saying she has a boyfriend. 

“I love to go out and meet new people but I am not in a committed relationship yet, no matter how much Scott wishes I were.” She laughs, and the audience smile and take that as Scott just wanting the best for his friend.

 

The questions end and everyone makes way for the musical part of the night. People come up to Tess and tell her how nice it must be to have a partner who just wants her to be happy. She smiles and as soon as she can, makes her way to the bar. There’s a table set up near the exit with bottles of wine and glasses and Tessa grabs a bottle and a glass and makes her way to the stairs and goes straight up to her room. 

What a fucking asshole.

She’s given herself to everyone this whole trip, and tonight she is shutting down.

She runs a bath, undresses and gets into the bathtub, reaches for her glass of wine and leans back. She had put on a moody playlist and, aided by the wine, just wants the world and especially Scott, to go fuck themselves.

After a long soak, and a couple glasses of wine, she prepares to get out of the tub and hears a familiar knock on the door. She pulls on her robe and it hangs sloppily off of her shoulder as she loosely ties it around her waist and grabs her glass and heads to the door.

“Fuck off Scott” she says through the door.

And she turns and walks slowly back toward her bed, knowing she’s had way too much to drink and that she’s going to feel it tomorrow. Suddenly she hears her door open and Scott steps into her room. “What the hell? How did you get my key?”

“We always get each other’s key,” he says quietly as he walks over to her and takes her in. She has her hair messy on top of her head and the ends are wet from her bath. Her robe has tumbled off of her shoulder, her body is wet and her breast is exposed. He’s torn between covering her up and reaching out to touch her. He feels himself getting aroused. She puts her glass on the bedside table and grabs the card from his hand and pulls her arm back and her robe falls open. “Well, lets put an end to that little tradition right now!” she says and throws the card across the room. “Now get out!”

He can’t help but stare and she gathers her robe back around and covers up.

They’ve had too much to drink and they both know they shouldn’t be here in this room alone. 

Scott, steps forward, grabs her to him and holds her tight as she smells the whiskey on his breath and she struggles as she feels him pressing against her as he pulls her in.

“I’m so sorry for saying you have a boyfriend T,” he whispers huskily in her ear, but I just can’t get the sound of him fucking you out of my head!”

She gasps and pushes him away from her and reaches back and slaps him hard right across the face. 

He’s stunned. 

Her eyes are bright and filled with anger, hurt and tears as she glares at him and tells him to get the fuck out of her room. She shoves him aggressively toward the door, pulls it open and watches as his girlfriend tumbles into the room. 

“You two deserve each other,” Tessa says as she shoves them out the door and slams it after them.


	14. One Trip Down, Two to More to Go..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Mallorca trip coming to an end Tessa just doesn't even want to think about what the upcoming trips will be like. She accepts that Scott will bring his girlfriend, but accepting it and dealing with it are two different things.

Coming down for breakfast in the morning Tessa is trying, not very successfully, to rid herself of her ‘hangover headache.” By the look of the room she’s not the only one. Everyone seems to be having a pretty quiet breakfast and are content to get some food and coffee into themselves. 

Most of the group believe that Tessa was the only smart one because they think she went to bed early without drinking. She not about to disabuse them of that thought either. She sees Scott and his girlfriend enter the room and recognizes her “handiwork” on his cheek. She sees him regaling everyone with some explanation and everyone, including his girlfriend, has a great laugh about the whole thing. Tessa isn’t proud of the fact that she slapped him, but she was so appalled at how he had spoken to her after all he has put her through, and forced her to endure as he carries on with his girlfriend, that her emotions took over.

Tessa puts on her sunglasses and walks out on the patio with her coffee and joins one of the older couples that have been in her group a couple of times, and they settle in for some friendly conversation. She’s happy that she’s able to feel so comfortable around them. Gary gets up to get another cup of coffee and asks the ladies if they would like anything from the buffet. Gail, his wife, asks for a small juice please, while Tess politely declines.

“So,” Gail begins, “How are you enjoying this trip?” 

Tessa looks at her, and is glad to have her sunglasses on, because she’s sure Gail would be able to read her thoughts otherwise. “Great!” she says. “I love Spain, and everyone on the trip is so nice.” 

“Yes, they are,” Gail, says. And just takes in Tessa making her feel very vulnerable. “You know,” she continues, “anytime you need a friend, a table to sit at, or a shoulder to cry on, Gary and I are here for you.”

Tessa goes to tell her that she’s fine but Gail stops her. “You don’t owe me any explanation,” she says, “but I know what I see, and I see someone with a broken spirit, if not a broken heart.” She reaches out and pats Tessa’s hand on the table and smiles at her. “None of us seem to be able to get through this life without having our heart broken at one time or another Tess, but we don’t have to suffer alone, remember that.” 

By this time Gary is back and making them laugh at a joke one of the men at the buffet told him. Tessa thanks them for the company and gets up from the table, but not before reaching over and squeezing Gail’s hand and smiling at her.

Tess goes to the lobby restroom, steps into a cubicle and then hears two of the younger guests come in and start gossiping about Scott’s cheek. One of them laughs and says that it’s a pretty rich story that he fell out of bed and hit his cheek on the bedside table. She continues that someone else this morning said that they could hear him and his girlfriend arguing into the wee hours of the morning, and if that isn’t a slap mark I don’t know what is she says. 

Tessa can’t move. She’s glad the stalls go all the way to the floor and they don’t appear to give a thought to the fact that someone might be in there with them. She actually holds her breath. “No one knows what they were arguing about,” the girl continues, but Scott’s girlfriend told me yesterday that Tessa is so clingy around Scott and threatens to end their skating career if he doesn’t do everything she wants him to.”

“I don’t know about that,” the other girl countered. “I’ve been in Tessa’s group a couple of times, and she seems really sweet.” “She’s driven for sure, but Scott seems to bring more of his problems on himself.” “I still think bringing his girlfriend to the Walk of Fame was one of the most hurtful things he could ever have done.” “He made her the punch line of a joke on one of the most important nights of their career.”

Tessa feels the tears pooling in her eyes as she thinks back to that day and they spill down her cheeks. 

 

They seem to be finished talking and declare that they better head out before everyone leaves without them! They have a laugh and Tessa hears the door close behind them. She waits for a few minutes and them steps out, washes her hands and repairs her make-up.  
She glances at the chair by the sink and sees a small knapsack hanging off of the back. 

Before she can decide what to do, a young woman steps into the room and stops cold. There’s no mistaking that she was one of the girls who just exited and she now definitely knows Tessa heard them gossiping. 

Her face turns red as she picks up her knapsack, turns and says, “Tessa, I….” But Tessa stops her with a smile and says, “I hope you have a great day today on your bike trip, the weather looks to be perfect for it!”  
The girl looks at her gratefully and says softly, “Thank you Tessa” as she lowers her eyes and leaves the room. 

Tess recognizes her voice as the person who stood up for her…so there’s that she thinks, as she takes a deep breath, and steels herself for whatever the day might bring, before leaving the restroom.

Tessa steps out into the main hall and makes her way quickly across the room to her group. By now they’re all starting to get to know each other pretty good and they really have been a fun group. Tess sees Scott across the room with his riding gear on and also sees the girls from the restroom in his group. She can’t be sure, but the lack of interest in her from them implies to her that the girl, Sarah she thinks, who came back for her knapsack hasn’t said that Tessa overheard them. 

It would be nice if that were true, but Tess has learned over the years from dealing with gossip that, while it’s nice to hope for the best, it’s always a good idea to be prepared for the worst.

Both groups spend, what appears to be, a great day out. The weather on this trip has been a little cool, but overall wonderful, and everyone is tired, but happy. The trip is winding down and tomorrow will be a travel day so everyone is prepared to try to get to bed early, as the day tomorrow will be a long one. Tessa makes sure she sticks around for the dinner, and the music and then tries to speak to all of the guests in case she doesn’t get to talk to them tomorrow. 

Sarah, the girl from the restroom gives her a hug and tells her it was great to meet her. She hesitates and then looks Tessa straight in the eye and then says she’s sorry for causing her embarrassment. She does respect Tessa and knows that this trip has been difficult and she’s sad that she contributed to that. Tessa squeezes her hand and tells her not to worry, but that she appreciates the apology. Sarah smiles at her and wishes her a goodnight. 

She sees Gary and Gail and makes her way toward them as her last stop of the night. They both were in her group today and they greet her with a big hug and tell her that she made their trip perfect! Gail gives her their address in Vancouver and tells her that she is always welcome at their home. Tessa thanks her and feels tears welling in her eyes. “Don’t forget…I follow you on Instagram!” “WestCoastMama1,” she says…and Tessa laughs and tells her she’ll watch for her posts and she turns to go to her room.

The diehards are still in the bar, and Scott is regaling them with some story or another and their eyes lock and she quickly turns away and heads for the stairs and up to her room. He doesn’t follow her. She’s not surprised.

Earlier in the day they all posed for pictures as a memento of the trip and when the celebrities posed for their picture Scott, for the first time, stands beside Tessa and puts his arm around her. Watching from behind the photographer is Scott’s girlfriend, ready to be at his side the minute the photos are over. Tessa doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. 

She’s not sure if his girlfriend is coming on their next two trips, Newfoundland and Japan, but she’s going to assume she is. Would she ask Ryan to come with her? No, she wouldn’t. She would love to have the company, someone to hold, someone to make love to and feel desired by, but she’s not going to use him to get even with Scott.

She isn’t in the loop, but she assumes that Scott and his girlfriend will be on another flight to Tampa, and she’ll be headed to Canada, and she’s right at least in the fact that they’re not on her flight. They don’t even say good-bye to each other. Scott is already gone by the time she gets up. 

 

This is a whole new world for Tessa after all of the time they spent together during their run up to the Olympics. She knew their lives would change, she just never realized just how it would feel. The emptiness that would overwhelm her, even though she has kept herself busy, it doesn’t fill the void left by Scott not being by her side. They certainly have had their issues over the years with outside relationships, but she never thought it would come to this. Them not even speaking to each other, not saying goodbye.

Tessa ends up on her flight alone and she has to make a couple of stopovers. The time change she knows is going to be tough and then in a week they will be on Newfoundland time. Not quite as severe, but then they’re off to Japan. Is she getting too old for this? Well, she thinks she better stop thinking about this and gets some sleep so she can start all over again.

They land and Tessa gathers her carry on and jacket to deplane and joins the slow moving passengers walking a bit like zombies at the current time of 3 am. She yawns and gives herself a shake as she steps into the terminal and senses some sort of excitement taking place in the lounge.

She sees what appears to be, a busker standing at the exit of the plane entertaining all of the crowd and the amazing thing is that he’s singing ‘Maneater’ by Hall and Oats in the wee hours of the morning in an airport lounge and she has to laugh. What are the chances of that? She thinks with a smile.

(Oh, Oh, here she comes)  
Watch out boy she'll chew you up  
(Oh here she comes)  
She's a maneater

I wouldn't if I were you  
I know what she can do  
She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart  
Mind over matter  
Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

(Oh, Oh, here she comes)  
Watch out boy she'll chew you up  
(Oh here she comes)  
She's a maneater

Evidently the chances are slim to none that it’s a coincidence.

The crowd starts to disperse, their mood temporarily lightened and Tessa actually sees the busker and the smile slides from her face when she sees that he has an envelope hanging around his neck with “TUTU” written across it. 

She looks around the lounge and doesn’t see anyone paying any special attention to her except, of course, the busker.

She walks over to him and says, “I imagine this is for me?”

He smiles at her and holds the envelope against his chest, the universal sign for, ‘once I get a tip it is.’ And Tessa opens her purse and hands him a twenty-dollar bill and he smiles and hands over the envelope to her. “Here ya go Gorgeous!” and he gathers his equipment and starts out of the lounge into the night.

Tessa heads over to get her luggage and opens the envelope and reads the note inside. 

Of course she already knew who it was from, it’s the how, and why that is confusing her.

 

Scott and his girlfriend spend a very uncomfortable last two days in Mallorca, especially after the confrontation in Tessa’s room. He knows he was in the wrong, and he shouldn’t have spoken out about her personal life during the question period. It’s just that everyone is mad at him or blaming him for moving on with his life, but he doesn’t feel he has any choice. He and Tess are moving further away from each other with each day. He hates it, but he doesn’t know how to stop it. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, but when she wouldn’t let him in, he used the extra key. Yes, he always gets her key, when he can. No, she doesn’t always know, but the reason in the beginning was safety, and he tells himself that’s why he continues to do it. 

Seeing her so beautiful and vulnerable took his breath away. She just doesn’t know what she does to him. Wanting to touch her, kiss her, make love to her, takes his mind back to her being with Ryan and it consumes him. 

He takes her in his arms and whispers in her ear in language that makes it sound like what she and Ryan did was dirty and he really doesn’t blame her for slapping him, but it shocked him to the core. The look in her eyes was the closest to hate he’s ever seen from her. And hurt. He can’t forget the hurt in her eyes. And then to find out that his girlfriend is standing outside the door listening completely capped off an already terrible evening. 

They went back to their room and she just kept at him trying to find out why he went to Tessa’s room and more importantly, what he did to cause her to slap him.

He tells her he went to tell Tessa that he was sorry, and she didn’t accept his apology. End of story. She doesn’t accept this version of events and tells him so. She asks if he made a pass at her and she slapped him. He sighs and tells her no. She slapped him for something he said, not something he did. 

“What?” she asks, “I think I have a right to know.”

“Well, you can think what you like,” he says with an angry look on his face. “But, it doesn’t concern you and is actually none of your business.” “I don’t tell Tess what you and I talk about, and I’m certainly not going to discuss with you what T and I say.”

“Do you actually hear yourself Scott?” she yells at him. “You’re talking like you have two girlfriends and they are both entitled to the same loyalty.” 

“You have one girlfriend…me!” “You can’t continue to treat me as if I’m not number one in your life, it’s not right.” “She’s your work partner, not your life partner.”

“You know she’s more than my work partner, you knew that when we started dating.” “I can’t help how I feel about her, and I can’t explain it anymore now than I could then.” 

“You trying to drive a wedge between Tessa and I hurts more than it helps.” “he says, "I’m not trying to pit you against each other, but you aren’t happy unless I stay completely away from her, and I just can’t do that.” “Can’t you understand what that does to me?”

“I understand it as much as you understand what your love for her does to me.” She says quietly as she grabs her robe and goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The next day is pretty awkward. He makes up a story about drinking too much and falling out of bed but he’s pretty sure no one is buying it. Most think his girlfriend slapped him, and she seems to be all right with that rather than anyone thinking that it was Tessa that hit him. To her that would be the ultimate insult, letting everyone know that he was with Tessa in her room and he did something that would cause her to slap him. Like she wasn’t enough for him so he ran to Tessa.

The early morning trip to the airport is spent in silence. She doesn’t have anything to say to him. He refuses to tell her what happened in the room and she views this as a type of betrayal, picking Tessa over her. When they get to the airport Scott goes to the counter and enquires about changing his ticket for one to Toronto and after a bit of wrangling and more money being exchanged he manages to get a first class direct flight. He walks her to her flight and she just glares at him. 

 

“I’m sorry, he says, “But I’m not spending the next few days arguing with you.” “You’re mad, I get it, but I don’t think it does either of us any good to spend what little time we have being mad at each other.” “We’ll talk in a day or so,” he says as he leans in to kiss her on the cheek and she moves away from him and starts to board. She gets to the door and looks back and all she can see is the back of his head as he hurries to get to his flight. He doesn’t even look back. She puts her head down so no one can see her tears and continues onto the plane.

**************

Tessa looks up after reading the note and sighs. She makes her way quickly through customs and looks around the terminal. She grabs her bag and slips her carry on over the handle and starts through the airport stopping in front of the designated bar and steps through the door. She sees him immediately, which is pretty easy because he’s the only person slumped over the bar with an untouched cup of coffee in front of him.

“Tessa?” she hears a female voice and turns to the bar. It’s the bartender and she makes her way over to her. “I’m Amy, sorry to get you here like this.” She continues, “I tried to convince him it wasn’t a smart idea to do this to you, but he wouldn’t listen.” “He had it all planned out, and then he settled in to drink.” She explains that she didn’t serve him all of this liquor…everyone in the place was buying him a drink and she had a difficult time trying to police him. She’s sorry.

“It’s certainly not your fault Amy,” Tessa offers. “I’ll get him out of your hair.” She says and smiles.

“How was Dave’s performance?” Amy asks with a smile.

Tessa laughs and tells her Dave did his job admirably. 

“How much money did he get out of you?” She asks.

“Twenty dollars” Tessa says with a laugh.

“You got off easy,” she says, “Likely because you’re stunning!”

Tessa laughs and tells her she certainly doesn’t feel stunning. She next asks her if Scott has a tab and Amy replies no, that he settled his bill before he fell asleep. 

Tessa thanks her and walks over to Scott and gives him a gentle shake and whispers something into his ear and he turns to her and reaches out and takes her in his arms. “TuTu, I knew you’d come.” “Some people said you wouldn’t,” he says as he gives Amy a dirty look and she smiles. “I said she shouldn’t come.” Amy defends herself with a laugh and then asks Tessa if she’ll be able to manage to get him to the car, and she says yes, but thanks. They make their way to the door with Scott trying to carry his own luggage and wrestle hers from her. 

 

Amy steps to the door and waves down a motorized valet, explains the situation and asks if he can help Tessa out. He smiles and gets Scott and Tessa’s luggage, and Scott, into the cart and drives them out to their parking lot. 

Tessa tips him generously and he gratefully accepts with thanks and even helps her get Scott into her car and waves goodbye. Money well spent Tessa thinks.


	15. Another Year, Another Decade, A New Beginning..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just another birthday for Tessa, but she's ready for her 30's and she's not afraid to celebrate them!

Tessa glances over at him during the drive to his house from the airport. What is it about this guy that has her so captivated? He can be such a jerk, and most of the time it’s to her. She sighs. Traffic is light so the trip is a reasonably quick one. When they get to Scott’s house Tessa is determined not to have to rummage around in his pockets to find his keys. She remembers that he has a key hidden under a rock around the corner of the house so she quickly retrieves it and gets his luggage out of the car and runs it up and unlocks the door. 

Just to be sure, Tessa takes a quick run around inside the house to make sure Scott’s girlfriend isn’t actually here waiting for him. The house, thankfully, is empty. She heads back outside and proceeds to try and get Scott awake enough to get him in the house and up to bed. 

She figures she could leave him on the couch, but once they get going they just continue up to his bedroom. She leans him against the bureau and takes off his jacket while he manages to kick off his shoes without falling flat on his face. It’s almost like he is sleep walking. She can smell the alcohol on him and imagines he’ll be asleep again in seconds. She watches as he struggles taking off his socks leaning against the wall, then pulls his shirt off and throws it across the room and slumps, exhausted, back against the wall. 

She glances at him to make sure he’s not going to fall, then goes over to the bed and turns on the small light on the bedside table to shed a little light in the dark room. 

At this point she really doesn’t want him to wake up completely. She pulls back the covers for him to lie down when she hears a commotion and thinks he’s fallen. 

She quickly turns around and he’s standing there, completely naked, as he stomps his pants off his feet with his eyes still closed. She tries, a bit unsuccessfully, to keep her eyes averted and not laugh, as she directs him over to the bed and he lies down and she quickly covers him with the blankets and he relaxes with a sigh. She looks at him and all the good memories over the years come flooding back.

Oh Scott, she thinks, does it always have to be like this? She caresses his hair off his forehead and even dares to kiss him lightly on the lips. He doesn’t open his eyes but he does raise his eyebrows and that reaction almost makes her laugh out loud. She reaches in and turns out the light and suddenly he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her on top of him. She feels him pressing against her and she closes her eyes. He hovers around her mouth and she resists the urge to lean into him because she wants it to be his move. 

“I knew you’d come Tutu, I knew you would.” He squeezes her tighter and speaks almost directly into her mouth. She relaxes and tries to will him to kiss her. 

“Oh babe,” he moans and kisses her cheek and slides her gently off of him and pulls her into his side with his arm around her.

Disappointed, Tessa asks him, “Why did you come back home Scott, I thought you were going to Florida?” 

“To see you.” He says like it’s obvious. “She can’t understand what you mean to me.” “Nobody does,” he says. ”Nobody understands us.”

“What don’t they understand?” Tessa asks tentatively. 

“They think we have sex.” “They don’t understand why we can’t ever.” He says softly.

Tessa’s stunned. She’s scared to ask, but she just has to. “Why can’t we Scott?” she whispers to him. 

“Because I lose everyone I sleep with." "And I can’t lose you T, I can’t, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You wouldn’t have to lose me Scott.” She says softly.

“Oh I would, cause you’re too good for me T, everybody knows that,“ he says as he kisses her forehead, ”I can’t lose you, I need you.” 

He pulls her closer and she feels the heat of his breath on her cheek and smells the sweetness of the whiskey as he whispers huskily, “You know I love you more than anyone, right?” 

“I know.” She whispers to him as the tears spill down her cheeks.

He falls asleep quickly and she climbs carefully off the bed and she hears him whisper her name as he tells her again he loves her. She shuts off all of the lights, locks the door and puts the key back to its hiding place and heads for home. Her emotions are in tatters. She’s sure she just heard the most relevant reason of all why she and Scott will never be a couple. If Scott believes that he can’t be in a relationship with Tessa, he’s stubborn enough to stick to his guns. 

He’ll be married long before he ever figures out that they could have made a life together. She knows him. It’s much easier to tell himself that he’s doing the right thing for both of them while he still has a girlfriend. He has someone to hold that loves him and he’s making a life with her.

Tessa is too lonely to keep loving someone she can’t have. She wants to share her life with someone, feel desired, and loved but that someone is obviously not going to be Scott. Her professional life is thriving, but now she really feels its time to move on with her emotional life.

 

Maybe they could still remain friends, but she really doesn’t hold out much hope that they will ever be as close as they were. She’s a realist, Scott has this vision that he’ll marry and he and Tessa with still be the best of friends. But that’s not how life works. 

Wives and husbands don’t like their spouse having a best friend of the opposite sex, especially one who might have been intimate with them. Scott’s right about one thing, no one believes they haven’t had sex, and that will always taint any relationship they might have had with each other in the future. They did their job too well she thinks. 

She pulls into her driveway and grabs her luggage out of the car. The sun is rising and its then she realizes it’s her birthday. She turns her face to the sky and takes a deep breath, smiles and walks into her house to prepare to greet the day.

This birthday is a big one for Tess and one she’s not afraid to face. She knows she’s accomplished a lot in these 30 years and she’s proud of all she’s done...so far.

She tries to catch up on all of the chores that she has neglected while she has been away, but it’s difficult because she’ll be leaving again shortly. She is getting together with her family to celebrate, and then with some friends, which she knows will be a lot of fun. Scott tweeted out his birthday wishes, which was sweet, but she had hoped to hear from him personally. 

If you know Scott, social media is the least popular method for him to communicate, so a tweet, while sweet, doesn’t mean as much as him taking the time to actually call her. He might still call, but at least he remembered, so she guesses, that counts for something.

Ryan, who she didn’t even think knew it was her birthday, sent her a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a sweet, handwritten message asking her out for dinner. 

She loves cards, and upon opening this one a piece of string fell out, she laughs as she reads “No strings attached, just want to wish a beautiful friend the happiest of birthdays over a fancy dinner” is the message he sent her. She phones him and thanks him for the gorgeous flowers and accepts his dinner invitation for tomorrow night. All in all it was a great way to usher in the next chapter of her life. A new beginning.

Tessa and Ryan have a wonderful dinner and not a heart attack in sight, which was great! They celebrated at a popular Toronto restaurant, and as luck would have it, Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner were there and helped serenade Tessa with Happy Birthday along with Ryan and basically the entire restaurant! Of course it was all over social media, but she didn’t care. Ryan was beaming as he watched her laughing and thanking everyone. 

 

Scott realizes that a Happy Birthday tweet from your partner of 21 years pales in comparison as he watches the videos on Instagram of Tess having fun at some restaurant. 

He can tell she’s legitimately having a great time. The laughs are genuine, and everyone there with her is happy for her. He knows he’s let her down but he’s always afraid of showing her too much attention these days because he has a girlfriend. Everybody has an opinion and weighs in on every touch or smile, his girlfriend included.

 

The fact that Tess is with Ryan also doesn’t escape Scott’s notice for sure. Or, his girlfriend’s for that matter. 

“She made such a big deal that you said Ryan was her boyfriend and now she’s all over the place with him!” She rants to him over the phone, “she just always finds fault with you so she has something to complain about.”

He doesn’t engage with her, or tell her it’s not the same thing. It was the fact that he let her down that was the hurtful thing. When he called Ryan her boyfriend that gave legitimacy to the story and took the narrative out of her hands. That’s something she has never done to him although she’s had many more opportunities to do so. 

They always had each other’s back and could count on the other not to speak out of turn no matter how they felt about a situation, and he let her down badly.  
All the bullshit he spouted about them being great friends is just that. Bullshit. He can’t even be around her now without worrying if he’s holding her too close, hugging her too tight, looking at her too much. It’s becoming overwhelming for him and he worries about having another panic attack. He keeps his distance as much as he can but that only makes things worse. How will he be able to manage still being around her? He really doesn’t know how to please everyone. But he does know that he has to find a way to cope. 

He needs her. He’ll always need her.

 

Meanwhile, Ryan brings Tess home and they stand in her doorway making out a bit and whispering in each other’s ears. Tessa unlocks the door and turns to him. “I haven’t made any decisions yet Ryan, so if this is too much for you now I’ll understand if you want to leave.” “This isn’t a commitment, it’s just that, I think you’re great, and I’d love to spend some time with you.” “But if that’s too much, I understand.”

He answers her by lifting her up off her feet and kissing her deeply. He doesn’t care what her motivation is, he just wants to be with her, make love to her, and hold her close. 

Well, she’s game for that and she pulls him in tight and laughs when he swings her up into his arms, and kicks the door closed as Tessa, laughingly, points the way to her bedroom.  
The next morning Tess and Ryan settle in for coffee and bagels that Tessa had picked up the day before. They smile at each other and dig in to their breakfast. Ryan lets Tess know that he has meeting in an hour, but he really doesn’t want to leave. He just can’t get enough of her, and wishes this morning wouldn’t have to end. Tessa feels the same. They had a wonderful night together and now they are just enjoying each other’s company. And, best of all, it just feels right.

 

He knows she leaves in 3 days for Newfoundland and he doesn’t want to press her about seeing her again, but he does really want to see her before she goes. 

Tessa suggests to Ryan that they meet up again before she has to leave and he readily agrees. Not sure what they want to do, they decide to give it some thought and touch base later in the day. They kiss passionately at the door and then he gets in his car to leave for the hospital. 

Tessa knows that this man is someone that she could invest in, spend her life with, love. She knows it might not be the love she feels for Scott, but love nonetheless. She wouldn’t cheat Ryan by making him feel she settled and didn’t love him. She feels she’s made up her mind and wants to give them a legitimate chance. She also knows that, regardless, she wouldn’t have been going to doctors without borders with him this year anyway. Maybe next year if he goes, but her obligations with Scott would take precedence over anything else this year. She smiles as she waves to him and closes the door.

 

Scott finishes his coffee as he watches Ryan’s car pull out of Tessa’s driveway. Oh how he wishes he hadn’t kissed her at his parents, it just makes him want her more. But he really doesn’t know how he stopped himself from making love to her in his bed when she brought him home. Even drunk, Scott has trained himself so well in denial. Tessa is off limits. 

Turns out not just for him, but for everyone else too. 

He knows if anyone deserves happiness she does, but if can’t even accept her being with a great guy like Ryan, what does that say about him?

He takes a sip from the second cup of coffee in the tray, grabs another ‘Happy Birthday’ cookie from the box on the seat and slowly pulls away from the curb heading home. 

He absolutely knows he really can’t bear to see her now, glowing with happiness, after spending the night with Ryan. 

And that makes him feel even worse.


	16. Danny accepts the writing on the wall...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It poured here this morning and I got into my emotions..

Alma and Joe are having the boys and their families over for dinner before Scott has to leave again for Newfoundland and Japan. Danny stops by early and he and Scott grab a beer and head out to the backyard and a game of washers ensues. Scott knows that Danny will have questions about what’s going on in Scott’s life, like any older brother would, but he also knows that Danny isn’t only wondering about Scott’s life, he also has concerns about Tessa.

“When do you leave for Newfoundland,” Danny asks knowing that Scott has the next GKP tour to do before they leave for Japan. Scott is a little vague about all of the details because he’s really not sure what’s happening himself. “I think it starts on the 22nd,” he says. Danny gives him a look like “what?.” You don’t know what your travel plans are a couple of days before they’re a reality?

“I’ll know in enough time to get there.” Scott says, “I spend my life doing this stuff, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Danny says, “I just can’t believe you’re so nonchalet about it.”

“Well,” Scott says, “Welcome to my world.” “I worry about things when I have to, and not before.”

Danny knows Scott does live in a different world than he does, and he accepts that. What he doesn’t accept is the cavalier way that Scott deals with the events in his life, and he never will.

Yes, Danny knows his skating partner was his cousin, and that made a big difference, but he also knows that a certain amount of planning goes in to a tour and he knows Scott is not paying enough attention to this aspect of the trip.

He’s not the best one to be lecturing Scott on what he should be doing, especially since he cares about Tessa and hates how Scott treats her. He realizes this but still can’t help but weigh in.

“What’s happening as far as the trips are concerned, is your girlfriend going on these next two” Danny asks knowing that she attended the trip to Mallorca and he wonders if she’s going to be on all future trips. Scott is not offering any details, so he either doesn’t know yet, or he doesn’t want to say, either way it pisses Danny off. 

“Not quite sure right now.” Scott says, “Just waiting to see how things pan out.”

Fuck you, Danny thinks. You’re just waiting to see if your girlfriend can get the time off. 

“What is all this “I don’t know” bullshit?” Danny asks. “Are you ever going to grow up and live in the real world? 

“What the hell?” Scott says. “Why are you so pissed off?” “This has nothing to do with you.” “If I thought you were just interested in what’s going on in my life that would be one thing, but you’re only interested in how this will affect Tess, so why don’t you go talk to her if you’re so fucking interested?”

“Fine!” Danny says and turns around and leaves Scott standing with his mouth hanging open.

On the drive over Danny second guesses himself and wonders if he’s being rash just dropping in, unannounced, on Tessa to see how she is, but he’s almost there now, so he continues on. Besides, he has a little birthday gift for her and who knows when he’ll get a chance to see her next.

He pulls into her driveway and her car is there, so he gets up to the door and almost doesn’t knock, but decides what the hell? Tess answers after the first knock and almost bowls him over pulling him into a big hug and kissing his cheek. 

“Oh my gawd,” she says, “I can’t believe you’re here!” “I was just thinking about you yesterday!” Danny is surprised at how excited she is, and frankly, pretty pleased. He’s always had a soft spot for Tessa in his heart and he always will. If only his brother could see what he has in front of him Danny would be happy.

 

“So why were you thinking about me?” he asks. 

“Well, Ryan was over and we were talking about ambitions when we were kids and where we thought we would be when we grew up and I was telling him that I had wanted to skate with Danny Moir when I grew up.” “That seems like a life time ago now.” She laughs.

Danny feels his heart swell as she talks about him and he loves her even more. He pulls a little box out of his pocket and hands it to her and she squeals with delight. “A present?” she says as she kisses his cheek. 

“It’s really nothing,” he says “But someone happened to mention that you had a big birthday a couple of days ago, so….”

“You shouldn’t have!” she says and pulls him in to the living room and ushers him to the couch. “What can I get you to drink?” “Well, I’ll take a beer if you have one, but I really can’t stay long, we’re having dinner at Mom and Dad’s tonight.”

She brings him a chilled mug of beer and she settles in beside him with a glass of white wine. She picks up the little box and opens it and her eyes fill with tears. She picks the heart shaped key fob out of the box and reads the inscription silently and turns to Danny with tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s perfect.” She says and kisses him and hugs him tight. “I love you Danny Moir,” she says, “Always have, always will.” Danny knows she’s just being sweet, but it means the world to him.

 

She looks at the key fob again and her eyes are sparkling. It’s engraved with a pair of mittens on one side with May 17, 2019 and on the other it says, “To my little sister ‘Big Hands’ Love, Danny.”

“I toyed with the idea of putting Happy 30th, but that’s nobody’s business, you could still pass for 20!” Tessa laughs and says she’s pretty sure she couldn’t, but it’s sweet of him to say so! She settles into his side and he wraps his arm around her and she holds up the heart and takes it in. It is the best present she received for her birthday, bar none. She can’t believe how she can be so open and candid with Danny and not with Scott. Maybe it’s because there’s so much more at stake with Scott. With Danny it’s just pure love, no angst, and that feels so right.

Danny asks her how things are going in her life and she tells him things are good. He says he knows Scott brought his girlfriend on the Spain trip and he wonders how that went. It wasn’t the best, Tessa replies, although she would never get into too many details about what went on. But, she says, they got past it and managed to be civil. Danny asks her if this will be the norm from now on and she tells him she thinks so. “I’ll just have to get used to it,” She says with a resignation that Danny wishes she didn’t have to have. 

Tessa then goes on to tell him about moving forward with Ryan. She knows he’s not going to be super happy about it, but that he will be happy for her. She explains that she can’t spend her life waiting to see if Scott will finally be willing to give them a chance. Ryan is a wonderful man, and she couldn’t ask for someone who would treat her better. She tells Danny she hopes he’ll be happy for them. Danny assures her that he is, but he can’t lie and say that he doesn’t wish that it were she and Scott moving forward with their lives. 

He asks her if that means an end to their skating and Tessa tells him that she’s just not sure. They certainly have obligations until the end of the year, but after that, who knows? Scott has been spending more and more time out of the country and the way things seem to be going, she wouldn’t be surprised if he announces soon that he’s getting married. Danny sees her eyes fill with tears and he just wants to take all her pain away, but he knows he can’t. Instead he pulls her in close and kisses the top of her head. He tells her that if he has to see her with anyone else, Ryan is the man he would pick for her. 

She smiles up at him and he thinks to himself that Ryan is one lucky man. 

On the drive back to his parents Danny feels miserable. He can’t believe that after all of these years that Scott and Tessa aren’t going to be together. It was always a bit of an unspoken thing in the family that, after all their competitive skating, they would see that they are at their best when they’re together. Danny still believes that’s true. It is especially true for Scott. No matter who Scott has dated, he always gravitates back to Tess. He counts on her to keep him steady. Her drive motivates him and just watching the way he holds her and watches out for her makes it seem like they were born to be together. 

He just can’t understand it. Scott is like two different people. One runs to another country to a girl he can live a carefree life under the radar with, and the other chases perfection in a country he loves and draws his strength from “best friend” and partner. Well, Danny thinks as he pulls into his parent’s driveway, Scott has made his decision, and now he can figure out a way to live with it.

Danny walks in the door and is greeted by his Mom saying that his timing is perfect they’re just putting dinner on the table. See looks at him and knows he’s upset about something. She quietly asks him how Tessa is and he tells her she’s good. Alma’s relieved to hear that, but now she knows it’s something to do with Scott and Tessa and that doesn’t make her feel better. She knows Danny is way too invested in their relationship, or more precisely, lack of relationship, but it’s too late to change anything about that now…Danny is in too deep. Nothing is going to change his mind about how he feels, she just hopes he holds his temper around Scott, at least for tonight.

Scott is on his third beer and is staring Danny down across the room but Danny won’t bite. He doesn’t even want to look at Scott, let alone sit down to dinner with him. Despite this, almost everyone else is oblivious to any tension and they are just enjoying another opportunity to be together as a family. Alma manoeuvres them to opposite ends of the table, and on the same side so they won’t have to look at each other.   
She thought those days were behind her now that they are adults, but evidently not. 

They make it through dinner without incident and then the conversation moves to Scott and his trips. Danny stays out of it while Scott regales them with stories about his bike trips and fun guests and has everyone laughing. Danny gets up and quietly makes his way outside, which is as far away from Scott as he can get without actually leaving and going home. He sits down in one of the Adirondack chairs, closes his eyes and leans his head back. 

He knows he can’t live Scott’s life for him, but he hates watching him self-destruct. When Scott and Tess were working toward the Olympics you couldn’t find a more disciplined pair of athletes anywhere. Together they did everything they could to win and now it’s difficult to watch them turning away from each other. Danny hopes he’s wrong, but he better get over his anger so he can actually be there for Scott when he realizes what he’s lost.

 

“So, did you see her?” Scott asks as he takes a seat in the chair beside him.

“What do you care?” Danny says, still keeping his eyes closed and his head back. “I’ll give you the advice you gave me, you worry about your own life and I’ll worry about mine.” “And before you start your routine, I know I have no idea about what your life is like, but you also have no idea what my, regular old life, is like.” 

“I guess I deserve that,” Scott says.

Scott says to Danny that it looked like she had a pretty good birthday. He saw a video on Instagram of her out for dinner and she looked pretty happy.

Danny opens his eyes and sits up. “Do you actually hear yourself Scott?” “Your partner of 21 years celebrates a big birthday and you’re tracking her on social media to see if she had a good day?” “How fucking ridiculous is that?” “I guess that means that you never even at least called her to wish her a happy birthday, right?” “Well that makes it pretty easy for me to wish her every happiness with Ryan.” 

That gets Scott’s attention. 

“That’s right Scott, your plan to drive Tess away has worked.” “Now you can run back to Florida and live your fucking life hiding out from everyone who supported you over the years.” “Is this some kind of a victory for you to win over the girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day all those years ago?” “Who gave up on you then, but seems to be all over you now that you’re an Olympic champion?”

“For fucks sakes Danny, she was only ten.”

“And Tessa was only seven when she committed to skating with you.” 

Danny sighs and stands up to leave, telling Scott he can’t believe he’s wasting his breath talking to him about this. 

“Now you can parade your girlfriend around in front of T and not feel guilty about it.” “Maybe that’s the real reason you needed validation from your ‘former partner’, because you’re both very much alike in the loyalty department.” 

“You truly do deserve each other.”

Scott’s head snaps around and he blurts out, “She told you about that?”

“Holy fuck,” Danny says. “What the hell are you talking about?” “She told me you all managed to make the week work.” “Obviously that wasn’t the truth.” “Forget it, I really don’t want to know what the fuck happened.” “You’ve got your wish Scott, I’m not going to speak to you about your relationship with Tess, or anyone else for that matter anymore.” “Go live your life and do whatever the fuck you want.” He says as he starts to leave, then he stops. 

“Have a safe trip to Newfoundland and Japan and I’ll see you when you get back.” He says.

Scott stands and Danny pulls him into a hug and hears an emotional Scott choke back a sob. He loves his little brother, honestly he does, but sometimes he makes it so hard to support what he does. 

 

Alma, the source of Scott’s emotional nature, chokes back a sob of her own as she sees her son’s hug in the backyard. She knows they love each other, but all three of them are stubborn, these two more so than Charlie who tends to be the peacemaker. 

Danny’s wife Tessa comes up beside her and sees the boys hugging and puts her arm around her mother in law and gives her a squeeze. “See, they worked it out,” she says with a smile. “No matter what, they’ll always be there for each other.’

Alma hopes she’s right, because she thinks they’re in for a rocky road ahead.


	17. The CFA's are arriving in Newfoundland...are they ready?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go on the Newfoundland trip and Tessa isn't quite sure what's in store for her but she's prepared herself for the possibility that she will be a third wheel again. We'll see.

It was time to leave for the Newfoundland trip and Scott finished up his packing and made his way to the airport. Tessa had already booked her flight because she didn’t have to wait around to see if someone could get the time off to come along. Being on his own for a flight isn’t something new to Scott, but it seems a little lonelier when he knows T is by herself on an earlier flight. He feels a little weird about the fact that they are almost through all the 2019 obligations that they have to fulfil. He’s approaching this with more than a little bit of apprehension, knowing he is, more likely than not, getting close to seeing the end of his partnership with Tessa after 22 years when RTR closes.

He leans back and thinks about his conversation with Danny and wonders what’s in store for him in the coming months. He can barely admit it, even to himself, that he’s scared. Sure it’s been fun to be in Florida and not really have to worry about people giving a shit about what he does or who he does it with. Wasn’t this exactly what he was working forward to? 

In comparison, quite a few people in Canada actually do give a shit about what he does, including his family and he still has a difficult time with that. Tess has made a career out of parlaying her fame into a potential future.

This trip is also going to be a little bit different, being there on his own after he has had his girlfriend on the last couple trips. It seems funny to say that because he has mostly been on his own throughout their career. Well, he reconsiders, that’s not actually true. Can he really say he’s been on his own? Tessa has been his partner through thick and thin and she’s never gotten the credit for sticking with him throughout all of these years. At least she didn’t get it from him. Everyone is mad that his girlfriend came along on some of the trips because that leaves Tess on her own. So, if he’s honest, she is actually the one who knows what it’s like, to be with so many people, but still be alone on these trips.

Everyone, on this trip, seems to be so much more relaxed because he doesn’t have his girlfriend with him. Is it his imagination, or was it him that made things more uncomfortable when he brought her?

Tessa settles into her room and really doesn’t give a thought to Scott bringing his girlfriend on the trip. She has decided to believe that she will be on every trip and that gives her the upper hand in that she never has to adapt her feelings to whether or not she comes. This way she is never disappointed. 

And surprisingly, on this trip, his girlfriend doesn’t come. Tess really can’t believe what a difference this has made for her. She has such a feeling of freedom that she always took for granted on their earlier travels when it was just her and Scott. It’s allowed her to enjoy each event they attend even more. If you had asked her she wouldn’t have believed it would make so much of a difference. 

But it does.

Before she left she was able to have a long talk with Ryan and when she told him that she wanted to give their relationship a chance she was overwhelmed by his reaction. He got very emotional and she worried that he might get ahead of himself. Her thought was to give them the freedom to get to know each other better and see where things go, and he thanked her. Actually thanked her. She can’t believe that this wonderful man, so well educated, brilliant and big hearted man actually believes she’s doing him a favour by saying she wants to date him. She’s a little in awe of him.

 

They have been texting back and forth since she left for Newfoundland. He knows that Scott’s girlfriend isn’t on this trip, and he really seems fine with it. Tessa believes that he just might be the one for her. She knows she will always love Scott. Always. But Ryan is one in a million. He makes her feel so special when she’s with him and when she’s not, he makes the effort to tell her that he misses her and can’t wait until he sees her again. She has never, ever, had that before in her life, and it feels wonderful.

The weather has been blustery, but the company and hospitality has been wonderful! Everyone is so down to earth and welcoming that the trip flies by and tomorrow they will be heading home. 

Ryan hasn’t been the only one texting. Scott has been receiving a steady stream of texts from his girlfriend. Pictures of her and her friends out on a boat for the weekend and how much fun they’re having. She hopes he’s having a good time too! He wishes he believed her. He sends her a heart emoji and shuts down his phone and goes back into the bar to join the singing.

They fly out after some tearful goodbyes. This has been such a fun trip, but they’re exhausted. Scott doesn’t have his car so Tessa, of course, offers him a ride home. Scott grabs their luggage and Tessa runs to the rest room before they set out. Scott tells her to give him her keys and he’ll go get the car and pick her up. She digs them out of her purse and sets off in a hurry laughing.

Scott sticks the keys in his pocket and starts out with their luggage. He finds her car and clicks the remote to open the trunk. They both have the same car, just different colours, from their sponsor. Scott hops in the car and goes to put the keys in the ignition and he sees it. 

Love Danny. Love Danny? He takes a closer look at the key fob and reads the inscription. He puts the keys in the ignition and starts the car and goes to pick up Tessa. She’s happy to let him drive and she hops into the passenger seat and they set off. 

Scott is strangely quiet and she wonders why. She asks if he had any difficulty finding the car and he says no. She pauses and then asks if he’d like to listen to the radio. He replies with a terse no and Tessa knows that tone and she stops talking. She doesn’t know what happened between her going to the restroom and him picking her up, but something sure did. 

It’s the longest drive from the airport ever. After a couple of attempts to speak to him she finally gives up. Scott pulls into his driveway and pops the trunk. He leans over and kisses her on the cheek, then jumps out to get his suitcase. He yells his thanks to her for the ride and runs up the steps and into the house. Tessa is actually still in the passenger seat stunned. What the fuck was that? What did she do? 

 

She gets out of the car and walks around to the driver’s side and pauses for a moment and looks up at the house before getting in the car. They just returned from a great trip and she thought they were the best they had been in quite a while. 

She gets inside the car and sits there for a moment and still can’t believe how he just treated her.

She backs out of the driveway and peels down the road for home. Scott steps away from the door after watching her drive away.

Thirty minutes later there’s a loud banging on his door and he’s in his room putting away his things and it startles him. It’s late, and he comes down the stairs cautiously, turns on the porch light and sees her framed in the window of his door. He hesitates; he can see she’s been crying. 

“Why Scott?” she says when he opens the door. “What the fuck gives you the right to treat me like shit and not even give me the slightest reason or clue as to what I’ve done? Well I’m telling you right now that I’m finished. I’m not putting up with this anymore. You act like a spoiled child and then do something rash to retaliate and I’m fed up with it. You go ahead and over react to whatever perceived slight you feel I’ve given you, but I will not let you treat me like this any longer.”

And on that note, she turns away, runs down the steps and gets back into her car and leaves. Scott stands at the door in shock. He calls out to her but she’s not having any of it. She pulls out so fast he’s actually worried about her. 

Yes he was pissed seeing the key fob from Danny, and stewed about it, but he wasn’t mad at Tessa. He knows it wasn’t her fault he was pissed. He grabs his coat and drives to her house. And waits. And waits. 

And finally goes home. He doesn’t have to guess where she is, and now he can go home and overthink it.

Tessa drove straight from Scott’s to Ryan’s. 

Guess she was the one who was going to do something rash. She knocks on his apartment door. He answers and is surprised, to see her. Her eyes are glassy and her mascara messy. He knows that obviously she’s been crying. “Are you alone?” Tessa asks. “Yes.” He replies. 

“Take me to bed please,” she whispers to him as he pulls her into his arms. He knows something has happened between her and Scott, but he doesn’t care. He loves her and wants her, so he doesn’t hesitate. He carries her back to his bed and slowly undresses her, caressing and rediscovering every little part of her body. He looks at her and sees all the hurt in her eyes. He asks her if she’s okay and she whispers back to him, “Love me.” 

And he hopes she knows he already does.

In the morning Scott stops by his parents and has breakfast with them. His Mom asks about Tessa and Scott says she’s fine. His mom knows that there’s something up. Danny stops by and Alma feels the tension immediately.

But not from Danny. He’s actually in a really good mood. 

“Hey Scott! Looks like you had a great time in Newfoundland!” 

“We did.” Scott says tersely. 

Danny hesitates a moment and then moves through the house and into the kitchen. His Mom is there and he asks her what’s up. “No idea,” she says. “I was hoping you knew what the problem was.”

 

“I have no fucking idea anymore with him” Danny says and takes his coffee outside. Charlie also stops by for a coffee and their Dad grabs his and joins them in the backyard. Danny really doesn’t know what to expect. He really doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and set Scott off again. He actually meant it when he told him he wasn’t going to try and run his life anymore. 

When Scott finally does come outside he gives Danny a stare that does it for Danny.

“What?” Danny says, “What the fuck is your problem.” 

Charlie’s caught off guard because it wasn’t aware of their last argument.

“What is it with you?” Scott says. “You have this perverse love for Tessa and you never let it go. You always have to “one up” me with her, always have to be the good guy. I’m sick to death of you always going behind my back to Tess and making me look bad.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Danny says incredulously. “I have never gone behind your back, I have always supported you in everything I have ever said to Tess. You’re the problem. You never come through. You always have somewhere else to be, or someone else to be with, so don’t try to lay this on me,” Danny says. “I have always stood up for you, always.”

“You’re married for fucks sake,” Scott says, “What right do you have to give Tess a gift that says you love her? You know we don’t exchange gifts, and you go ahead and give her a personal gift.”

“Are you serious? This is what you’re mad about?” Danny says incredulously. “My Tess helped me pick out this gift and helped me decide on the engraving. What the fuck right do you have to confront me about anything to do with my feelings for Tessa? None.” Danny yells at him. 

“Unlike you, I have never been afraid to say how I feel about her, ever, but leave it to you to make it sound tainted. You’ve never had a problem finding someone else and telling them you love them, just not Tess. You can’t even be loyal to someone who has loved you and stood by you her entire life.” Danny says as he goes back into the house.

Scott is steaming. He turns to Charlie and says, “Did you buy Tessa a birthday present?” “No,” Charlie replies.

“See?” Scott says, “Why would Danny?”

“Well, we did send her a card,” Charlie adds, “You know how much she likes getting handwritten cards in the mail,” he adds a little sheepishly as Scott stares at him. 

“It was a big birthday Scott,” he says pleading his case. He realizes now he just made matters worse. Scott turns and goes into the house and his Dad and Charlie follow him.

Danny and his Mom are back sitting at the table and Scott faces his Mom and says quietly, “So I guess I can safely assume that you also got Tess something for her birthday, right?” Alma’s eyes subconsciously glance over at the bookcase and Scott follows her sightline. A little thank you card has pride of place on the bookshelf with pictures of the grandchildren and their little homemade gifts. He walks over and opens the card.

‘Dear Alma and Joe, he reads to himself, you just can’t know what your thoughtfulness has meant to me. I will think of you both every time I wear this beautiful scarf, but most of all; I will always cherish the wonderful letter you included with it. I will always love you, and of course, all of the Moirs. You have always treated me like family and I hope, no matter where I am, that you know I’ll always feel the same.   
Love, your Tess xo’

“There are friends, there is family,   
and then there are friends that become family.”

 

Scott’s eyes fill with tears as he gently puts the card back where he found it. He tells his family he’s sorry, thanks his Mom for breakfast and says he thinks it’s time he went home.

His Mom stands up and opens her arms and he steps into them. She knows how he feels because she had a good cry when she read the card too. In fact they all did. 

“She’s saying good bye isn’t she Mom?” he whispers to her. 

“I’m afraid so Scott,” she whispers back, “I’m afraid so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to break away from the "real life" narrative in the story because, after all, it is fiction. I'm finding I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and it doesn't feel right. While I may throw in real life circumstances I''m going to just carry on with my story. Thanks!


	18. He loves me not, He loves me... Two different men, two different scenarios.  Tessa starts to move on with her life..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving forward and Tessa and Scott are adapting to live without each other. Or are they?

Their trip to Japan went smoothly and actually turned out to be a lot of fun. They got along great, and since they were both on their own, there wasn’t any awkwardness or hard feelings. It really was a nice change from what they had been going through in their travel lives lately. They did have to tippy toe around their personal lives a little bit, but that’s to be expected, and they still made it work.

Personally, Tessa has really enjoyed getting to know Ryan, his family and his friends. It’s such a different dynamic than what she is used to because he has a much smaller family than hers and the Moirs. In addition to all of his schooling, he spent most of his time, working or volunteering so his social circle is small but tight. He’s so nice he’s almost too good to be true Tessa thinks. As an only child Tess can’t imagine how lonely that must have been for him growing up. Ryan tells her he has lots of great memories of his grandparents taking him to museums, and parks and he says he really doesn’t feel he missed out on anything. “You don’t miss what you don’t know,” he explains. Neither of his parents had siblings, so the bond they have together is a strong one. He is adapting quickly though, and he does love getting together with Tessa’s big family. He’s also very close to his staff at the hospital and treats them like his family, and she can see they feel the same about him. 

He remembers birthdays and anniversaries and tries to make those days special for his staff. He does all of this with the help of his assistant Janey. He doesn’t know what he’d do without her. She’s 64 and like a second Mother to him. 

She keeps track of his patient appointments, those special dates of his family and friends, and so much more. She couldn’t be happier that he has finally someone special to share his life with now. When Tess first met Janey she was a little intimidated, but after only a few minutes they were laughing like old friends. She knows Janey’s approval means a lot to Ryan, and while they’re getting to know each other he’s leaning against his desk with a huge smile on his face.

 

So life is very good. Tessa can’t believe how happy she is. She is determined to give them an honest chance to make their relationship work.   
In a strange way it helps that Scott also seems to be happy, at least Tessa thinks he is. His girlfriend no longer goes on all their trips because she is confident in the knowledge that Tessa is in a serious relationship with Ryan. On the rare occasions that they are all together she is always trying to cultivate a friendly relationship with Ryan, though not with Tess, which isn’t surprising. This suits Tessa just fine. She doesn’t ask Ryan what she says to him because, in addition to not really wanting to know, she trusts him and knows he will keep their life private. 

Ryan would never say anything to undermine Tessa’s relationship with Scott. He knows he has a lot to lose, but he still just would never do it. He wants Tessa for his own, and he knows that he can’t fight the love T has for Scott, but he believes the love they share is enough to build their own strong relationship, and that’s what he’s concentrating on.

He never says anything to Tess, no matter how much it hurts him, when he sees her eyes drift to Scott when they’re all together at an event. Instead he wraps his arms around her and tells her he loves her, and when she looks up at him he can see the love reflected in her eyes, but sometimes it’s still difficult. He’s not perfect. Worse yet is the fact that he genuinely likes Scott. He respects their bond. But knowing, as he does, that they love each other in such an intense way, is sometimes difficult to manage. 

Watching Scott reach out to help Tess automatically or take her hand subconsciously means Ryan has to swallow his pride and try not be jealous. He knows that Tess has made a extra effort to make sure she puts space between herself and Scott when they are all together so that Ryan’s is the hand she holds or gets assistance from first, and he loves her for it.

Ryan ends up going on a trip with Doctors without Borders much earlier than he had intended. It was only for a month, just to see how he feels about committing to the project, and it was such an emotional experience. He and Tess stayed in touch the entire time and she was the one thing that helped keep him sane. 

He couldn’t believe the conditions he saw. He was so glad that he hadn’t taken T with him. He had had such an unrealistic view of what was actually happening. The only relief he had was messaging T and talking to her every day. He came to the conclusion, early in the trip, that he will never, ever, take Tessa with him, because not only would it break her heart, but also it would put her directly in harms way, and he would never agree to that. 

But he also knows that he’s pretty sure he will go back. He couldn’t see all of that despair and not try to help them, but that is a conversation he will definitely have to have with Tessa before he commits.

Being in a relationship with someone who loves her makes Tessa realize that maybe her feelings for Scott were infatuation. They really did have all of this time to connect and never did. Maybe it really was fate?   
Ryan has made such a difference in her life, and as crazy as it seems, she can’t remember another time when she felt so loved or so free. He always texts her, no matter what he’s doing, and though he’s extremely busy, he’s never too busy for her. 

 

Once she and Scott finish their obligations, she returns to London, and he to Ilderton. She assumes he’ll take a day or so with family and then fly to Florida. She doesn’t ask. He doesn’t offer. It’s become their new normal. They share a hug and kiss on the cheek, wish each other well, and go their separate ways. At least for now.

 

She and Ryan are able to lead a pretty drama free life, which is such a wonderful change for Tessa. She is getting more and more comfortable with his feelings for her and believing that she’s worthy of them. He has such a stressful job, and she loves to see the worries drop from his shoulders when they get together, and she works hard to keep his life as stress free as possible.

They’re out for dinner one night in London and they run into Danny Moir and his wife Tessa, not surprisingly, on the dance floor. Tessa reintroduces Ryan and, after a short conversation he, thoughtfully, asks Danny’s Tessa for a dance, and Tess finds herself once again in Danny’s arms.

He’s a little overwhelmed, as he hasn’t seen her since he gave her his little gift for her birthday. He’s missed her. His whole family has. 

He looks over at his wife and he sees that she’s totally enamoured by Ryan, and it pleases him in a weird sort of way. Almost like it confirms that T is with someone he can trust. 

Tessa looks into his eyes and they both get misty. “Oh Tessie, I’ve missed you.” Danny whispers in her ear, and Tessa pulls him in close. “I’ve missed you too.” She says. They dance in silence for the rest of the song and then it leads into a fast song and they just continue along. 

Of course Danny’s a great dancer; he’s a Moir after all. They finish the song with a flourish and then another slow song starts. Tess looks over at Ryan and Tessa and they are laughing and having a great time. Last to Know, by Blue Rodeo comes on and Danny pulls her in close. Tessa rests her head against his and settles in. 

Danny whispers in her ear and asks her how she is. She replies like she replies to everyone. “Happy.” He pulls back and looks at her face and he can actually believes her. She knows he can read her like a book and she settles back against him. “How’s Scott doing?” she asks in what she hopes is a nonchalant way. 

“Pretty good, I think,” Danny replies. And he hopes to leave it at that.   
Obviously the stories about him drinking too much and having to be brought home from bars haven’t reached her ears yet.

Scott has been having a bit of a difficult time of it when he’s at home alone. Danny isn’t quite sure what life is like when he’s with his girlfriend in Florida, but it isn’t good when he’s in Canada on his own. Danny has kept true to his promise to stay out of his life, although he still makes himself available to give him a ride home when he needs it, but otherwise he keeps his opinions to himself.

Tessa looks beautiful. And she does look happy, and Danny can’t help but be happy for her. He doesn’t want to tell her about Scott’s problems because he believes she finally has the happiness she deserves. Scott had his reasons and made his choices and now he is living with them. 

Danny pulls her in tighter and whispers in her ear that he’s so happy for her, and Tessa feels a tear run down her cheek. 

She kisses Danny on the cheek and sighs as they finish the dance. Ryan brings Tessa back, gives her a hug and claims T as the dance ends. Danny gives T a kiss and then shakes Ryan’s hand and then he takes his wife’s hand and pulls her in for a dance. She sees that he’s emotional and she rubs his back and murmurs into his ear that she loves him and it helps. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve her.   
She knows how he feels about T and she never begrudges that love, and that only makes him love her more. He feels the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over, and he thinks about how fortunate he is and he gives his wife a kiss, hugs her tight and counts his blessings.

Ryan knows that T and Danny had a bit of an emotional talk, and he understands that she has a special relationship with him. She has explained to him what the Moir brothers have meant to her over the years, and although he never really had that type of friendship, he can understand it. She looks up into his eyes and pulls him in for a kiss. Her eyes are glassy and Ryan wishes that he didn’t know why she feels teary, but he does. 

Scott. 

He’s always there, lingering in the background, and even though he knows she tries to push him away, he’s never really gone. 

Ryan copes because he knows Tess would never cheat on him, but he dreads the day she might tell him she’s going to leave him and try to make a life with Scott. He shakes those feelings off as he pulls her in tight, kisses her again, and hugs her like his life depends on it. And in a way, he feels it does. 

Danny’s wife Tessa has enlightened Ryan a bit about the situation Scott finds himself in most days. She doesn’t say too much, she loves Scott, but she’s had a front row seat over the years to Scott and Tessa’s relationship and she wants Ryan to be prepared. “I always thought they would end up together Ryan. But now, I just want them to stop hurting each other. Scott melts down and Tessa saves him. They have never seemed to be able to get together as a couple, and maybe there’s for a reason for that.” 

He asks her if she thinks Danny is telling T about what Scott is going through right now, and Tessa says no.   
“He won’t lie to her though Ryan, but he knows how she feels about you, and he only wants her to be happy.” 

Ryan pulls her in tight and thanks her for her honesty. He knows why Tess has put so much value in these relationships, and he feels a close friendship building between him, Danny and Tessa Moir.

No one, it seems, is over stating the situation Scott finds himself in now. At this moment he’s at a bar near Ilderton with a bleached blonde hanging off of him. He never has a shortage of women who are happy to spend the night with him, but none of them are enough to make him forget what he feels he’s lost. He’ll likely take this one home tonight just to have someone to fill his time with and lately he doesn’t even seem to worry anymore about his girlfriend finding out. He doesn’t care, and it shows. He’s singing along with everyone in the bar to some country song when one of his friends sticks their phone in his face. 

 

He takes the phone and sees a video of Tess and Danny slow dancing somewhere. 

He’s struck at how gorgeous she looks. He knows she beautiful, but in this video she’s stunning. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen her in a while, he doesn’t know, but he can’t stop watching her. His friend goes to take his phone back and Scott pulls it away. “Holy crap Scott, I’ll send it to you, but I want my phone back.” His friend says as Scott reluctantly gives his phone back.

On Instagram someone had posted a video of Tess and Danny and wrote ‘Virtue and Moir 2.0’, a new business partner for Tessa?

That night Scott goes home alone and watches the video on a loop until he finally falls asleep. He knows why she’s looking so gorgeous, she’s genuinely happy. He’s known her long enough to recognize a happy T, from the one who puts a smile on her face for the public. He’s obsessed with her. He knows he’ll never be truly happy without her, but she’s moving on with her life, and so he has to move on too, knowing he’s hopelessly in love with her but trying to learn to live without her.

 

Rock the Rink

Suddenly, it seems, it’s time to start to practice and plan for the Rock the Rink tour and Tessa has butterflies in her stomach as she thinks about getting back together with Scott for rehearsals. 

When she actually sees him she’s alarmed. He looks tired and a bit out of shape. She tries not to show her concern when she greets him. He pulls her in for a hug and Tessa almost cries out at how much he’s changed. Not just physically, but mentally. He looks like a shell of himself. She pulls him in tightly and holds him close for longer than necessary, and he doesn’t pull away. 

She kisses his cheek and tells him she’s missed him. He reciprocates but doesn’t quite meet her eyes when he speaks to her. Her heart breaks watching him.   
She knows that they are where they are because of Scott, but she still loves him, and worries about him.

They manage to get through the practice and Scott is totally winded. He really has no endurance. She acts like she doesn’t notice and they take more breaks than usual and joke about being out of shape and then make arrangements to meet up again. Tess knows he needs something more, she just doesn’t know if she’ll be able to be the one to whip him in shape in time for the tour. She puts in a call in to Christine, their trainer, who has always been able to get them in tiptop shape for their tours. She arranges for Christine to be at their next gym workout and watches as she takes Scott under her wing and guides him back on the straight and narrow. Tessa gives her a big hug after their first workout together with her and whispers her thanks. 

Scott really doesn’t think anything is amiss when he sees Christine because Tess is doing all the workouts at the same time, but everyone else sees her presence for what it is, a chance to get Scott back on track.

Tessa knows when Scott dedicates himself to a goal he makes it happen. He is nothing if not driven. Tessa can’t believe how quickly he turns himself around, and she couldn’t be happier for him. She also gets to reap the rewards of Christine helping them, so it’s a win/win situation.

Now they just have to be able to get through the planning, and then the actual tour. 

Difficult doesn’t even begin to describe it.


	19. Happy Birthday Baby...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to party. The Moirs and Virtues are together again....this time for a Birthday celebration.

Ryan’s birthday is August 16, and it’s a big one, his 35th so Tessa plans to celebrate it in style. She hopes to surprise him with a party and then a romantic weekend getaway so with help from Janey, they set about planning a party and pulling together a guest list. It grows into a bit more than Tess has anticipated, but she doesn’t want to leave anyone out. Janey gets a list of his staff together, and Ryan’s parents, Sally and Jim, handle their family and close friends. Tessa makes her list and she hesitates a bit when it comes to the Moirs. She knows Ryan would want Danny and Tessa there for sure, but he also would like the rest of them too. Even Scott. She knows that means that the likelihood of his girlfriend coming is high, but there’s nothing she can do about that. She bites the bullet and puts them on the list. After all, this is about Ryan, and she certainly has learned how to put her feelings aside over the last two years, she can certainly do it for one night! Satisfied she meets with Janey and Ryan’s parents at their house to finalize the plans.

It’s decided that Tessa and Ryan will have dinner at the venue in London where he helped the gentleman who had the heart attack. Not only because it’s a beautiful restaurant but also because the owner has reached out to Ryan several times since and asked him to please come back. Ryan is modest and doesn’t want to impose, but Tessa tells him his birthday is a perfect opportunity and that he would be showing the owner he appreciates the invitation. He agrees with a smile and knows that he’s making her happy, and that’s all it takes. 

Unbeknownst to him, the party will take place in a private room with an exterior entrance so he won’t see everyone arrive while they’re having an early dinner. The party will have a staffed bar, with fun food stations around the room managed by wait staff, hors d’oeuvres will be offered and there will be tables located around a dance floor, because of course, there’ll be a dance floor and DJ. Near the end of the night there will be a buffet with finger food and desserts to cap off the evening. And of course, a birthday cake!

They’re all pleased with how it is coming together, and Sally has even put together a short slide show of Ryan’s life until now and then they will all say a few short words to celebrate the day. Janey gathers her papers together and heads off with the invitation list for the printers, hugs all around. As Tessa prepares to leave Sally pulls her in for a hug and tells her that she can’t thank her enough for how happy she has made her son. 

Tessa feels herself blushing and tells them that loving Ryan is pretty easy as he’s such a wonderful person. Jim hands Tessa an envelope and she looks puzzled and opens it and sees a cheque made out to her for a sizeable amount and looks up at them questioningly. Sally tells her that they know that she wanted to do this for Ryan, but they know that the guest list got really large really fast and on top of it all she’s taking him away for the weekend. 

“Please, please accept this for the party Tess, he’s our only child and we sincerely want to contribute to the day’s success.” Sally explains. 

“I understand, Tessa says, but this is really too much! I can’t take all of this.” 

“You can and you will, Jim says with a smile. This means the world to us, and what else are we going to spend our money on? It may not be enough for the entire party, but if it is great, if there is anything left, please put it toward your weekend. We won’t take no for an answer.”  
Tessa feels the tears welling in her eyes as she looks at them and she hugs them both. She steps back and a tear trickles down her cheek and she quickly wipes it away. She knows it will be enough, and then some. She sees what it means to them and so she agrees. 

She can’t wait to see his face when he comes into the room.

Preparations continue and Tessa and Janey are especially busy trying to keep the secret and get everything organized. The owner of the restaurant, Greg, wants to contribute to the party, and despite giving them a great rate for the room and wait staff, he wants to supply the champagne for toasting and Tessa accepts gratefully. She can’t believe how excited she is. She wants this night to be wonderful for him. 

So far Janey says that most of the invitations have been accepted and RSVP’d in the affirmative. Tessa asks to see the list because she doesn’t want to directly ask Janey if Scott has replied. Janey knows this and feels bad giving her the list with no reply yet from Scott. She loves Ryan, but she also has come to love Tessa, and she knows this is difficult for her and she wants to spare her any anxiety she can. She knows Tessa has a complicated relationship with Scott, but she also knows if Ryan and Tessa are going to be together they will have to be able to all get along and get used to being around each other because she doesn’t see Scott going anywhere any time soon.  
She sees that all of the Moir’s have replied that they will be there, except Scott. She tries, unsuccessfully, to hide her disappointment from Janey. She knows her family will all be there. Even her father and his girlfriend have replied in the affirmative. Tessa is pleased that her Mom has someone special in her life now and that her parents are being able to move on and she doesn’t have to worry about them being together at the same event. 

Two days before the party Janey emails Tess an updated list of R.S.V.P.’s and Tessa sees that Scott has replied that he will indeed be there, on his own. Tessa has to admit that she’s a bit relieved that his girlfriend won’t be attending, but it also means that he will be on his own which brings another dynamic to the mix. After considering this she realizes that his entire family will be there so it’s not like he’ll be alone. She gets to breathe a sigh of relief and she sends Janey a thank you email for the update. She knows it was sent to put Tessa’s mind at ease and she wants her to know she appreciates it. 

The day of the party arrives and Tessa is able to finally relax. All of her work has been done. Janey, Sally and Jim are now in control of how everything plays out and she has total confidence in all of their planning that everything will go according to plan.

She doesn’t want to be thinking about anything but Ryan today. They spent the night together at his apartment and a lazy morning in bed. Well maybe not too lazy, Tessa thinks with a smile. They talk about their day. Ryan does have the day off, but he still wants to go in and check on a little patient who seems to be having a little trouble in recovery. Tessa tells him to take his time, but that there will be a car picking him up here at 5 sharp and then collecting her for his birthday dinner. He smiles at her being so excited. He sees how happy this is making her and he can’t help but look forward to his birthday dinner with her.

Tessa prepares herself for the evening with care. She wants to look her best so that Ryan is proud to have her on his arm, and she knows she accomplishes that. She has a mid-calf dress with a full skirt and a low cut neckline in an emerald green. She wears her hair up in a high ponytail and has super high black heels on. Diamond earrings and a simple diamond on a chain around her neck complete the look. 

The car arrives at Tessa’s and Ryan runs up to the door to meet her. He steps inside and takes her in and is almost speechless. He pulls her in tight and tells her he loves her. Tessa’s caught off guard for a moment. It’s the first time he has actually said he loved her. Sure there have been times when they talked about loving each other, but never the actual statement.

She looks into his eyes and says, “I love you too.”

He pulls her in for a deep kiss and they have to stop themselves from taking it further knowing that there is a car waiting for them outside. They have one more quick kiss and head out to the car.

They get to the restaurant and everything is running smoothly. Tess excuses herself to go to the restroom and texts Janey. “We’re good, Janey explains. Almost all the guests are there and having a great time socializing. Don’t worry girl, you done good.” Janey texts, and Tessa loves her for it. And she heads back to the table. She convinces Ryan to just order a light dinner as she has something special for dessert for him back at her house. He smiles at her and wonders what she has in mind. It peaks his imagination and now he already can’t wait to leave. 

Tessa excuses herself from the table after dinner and heads for the party room. She tells Ryan she’s going to the restroom. The owner, Greg, goes to the table after about five minutes and tells Ryan that Tessa has been taken to see an art exhibit in one of the private rooms and has asked him to escort Ryan to meet her there. Ryan’s a little surprised, but happy to go there to meet her. He asks about the check but Greg says Tessa already has taken care of it. As Ryan goes to get up he hears someone calling his name and he turns and sees Scott’s girlfriend.

 

He stops and waits until she reaches him and pulls her in to a hug and kisses her cheek. He asks her what she’s doing in this corner of the world and she replies that she is meeting a friend while she’s home on vacation. They talk for a minute and Ryan introduces Greg. He tells her that he is going to meet Tess in one of the private rooms to see an art exhibition and she tells him she’d love to see it. She still has some time to kill before she meets her friend. Would he mind?

 

What could he say? He knows this isn’t going to please T, but he also knows he can’t tell her she can’t come with him. “Sure,” he says and gives her his arm to take and they follow Greg to the private room. 

The excitement in the room is palpable. Tessa positions herself to see his face the moment he enters the room. They have people positioned with cameras to catch his reaction the minute he opens the door. The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The door opens and everyone yells “Surprise”. 

Scott’s girlfriend’s smiling face is the first through the door and becomes the main subject in every picture taken of Ryan’s Birthday surprise because of course he lets her enter the room first. 

Everyone groans until he peeks into the room after the excitement and can’t believe what he sees. The guests regroup quickly and yell ‘Surprise’ again and try to get some pictures. He can’t believe that everyone he loves is here. He finds Tessa and makes his way over to her and pulls her up into his arms and kisses her like no one else is in the room.  
She wraps her arms around him tightly and whispers, “Happy Birthday Baby.” And he thinks he could die happy right this minute. 

Scott can’t believe she came. And, on top of everything, spoiled the surprise. He might have known that she would find out. He should have just told her, and now this. He looks over to Tess and wishes he didn’t. There she is completely wrapped up in Ryan’s arms kissing him. He tries not to stare, but he can’t stop. “Tough to watch eh? his girlfriend says as she stands beside him. Is this why you didn’t tell me about the party? So that you could stand around torturing yourself watching Tessa be happy with Ryan?”

“What?” Scott replies. 

“You heard me, she says, You’d rather stand around alone in the room miserable than bring your girlfriend to the party. If I’m here you can’t moon over her.”

Scott’s getting pissed off and he turns to her and tells her that he didn’t tell her about the party because she doesn’t even like Tessa and he didn’t think she needed to come anyway. 

“Well that’s my decision to make. I like Ryan, and he’s my friend, so the next time I get invited somewhere let me make the choice whether to come or not.” And on that she spins around and makes her way toward Ryan and Tessa and Scott follows.

Everyone is around them and congratulating Ryan and Tessa steps back. She sees him hugging his parents, then Janey and she’s so happy for him. She sees Scott in the corner with his girlfriend and she can tell they’re arguing. Yes, she ruined the surprise shot, but she’s not going to let her presence ruin the evening. Tessa is not going to let her get in her head. She looks back at Ryan and he’s with Danny and Tessa, laughing as they describe his face when he peeked around the corner as terrified. 

He tells them he was completely surprised, and glad he wasn’t first through the door because this restaurant doesn’t need another heart attack victim! Which gets a laugh from all the guests around them. 

Suddenly Scott and his girlfriend join the group and she apologizes for ruining the surprise. She had just flown in and she thought the party would have already started.

Ryan tells her not to worry, nothings been ruined, “I’m just glad you could make it.” 

She kisses him on the cheek and says she wouldn’t have missed it. “Happy Birthday Ryan” she says as she hands him an expensive bottle of scotch with a card tied around the neck with a ribbon. “My favourite, he replies, how did you know?”

“You mentioned it the last time we were all together and I just filed the information away.” She says. 

 

He leans down to give her a hug and thanks her for being so thoughtful. The rest of the group is standing around taking all of this in. And ‘boom’, Tessa thinks, again it’s all about her. Scott steps up and shakes Ryan’s hand and then they hug as he wishes him a Happy Birthday and Ryan smiles and thanks him for coming. 

 

“Well Birthday Boy, you better start making the rounds of the room because soon we’ll be tearing up the dance floor.” Tessa tells him laughing, and then they excuse themselves and Danny’s Tessa tells him to save her a dance. “Me too” Scott’s girlfriend pipes up, not to be outdone. Ryan replies they’ll both be on his dance card! And they all laugh. 

The girls go over to check out the food stations and Danny asks Scott when his girlfriend changed her mind and decided to come to the party. “I thought you said she wasn’t coming, he said, seems like she had a last minute change of heart.”

“There wasn’t a change of heart Danny. I didn’t even tell her about it. She must have either found the invitation or someone else told her about it. I figured this could just be one time where I could spare T having her in her face. Guess I was wrong again. Since I was going to be home already anyway I didn’t think she needed to fly all the way here for a birthday party for Tessa’s boyfriend. Especially when she doesn’t particularly like Tess.”

“But she does seem to like Ryan doesn’t she? Danny replies. I’m pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing when she walked through the door.” 

“If she found the invitation it would have been pretty clear that there was an outside entrance. So maybe she found out from someone else and really didn’t know. Although, once she saw Ryan she should have known the party hadn’t started yet. Oh I don’t know anymore. She’s pissed at me anyway for not telling her about the party. I should have told her and avoided all the drama. Well it’s too late now, but I should find her now and run interference. Let’s go check out the food.” And he and Danny head over to the girls at the food station.

It’s time for the speeches and Tessa gets Ryan and heads over to the screen and podium and Ryan knows he’s likely about to be embarrassed. Small price to pay, he thinks as he looks at T and she’s just beaming. He just can’t believe how beautiful she is, and when she smiles she just lights up the room. And she said she loves him. That was the best gift of all. 

His parents and Janey are already at the front and everyone starts clapping. There are waiters going around the room with flutes of champagne for toasting. Sally and Jim are up first.

They stand together and as they speak, when one gets choked up, the other takes over. They have funny little antidotes about Ryan growing up and then they start their slide show. And yes, it’s embarrassing! Ryan as a baby, nudey bathtub shot, braces, Mohawk haircut, nerd off to science camp, graduations, volunteering, cutting lawns in the summer. It’s all there. Everyone alternates between laughing and being impressed by all he has accomplished. The slideshow ends with pictures of him with Doctors without Borders and a final shot of him kissing Tessa. The last slide says….The Beginning…

The room erupts in applause, and Ryan is blushing. And gives him Mom and Dad a hug. Next it’s Janey’s turn.

She also has been busy and made a video. It starts out with a picture of Ryan and Janey on her first day of work. She narrates the video and tells everyone that Ryan insisted on this clip because, he told her, he believed this was the start of a wonderful relationship…and he was right. 

Every year on her work anniversary there was a little video clip…they got older, they got closer and now they can’t imagine not being in each other’s life. Next the video shows clips of all of his patients and colleges wishing him a Happy Birthday and telling him how much they love him. Not only is Ryan emotional, but everyone else in the room is too. 

 

Janey’s video ends and she steps up to the mic. “I don’t know where I’d be today if I didn’t apply for the assistant job with Ryan Janey says. My world had been turned upside down with the death of my husband Mike. We didn’t have any children and this wonderful young man became a huge part of my life. I couldn’t love him and his parents Sally and Jim any more if they were my actual family. Tessa has become the daughter I never had. She makes Ryan happy and we, his family, couldn’t be happier for them. Ryan, Thank you for giving me the job eight years ago, thank you for believing in me when I had a hard time believing in myself. Happy Birthday my wonderful friend” she finishes with tears running down her cheeks. 

Ryan jumps out of his chair and has her in his arms hugging her tightly as he kisses her cheek and whispers in her ear. She laughs and slaps him on the arm and wipes the tears from her face. 

Next it’s Tessa’s turn. She takes a deep breath and heads to the podium. She jokes that, unfortunately, she doesn’t have any video props….yet, but asks everyone to please video this and send it to her and she promises to make one every year on his birthday to embarrass him when he turns 80, which gets a laugh from everyone. She tells them all how he was relentless in getting her to go out with him, and she’s glad he was. She can’t believe what a wonderful man he is. He is definitely one of the nicest people she has every met, let alone have the opportunity to share her life with. 

She looks at him and says, “Ryan, I’d like to thank you for coming into my life. I’m better for knowing you and I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays and I look forward to making you feel as loved as you make me feel everyday. Would everyone please raise their glass and join me in wishing Ryan a Happy 35th Birthday and may he be blessed with many, many more. To Ryan.”

Everyone joins in the toast. Scott raises his glass but he can’t speak. His eyes are filled with tears threatening to fall so he keeps his eyes focused and wide open. He doesn’t dare make eye contact with anyone. His girlfriend watches him and knows how hard he is fighting off tears. Hearing Tessa talk about loving someone else is pretty tough for him to swallow. She’s glad she’s here and got to see this moment because she thinks he finally will see that he has to move on. At least that’s her hope.

She’s not the only one watching Scott. Danny is keeping his eye on him and he feels for him. Regardless if he has brought this on himself or not, he knows that Scott is having a difficult time being here and watching Tess loving someone else. He steps over to him and drapes his arm around his shoulder and just wants to pull him in for the hug he knows he needs. But he doesn’t. He knows that it wouldn’t take much for him to break down, and that’s the last thing they need. So for now, this will have to do. 

Ryan moves to the front and pulls Tess in and gives her a kiss and a hug. He moves to the microphone and begins to thanks everyone for coming. He can’t believe that so many people he loves and cares about took the time to come and celebrate with him. He talks about his parents and how he has felt loved and encouraged his whole life to follow his dreams. They instilled in him the desire to give to the community, not just donate, but give of himself, and he is thankful every day that he has such wonderful parents. “I love you both so much, thank you for everything.” His Mom is crying and blows him a kiss, and his Dad has tears in his eyes and waves to him.

And Janey. He begins, and tells them all that the first day he met Janey she was already bossing him around. He did suggest the video, because he couldn’t believe someone he just met was already telling him how he should be running his office. He tells them he knew right away she was a keeper. He also says that he would have pursued a ‘May – December’ romance with her if she would have agreed, but no…she tells me she has her standards. And everyone in the room laughs, especially Janey. “I love you Janey. You came into my life and got me in ship shape. I hope you never retire because I will never be able to get along without you. I thank God everyday that you walked through my office door eight years ago. Thank you so much.” Janey beams at him and blows him a kiss.

“And last, but certainly not least, T. I could not believe my luck when you agreed…finally….to go out with me. You’re beautiful, of course, everyone can see that, but it’s your inner beauty that I love the most. You have such a big heart. You’re fierce and driven, and emotional. Your accomplishments are too numerous to mention, but I’m so proud to be the person you love. I can’t thank you enough for today, but even more, each day we’re together I love you even more. So thank you everyone for this wonderful day. I love you all and I can’t wait to party with you now that all these speeches are over.” And everyone laughs. “But first, please raise your glass to my beautiful Tessa. I love you more than words can say. To Tessa.”

And everyone joins in and toasts Tessa as she blushes and steps forward and into his arms as he leans down to kiss her. 

The DJ sees this as his cue and starts the night with Y’all ready for this? And everyone cheers and starts dancing. Scott makes his way outside to collect himself and is quickly followed by Danny, then Charlie. 

It’s looks like it might be a long night


	20. Well Scott, you've got what you wanted...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan's birthday is a hit...in more ways than one. But does Scott realize that what he's giving up? No. But that's the way he wants it to go. WTF?

Scott and his brothers stand out in the parking lot with their drinks in their hands. Nobody speaks for a few moments. The boys know Scott needs to collect himself and they give him that opportunity. “You good?” Danny asks, and Scott nods that he is. “This is what you wanted, right Scott? T with someone she loves, and that loves her back. I mean, you don’t believe you could ever be a couple, right?” Danny continues. He knows he says he would mind his own business, but this is serious. He sees Ryan and Tess getting married. They are getting totally serious. If Scott is going to do anything it has to be now.

“Yep, this is what I wanted,” Scott replies. And both Danny and Charlie sigh. This boy is so stubborn it’s ridiculous. It’s like he enjoys being the martyr. “Well, great, Danny says, Let’s go back in and enjoy the party.” Scott tells them to go ahead and he’ll be right behind them. Reluctantly, the brothers head in.

Scott leans against the building and tries to control his breathing. He doesn’t know why he can’t give her up…it’s like she has a hold on him he can never break. God help him, but he feels he will never be able to move forward in his life if she’s not with him. He takes a deep breath and heads for the door. His girlfriend is standing there watching him and as he gets to the door she puts her arm around him and they go back into the room.

The party’s going strong and everyone is having a great time. The Moirs, of course, are partying hard and dancing the night away. Tessa’s family are holding their own and still hanging in late into the night. Tessa is having the time of her life. She and Ryan have been dancing with each other and with everyone else that is at the party and having a great time. Tess couldn’t have believed that the party could be this much of a success. 

The song, Anything for you, by Gloria Estefan comes on and Scott is suddenly there in front of her and sweeps her into his arms. She looks into his eyes and allows herself to be pulled into him. She closes her eyes and enjoys the moment. Scott whispers in her ear that she looks beautiful and that she wears her happiness well. She smiles at that description and feels it suits her, especially today. 

She glances over to Ryan and sees him looking at her smiling and she blows him a kiss as he’s dancing with Tessa Moir. She also sees that Scott’s girlfriend is standing by the bar making sure to keep an eye on Scott, and Tessa turns her head away from her. She knows her life is changing and she feels it while she’s in Scott’s arms. 

She’s not going to pretend that she doesn’t love him anymore. She does, she thinks she always will, but she has come to accept that they’re not meant to be. No matter what the reason, they never made it happen, and now she feels she’s come to terms with that, at long last. 

She feels the raw emotion in Scott, but she’s felt that before. He’s made his mind up that they can’t be together, but he hasn’t come to terms with Tessa moving on. It’s not realistic, she’s sure he knows that she wouldn’t stay single while he moves on with his life. But he just hasn’t wanted to think about it. And now he has to. 

He whispers in her ear that loves her, and leans back and looks in her eyes and says, “I’ll always love you Tess, more than anyone else. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she whispers back as a tears spill down her cheeks. And, for the first time, she really does believe him.

He gently wipes the tears away with his thumb and pulls her in close and she feels their hearts beating together like so many times before.

The song ends, they have a hug and she turns to find Ryan. He’s thinking the same thing and he lifts her off the floor into his arms and kisses her. “Don’t be sad Baby, he whispers, you’re not losing Scott, he’ll still be in your life, and bonus…you’re gaining me!” Tessa laughs out loud and kisses him again. 

The party is rolling along. There’s line dancing and someone does an impromptu karaoke, and everyone is having a great time. The desserts are served and a huge birthday cake comes out and everyone breaks out into Happy Birthday and Ryan steps up and blows out the candles. He looks at Tess and he couldn’t ask for a better day. She’s radiant. He sees Scott out of the corner of his eye and he knows he’s a bit of a wreck, but he also knows that Scott let Tess go. He actually threw her away, and he’s not about to feel completely sorry for him…but he does feel for him. He tells himself that Scott sought out someone else, and left Tess alone. He won’t forgive him for that. He really likes Scott, but the hurt he levelled on Tess isn’t likely to be forgotten too soon, especially by him. No. He can like Scott but still see what he has done to Tess. He also knows that if Scott hadn’t have done that he wouldn’t have her now. But for sure, he’s not going to throw her away. Never. 

Tessa has planned a romantic weekend in NOTL and she can’t wait to get started. There are a ton of wineries to visit tomorrow and then a romantic dinner at the Queens Landing Hotel. But what’s she’s looking forward to now is the first of two overnight stays. She can’t wait to get him alone and it’s then she realizes that she has certainly moved on.

Scott watches as the limo pulls up to take them away to their romantic weekend. They come out of the building and Tessa makes eye contact with him and he smiles. She looks at him, smiles back and lowers her eyes and he lets his tears flow. She can’t see that though, she’s too far away. She swallows her love for Scott and looks into Ryan’s eyes and pulls him in for a kiss and the tears spill down her cheeks. 

Ryan looked concerned and she whispers to him “Happy tears.” And she smiles up at him. He knows she loves him, but he also knows there will always be a little part of her heart he’ll never have and, he can’t lie, it hurts. They settle into the limo and she snuggles into Ryan’s side and, without realizing it, they both end up taking a moment to mourn the love they’ll never have. 

Back at the restaurant the party is still going strong. There’s lots of food and it’s just after midnight so Sally and Jim figure why not make the most of it!

Scott has gotten his second wind and is now tearing up the dance floor…with everyone. He’s like a whirling dervish. He has everyone laughing and dancing and having a great time. Well almost everyone. His Mom looks over at Danny and Charlie and asks them to keep an eye on him and they nod. Finally a slow song comes on and his girlfriend seeks him out and they start to dance. She hopes that now that Tessa and Ryan have left he will start to pay a little more attention to her. Scott dances her over to the bar and grabs another drink while he continues to dance. 

She doesn’t mind because drunken Scott, is for the most part, fun Scott. As if he read her mind, he spins her around and pulls her back in as he dips her and puts his empty glass on the nearest table and she laughs. For the next hour they’re taking control of the dance floor and she loves the attention he’s giving her. He heads off to the restroom and Danny keeps his eyes peeled for him coming back. After about 5 minutes later he sees Scott’s girlfriend heading out to look for him. 

And she finds him. Standing in the hallway with his arm around some blonde’s neck whispering in her ear while she takes a selfie of them. He looks up and sees her and says “There she is…..my girlfriend.” The blonde has the decency to look a little embarrassed, thanks him for the picture and walks past his girlfriend and back into the party. 

 

They stand there looking at each other and Tessa’s words come back to her with ringing clarity about how she would always have to watch him with his arm around some other girl.

Danny steps into the hallway just as the blonde is leaving and tells them the party is breaking up and it’s time for them to thank their hosts. He knows that something happened, and seeing them staring at each other he can easily imagine what it was. Scott blinks first and starts toward her and puts his arm around her and she lets him, not because she isn’t mad, but because no matter how pissed she is at him she’s not going to let it play out here, in front of his family.

 

Tessa is lying back in the afterglow. It was an emotional night, and that fed into their lovemaking. Part emotional, part urgent and impassioned. They both lay spent and Ryan fell asleep with his head on her chest. She kisses his forehead and leans back on the pillows. What a great day, she thinks.

 

She hears a buzz on her phone and reaches for it on the bedside table. She sees that Instagram and twitter are filled with pictures of the party. She tries not to care that her life is playing out in 30 second clips of them dancing etc. But she did kind of sign up for this.

She comes across a picture of Scott and a blonde who wrote BUSTED across a selfie of her and Scott. Scott deeply invested in her neck while she takes the picture. “Ooops…girlfriend showing up unexpectedly…..PRICELESS.” 

 

Oh Scott, she thinks. It’s not that she feels one bit sorry for his girlfriend…it’s him she’s thinking about. Grow up. You just can’t keep on like this. There are quite a few other videos and pictures making the rounds, including one of her and Scott dancing and him wiping away her tears. She gets emotional watching it and quickly flips to one with Alma doing the robot! She starts to laugh and Ryan wakes up and looks up at her and she shows him the video and they laugh together. He pulls he in for a kiss and then he gets a serious look on his face and moves up and kisses her deeply and she throws her phone aside and gives herself to him completely.

 

Not quite the same scenario at Scott’s house. Danny and Tessa dropped them off and there was an icy silence, as they got ready for bed. Scott knows he drank too much and acted like an ass. She comes out of the bathroom and she’s in a teddy so Scott has to believe that’s a good sign, right?

He leans into her neck and kisses her as she leans back into him. She’s still mad, but she knows him, he’s a flirt, but she’s going to make him work to get back in her good graces. He reaches in front of her and cups her breasts and she moans. He picks her up and throws her over his shoulder and carries her over to the bed and throws her down on the mattress. She laughs in spite of herself. He drops to his knees and pulls her thong off and lifts her legs onto his shoulders and dips his tongue deep into her. She rises up to meet him and he lifts her ass and pulls her in deeper. She grabs him by his hair and pulls him in tighter as she yells out for him to not stop. And he doesn’t. 

She comes, throbbing against his tongue. He lays her back on the bed and reaching for a condom and moves around and flips her on her stomach. He lines himself up and thrusts deeply into her and keeps thrusting until he finally finds his release and pulls her in tight. His legs feel weak and he slips out of her and gets his legs under him and makes his way to the washroom to clean himself up. She lies back and calls out to him that she’s ready for round two, as he splashes water on his face and he heads back in to the bedroom.  
Tessa sees how the fandom is getting out of hand. She finds a picture of her and Ryan and gets ready to post it. “Happy Birthday Baby” and she hits post and the fandom goes crazy. And she doesn’t care. She welcomes it. She has stayed in the background so long, relationship wise, that it feels good to say. “Yes. I love him. And I don’t care what you think.” It’s not all bad. Some people say that they believe that it was time for Tess and Scott to go their separate ways, others are too mad to have a decent comment. You just never know what’s going to be said, but Tessa knows that she loves Ryan…and Scott doesn’t’ want to have a relationship with her, so there you go.

Scott sees her post and shuts his phone completely down.  
He knows he can’t watch one more minute of Tess with Ryan tonight, even if his life depended on it. He looks down at his girlfriend and wishes that he felt the same way about her as he feels about T, but he doesn’t, and he knows he never will.


	21. The Other Shoe Drops...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Tessa and Ryan to spend a Birthday weekend away and they can't wait.

They were having such a wonderful weekend! Saturday morning they got up early, had breakfast and then met their driver out front. Leo was an easy going sixty something year old with a light hearted attitude and a knack for storytelling. He kept them regaled the whole day with stories of his family and friends. He also was able to share stories about the NOTL area and it’s history. They spent the entire day with him and it was so much fun. 

They visited eight wineries throughout the Niagara Region and bought wine for family and themselves. Each winery had a little bit of history and a story to tell and they loved it. They stopped for dinner and invited Leo to come in and eat with them. He declined saying it was against policy, but told them to take their time and enjoy themselves and to call him when they were ready to leave. 

Although they basically flew under the radar, there were a few fans that recognized Tessa and asked for pictures, for which she was happy to oblige. For the most part, anywhere she’s been in Canada, fans are respectful and kind, and she does appreciate their support. She and Scott weren’t lying when they said they felt that all of Canada was with them when they skated in Korea, and she never likes to take that support for granted.

When they arrive back at the hotel Leo drops them off and Tessa discreetly gives him a generous tip. She asks him if he’s available for hire tomorrow and he tells her he can check with his dispatch and find out for her. After a minute or two he tells her that he is available, she asks if they can book him for the day and he hands her his phone to speak with his dispatcher.

After everything is arranged she thanks him again and tells him she will see him at 11 the next morning. He gives her a warm smile and tells her he will be at their disposal tomorrow morning, 11 sharp, and she gives him her million-dollar smile.

They settle in for another great night. 

For most of the weekend Tessa has basically put her phone away, and except for a few pictures chronicling their trip, she has tried to stay present and in the moment. Ryan has also tried to stay off his phone but he can’t help but try and keep track of his patients and make sure they’re doing okay in his absence. So far so good. Tessa certainly doesn’t mind at all. They’re close enough that if he actually had to return to TO they could, but fortunately everything seems to be fine. Janey tells him to relax, and that she will definitely contact him if there is anything he should know, even if it’s minor, and he finally relaxes.

Tessa discovers that Ryan has never actually been to Niagara Falls and she knows that it has to be one of their stops tomorrow. They stay in their room that night and all Tess can think about is making this a weekend he will remember. He pulls her in tight and kisses her deeply. He tells her he’s never, ever felt this way about anyone before. Tessa appreciates that he doesn’t pretend that this is a casual affair because she’s never felt this way either and she tells him that. Her previous relationships have been pretty casual, and although she has loved Scott for what seems like forever, because they never moved forward romantically, all of this is new territory for her too. She’s always been the spectator to everyone else’s romances. Mostly Scott’s.

They make love like it’s the first time and they just enjoy being in the moment. There’s no rush, they’re just there enjoying each other and finding a comfort level that, Tessa at least, welcomes. She’s always felt that she was somehow competing to be loved, always trying to protect her heart, feeling like she was being judged against the last, or possibly the next, partner. She supposes it’s because of their life in competition, always striving to be better than the next person or be left behind. She feels so free with Ryan, and he always gives her his undivided attention.

When fans approached them he was happy to wait while they got their pictures, and would stand back, smile and just look so proud of her. He’s confident in his own right, and it definitely shows. 

He moves lovingly down her body and she gives herself to him completely. They make love and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

The next morning they have an early breakfast and meet Leo out in the parking lot. It’s a beautiful day and perfect to view the Falls. Ryan can’t believe that living so close to one of the seven wonders he’s never taken the time to actually visit. Sure he’s driven by, but not actually specifically visited. They wandered around the streets and stopped into some of the souvenir shops for some funny gifts and shopped and talked to some of the street vendors. Ryan puts his arms around her from behind and they gaze out toward the Falls and just take it all in. Tessa looks up at him and they share a moment. Next they find a nice restaurant with a view for lunch and were just able to take their time. Tessa can’t believe how easy Ryan is to talk to. And he’s also a good listener too. She feels like she keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can someone be that nice? Well if he isn’t, he’s hiding it really well. 

 

Leo takes them for a scenic drive to see all the sights and they cosy up in the back seat and steal a kiss or two and just soak the day in. By the time they get back it’s almost time for dinner and they go to their room and freshen up and have a quick little make-out session before going down to the dining room.

There’s live music after dinner so they stay and dance the night away. Because they’re leaving early in the morning they go up to their room around 10:30 and their lovemaking tonight takes on more of an urgency than last night’s for sure. The minute they get in the room they’re undressing themselves and each other like they have a time limit. Ryan drops to his knees and pulls Tessa’s, almost naked body, toward him and kisses her breasts as he lowers her slacks and she steps out of them and he parts her legs and enters her with his tongue and she leans back against the wall. She comes within minutes with a force that surprises her and he looks up at her and smiles. She puts her hands on each side of his face and brings his mouth up to hers for a kiss and he stands and picks her up and carries her to the bed. He lays back and she grabs a condom and puts it on him as he leans and his elbows and watches her smiling. 

She straddles him and his smile turns into a moan as she guides him into her and they move in unison harder and harder until they both climax almost simultaneously and collapse and try to catch their breath. Ryan’s up first and heads to the washroom and then Tessa. They climb back into bed and fall, almost instantly, to sleep.

Just after midnight she’s awakened by a message on her phone. Wondering who it could be at this time of the night, she logs on and finds a backlog of messages along with a picture of her and Ryan at Niagara Falls with the caption….Married?? Tessa is holding a bouquet of flowers that Ryan had bought her from a street vendor and he’s standing behind her with his arms around her and his one hand on her shoulder and his head bent down. She’s wearing a flowing white blouse, which, the way the picture is cropped does look like a dress, and he’s wearing a sports jacket. It’s difficult to see because he’s behind her so it does look like a suit. 

The picture is so similar to the pose on the front of their ‘Tessa and Scott’ book that, if she didn’t know better, she would think it was posed like that on purpose. She can’t even remember anyone taking their picture, and that’s likely because she was too busy looking at Ryan. 

She sighs. 

Right now she really just can’t be bothered to reply to all these assumptions this late at night. She knows it will drive the fandom crazy, but so be it. She clicks off the light and puts her phone on mute and cozies into Ryan and lets the night take her in.

Meanwhile, back in Florida, Scott is sitting up staring at the same picture thinking the exact same thing about the pose while his girlfriend sleeps beside him. Could Tess actually be married? He sends her a benign message asking how she is and waits, watching his phone, but it goes unanswered. He feels himself begin to panic and gets out of bed and goes downstairs and outside to try and calm down. He sends another message, and another with no answer. He knows he has to stop, but he feels his emotions ramping up and he just can’t.

He paces around and finally decides to send Danny a text to see it he’s heard anything. Danny, awakened by the message, sees it’s from Scott and has a moment of worry. He reads the message and realizes that something has sparked a worry in Scott and now he’s magnified it in his mind. He replies that he hasn’t heard anything and he doesn’t’ believe T would get married and not let them know. He tries to convince him to get some sleep because, regardless, there’s nothing they can do about it now even if she is. 

All this does is make Scott feel worse and make him more paranoid. He seems to take Danny’s answer as a confirmation that Danny does believe that she actually is married. He knows he’s treated Tess poorly in the past, but all that pales in comparison, as he stands around wondering if she has actually gotten married or not. 

At least it does to him. He texts Danny again and asks him to please see what he can find out. 

Danny tells him it’s late, how can he find out anything at this hour? Scott reluctantly agrees, but Danny knows that he’s not going to be able to let this go. It’s after midnight, but he crawls out of bed and goes downstairs so he doesn’t wake everyone up. He texts Cara and knows, of course, that he’s woken her up.

 

He apologises and she tells him not to worry, as she slides out of bed and pads down the hallway so she doesn’t wake up her husband. He asks if he could call her and she says of course, and when she answers she asks him if something is wrong, because now that she’s fully awake she’s worried. 

“No, no, Danny replies. I’m so sorry for worrying you Cara, its just that Scott’s gotten it into his head from some social media post that T got married and didn’t tell him.

Cara tells him that she hasn’t been online and she grabs her laptop and settles on the couch and logs onto her social media. Danny waits and then Cara says she can understand now why Scott’s panicking. 

“Someone’s posted a picture that actually does look like a wedding picture,” she says to Danny and that peaks his interest enough to open up his own computer and log on himself. He finds the picture and his eyes tear up.  
It does look a wedding picture, and he finds he’s torn between being happy for her and being incredibly sad. 

 

“Are you there Danny?” Cara asks. He can’t speak for a moment, then swallows and replies that he is. Cara knows him as well as anyone, and she knows that the picture is affecting him almost as much as it seems to be worrying Scott. She’s always amazed at how much these Moir boys are connected to Tessa. She’s pretty sure that Tess has absolutely no idea how much she means to them all, but especially Scott and Danny. 

Cara knows how Danny feels. He loves Tess like his little sister, and would do almost anything to protect her. Scott’s a whole other story. Cara skated with Scott when they were younger because she was the only one who had a bit of a chance of controlling him, but she’s never been really been able to totally understand him. 

She truly believes there’s no other person on earth more suitably matched for Scott than Tessa. Even though they are very different people they balance each other out. 

But Scott’s reluctance to even give them a shot leads her to believe there must be something else stopping them from being together. She’s given up trying to understand him, but she’s pretty sure that if Tess does marry Ryan, Scott is going to be totally devastated, whether he realizes it or not. 

She gives Danny a moment to collect himself and then she weighs in with her opinion. 

 

She doesn’t believe that they would have gotten married on the spur of the moment in Niagara Falls. Tess is too level headed for that, but she does think that Danny should tell Scott to be prepared, because she believes it won’t be long until they decide to make their relationship more permanent. 

“Whether that’s marriage, or maybe living together, she says, I think she really loves him.” 

She tells him that when she spoke to Tess at the party that she couldn’t remember the last time she had seemed so relaxed and happy. 

He thanks her, and tells her, once again, that he’s sorry to have bothered her. She tells him not to worry and, without having to say it, Danny knows Cara won’t repeat anything they’ve spoken about, and that’s incredibly comforting.

 

Danny calls and relates all of this information to Scott and he really doesn’t know if it makes any difference to him or not. 

He wants a yes or no answer, and Danny believes that Scott’s emotions are getting out of hand. He tells him that he can’t have it both ways. He can’t turn Tess away and then be upset when she moves on. Scott thanks him for the advice a bit sarcastically, but as always, he seems to live in a world of his own. As long as nothing definite is happening with Tess and Ryan he’ll just glide along like he has all the time in the world. 

They all know that Scott has always worn his heart on his sleeve, but he also is a bit of an emotional time bomb. Sometimes his sense of humour is a defence mechanism to try and protect his feelings…and he can be a little mean. Unintentionally maybe, but it hurts just the same, and T has borne the brunt of that more times than Danny can count. 

He crawls back into bed and wraps his arms around his wife and pulls her into him. “Everything okay babe?” she says. “No worries, he whispers to her, go back to sleep sweetie.” As he settles in and wishes that he could fall back to sleep as easily as she does. But no, he’ll be spending the next hour or so thinking about the picture of Tessie and wondering, not only if she’s married, but what Scott plans to do next.

The next morning Tessa and Ryan have breakfast and are prepared to get on the road early. They rented a car and are going to return it in London so that Ryan can get straight to the hospital where he left his car. He has a surgery tomorrow and he wants to spend as much time as possible prepping with his staff this afternoon. It’s also likely he will sleep at the hospital tonight.

They load up the car and Tessa is surprised when she sees Leo pulling up beside them. “I just wanted to say goodbye,” Leo says as he shakes Ryan’s hand and then Tessa’s. He pulls a small box of specialty chocolates from his pocket tied with a ribbon and bow and hands them to her and whispers, “Sweets for the Sweet.” Tessa is so touched and leans in and kisses him on the cheek as she thanks him for being so thoughtful. “I love chocolate, she says, and these especially. They’re so beautifully wrapped!” 

“My wife helped me, he says with a proud smile, it’s been a pleasure to meet you both.”

Tessa and Ryan both tell Leo that the trip wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun if they hadn’t have met him! He waves good-bye to them as they pull out of the parking lot and they beep the horn and head back to reality.

On the drive back, Tessa brings Ryan up to date on the speculations on social media, and Ryan laughs. “Maybe this would have been the perfect time to elope,” he says, in a jokey way. Tessa looks over at him and realizes that he’s serious. 

“But we wouldn’t do that to our friends and family, or ourselves for that matter, Tessa replies in the same jokey way but getting her point across. A private wedding is one thing, she says, but a secret wedding? That’s not for me. When I get married to the person I love I want to share it with the people I love.” 

And Ryan thinks to himself, noted.

 

They get to the hospital and Tessa hops out of the car and meets Ryan at the trunk as he gets his suitcase out. He puts it on the ground and pulls her in for a hug and a kiss, which lingers. He doesn’t care who sees, and neither does she. He tells her he had the time of his life, and he’s already planning what to do on her birthday. 

“Well this was a big birthday, she says, my big birthday has already passed. You’ll have to save up those plans for 5 years from now.” He looks into her eyes and savours those words. She’s telling him they’ll be together and he tears up and tells her he loves her so much, and kisses her again. She can’t remember when she felt so loved or wanted. They say good-bye and Tessa returns the car and calls an uber to take her home from the rental station. 

While she’s waiting, one of the employees comes running up with a phone that was left in the car. It’s not hers, so it has to be Ryan’s. She thanks him, and since she’s closer to home than the hospital, she gets the uber driver to take her home and once she gets her luggage in the house she pops back into her car to take the phone to him. She uses her Bluetooth to call the hospital and she gets put through to Ryan who tells her he’ll meet her out front and grab the phone from her.

Tessa pulls into the roundabout making sure to keep the ambulance lane clear and keeps the car running. Ryan hops in for a minute and leans over and kisses her. Tessa’s phone rings and as she passes Ryan his phone she answers it and Scott’s voice rings out in the car “What the fuck’s going on Tess, I’m worried.” 

Ryan stops halfway out of the car and says angrily “Hey, don’t you speak to her like that.” 

Tessa’s head snaps toward him with her eyes wide open. She grabs her phone and tells Scott she will call him back as he tries to answer back to Ryan she hangs up on him and turns off her phone.

Ryan sees she’s pissed, but so is he. “You let him talk to you like that? Like he owns you?”

Tessa tries to weigh her words carefully because she knows it will set the tone in their future relationship. 

“Ryan, you know that I’ve said that my relationship with Scott is complicated, and Ryan tries to interject, let me finish she says forcefully. Nothing is going to change us after almost 22 years. If that’s a problem for you we better address it now. I am quite able to stand up to Scott; I’ve been doing it all my life. I also tell him exactly what I think too. I do appreciate that you want to protect me, but save that in case someone tries to hit me, not swear at me.”

“Has he ever…?” Ryan begins, and Tessa interrupts and tells him empathically “of course not.”

“You’re entitled to not like how we talk to each other, and you can speak to me about it, but that’s as far as it goes. If you decide you can’t live with that, well I’ll certainly be heartbroken I know, but I’ll try to understand.”

Ryan’s a bit shocked when he realizes that she’s serious. If he doesn’t accept, and stay out of, her relationship with Scott she’ll break up with him. 

She sees him processing this and tells him that she thinks he should take the opportunity to be able to think about a decision that will so seriously affect them both. 

“Just please remember this one thing Ryan, when I told you I loved you I meant it. You’re the only one I have ever said that to. The only one. She says empathically. But if I’m not honest with you now we’ll never make it together.”

He looks at her and slowly nods his head as he steps out of the car and walks into the hospital without looking back.

Tessa feels the warm tears spilling down her cheeks as she heads for home with a heavy heart. 

Well, she thinks, for a first fight this certainly escalated quickly.

But now she has to face the fact that it may also be their last.


	22. Time for everyone to move on..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott move on with their separate lives even thought they both know there are unresolved feelings between them. Tessa is the more realistic of them both and she realizes that in order to get past their unresolved feelings they have to speparate and that's exactly what they end up doing.

Scott looks at his phone and is stunned. What the hell? He guesses that it must have been Ryan that yelled at him, but why? Sure he swore, but seriously? And now Tess has shut down her phone and he can’t get a hold of her. 

His girlfriend comes out of the house and he pockets his phone. She has her iPad with her and she also brings them both a coffee. Scott takes it, but it’s likely the last thing he needs now. He’s anxious enough without the caffeine, but he drinks it anyway. “Did you see this picture of Tessa and Ryan?” she asks him as she puts her iPad in his face. He turns away, tells her he did and doesn’t elaborate. “So, is she married or not?” she asks him. 

“How would I know, he replies moodily, I haven’t spoken to her now have I?” His girlfriend isn’t shocked by his reaction in fact she expected it. She knew he’d seen the picture by the way he’d been acting all morning. Wringing his hands, pacing around the house, sitting outside on his phone constantly. All of this usually means something is up with Tessa, and whether it involves him or not, it does. He makes this big production about staying out of her life, but the minute she does something, or she’s with someone he’s all up in her business. 

A lot of what he does is behind the scenes, but she still sees the difference in him and knows when something’s up. Even though he’s miles away from Tessa, it never seems like he can ever get far enough away. Ever. He’s not someone who comments on social media very much, but he certainly does keep track of hers. Not commenting doesn’t mean not paying attention. 

She realizes that he’s likely done for the day because, until he finds out exactly what is going on with Tessa, he won’t be able to concentrate on anything else. She figures that she might as well go inside so he can get back on his phone and maybe, just maybe, they will be able to salvage some of their day. 

She gets up and walks back inside, but turns back to look at him and sees he’s already on his phone. She’s thinking that she doesn’t know if she has the energy, or the desire, to continue on this way. She thought if Tessa found someone Scott would move on and concentrate on their relationship. But now she’s thinking that he will never be able to accept her with anyone else. 

Scott tries Tessa’s phone again but still no answer. Danny has been trying to get a definitive answer so that he could give Scott some peace of mind, but so far no go. He bites the bullet and calls Jordan. She’s surprised when she sees who’s calling and answers in kind. “Danny! What’s sup?” Danny laughs and says not too much. He asks her how she is and they exchange pleasantries. “So, Danny continues, with all of the speculation online….did T get married?” Jordan laughs and tells Danny that she doesn’t have to guess who he is calling for. 

“Tell him yes, she did.” And Danny is actually surprised at the sadness he feels. He’s not sure if it’s because she’s married and he wasn’t there, or because it isn’t Scott. He’s pretty sure it’s the latter. 

Jordan realizes by his silence that she’s, inadvertently, hurting Danny too. “Oh Danny, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so flip, I know you love Tess. She’s not married. I’m just so sick and tired of everyone always worrying about Scott’s feelings because he acts out, but it’s Tess, who suffers in silence and is always the one left hurt. 

Danny knows that she’s right, but Scott’s his brother and he loves him. “I know Jord, maybe he doesn’t deserve any compassion, but he’s suffering. If I could just get him to understand what he’s giving up I would. I know you don’t necessarily think they should be together, but you also know that Tess loves him.”

“I know she thinks she does, Jordan continues, but she’s got a great guy in her life now, and I believe that she needs someone in her life that loves her completely. Scott’s love is selfish. It’s for him, not for them. If he can’t see that she has supported him unconditionally all of his life, and has had his back forever, then he doesn’t deserve her. End of story.”

“I can’t disagree, Danny continues, but I love them both, and I really want them to be together. No matter what.”

“Okay Danny, tell him. Tell him that his Tessa is still single, but also tell him, when he acts like it the news really doesn’t matter, that he doesn’t deserve her. Not her love, or her friendship. He has treated her like shit and he will never deserve her. You can tell him that from me!”

“I will Jord. Thanks for this. I know how you feel, but I hope you can understand how I feel too.”

“I do Danny. My beef has never been with you or the family. Scott just won’t grow up. The WOF cemented to me that he doesn’t love Tess. I mean, after that, I had a hard time believing that he even likes her. He would have to really come through for me to believe he loves her, actually loves her.”

“Well, thanks for this Jordan, I really appreciate it.”

“Well I’m certainly not doing it for Scott,” Jordan replies, and tells him to take care.  
Danny hangs up and tries to decide whether to call Scott or not. He realizes that Jordan has a point, but he doesn’t think he can have Scott keep suffering.

He calls and the phone barely rings before he’s answering the call. “What did you find out?” Scott asks.”

“I found out that Jord still thinks you’re an ass and that you don’t deserve any compassion or favours.” Danny replies

“Not surprised, Scott says. Did you ask her about Tess?”

“Why the hell else would I call her out of the blue? Of course I asked her about Tess.”

“And.”

For a moment Danny actually contemplates telling him that she’s married, just to see what his reaction would be, but he doesn’t. He can’t be that mean. 

He takes a deep breath and tells Scott that Tessa isn’t married. 

Nothing. Not a peep out of Scott. 

“Hello? Danny says. Are you still there Scott?”

Scott replies quietly that he is. 

“So what are you thinking?” Danny asks.

“To be honest I just don’t know, Scott replies. As crazy as it sounds I almost hoped it was true. I just can’t take this roller coaster anymore. I can’t tell you how sick I felt when I saw that picture, but the more I looked at it, the more I thought, as hurt as I felt, maybe it would be for the best. It would mean that I absolutely would have to move on with my life, and now… Well now I feel right back where I started.”

“Well, Danny says, from the way things seem to be going for Tess and Ryan I don’t think you’ll have much longer to worry about that. Go ahead and get on with your life and leave her to get on with hers. Danny sighs. I gotta go Scott, take care.” 

And before Scott has a chance to thank him, Danny has hung up the phone.

 

They resume their practices in earnest three days later when Scott returns from Florida. Things are a little awkward at first, but they settle into a routine after day three. They don’t talk about the phone call, what really is there to say. Tessa hasn’t heard or spoken to Ryan since that day and she believes that she’s lost him. She’s spent a few teary nights and sad days, but she knows that she has to get on with her life and move forward. She left the ball in his court and he’s decided that he doesn’t want to play. Great, she thinks, now she’s describing her love life with sport metaphors.

She hasn’t spoken to anyone about their fight, or their apparent break-up, because she really hoped they could work things out, but she guesses she’ll have to amend that tonight when she joins her Mom and Jordan for dinner.  
She’s standing at the boards during one of their breaks while Scott has gone to refill their water bottles when she hears a door shut and she looks up and sees Ryan at the side of the rink standing at the gate. He looks sad, and tired and Tessa doesn’t know what to think. She turns toward him and he steps out on the ice and opens his arms wide and she skates into them as he lifts her up and swings her around whispering in her ear how much he missed her. She pulls him in tighter and kisses him long and hard. Her eyes are filled with tears and she doesn’t want to let go.

“I’m so sorry T, I love you so much, and I have a hard time thinking that someone else is that close to you. I’ve thought about it, and I know I just can’t live without you, even if it means I have to deal with your dysfunctional relationship with Scott, I will.”

Tessa laughs and says that’s the best description of her and Scott’s relationship she has ever heard. “Are you sure Ryan? She whispers to him. It will only get worse, not better. I love you so much, she says looking into his eyes, and I never thought I would find anyone I could care about this much. I know that seems like a qualifier, but I can’t tell you how much your love means to me, but we can’t have this conversation every week. I have to know that you’re in this for the long haul.” She says with tears in her eyes. I can’t imagine anything changing as far as my feelings with Scott go. I won’t apologise for the way we interact with each other. It is what it is, but it is totally separate from the way I feel about you. I do love you….so much.”

“I’ve thought about this from every angle, Ryan continues, and all I know is I don’t want to live without you T, I love you so much. Unfortunately, I can’t promise that I won’t have a melt down or two along the way, but I hope you will bear with me and know that it’s just because I love you so much. Just promise me that, no matter what, if something changes between you and Scott that you will be up front with me before acting on it. I’m truly not trying to imply that you would cheat on me, but I do know that your relationship is emotionally charged and I have to be able to trust that our life together means something. 

Tessa does understand where he’s coming from and is not offended. Ryan knows that she’s in love with Scott, and it would be extremely hypocritical to judge him for trying to protect his heart. She takes his face in her hands and looks him straight in the eye and swears to him that she would never do that to him. “I will never cheat on you Ryan, and I will always tell you the truth regarding Scott, but please, promise me you won't ask questions you don’t want to hear the honest answer to.”

“I can live with that,” he replies, because he knows she’ll keep her word, and that’s enough. At least it is for now.

Scott continues to watch from just beyond the doorway leading to the ice. There’s something so emotional about the way they’re talking and interacting, and he feels that he’s intruding on something intimate, but he doesn’t leave. 

When Ryan pulls Tess in and they kiss Scott steps forward and put her water bottle on the ledge and retreats back to the dressing room and takes off his skates and leaves for home. He knows he has no one to blame for this but himself, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s heart broken as he drives himself out of the parking lot and heads for home.

Tessa kisses Ryan goodbye with a plan to meet at his place tonight after she has dinner with her Mom and Jordan. She looks over toward the dressing rooms and sees her bright green water bottle sitting on the ledge. She knows Scott has seen the two of them together and has likely left the building. She also knows that that this is the natural progression. He has a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend. They have to figure out a way to work around this situation in order to keep skating together, and if they can’t, well, that would be the end of a beautiful career and friendship, and she really hopes that isn’t their legacy.

She skates over and takes a drink from her water bottle and steps off of the ice and heads to the dressing room to take off her skates and heads home. She won’t text Scott. She knows she has to accept that they’re not going to be together, and finally, she feels she has come to terms with that. So now it’s time to move on, and she finds herself, finally, feeling excited about what might be in store for her.

As the weeks go by she and Scott get together for their rehearsals and things are actually going really well. They leave most conversations about their private lives to only the issues which might affect their schedule, travel plans etc. and that seems to be working well. Scott and Ryan are back on good terms and got past the bump in the road. Ryan recognized that he was reacting to more than just the phone call, and he feels more confident now in his relationship with T, and that has changed everything.

Scott continues to spend much of his free time in Florida, and that also seems to work well for him. Being away from most of the prying eyes, and also Tessa’s personal life, has helped his relationship with his girlfriend and the result is that he’s not using self-destructing measures to cope, and it shows.

And Tessa? Well she seems to be living her best life sans Scott. She finds that she is posting just as much on social media, but reading much, much less. And it’s working. She spends most of her free time with Ryan, especially since he will be having another short stint with Doctors without Borders very soon. They sit down and have a very serious conversation about him continuing to volunteer and Ryan lays out all of the risks and rewards to Tessa and why he wants to continue to help. She sees the passion he has when he speaks about their mission and she also recognizes the danger. He tells her he will never agree to her coming with him, but that there are other relief missions, which are just as important, but safer, that he would love to have her along on when she’s able. He just knows that he would not be able to do his job if he was also worrying her safely, and she accepts this. After talking it all over she supports him 100% although she knows she will continue to worry. 

He had this same conversation with his parents two days ago, and despite their apprehension, they realized that his heart was there with the staff helping all of those in dire situations, and no amount of tears was going to change that. He told them honestly about the real danger that they all faced every day and that, yes, he was scared, but he was also challenged and knew this was a calling for him regardless. And now he has even more reason to stay safe. Tess.

 

Rock the Rink is coming together quickly now. With Ryan away Tessa doesn’t have to worry that she’s not spending as much time with him as they’d both like, and she does manage to speak to him at least once a day, along with texts that are answered when either of them are available to sit down for a moment and get to them. She finds that it’s one of the high points of her day, and she smiles just thinking about it.

The time flies and as their first show approaches Tessa is excited. Most of her excitment has to do with the fact that Ryan is now back home and will be there for the first show in Abbottsford B.C. and then he has to return to the hospital. In a bit of a weird twist, Scott’s girlfriend is also attending and she and Ryan have arranged to sit together and then to travel back to Ontario on the same flight the next day. Tessa hadn’t realized that they had been communicating, but she does know that Ryan likes her and so Tessa, for the most part, keeps her feelings to herself. He told Tess that she has kept in touch with him by text and it’s been nice talking to someone in the same field about what’s goes on during his trips. 

He asks Tessa if she minds, and she says she doesn’t. She knows he’s entitled to make his own friends and just because they don’t get along, it’s certainly no reason for him not to be friends with her. And, surprisingly, Tess finds that she means it. The few times the four of them have been together it’s, quite frankly, a relief not to have to talk to her and let Ryan do the socializing. 

And in the end, he won’t be by himself at the show, so that’s something.


	23. How much can the human heart survive?  I guess we'll see..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the tour wraps up Tessa is dealt a blow she doesn't know she can recover from, but evidently, it's only the beginning....

The first show is deemed a success! It’s always a little difficult because you don’t know how a program is going to be received, and it’s also an opportunity to get the kinks out. The first audience should get a discount, Tessa thinks with a smile, just because they’re the guinea pigs. But, they also get to see everything before anyone else, so maybe it balances out. She hopes they feel that way anyway.

She hurries out of her costume and makes her way to the reception area to see Ryan. He’s so tall that she doesn’t have any trouble locating him. He turns to her and he has a huge smile on his face. She reaches him and he scoops her up into his arms and kisses her. He has a bouquet of flowers for her and a bottle of champagne to celebrate with! The cast gets together for a drink, she tells him, so we’ll just stop for a quick one and head back to the hotel. She gives him a wink and she gets rewarded with another kiss. 

Scott isn’t far behind her and he pulls his girlfriend into a hug as she tells him how much she enjoyed the show. They all start out for the restaurant. Everyone is in good spirits and introductions are made all around as they propose a toast to the beginning of what they hope is a successful tour.  
The Birds of Bellwoods were a big hit and the exposure they’re getting from the tour has opened them up to a whole new fan base. Scott and Tess are happy that the guys are such a great fit with the group, and they’re looking forward to travelling with them. 

Scott and Tessa rented a car and are staying at the hotel tonight because they won’t get another chance to see their partners for a while and so they want to take advantage of this opportunity. Tessa and Ryan are the first to leave and everyone says good-bye to Ryan and they tell him it was great to meet him. He likes this group of friends and can see why T and Scott enjoy working with them.

Tessa calls downstairs for a wakeup call and settles in to enjoy the rest of the evening. They quickly undress and Ryan carries her over his shoulder to bed while she laughs as he lays her down. The look on his face is all she needs to quell her laughter as her takes her in and pulls her into a deep kiss. He cups her breast in his hand and leans down to take it into his mouth as she closes her eyes and moans. She reaches for him and sees he’s ready, as he puts on a condom and enters her slowly, looking into her eyes and enjoying every blissful sensation as he starts to gain momentum.

Tessa responds, meeting him thrust for thrust as they build up to a climax and lay in a heap on the bed. “I’ve missed you so much, he says, I don’t know how I’m going to manage without you while you tour.” She tells him that’s she’s going to check the schedule and maybe she can sneak away a time or two to see him, and that makes him smile. They cuddle for a bit but Tessa tells him not to get too comfortable, cause this night isn’t over yet, she says smiling.

In the morning they all meet down in the lobby after breakfast, which Tess and Ryan had in their room. Scott still has difficulty watching Tessa and Ryan together, especially after he knows they’ve had sex, and busies himself with the pamphlets in the stand in the lobby. He and Tessa are driving them to the airport and then they will set off for their next tour date in Penticton. 

At the airport they watch as Ryan grabs both of their bags and they walk toward their gate. Tessa and Scott are both waving and Scott looks at Tessa and says, “Tell me this isn’t just a little bit weird,” he says, and laughs as he feels a little bit of a weight off his heart as they leave. Tessa has to agree. Waving goodbye to their SO’s as they board a plane together has to be pretty weird on all levels.  
“Well, that’s pretty much the long and the short of it, “ Scott says watching his 5’ tall girlfriend walking with Tessa’s 6’4” boyfriend to their plane. Tessa laugh rings out loud, “it sure is.” She says. 

They make their way back to their rental car and start out on their almost 4 hour drive. This isn’t anything new to them. They’re used to road trips and being in the car for hours on end so this is really old hat to them. They play a made up version of Jeopardy, which has them laughing the whole way. They make it to their next show with time to spare and get a rehearsal in to boot. The mood is light, and fun, and they feel it’s a great way to start out the show. Tessa hears from Ryan that they landed safely and she can breathe again. No matter how many times she flies she always worries when she has a loved one in the air. 

Work takes over and Tessa and Scott are so busy with the tour that the time is flying. Tessa settles in to talk to Ryan via Skype after a long day. He’s disappointed that their planned visit isn’t going to work out now. He mentions to her that he has a couple of conventions coming up and he wonders if she might be able to join him for any of these dates. 

Unfortunately the dates don’t work out and she won’t be able to make it, but they do arrange a get together the weekend after his second convention, which would mean on October 21. The show has a 4-day break, and with travel, she hopes they can meet and only use two of the days so they can also get their work completed. He seems a little happier to hear that.

He then tells her that he has received an assignment for Doctors without Borders, which starts November 1 and he would be gone until late December. He knows the timing is bad because Tess will be done with her tour, but he really feels he should take it. Tessa knows that Ryan is frustrated, but she wishes he would realize that, although her work isn’t life saving, it is important to her. She doesn’t want to start an argument so she keeps quiet for now because she knows how much this means to him.

As Ryan prepares for his next convention he calls Tessa to confirm their plans to get together. He wants to get his plane tickets lined up. Tessa has been dreading this conversation since she found out yesterday that she wouldn’t be able to meet up with him. 

He’s not just upset, he’s mad and he has a hard time hiding it. She hasn’t seen much of this side of him; although his Mom says he has a bad temper he has kept it well hidden from her, so far. He tells her that it would likely be the last time they can see each other before he leaves.  
She asks if maybe he could fly out to her and he makes a pffft sound and tells her that the flight alone would be over 6 hours and so, no, that just won’t work. She tells him again that she’s sorry and she will try to arrange something before he leaves. 

He sighs and tells her he realizes it’s not her fault he’s just frustrated and they don’t end on a great note. She wishes him good luck at his convention and tells him she loves him. He thanks her and disconnects. No, I love you, no good-bye. Tessa shuts down her laptop and gets back to work.  
As the days go by she’s excited because she thinks she has worked out a plan to surprise Ryan before he leaves. The London show with is on October 30, and she arranges with Scott for her to leave the tour right after the show and be in London to surprise him. 

She makes her plans and is on her way. She can’t wait to see his face. It’s late and she goes straight to his apartment and knocks on his door. He answers it and is in a bit of shock. “Tessa?” he says as he rubs his eyes.  
“In the flesh,” she says, a little thrown by the fact that he seems more caught off guard than happily surprised. She stands there in the hall and he still hasn’t asked her in.  
“Can I come in?” She’s beginning to think this wasn’t the best idea.  
He laughs a little self-consciously and says of course! He pulls her into his arms and she starts to feel a little better.  
She pretty much attacks him and she starts undressing as they make their way into his bedroom. He finally starts to get into it and take the lead. He finishes undressing her and takes her a bit aggressively. She matches him in the passion department and gives, as good as she gets.  
They’re spent and lay back. Ryan is very quiet. She thinks that maybe it’s the upcoming trip so she tries to take his mind off of it by asking about his conferences. She finds out in short order that he doesn’t have anything to say on that topic. He’s very short with her, she thinks,…and she smiles in spite of herself, no pun intended.

The entire time she is with him he’s not at ease. She tries to talk to him about his trip and it doesn’t seem that it’s worrying him. But she knows something is. She sees Janey and gives her a big hug. 

“Janey, I’m not trying to put you on the spot, but do you know why Ryan is so agitated? I thought it might be his upcoming trip, but that doesn’t seem to be the reason. Do you have any idea? Am I imagining it?”

Janey tells her she’s noticed it too, but she has no idea what’s wrong and, when she asks, he tells her that he’s just busy. She also says that maybe it’s because he’s burning the candle at both ends. The conventions, she feels were a bit much along with his schedule and that could be it. “He was presenting and so he didn’t want to let them down.” Tess immediately feels bad because she didn’t even realize that he was a presenter at these conventions. She knows that she’s been so wrapped up in their tour that she hasn’t been a very good girlfriend.

She goes up to his office and it’s empty. She found out from Janey that he is finished with his appointments and she grabs one of his lab coats and slips into the washroom. She quickly undresses and uses a scarf to tie the huge coat around her. Not the sexiest look, but he hopes he gets her intent. She lays on his empty desk in, what she hopes is, a sexy pose…leaving her heels on to complete the look.

Ryan opens the door, and in spite of himself, has to laugh. She’s always beautiful, and he thinks, only she could pull this look off. She tells him to lock the door, which he quickly does, and he makes his way over to her. She stands up on the desk and opens the coat, and by the look on Ryan’s face, this is definitely a sexier pose. They make love with an urgency that seems to be the theme for these last few days together. She lies in his arms afterward and looks up at him and sees that he has a tear running down his cheek. She moves up and kisses the tear away and puts her hand on his face and turns it toward her. “What’s wrong babe?”

He shakes his head and tells her he just loves her so much, and that he hopes she knows that. She realizes that she’s not going to get anymore out of him and then gets distracted by clock on the wall. 

“Oh, gosh she says if we don’t leave now I’m going to be late!” She leans in and kisses him deeply and he holds her so tight it hurts a bit. He suddenly realizes this and lets her go to get dressed, and he in turn, gets his clothes on and takes one last look at his office as he leaves for the next couple months, and they head to his apartment.

The London show is always a special one since it’s basically their home rink. The stands are full of family and friends and you can feel the excitement in the air. Scott’s girlfriend is here sitting with his family along with the Virtues, who are well represented, and Ryan’s parents and Janey. Counting the Aunts, Uncles and cousins they almost fill a section! Ryan has chosen to watch the show alone at floor level, which at any other time would have seemed strange, but after spending these last few days with him she’s not too surprised.

Tessa has some obligations after the show and Ryan begs off from getting together with everyone saying he still has a few things to tie up before he leaves for his flight. He makes arrangements to meet up with Tessa, his parents and Janey at the airport in three hours and says a quick good-bye to everyone else and heads out. 

At the airport when they do meet to say good-bye, Ryan gets super emotional. After saying goodbye to his parents, he hands them an envelope and they nod their heads and look upset. He pulls Janey into his arms and tells her he’s going to miss her bossiness and he might have to call her for a fix. She starts to cry and he kisses her cheek and tells her he’ll see her soon. 

As he turns to Tess everyone else makes themselves busy and huddle together talking trying to give them some privacy while he says goodbye. He tells her that he loves her so much and that he hopes she knows how much he’s going to miss her. He says he doesn’t deserve her and he pulls her in tightly and his voice is ragged and Tess hears him sob against her neck. She gets emotional and starts to cry. She tells him she’s going to miss him so much and to stay safe and call often. They hug tightly and kiss good-bye and then he’s gone through the gate. They all hug, not wanting to leave yet, so they stay and watch the plane as it takes off before leaving quietly for home. 

London was pretty much the halfway point of their tour so there are still plenty of shows left to think about, and Tessa welcomed being able to keep busy. Ryan calls everyday and when he sees her smiling face he immediately relaxes and waits to hear any news she might have about family and friends. She keeps him laughing with tour experiences and ends by telling him how much she loves, and misses him. He blows her a kiss before signing off and smiles as she grabs it. 

With each call he seems more like himself. Some days it’s not possible for them to talk because of Internet connections when tensions and fighting escalates and it only makes her worry more. She’s counting the days until he gets home.

Finally it’s the last show of the tour and they’re having a wonderful night. She’s sorry to see it end, but it’s taken a toll on her along with worrying about Ryan and she’s ready to have some at home time with him and her family. He has his return date, December 16 and now they both have something to look forward to. She can’t wait to celebrate Christmas with him, her favourite holiday, and she tells him she’s going to make it his too! 

Everything is going according to plan and the night ends with a standing ovation and Scott pulls Tessa in for a hug. They look around at all of these friends that are so important to them and they hug again. As they head off of the ice Tessa sees a military guard standing at the off ice gate. She panics and tries to avoid them by going to the next gate, but they move over to where she's getting off the ice. Scott watches from a distance as they approach her and when one of them speaks to her she hesitates and then turns and looks at Scott and collapses to the ground. He immediately rushes to her side and pulls her up into his arms.

He hears the one of the soldiers telling him that he's sorry, but Dr Ryan Jackson has been killed in an accident and everything else stops and he doesn’t hear anything more after that. He pulls Tess into his arms and they both cry as he holds he tight. A crowd is starting to gather so he scoops her up into his arms and carries her to the dressing room while everyone stands wondering what to do. Patrick talks to the officers and heads off to find Scott and Tessa.  
Scott sits Tess down and takes off her skates and carefully wipes the blades and puts on her guards, he gathers all of her belongings in her bag and lifts her back up into his arms. He stops at the men’s dressing room just long enough to remove his skates and Chiddy tells him he will take care of his equipment.  
Patrick then leans in and kisses Tessa on the cheek and tells her he loves her and they’re all thinking of her and are so sorry for her loss. Scott picks her back up and carries her out of the building and takes her to his hotel room and helps undress her and put her into his bed. He sits in a chair beside her as she cries and he wants nothing more than to climb into bed beside her and hold her tight, but he knows he really shouldn’t do that. Instead he holds her hand and tells her he loves her, and for now, that’s about all he can do. 

Scott calls Tessa’s Mom Kate once Tessa has fallen asleep and he tells her what has happened. Kate is overwhelmed. She knows that she should call Ryan’s parents, and Tessa’s Dad, but she can't seem to take it all in. Scott tells her he’ll stay with Tess until she can get there, unless she would like him to bring her home. Kate tells him that she’ll come and get her, and thanks him for being there for her. 

Next, Scott takes a moment to call his girlfriend and let her know the news. For a moment there’s no reply on the phone and Scott knows that she is caught off guard. She really liked Ryan. They had become good friends in a weird sort of way, and she is truly upset. Scott tells her he’s sorry for her loss and she cries even harder. He says he’s sorry he can’t be with her, and that he doesn’t know what is going to happen next. 

He says Kate is on her way, after that he doesn’t know what is happening, but that he can’t leave Tess and he hopes she understands. There’s silence on the other end of the phone so he continues and tells her he’ll let her know when about the funeral arrangements when he knows. She says okay, but he can tell she’s not pleased that he’s not coming home to her. He tells her he loves her, and then hangs up. 

He looks over at his beautiful Tess, her eyes swollen from crying and her beauty overwhelms him. He can’t imagine what she is going through and his heart breaks for her. He still loves her. He always will, and to see her heart broken like this is almost unbearable. He’s overwhelmed and just has to hold her. He climbs up on the bed and stays on top of the covers but pulls her into him and holds her tight. He whispers in her ear that he loves her more than anyone in the world and kisses her forehead. She hears him amidst all the turmoil going on in her head and she wishes she could tell him how much those words mean to her. But she can’t. She’s overcome and she just retreats into a black hole as fresh tears stream down her cheeks.

Kate arrives after making some quick plans and takes over the care of Tessa. They go back to Tessa’s hotel room and prepare to fly home. Scott, reluctantly, remains behind to wrap up arrangements from the tour but is on a plane that evening and drives straight to Tessa’s. The trip home is a sombre one. 

When Tess wakes up she’s surrounded by her family. She sees Kevin and Casey over by the window, and her Mom and Jordan are conferring with someone at the side of the bed. She sees Ryan’s Mom and Dad and she is immediately overwhelmed again. 

She looks to her right and there is Janey. Tears fill her eyes as she raises her arms up to her and Janey falls into them. They both cry and comfort each other. Tessa can’t speak because she doesn’t believe there is anything she can say. Ryan’s parents come over and hug her and tell her they love her and she can’t believe they’re thinking of her in the midst of their loss. She sees Scott in the corner of the room and he comes over to her. He’s been crying and he doesn’t say a word. He sits on the edge of her bed and pulls her up into his arms and he whispers something in her ear and he kisses her cheek as tears spill onto her cheeks. He doesn’t want to let her go and everyone in the room feels the emotion between them. 

Danny taps him on the shoulder to break the tension, and Scott, reluctantly, lets her go. Danny pulls her in and tells her he loves her. “I’m always here for you T, he says, through thick and thin, I’ll always be here for you.” And his voice breaks down and his wife wraps him up in a hug from behind. “We love you, his Tessa says, and we’re just a phone call away.” Tessa gives her a small nod as they step away. 

Her brothers take a seat on the bed on each side of her and hug her and tell her how sorry they are. She gives them both a tight hug. They know she needs to rest and let Jordan take over as she lies down on the bed with her and hugs her tight. 

“That’s enough for today, she whispers in Tessa’s ear. And Tessa closes her eyes and retreats into herself.

Everything from then on is a blur and before you know it, it’s already time for the funeral. Tessa is finally on her own for a few hours and it’s a bit of a relief. There always seems to be someone with her every single minute, almost like a suicide watch. She dresses herself carefully. She always thought black was a classic look. Now it just feels sad. 

She remembers dressing for her Grandmothers funeral, and then Scott’s Grandpa. The closest she came to someone young dying was Scott’s best friend. She didn’t attend that funeral, but Scott was devastated by it. She still remembers him walking around in a daze, just not being able to comprehend that his friend was gone.

She imagines it felt something like this feels for her. Numbing. 

There’s a knock on the door and she imagines that it’s more flowers. She pulls open the door and it’s the mailman.  
“Ms Virtue, I just wanted to make sure that you got this mail in person. Unfortunately it was mixed into a bunch of mail for another destination and that caused a delay. 

“No worries, she tells him, thank you for taking the time to make sure I get it.” The news of Ryan’s death has been on TV and the newspapers, so she’s not surprised when he offers his condolences. She’s actually very touched, and thanks him.

He continues on his route, not knowing the impact the delivery of a particular letter will have on Tessa.  
She takes a cursory look at the letters and puts them on the counter, but then one catches her eye.  
‘Ms Tessa Virtue’, in Ryan’s handwriting, stands out from the pile. She picks it up and her heart is pounding. She’s afraid to open it. She doesn’t know why, but she believes that it’s bad news.

How much worse could the news be after you learn your boyfriend has been killed?

She opens the letter and starts to read it and reaches back for the counter. Her heart is pounding, and then breaking. She reads it over again and lets out a sound somewhere between a cry and a moan. Oh Ryan. She breaks down crying, as she doesn’t think that her heart can’t survive another devastating blow, and she guesses she’s going to find out.

She hears a car in the driveway and quickly folds the letter back into the envelope and puts it in her purse. She certainly doesn't want to have anyone find it and read it. Especially today, of all days. 

Her first impulse is to burn it, pretend to herself that she never received it, but she knows that she can’t do that no matter how much she wants to. She’ll just have to get through the funeral and then she’ll deal with the blow she just received. 

She fixes her makeup in the mirror, takes a deep breath and opens the door to her family.


	24. Dealing with loss and learning to move forward..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa says good-bye to Ryan and marvels at the outpouring of love for him at his funeral. She wonders how she'll make it through the day, let alone having to talk to his parents after the funeral. She just doesn't realize how strong she actually is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some posting issues with the chapter posting out of order, and then posting an unedited version. I should wait to post, but I've read it over too much now (is that really a thing?) and hopefully I'm not being to hasty because I want Tess to move on. Thank you for following along!

It’s a tough day for everyone, and Tess doesn’t know how she’ll manage to get through it. So far she has barely cried because she doesn’t believe she has that many tears left. Her stomach aches; the kind you get when you’ve retched so much there’s nothing left, but you still can’t stop. She walked around hearing condolences from so many people. Patients, co-workers, friends, family, they all came. It was a testament to how much Ryan was loved and respected. Tessa couldn’t help but feel proud while she listened to the stories about how he had changed people’s lives. And now he’s gone. Not only is it not right, it just doesn’t seem fair. 

Many of her friends from the skating world were also in attendance, which she appreciated. Patrick and his girlfriend make their way over to her and he pulls Tessa into a hug and tells her he’s so sorry for her loss. She thanks them for coming and then gets a hug from Eric and his husband. She begins to go on autopilot and it feels like this day will never end. She sees Scott at the other side of the room watching her. Not a day has gone by that he hasn’t actually come to see her with offers of help or comfort. She sees his gaze move suddenly past her and she doesn’t have to wonder who has entered the room. She turns to leave but feels a hand on her arm stopping her. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss Tessa, Scott’s girlfriend says tearfully, he was such a good man and a good friend to me.” Tessa looks at her and feels that her tears are sincere and allows herself to be hugged, and thanks her for coming, and moves away. She’s finding it difficult to speak anymore. She doesn’t know how Ryan’s parents are able to do this. They have received every single person with their thanks and appreciation and they are still greeting people. 

They have been so wonderful to her, and they’ve asked to see her before she leaves today. She’s not sure why, and quite frankly she really doesn’t need any more surprises, but there’s no way she won’t do as they’ve asked. It’s the very least she can do for these wonderful people. 

She sees an opportunity and escapes to the family room to take a short break and hopefully find a Tylenol for her aching head. The room is empty, thankfully, and she finds her purse and as she reaches in her hand she touches the letter. Tears fill her eyes. The door opens and she jumps, almost like she was caught doing something wrong. She pushes the envelope deep into her purse and she feels familiar arms wrap her in a hug from behind. He turns her around and uses his thumbs to gently wipe away her tears; lifts her head and he starts to move his down to hers.

Oh Scott, she thinks, don’t. 

But she wants him to so badly.

They hear the door open and Scott stops and slides his hands down her arms and pulls her into a hug. He whispers something in her ear and the tears spill down her cheeks. 

“Tess, her Mom Kate says, I’m sorry sweetie, but people are starting to leave, and I know it’s difficult, but you should be out there.”

“You’re right Mom, I’m coming.” She says and Scott lets her go and she grabs a Kleenex and blows her nose. She gives her Mom a hug and then gives Scott a kiss on the cheek and leaves the room. Kate looks at Scott and she gets emotional. She’s known him for almost his whole life, and there have been many ups and downs, but through it all, she’s always loved him.

“Please be careful with her Scott. I know you love her, but she’s so fragile right now I’m afraid she could have a breakdown. Just remember that anything you do or say now could have a devastating effect on her.” 

Scott nods his head in agreement and tells her he only wants to help her and that he will be careful. He gives Kate a hug and heads out into the main hall with her to join everyone else. His girlfriend is looking for him and walks over to meet them. Kate nods to her and immediately walks over to take her place at Tessa’s side.

There are so many people to say goodbye to that it takes another hour and a half before the last person has been thanked and leaves. The Moirs have gathered together and are saying their goodbyes and Scott’s girlfriend is stuck to him like glue. Tessa gets emotional as she hugs them all and thanks them for coming. Danny and Charlie, their wives, cousins, and of course, Alma and Joe. Sally and Jim tell them that Ryan spoke about what a fun group they were, and how you were all Tessa’s extended family. 

“Thank you so much for making our boy feel so welcome, Jim says, it meant a lot to him, and to us.” Joe shakes his hand and gives Sally a hug while Alma wipes her tears from her eyes and pulls Tessa in one last time before she leaves. 

“Take care of yourself Tessie. If you ever need anything, our whole family is there for you, you know that right?” “I do, Tessa says as more tears spill down her cheeks. She’s struck, not for the first time, just how much Scott is like his Mom and she holds tight to Alma and whispers her thanks.

Scott’s the last in line and Tessa is once again pulled into an uncomfortable hug by his girlfriend. Tess keeps her arms at her sides though and she quickly moves on. Scott pulls her in tight and whispers in her ear that he’s there for her, and he loves her. “You know that right?” And for the first time in days, she chokes out a laugh amongst her sobs. Scott pulls back and looks at her and sees a little spark in her beautiful sad eyes. “You’re your Mother’s son for sure Scott Moir! And then she whispers, “Thanks for everything.”

And she watches as they walk out the door.

Her family is still there, and Tessa tells them to please go ahead because Jim and Sally want to speak to her. Her Mom says she’ll wait for her, not to worry and Tessa thanks her and heads to the family room. She’s more than a little anxious about what they have to say to her.

They sit down at a table and she can see that they’re nervous. Jim begins by telling her how much she meant to Ryan, and now, how much she means to them. He says that Ryan, being their only child, meant the world to them. They ask if she might still consider them her family even though Ryan is gone. Tessa looks at them both and tells them sincerely that they don’t even have to ask. She will always think of them as her family and want them in her life. She breathes a sigh of relief that that was what they wanted to discuss with her. No matter what, she does love them. 

But next, Sally sets an envelope on the table and Tessa’s stomach turns. She recognizes it as the envelope that she saw Ryan give to his parents at the airport. She feels sick wondering if it contains the same information as the one she received this morning and she can feels her heart pounding out of her chest.

“Tess, Sally begins, Ryan knew he was heading into a dangerous region, but we’re sure even he would never have believed that anything would happen to him so imminently. He drew up a will and wanted to make sure we had it in our possession in case anything like this happened before you were, hopefully, married.” 

They see the surprise on her face and they tell her that he had already spoken to them, and her parents, a while ago and that frankly, they were surprised that he hadn’t proposed already. With that said, Sally puts a small blue box on the table between them. “I know this is upsetting Tess, and we would do anything to change what has happened, Sally says, as the tears run down her cheeks. Tess doesn’t reach for the box; she puts her head down as her tears continue to fall.

“This envelope contains Ryan’s will, Jim continues. With the exception of a bequest to Janey, everything is to go to you.”

Tessa gasps and shakes her head no, “I couldn’t,” she says.

“You most certainly can, Jim says firmly. This was his wish Tessa, he wanted you to have this.”

“Donate it, Tessa says in a bit of a panic, please, I can’t.”

Both Jim and Sally reiterate to her that this is Ryan’s last wish. Of course the money is hers to do whatever she wishes, but they beg her not to make any rash decisions. 

They would like her to take possession of the inheritance sooner than later, so that she can make sure that Janey is taken care of. They know that she will still have a job at the hospital if she wants it, but Ryan wanted her to know she would be taken care of in her retirement.

“Please Tessa, don’t make a decision against keeping it while you’re in mourning. If later you decide you have to do something, we would appreciate hearing from you first before you take any steps. Otherwise, we will continue to hope that you will keep the money and use it to help you along life’s path.” Jim says.

Tessa promises that she will do as they ask. She can’t believe for a moment right now that she would keep it, but she knows she’s not getting out of this room if she doesn’t. And she will keep her word.

Sally recognizes Tessa’s reluctance to touch the ring box and she picks it up and puts it in the manila envelope and whispers to her, “For when you’re ready.”

They hug and Tessa walks out the door to the parking lot and into her Mother’s waiting arms. Kate knew what the conversation was going to be about and she hugs her tight. Jim and Sally are at the door and Sally nods to Kate letting her know that Tessa has accepted their request. 

Kate knows her daughter well and had spoken to Jim and Sally about how to approach her when they told her what they were going to do. Kate was surprised about Ryan’s will, but she also knew that he was planning to propose so she wasn’t completely caught off guard. Both sets of parents were surprised he hadn’t proposed before he left, as they knew that was the plan. Well now I guess now we’ll never know, Kate thinks. 

 

They get to Tessa’s and Kate asks if she can fix her something to eat and she says no. “Please Mom, go home, I’m fine. I really would like some time alone to try and process everything,” she says. And Kate sees that she means it. She can’t imagine all of the thoughts going through her head. 

“I just have one question, Tessa says, when did Ryan ask you about proposing to me?”

Kate takes a moment and thinks back. “Well, she says, it was before you were going to meet up after one of his conferences because we thought he was going to ask you then. But when you had to cancel, we felt sure it would happen when you came for the London show. We were surprised when he didn’t propose then, but we figured he wanted everything to be perfect and that maybe the timing wasn’t right.”

“Thanks Mom, she says, for everything.” And she gives her Mom a hug and watches as she goes out to her car and then drives away. Tessa closes the door and locks it. She goes to the kitchen and makes herself a cup of hot chocolate, picks up her purse and makes her way to her room. She turns off her phone and unplugs her landline. She makes her way into the bathroom and starts to run a bath. She opens the small safe in her bedroom closet and sets the two envelopes inside and places the ring box on top. That's for another day, she thinks and shuts the safe. She sips her mug as she undresses and steps into the hot bath and lets it envelope her. 

Now, when she wants to cry, she can’t. She’s finally empty. She feels exhausted, mentally wasted. She wants to banish all negative thoughts from her head and just rest. Is that too much to ask she thinks?

Evidently, yes. 

 

Scott has gone back to Florida with his girlfriend, but still keeps in touch with her every day. She finds she looks forward to his texts more than she really should. Her family has gradually left her to her own devises and she appreciates the opportunity, to once again, be in control of her own life. 

Christmas is coming up quickly and she gets a little melancholy when she thinks about how she was going to try and make her favourite holiday, Ryan’s favourite holiday. It’s going to be a busy Christmas season, and she’s actually looking forward to it. She has loosely arranged to spend Christmas Eve with Ryan’s parents and Christmas Day with her family. Little does she know now that she is starting a tradition with Ryan’s parents that will continue for many years to come.

She and Scott have been asked to skate for a Christmas program on CTV and they agreed to participate. Now it was time to get some practice in and Scott calls Tess to meet her at their old stomping grounds, the Ilderton Arena, to get in some practice. 

Tessa still isn’t back to her old self, and makes a trip to the doctor for a physical and some blood work. She leaves with iron pills and instructions to eat right and get some sleep. She knows she hasn’t been taking very good care of herself and vows to start. The doctor asks if she’d like a prescription for a sleeping aid but she doesn’t like to take any more pills than she has to, so she declines. 

Scott is already waiting for her on the ice and she quickly puts on her skates and hurries out to meet him. She’s missed him more than she likes to admit.  
She looks in his eyes and sees something else which makes her hesitate. A false bravado, or a feigned excitement as he looks down and pulls her in for a hug.  
Oh Scott, she thinks, what is it that’s troubling you?  
They skate for the next hour or so and then Tessa tells him she has to stop. She’s not feeling the best, and she hasn’t eaten much today. He tells her he has a granola bar if she’d like it. So he skates her off to the boards and they sit down, share the bar and catch up. He asks if maybe she should see a doctor and she tells him she had a complete physical last week and he looks relieved. 

Scott tells her he has the ice time booked for the next couple of days if that works for her. The Christmas shoot will be for TV so it’s done in advance, which is nice because that means they’re free at Christmas.  
They arrange to meet again tomorrow and after they take their skates off he walks her out to the parking lot. He tells her to take care of herself and she turns it back on him.  
“What about you? You look like you have something on your mind. Do you wanna talk about it? I’m here for you too Scott.”  
He tells her thanks, but he’s good, and changes the subject quickly. He relates a funny story about one of his nieces and, in no time, has Tessa laughing and then they both feel better.  
“I’ve missed you making me laugh,” she says and she actually reaches up and lightly kisses his lips, then turns quickly and hops into her car, waves and drives off.  
Scott watches her leave and touches his fingers to his lips. He wishes he didn’t love her as much as he does, because it would make his life so much easier. 

 

That night Tess sits down at her kitchen island and puts the manila envelope in front of her. She knows she has to look at it sooner or later because they have a meeting with the lawyers tomorrow for the reading of the will.  
She pulls all of the information out of the envelope, pushes the ring box aside for now, and takes a deep breath as she looks at the documents. She is overwhelmed when she sees the amounts of money they are talking about. 

 

Even without the amount set aside for Janey, they are talking about a huge amount of money. She can’t even comprehend these amounts. He had previously received inheritances from his grandparents and he had made arrangements for the interest from those investments to automatically channel into donations and causes that were near and dear to his heart. That will become her responsibility now, with most of the work done by his lawyer.

Tessa realizes now what his parents were trying to say to her about what he wanted his money to facilitate for their/her lives. She just doesn’t know if she should accept this, or if she wants the responsibility. She goes to sleep mulling over all the possibilities.

Before their meeting Tessa has her follow up doctor appointment and she leaves after receiving a clean bill of health and a renewed perspective on what she wants to do with her life. 

Next she meets with the lawyers, Ryan’s parents, and Janey. They’re basically there to make sure that the papers are signed and that Janey’s bequest is taken care of and released to her. Janey is beside herself when she is told about the bequest Ryan left her. She’s overwhelmed and begins to cry. Sally pulls her into a hug and tells her again how much Ryan loved her. 

After Janey has hugged everyone and gathered herself together, she wasn’t needed to stay and was able to leave. Tessa has signed all of the papers she needed to and it’s then she tells Jim and Sally that she is going to take their advice and keep the inheritance. They’re so pleased. They know that’s what Ryan would have wanted. 

 

She also tells them that she’d like to take an active role in the charities and foundations that Ryan supported, if that would be all right. Both the lawyer and Ryan’s parents smile. “It would be wonderful, Jim says. Ryan’s free time was almost non-existent these last few years otherwise he was always involved.” The lawyer tells her that he will send her information on the foundations, etc. and then they could get together in the New Year and discuss what she might like to do. She looks to Jim and Sally and asks if they would like to also be involved but they both say no. “This is now your business Tess, Jim says. If you want our opinion or help we’re here for you, otherwise, what you do with the money is now up to you.”  
She tells them she will be out of town for a while, but that she will keep in touch and then they confirm their plans to be together on Christmas Eve at the Jacksons. Sally suggests they invite Janey too and Tessa thinks that's a wonderful idea. They hug, and Tessa heads for home.

She wants to take some time for herself once the Christmas show is taped, and so she plans to take a trip. Then when the New Year begins she hopes to try and put some of her business education to work and plan out her future.

What that future might look like certainly isn’t totally clear yet, but she has reason now to hope that 2020 has something good in store for her. And it’s that thought that helps her get to sleep tonight.


	25. When one door closes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much has changed in the last couple months for Scott and Tessa. Changes they could have never even anticipated. Now they have to move on, no matter how hard it is.

Practice for the Christmas show went really well and they thoroughly enjoyed the whole process. The production aspect is now almost as important to them as the skating as they move further in their career. They’ve been able to watch the creative end and are still do their job and perform. It’s like getting paid and educated at the same time! A win/win situation. 

After the show they wish each other Merry Christmas and hugged good-bye, and that was about it. No plans to get together. No conversation about the New Year.   
Nothing. Silence. It really does feel like the end. 

At least it does to Tess. She doesn’t know how it feels to Scott.

He’s taken the opportunity to fly to Florida to be with his girlfriend before Christmas so they can take their, now annual, vacation someplace warm…? Hmmm. No judgement here, she thinks. A holiday is a holiday anywhere away from where you live, right. 

Ooops…sounding judgy, or bitchy, or whatever. 

Tessa knows she’s getting a little snitty because, since the Christmas show, the texts from Scott have been non-existent. She knows she shouldn’t be upset since he was certainly there for her when she needed him, and would be there for her again if she asked. But she can’t ask can she? So is it him thinking she doesn’t need him anymore?

She moves ahead with her Christmas plans and is starting to feel a little more like herself than she has in a long time. It’s hard thinking of what might have been, but she’s determined to celebrate Christmas and move forward. She ends up postponing her vacation until after Christmas because of some conflicts in scheduling, but she really doesn’t mind. She wants to free up her schedule into the New Year, so waiting a bit is not too big of a sacrifice. 

Her family is celebrating at her Mother’s house Christmas day and it will be a full on feast with all the trimmings. She calls Sally to see what she can bring on Christmas Eve and Sally says to just bring herself. Tess was happy to hear that Janey was indeed coming, and she’s excited to hear how she is and what’s she’s been up to. 

Tess still has some last minute shopping to do and she wants to make time to stop at the Moir’s, preferably before Scott and his girlfriend come home, if they are coming. She doesn’t ask. And she’s way out of the loop at this point. 

Tessa has always made a point on her travels to pick up gifts that would be original, and not something that could be picked up anywhere. She has a beautiful silk scarf she’s giving to Sally, and she knows the colours are the exact palette she wears, and she’s excited to see it on her. 

Jim enjoys smoking the odd cigar and so she visited his favourite shop to see if they have any suggestions for him. She leaves with a sampler gift pack, and a whisky glass with a cigar indent. She thinks he’ll love the first and laugh at the latter. Janey is a little harder. 

Suddenly Tess remembers the photos that the photographer she hired for Ryan’s birthday sent her. She’s been too upset to really pay too much attention to them, but now she goes and gets out the envelope and spreads them out on the table. 

One in particular stands out to her and she smiles as she looks at it in spite of her sadness.   
Janey, Ryan, Tess, Jim and Sally, in a line in that order, with their arms around each other all bent over in laughter. Everyone is looking at the camera and all in a hilarious state of euphoria. It’s perfection.

Tess laughs and cries at the same time looking at the image. It sums them all up perfectly. A family. She runs out and purchases three simple frames with the word ‘Family’ underneath and has copies of the photo printed in an 8 x 10 black and white format and she is so happy with the result. Janey’s will be a Christmas gift, along with some decadent chocolates, but the photo is too wonderful to not share with Jim and Sally. And of course, she needs one too.

 

Tess has now made plans to travel to Paris after Christmas, but she really doesn’t know what‘s in store for her after that. She has a meeting with the lawyers on January 27th, but she hopes she will have made a few decisions by then about what she is going to do and where she is going to live. Lots to think about.

 

On Christmas Eve Tessa posts a picture of her, Janey, Sally and Jim celebrating with a toast on Instagram. She entitles it “My Family.” Scott looks at the photo and it brings tears to his eyes. He knows Tess thought she would be making a life with Ryan, and it breaks his heart to think that she will never be able to see that relationship come to fruition. He surprises himself with that thought, but he’s honest enough to realize it’s likely because he knows Tess will never have that life with Ryan, and that makes him feel even worse. 

Meanwhile, he and his girlfriend had been partying hardy in Florida and the Dominican up until Christmas and now he’s home in Ilderton without her, celebrating with his family. The fact that they took their trip meant that she wasn’t able to get the actual Christmas holiday off to fly here, but they figured it was worth it to get the chance to be together for two straight weeks. But was it? Scott is now home with his family and watching everyone together is pretty hard without his girlfriend here. 

He sees that Tess has already been to visit and given everyone a small gift. They don’t exchange gifts, but when he looks under the tree after all the gifts were handed out he sees a gift addressed to him in her writing and bends over to pick it up. 

The tiny card says, “Merry Christmas to the World’s Greatest Partner. You know that right?” He smiles, and opens the gift. It’s a small frame that shows him and Tess at age 7 and 9, holding on to each other for dear life at their first competition. There’s an engraved inscription across the bottom of the frame “The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship”. 

On the flip side of the tiny card is written “Only you matter,” love T xo.” 

A tear slides down his cheek. T whispering those words to him has been a lifesaver to him in the past. He can’t believe he has let her get away and his heart aches as he looks at the thoughtful gift she has given him. Okay, so they’re not together, but what about their friendship? He looks back at the frame and it isn’t lost on him that she used the word “Friendship” not “Partnership.” He would never in a million years have believed they would feel so broken. But here they are. 

He doesn’t even know how she is, or where she is. 

He takes out his wallet and slips the little card inside, because the way things stand now, he doesn’t believe he’ll ever hear those words from her again.

Even though Scott has spent most of his free time away from Canada he knows everyone is keeping tabs on him. Quite frankly, he doesn’t really care anymore. Their amateur career is over; even though they haven’t officially retired, he doesn’t think he owes anyone anymore than he has already given. He and his girlfriend live a pretty quiet life in Florida and he’s good with that. No matter that most of the fandom can’t believe that how easily he turned his back on Canada, according to them, he still tries to keep his mouth shut on social media and not rise to the bait.

 

Tessa on the other hand is everywhere. And of course, Scott notices. She’s at the opening of sporting events, fashion shows, charity events, etc. and he wonders how she finds the time. 

Then suddenly, after Christmas, there’s nothing. 

He can’t believe she’s flying so far under the radar after all of the hoopla she had going in December. 

No one seems to have any information; except for the fact that she said she wanted to take some time to herself in the New Year. Not even their rabid fans on social media seem to know anything. Scott has to accept this because he doesn’t have anyone in Tessa’s camp that he can count on to give him any inside information. 

His Mom is still close with Kate, but if she knows something she’s not saying. She made it clear to Scott that she would not be his information hotline. She thinks it’s ridiculously sad that they don’t keep in touch, but if he wants to know what’s up with Tess he has her number. Use it. So he doesn’t ask.

Tess, meanwhile, is in Paris. She loves this city and she knows it’s the perfect place for her to make some tough decisions. One thing she has decided to do is to look for a four-season cottage of her own. Somewhere not too far away from her family, but also far enough that it’s a refuge. It will be a great investment for her, and a perfect little hideaway, she hopes. She enlists a realtor and emphasizes her need of privacy for both the purchase and the location of the cottage. 

She finds someone she has confidence in and since then she has been looking at pictures and narrowing down her choices while she’s been in Paris. Her agent has been honest with her about the need to be ready to pull the trigger if she finds something wonderful, because it won’t last, and Tessa is ready to leave at a moment’s notice for the right place. 

She has given the realtor a cheque so that she could put a down payment on a cottage until she gets there, but even so, she doesn’t want to lose a deposit on an unsuitable property.

Celeste, her agent, calls her all excited on January 22nd because she thinks she has the perfect place for her. It needs work, but it’s a great price and meets her criteria almost to a T. “Pun intended.” she says. Tess has never heard her so excited and she grabs her laptop to check it out. 

She hops on a plane the next morning and her agent takes her for a private showing. Tessa is in love. It has all the quaint charm that she’s looking for, with enough quirkiness to be considered a real cottage. It’s right on the water, and has enough property to be completely private. It only has two bedrooms and one bathroom, but Tessa knows the contractor that renovated her London house is up to the challenge of making this the cottage of her dreams. 

Open concept kitchen great room, four bedrooms, three baths, two bunkies and a boathouse. She’s so excited that she’s ready to sign on the dotted line right now. Celeste tells her to get her contractor on the phone and see if he can see it asap so that they can be sure all those renovations can be done. 

She suggests they put in an offer that is contingent on them getting building approval and financing. She knows there’s no worry for Tessa there, but it adds to the legitimacy of the offer. Tessa agrees. The realtor also suggests that she add a privacy codicil to the contract to ensure that everyone isn’t privy to her intentions. Tessa appreciates the care Celeste is taking on her behalf and gives her a spontaneous hug. “Lets do it!” Tessa says, and pulls out her phone and calls her contractor Mitch who tells her he can come out this afternoon if that works. 

Celeste calls the owner while Mitch is listening to Tessa telling him about her plans and how excited she is. She also asks him not to tell anyone about the project and he tells her he will keep her confidence. The owners are on board, as they had no plans to be at the cottage this month anyway. They are an older couple with no children and the cottage has just become too much for them. 

Mitch comes to the cottage right away and checks it over. He says that its in great condition for what it is…a small cottage. He tells Tessa his rough ideas for what they can, and cannot do, and she seems to be on board. The bunkies could likely be purchased cheaper than built, and they can modify them to fit her specifications. He makes a trip to the Town Hall while Celeste and Tessa talk over design ideas and furniture already. When Mitch returns he has a smile on his face and Tessa is over the moon. She hugs them both and tells them that they can’t know what this means to her. 

“When can we start?” she says laughing. “Well, you have to own it first. Celeste says, Lets start there.”

They offer a little under asking, but not much. Tessa doesn’t want to offend the sellers, and besides, she thinks the price is a fair one. They accept immediately and the sale goes through at record speed. Construction starts before the ink is barely even dry despite the fact that it’s winter. There’s a lot of demo to be done and Mitch has some free time so he thinks he should get as much done as possible. They find suitable bunkies online for what Tessa has envisioned and he gets them ordered right away.

Tessa sees her dream coming together and she can’t wait. It’s hard not to talk about it, but she does want it to be her private retreat and so that makes it a bit easier. Even with the proposed renovation costs, the cottage still comes in under what she thought she would have to pay, and that’s exciting. She negotiates with suppliers and loves it. Mitch says she should come and work for him, but she tells him he can’t afford her!

Scott’s in Florida and hears through the grapevine that Tessa is back in London. The grapevine being Charlie. He takes pity on Scott and gives him a call. He tells him he ran into her at the grocery store and had a nice visit. Scott asks where she had been and Charlie answered that he has no idea. He didn’t ask. He just wanted to know how she was and she said she was good, although he thought she looked pretty thin. 

 

“Well, has she been sick?” Scott asks and Charlie hesitates. “What the fuck Scott, it was an observation of mine. I wasn’t going to interrogate her. I shouldn’t have even told you. From now on if you want to know something ask her yourself.” 

“Charlie, I’m sorry, Scott says, I do appreciate you letting me know. I really do. I’m just worried.” 

“Well, evidently not worried enough to call and ask how she is though, right? Are you avoiding calling her so you don’t have to tell her your news? If she finds out from someone else it’s going to hurt her even more, you know that don’t you?”

“I realize that, but thanks for pointing it out. He says sarcastically. It’s not something I want to tell her over the phone anyway. I guess, if she’s in London, I’ll fly home and go see her.”

“Think you’ll get permission?” Charlie asks only partly in jest.

“Fuck off Charlie. Scott says, but he also knows it’s going to cause an argument no matter what, but he’s going to do it anyway. I’ll see you hopefully tomorrow.”

“Okay, Charlie says, good idea, because I wouldn’t count on her hanging around too long. She seems to have some plans in motion so she could be gone by the time you get here.”

“What makes you think that? Scott says, Did she say that she was leaving again?”

“I told you that I didn’t ask her that kind of shit, it’s just my impression. I gotta go. Let me know when you get home. This is still your home right?”

Scott ignores the jab and tells Charlie that he’ll see him either tomorrow, or the next day. He’ll just have to hope that Charlie’s “impression” is wrong and that T plans to hopefully be around for a few more days.

Scott goes online right away and sees that he can get a flight out first thing tomorrow morning and he purchases a ticket and starts packing a bag. His girlfriend should be home shortly and he wants to be ready so after they argue, which he knows they will, he won’t have to walk around packing, he’ll already be done.

She gets home, they do argue, he sleeps on the couch and is off to the airport first thing in the morning. He has to say he feels a little nervous and excited knowing he’s going to see T again. He’s missed her. He wishes his girlfriend wouldn’t flip out over every little thing to do with Tessa, but he doesn’t believe that’s going to change anytime soon. 

He’s promised her that he will only stay a couple of days and then he’ll be back, but he’s sure she’ll likely be tracking him through friends or social media. He already has a headache thinking about it. The nice part is he also gets to see his family again. He misses them. Once his career was over his plan was to spend more time with his family, and that sure hasn’t happened. Florida is quickly losing its appeal for him that’s for sure, and the chances of them moving back any time soon seem to be slim to none. But he’s not giving up.

Tessa’s phone rings and she looks down and sees that it’s Scott. Her heartbeat quickens as she takes a deep breath and answers.

“Hey Scott, how are you?” Tess says as she answers the phone. 

“Good, good, Scott replies, You? It’s been awhile.” His heart swells just hearing her voice.

Tessa tells him she’s been busy, but doing well. Scott continues on to say that he’s home for a couple days and wonders if they can get together. 

Tessa says “Sure, where and when?”

Scott knows he doesn’t want to talk to her in public, so he suggests either one of their homes. She tells him to come to her house because she is getting the feeling this is going to be a tough conversation and would like to feel comfortable when she hears it. They make a plan to get together that evening. Scott tells her that he’ll be there around 7pm if that works, and she agrees.

They disconnect and both are left staring at their phones. They both miss each other terribly, but neither one is looking forward to getting together tonight. 

It feels like a door is closing, and there’s nothing they can do about it.


	26. The Best Laid Plans..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott realizes it's time to talk to Tessa before someone else beats him to it. He really doesn't want to, but he's left with no choice.

Tess tries to keep herself busy and not think about why Scott might be coming to talk to her. She does some cleaning up and also takes another look at the plans for the cottage. She checks her email and Mitch has sent her some pictures of their progress. It’s really coming along great and she wants it to be ready sooner rather than later. Her eyes fall on a box of Ryan’s belongings that Sally gave her on Christmas Eve. 

“Tess dear I hate to burden you with this, she had said, but these personal items of Ryan’s were dropped off here and I don’t have the heart to go through them, but I just don’t want to just get rid of them. Do you think you might be able to look at them?” Tessa was caught off guard. She really didn’t give a thought to the personal items he had with him. She looked at Sally and couldn’t say no, so she said she would. 

“If you find something amongst his things that you believe I should know, or should have, I trust your judgement to give it to me. Otherwise, if you wouldn’t mind, I would really appreciate not having to do it.” Sally says.

Tess looked at the box, and right on top she saw his grandfathers watch, which he loved. She wants to have it for so many reasons. She asked Sally outright if she would mind if she kept the watch and Sally replied that she would love for Tess to have it, and quite frankly, anything else in the box. “My memories are etched on my heart, she tells Tessa. I trust you to do what you feel best with these items. Thank you so much.” She says as she pulls Tess into a hug.

Tessa has to admit she had pushed the box aside when she came home and hasn’t thought about it again. She guesses it’s because she also doesn’t want to find out anything else that Ryan might have kept from her. She pulls out his wallet with his identification in it and she holds it over her heart. He has receipts in it that, as far as she can tell, he didn’t need to keep, but just stuck them in there as he got them. Some money, phone numbers and business cards, etc. She sits the wallet aside. 

She comes across his cufflinks. Who wears cufflinks these days? Well, Ryan did. He loved the look, and Tess loved the look on him. She sits them aside in the keep pile. Then she sees his phone. The battery has obviously died, but he has an iPhone just like Tessa’s. She knows his message by heart because she called his phone more than once to hear his voice when she first got the news. She stands up and takes it over to her charger and plugs it in. It takes a minute and then it grumbles to life and shows the little charge icon on the front. 

Tessa sits it on the top of her mantle and, quite frankly, forgets about it. She takes the box and disposes of some of the contents. The receipts, papers about prescriptions and supplies, etc. she sits aside to ask Janey’s advice about. At the end of it all she’s left with only the cufflinks, his wallet, phone, and his grandfather’s watch. What a pitiful waste of a brilliant life she thinks.

It also reminds her that she still has Ryan’s apartment to go through and put up for sale. She can’t wait much longer on that because she doesn’t have that kind of time to waste. Jordan and Janey both offered to help, but she accepted Janey’s help to go through the apartment, and asked Jordan if she would help with organizing taking some donations of his clothes etc. after they were finished. Jordan understood where she was coming from. She knew it will be emotional for Tess and Janey, and she agreed that they should have their privacy as they went through his belongings.

Tessa looks up at the clock and sees that it’s already almost 7 and Scott will be here shortly. She goes into the living room and she waits. She finds herself feeling a little sick to her stomach wondering what he’s going to say. Suddenly she hears the doorbell and she makes her way over to let him in.

They look at each other a little awkwardly for a moment, and then they just hug. They hold on to each other tight and just melt into each other’s arms. Their emotions are bubbling up to the surface and Tessa starts to laugh nervously and backs away. Scott smiles at her and tells her he’s missed her. They laugh and she steps aside and lets him into the house. 

She leads him into the living room and asks him what she can get him to drink. He says a beer would be great, and she asks if a craft beer would be all right, and he says that would be great. She comes out with a chilled mug and a can of craft beer along with her own drink in a wine glass. They actually toast each other. “Happy New Year” Tessa says, with a touch of irony owing to the fact that it’s already almost the end of January. 

They tap glasses and Scott takes a sip and tells her it’s good. “How have you been? He says, it’s been a while since we’ve talked. Are you doing well?”

She looks at him like he’s a stranger. “Sure, I’ve been good. You?”

“Yep, everything is good,” he says. And he looks down as he wrings his hands in his lap, a sure sign that he’s nervous, and Tessa can’t stand it any longer.

“What’s up Scott? What have you come here to tell me? I don’t think I can listen to you trying to make small talk between us while we tip toe around the main issue.” 

“My girlfriend is pregnant.”

Tessa looks at him like she can’t understand what he’s saying, like he’s speaking in a foreign language. 

“Sorry, she almost stutters, I must have misheard you.”

“My girlfriend is pregnant.” He repeats. He doesn’t embellish, or offer any excuses and she’s struck dumb for a few minutes.

“Your girlfriend is pregnant? You planned this?” she asks incredulously. 

He feels her anger bubbling up, and this is the main reason he delayed talking to her. He was actually semi prepared for this. In all their years they have had so many in depth conversations about life and he has always been very adamant about how he would never get himself in a situation like this.

“Well, yes, he says. And no, we didn’t plan it, but it happened and she’s due in the middle of July.” He sees her processing this and he knows what she’s thinking.

He thinks he knows, but he doesn’t. In fact, he really can’t even begin to know what she’s thinking now. Her mind is spinning for a variety of reasons, most of which he knows nothing about. 

“The baby is unplanned, but won’t be unwanted Tess,” he says thinking he’s softening the blow.”

She takes a minute then whispers, “You fucking hypocrite.”

He tries to head her off. “This is different Tess. He continues, Come on, you know it is. It’s not us being teens with our whole competitive lives ahead of us. I know I was an asshole then, I realize that now, but you have to admit this is different.”

Tessa is stunned into silence for a moment and then she gets her second wind. “What do you want me to say? Congratulations?” 

“Please T, please don’t,” he pleads as he watches the tears spilling down her cheeks.

“I expected maybe an engagement, she says, but not this, not from you. How did you think I would react?” 

“Well, he says, I knew you’d be mad, and hurt, but I just didn’t want you to find out from someone else. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to make it worse than I already have.”

“Too late. She says I really can’t even stand to look at you. And by now she’s crying so hard she’s heaving and she stands up from the couch holding her stomach. I can’t believe you’ve let yourself become permanently tied to someone I know you don’t love. You can’t love her, you just can’t.” she cries and she shakes head. 

“Stop it Tess. He pleads with her, stop! You’re making yourself sick.” 

She knows she’s over-reacting for so, so, many reasons, but she honestly didn’t expect this. She expected him to say he was engaged. Engaged. Not suddenly permanently tied to that person for life. It’s overwhelmed her. 

She looks up at him, so vulnerable with tears streaming down her cheeks and he grabs her and pulls her roughly into him and kisses her. He kisses her with all the passion he’s felt coursing through his veins all these years and he feels her respond as she grabs onto him for dear life. They kiss and almost devour each other. His heart is exploding and he slides his hands down her back and pulls her tightly against him. He moves his hand to her breast and suddenly stops, stunned, and steps away from her. 

“Oh T, I’m so sorry, he says, his voice a hoarse whisper. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I love you Scott.” She whispers as she looks into his eyes.

“I love you too T, you know I do, but we can’t do this.”

“No Scott. I’m in love with you. I always have been, and I imagine I always will be.” She says quietly and puts her head down.

He’s stunned, and for a moment he can’t take it in. 

“You’re in love with me? She won’t look at him so he grabs her and pulls her to him and she looks up. You’re in love with me? He whispers with tears in his eyes. Why did you wait till now to tell me that? Seriously Tess, why now?” 

“Very likely the same reason you choose now to treat me like more than a friend. Now, when it’s impossible for us to be together. Now, when you’ve committed your life to someone else. Likely it’s because now we see it for what it is, our last chance.”

He doesn’t speak, and so she does. 

“You’d better leave Scott, before we do something we…” 

“Please T, don’t. If I’d known that you loved me it would have made all the difference.”

She doesn’t answer for a moment. She knows that she’s as bad as him in that regard. 

“Would you have left your girlfriend for me?” She whispers, not knowing if she wants to know the answer, but has to ask anyway.

“Yes. He says without hesitation. I’ve always thought I wasn’t good enough for you, but mostly I was afraid if you knew I loved you and you couldn’t love me I would lose you forever. I couldn’t bear that. Knowing now that we could have been together makes this even worse. What can I do? he pleads. As bad as I sounded when I argued about an unplanned pregnancy, I still believe that you have to take the responsibility to try and give that child the best life you can. And, for me, that still means being a family.”

She cries as she hears his decision and turns away from him. “Please just leave Scott. You’ve made your choice and I’ll live with it”

 

He steps over to her, hugs her from behind and nestles into her neck, breathes her in and whispers to her that he will always love her more than anyone. He kisses her neck and leaves, and as soon as she hears the door close, Tessa falls to her knees on the floor and sobs.

Danny and Charlie were just worried Tess was going to be hurt when she found out his girlfriend was pregnant, but Scott knows her better than they do. He knows she’ll be hurt, but he also knew she would be mad. He had been such a prick over the years talking about this very same situation. Nothing Tess could say would change his mind or soften his position that they had the responsibility to not find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. They owed it to themselves and to any baby that might result in their carelessness.

He was young and cocky and thought he knew it all. But one thing he knew for sure, if Tess got pregnant that would be the end of their career, and he never failed to remind her about it. As a result, she kept most of her relationships private. Mostly to keep their relationship good, and also keep Scott off her back.

And now? Well now, as an adult, he’s the guy who gets someone pregnant. He knew she’d be pissed, hurt, and disappointed in him. That’s why he didn’t want to tell her, but he never expected this to be the outcome of his visit he thinks as he stands outside on her steps. 

Knowing she loves him is exhilarating and heart breaking at the same time. He doesn’t believe he could ever even entertain the idea of being with Tess and co parenting his child with his girlfriend, yet here he is thinking about it. He shakes his head and looks back at Tessa’s door. He wants nothing more than to go back in and hold her and make love to her and forget everyone and everything else. 

He knows he can’t, but he also knows this is a major turning point in his life, and yet, all he can do is go home. 

He gets back to his house and his brother Danny stops by to see how he made out. Scott is just sitting quietly on his couch looking straight ahead as Danny lets himself in the front door.

Danny asks him how it went; even though it seems pretty obvious, but he wants some details.

“Terrible.” Scott replies.

“How so, Danny presses. What did Tess say?”

“She told me she was in love with me.” Scott replies as a stray tear makes it’s way down his cheek.

Aw fuck, Danny thinks. He certainly didn’t expect this, so he can imagine how Scott feels. Of course Danny has always known that Tess loved Scott, but he’s still shocked that she picked now to tell him.

“I’m sorry Scott, Danny says. But you know you’re both going to have to move forward now. That opportunity for you is gone. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t wish things were different, but you have to move on.”

“Why didn’t I take a chance with Tess Danny? He asks. Why didn’t I just step up?”

Danny tells him that he doesn’t know, but Tess didn’t take that chance either. He says he imagines it has to do with the strange relationship that they’ve had over all their years together. Maybe they just couldn’t trust that their love was real and not just something practiced or manufactured over time until neither of them could really trust their feelings anymore. 

Scott thinks about this and it comes about the closest to an answer that he can actually believe. 

“Come on, Danny says, lets go to Mom and Dad’s, you can’t sit here all alone and depressed. When do you have to go back to Florida?”

Scott gets up from the couch and wipes the tears from his face with his sleeve. “Well, I said I’d be a couple of days, and I’m going to take them. I’ll check tomorrow and see what flights are available later in the week. Danny, he says, please don’t mention this to anyone else. The only thing worse than knowing Tess loves me and I can’t have her, is having everyone else know.” 

“I’ve kept that secret for this long, so I’m pretty sure it’s still safe with me now.” He says. And Scott looks at him and realizes that it’s true. If only he had listened to his brother earlier his life would be so different now. But hindsight is 20/20, and being an idiot doesn’t help.


	27. Home at last....a new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the cottage finished Tessa settles into her new life...a life without Scott and skating. Can she make a go of it?

The next morning, after her talk with Scott, Tess realizes that she has to start taking better care of herself and move on. 

Wallowing in self-pity, and not eating properly is making her unhealthy and miserable. To that end, she makes a visit to Maureen at the gym. She has a heart to heart talk with her that leads to a few tears and a big hug. Over the years Maureen has listened to Tess, and Scott, unburden themselves while they worked out. She has become almost a therapist for both of them at different stages of their relationship. She keeps their conversations to herself and gives them excellent advice and support unconditionally. They both love her. Maureen tells her that she will work out a plan for Tessa to stay in shape wherever she is, something that will be easy for her to follow whether she’s at home, or travelling. She tells her she will email it to her right away. Tessa thanks her and is rewarded with one more, big hug as she leaves the gym.  
Tess then spends the last week of January at the cottage finalizing all the little details. She can’t believe how quickly this project has come together, and she has Mitch to thank for it all. He knew she was anxious to be finished and, with her permission, he hired on other trades to make sure the job was finished as quickly as possible. That helped tremendously, and also the fact that they were blessed with some decent weather when they needed it most.

Tessa has actually been looking, mostly online, for furnishing and decorations already. They are almost to the point of picking out paint! She loves Joanna Gaines farmhouse style, and she’s also a big fan of Canadian designer Sarah Richardson. And to that end, she’s doing a lot of online shopping on Wayfair and picking up some signature pieces on Magnolia Market’s website. She loves flexing her designer muscles in a space that she wants to become a home. Something that is more cottagey casual than her London home.

She tries her best not to think about Scott moving on with his life without her, but every time she sits down and has a quiet moment it’s all about him. The way she felt when he took her in his arms and actually kissed her. Kissed her in a way that, she knew, would definitely lead to something more.

She checks her email and sees a message from their agent Russell. It’s a reminder of an obligation they made much earlier to skate at a fundraiser in Montreal. Tessa had forgotten all about it. It was a commitment they made to Patch and Marie France, actually a promise, and she believes they have to keep it.

She looks further down in her emails and sees one from Scott. She hesitates and then opens it.

Dear Tess, he starts, I’m sure this is the last thing you want to be doing, but I’m not sure we can cancel at this late date. I’m sure we could put together a program to fulfil our obligation to these two wonderful friends who have given us so much over our career. What do you think? Waiting your reply.

Scott.

 

Of course she agrees with him, but he doesn’t know everything that’s going on in her life. To be fair, she doesn’t know exactly what’s going on in his either. She decides to do it but she doesn’t look forward to being that close to Scott again, and yet she does. That being said, she knows she owes Patch and Marie France this favour, at a bare minimum, so she agrees. The crazy thing is that it is only a week away. How will they get something together that fast?

She emails Scott and tells him she agrees with him that they have to fulfil their commitment, but what will they do and when can they practice? He tells her that they could practice at the Ilderton arena for a few days and that the best they can do is incorporate some of their old programs together and hope for the best. Does she agree? She does, and they plan to meet for their first practice the day after tomorrow early in the morning to get the ice time.

Tessa gets a lot accomplished in the next two days and is feeling pretty good about how quickly things are coming together. When she arrives at the arena all the old feelings come back in a big rush for her. Scott’s waiting for her by the boards and he pulls her into a hug. They keep it professional and start immediately into figuring out what program they can adapt for the show. The workout program that Maureen had made for her has Tessa feeling confident. She’s actually feeling the best she has in a long time, and it shows.

Midway through their rehearsal Scott’s girlfriend enters the arena and Tessa almost laughs out loud when she sees her. She shouldn’t be surprised that she has to come to their “early morning” practice to keep an eye on Scott, but she still is.

Scott looks at Tessa in an apologetic way and tries to ignore the fact that his girlfriend has made an appearance. They continue to plan out their program, and by the end of the session they believe they have put something together that will be both appealing and easy enough to have planned out by show time. 

When they’re done Scott gives Tess a hug and she makes her way off the ice and takes off her skates and heads for home. They agreed to meet again tomorrow, and Tess is sure that she’s in for another visit by his girlfriend and she’s not mistaken.

Throughout the week she has been meeting Janey and going through Ryan’s apartment. He lived life pretty simply. He had very nice things but he was definitely a minimalist. Some of the things like the fancy coffee maker etc. Tessa decides to take to the cottage, most impersonal items she donates. He has a beautiful artwork collection, which she puts in storage after asking Janey and Jordan to pick out their favourite and take them home. 

Jordan comes through for her by organizing the delivery of the donations and soon the apartment is empty and the three of them take one last look, have a bit of a cry, and head out.

At night Tess does some more online shopping and then is ready to hit the hay. She sees her phone needs to be charged and immediately looks to her spare charger and sees Ryan’s phone attached to it. She walks over and unplugs it from the charger and plugs her own phone in. 

She looks at Ryan’s phone and remembers that he gave her his password at one point to collect a message for him. What was it, she thinks. Something strange. doctor something. Who. That’s what it was, she thinks as she types it in and nothing happens. She tries again, but this time just ‘drwho’ and immediately the phone opens to her. 

There’s a ton of unread messages and she starts to read them and feels the tears falling but she can’t stop. Her mind goes back to the letter from Ryan and she goes to her safe and pulls out the crumpled letter and forces herself to read it again.

 

Dear Tess,

If you’re reading this the worst-case scenario has happened. I expected to be happily engaged to you by now, and here I am writing you a letter that makes me sick to compose.

You’re all I ever wanted. Please believe me. I have loved you from the moment I met you. 

I couldn’t propose because I cheated on you. You. The person I love more than life itself. I truly mean that, although it sounds so hollow now. A selfish drunken act ruined my chance to be happy with you. You can’t know how I have beaten myself up since then.

I’m so sorry for being such a coward, but I couldn’t tell you and then leave. I needed to believe that maybe we still had a chance, that you might forgive me. I also couldn’t bear have you hate me.

Tess, this person meant nothing to me. Nothing. Please don’t judge me too harshly. I write this because I couldn’t have you believing I was something I’m not. 

I truly loved you with all my heart, but in reality I didn’t deserve your love.

I hope you can find it in your heart forgive me, 

Love Ryan

 

Tessa reads the letter and folds it back up with tears falling from her eyes. Would she have forgiven him? She honestly has no idea, and now she’ll never know. But what she does know is that she’ll be tied to him forever. She did love him. She loved him more than she ever thought she could love someone that wasn’t Scott. She looks back at his phone and starts to scroll through the messages. 

She sees a bunch from the person who is obviously the girl Ryan cheated with. Unknown. Tessa certainly isn’t any IT genius and all she has to do is scroll through the messages to realize that Ryan really didn’t want to talk to her but she was persistent. She decides not to check his email tonight. She’s tired, and really can’t think about this anymore. Tessa takes the phone and throws it into her purse and tries to clear her mind. She puts the letter back into the safe and goes in and has a shower and goes to bed. 

She has to meet up with Scott again tomorrow and it seems to take all the strength she has to skate with him and then leave him. She longs for the day when she’s at her cottage and doesn’t have to see him, even though it’s the best part of her day.

She gets to the arena early and meets up with Alma who is just finishing up a class. She skates over to Tessa and pulls her into a hug. “How are you doing Tess?” she asks and Tessa feels an emotional tug on her heart. “Good, she says, good. How are you?”

“The same, Alma replies. She wears her emotions on her sleeve just like Scott. She starts to tear up and pulls Tessa into a hug. “You know we miss you like crazy, she says to Tess and then adds, when are you going to come and visit us?”

Tess knows she’s just being polite. But there’s no way she can come and visit when Scott’s girlfriend is there. 

“Well, Tess says, let me know a date and I’ll be there,” she says. And she really means it. She loves the Moirs, and one in particular.

They have their last practice before leaving for the show and again, Scott’s girlfriend is there. What the fuck, Tessa thinks. Does she have nothing better to do? Regardless, there she sits, on her phone, not paying too much attention to them, but still keeping her eye on them.

With practice over Tess takes off her skates beside Scott and suddenly starts rooting through her purse and pulls out her lipstick and begins applying it as she hears an incoming text to someone’s phone. Scott’s girlfriend picks up her phone and checks the message. Tessa is stunned. 

She watches as she looks at her phone and then drops it into her purse like it’s poison. Tess has a hard time not staring at her. She dips back into her purse again and roots around and pulls out her mirror as she checks her lipstick and the alert sounds and this time his girlfriend completely ignores it, but you can see that she’s upset, and that she can’t get away fast enough. 

Tessa picks up her bag and follows her out of the stands to the ladies room. She gets in and his girlfriend is in a cubicle. Tessa holds her breath and texts again and she hears the familiar sound and looks at Ryan’s phone as she receives a text with a ? 

Scott’s girlfriend hears the reply sound and opens the cubicle door and comes face to face with Tessa.

Neither speaks. Tessa can’t even begin to comprehend what she should say to this person. 

His girlfriend tries to say something, but nothing comes out. Tessa turns and starts out of the washroom and Scott’s girlfriend calls out to her.

“Tessa, what are you going to do?” she yells. 

“I have no idea”, she says quietly to no one in particular as she quickly walks back to get her skates. 

Scott tells her goodbye and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Tessa knows they’re being watched and she resists the urge to whisper in his ear as he hugs her. She leaves the arena and keeps going until she gets home. She takes off all of her practice gear and hops into a warm bath and she can’t even cry anymore. ‘Oh Ryan, she thinks, why her? Why? She really had imagined it was someone she didn’t know. A hook-up at a convention. It’s only now she remembers that at least one of those conventions was in Florida. She finishes her bath and climbs out, dries off and hops into bed mentally exhausted but there’s no way she can sleep.

She gets a message from Scott and they meet up in Montreal for their show. Of course his girlfriend is there, and she doesn’t let him out of her sight. She spends her time staring at Tessa like a deer in the headlights. Scott comes over to her and Tessa lets him pull her in for their hug and she doesn’t want to let go. Their performance isn’t their best, but they give it their all emotionally and the audience appreciates them for it. 

When they finish they go back out for an encore and then they skate over to Patrice and Marie France and give them a hug and pose for a picture with them. Marie France especially notices that something is not right and looks at Tessa who averts her eyes and smiles for the camera. 

They skate away and Marie France’ eyes follows them off the ice and sees that they go their separate ways and she feels immediately sad. She looks at Patch and sees that he notices the same thing. What has happened to their friends, she thinks sadly. 

Tessa finds herself alone with Scott’s girlfriend after the show and she corners her and asks what she plans on doing with the information she has. Tessa has thought long and hard about this and informs her that she’s not going to do anything with it. 

“But you are, Tessa says. From everything you wrote to Ryan you made it sound like you thought it was his baby, and you told him that. I want you to go to his parents and tell them of the possibility. This would be their grandchild, if it were true. And they deserve to know. And you will have to tell Scott if it isn’t his child.” 

“So you’re basically clearing the way for yourself and Scott aren’t you? She says, what gives you the right to tell me what to do?” 

“I’m the person who has all your texts and harassing emails on the phone of my boyfriend who you slept with. Tessa replies quietly. And if you don’t tell them, I will. And that includes Scott.” And she walks away.

 

“Tessa gets back home and is immediately throws herself back in to the cottage project. She has tons of deliveries to go through for the cottage and she’s more than ready to immerse herself totally into the renovation. She finds that more and more she’s at the cottage sorting through deliveries or orchestrating a change in the renovation plan. And she loves it. 

Tessa hears from Sally the first week of March. Scott’s girlfriend had contacted them and she thanks Tess for making sure that they are aware of the possibility of this grandchild, even though she knows how deeply this affects her life. 

“I’m so sorry, Sally says. I knew something was wrong and weighing on Ryan’s conscious, I just didn’t know what. He loved you so much Tess, he really did. I know it sounds insincere now, and I’m not trying to make an excuse for him, but I know he did.”

“I believe that too Sally. I wish I never had to tell you, I wish even more that I never had to know.”

Sally goes on to tell her that they’re having a paternity test done immediately and should know in about a week or so. She and Jim will be sending in their samples as well as the baby’s mother. She doesn’t know about Scott. She has no idea if he knows or not but, Sally continues, if I were him I would like to be sure myself.” 

“Well, Tess tells Sally, that isn’t something that I want us to be involved in.” And Sally agrees. She knows Tessa loves Scott, and she can’t say now that she would mind seeing them together. She wants Tess to be happy, but there’s so much more involved now, and she plans to stay completely out of that complicated relationship. 

Tessa has a bit of a cry knowing that she has opened the door to letting Scott’s girlfriend into her life, if it is Ryan’s child, but she also knows that she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t let Sally and Jim know about the possibility of a grandchild now that they have lost their only child. 

By the middle of March the cottage is ready to move in to and Tess leaves immediately. 

She calls and tells Sally she’s leaving and Sally cries. “You’ll keep us in the loop won’t you Tess. We worry about you, and love you so very much! Tessa assures them that she will call them so much they’ll be sick of her, then tells her to give Jim a hug and hangs up.

Except for immediate family, no one else even knows about this cottage except her realtor and contractor. She pulls into the long driveway, steps out of the car and takes a deep breath, and smiles.


	28. The Results are in..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to head and Scott's life turns on a dime. Buckle up.

Scott is missing the structure he had in his life when he was competing. He couldn’t wait for time off to relax, but now, four months in, he wants to get back to work. He’s been smart about his time off during this break, and has been working out in the gym daily. He also has made a few friends there and plays some baseball and even some pick up soccer games. The weather here certainly is conducive to outdoor sports, but he’s missing home. 

He wants his baby to be born in Canada, but his girlfriend is fighting him on this. Her argument is that the baby will already be entitled to Canadian citizenship, so they should have the baby in Florida. Scott doesn’t care about that. He wants his child to have the pride in Canada that he has, so he hasn’t given up yet.

She’s still working, but she’s finding it getting more difficult the further along she gets in the pregnancy. He tells her they can afford for her to take the time off, but she resists saying she wants to work as long as she can. She’s now five months along, and with four more to go it seems like it’s going to be a long haul. He tries to make life easier for her, but lately she seems to be angry all the time.

Tonight when she came home and he ran her a bath and she soaks all her aches away. He went into the kitchen to check on dinner and he hears her phone ping. He thinks he’ll take it in to her and then he sees the text message pop up on the screen.

‘Test results are in. Let us know when you can come and we will book your flight. The sooner the better please. S.”

What test Scott thinks as he puts the phone back down on the table. Is something wrong with the baby and she’s not telling him? Is something wrong with her?

He can’t get the text out of his mind. Who is S?

Scott makes sure to be around when she picks up her phone and reads the message. She does, but she just tucks her phone in the pocket of her robe and asks what they should have for dinner.

By the next morning she still hasn’t said anything that would give him a clue as to what’s going on. Because she works long shifts she has the next couple of days off and they’re having their breakfast out on their deck. 

She casually tells him that she’s thinking of flying home for her days off and staying with her sister. Scott replies that he would like to come too, and why wouldn’t they just stay at the house?

“Well, she says, I want to visit with my sister, have a bit of a girls weekend before the baby is born while I can still get around.”

“Okay, he says, I’ll come too, but I’ll stay at the house while you stay at your sister’s.”  
[  
He can tell she’s not pleased about the arrangements, but there’s certainly no reason for him to stay alone in Florida. He doesn’t even want to be here for fuck’s sake. He asks if she wants him to buy the tickets and she agrees. 

He goes inside to get his laptop and when he returns he sees her madly texting someone on her phone. What he wouldn’t give right now to see who it is. She gets up to take her plate to the kitchen but takes her phone with her.

Scott finds a flight that leaves Tampa at one, and he asks her if she thinks they could make it. She does, and he purchases the tickets and they start rushing around trying to get packed and out to the airport on time. They make it with not much time to spare and get settled in their seats just in time for the final boarding call. Scott hasn’t let anyone at home know he is coming yet, but figures he’ll wait till he gets home. 

They sit in silence for most of the trip, both evidently lost in their own thoughts. Scott actually is looking forward to some free time at home. Maybe get together with some friends or his brothers. If it weren’t for that doubt hanging over him about why she suddenly wanted to see her sister he’d be even more excited. 

 

They land and her sister is there at the airport to pick her up. She tells Scott she’s happy to take him to his house and he takes her up on her offer. They start out and the two girls are catching up in the front seat and Scott pulls out his phone. He brings up Instagram and sees that Tess still hasn’t posted anything new in a while. He does know that she’s okay, because he sees that she continues to like her friend’s posts. He’s getting to be quite the social media detective he thinks, and smiles to himself.

It’s not a long drive and they’re pulling into his driveway. Scott kisses his girlfriend and thanks her sister. He tells them to have a great time and heads into the house. On the spur of the moment he grabs his car keys and heads out to follow them. For all he knows they’re going straight to her sister’s, but for some reason he believes that the text made this trip more urgent and so he feels he has nothing to lose.

He stays back as far as he can to not lose them. His hunch pays off, he thinks. They’re certainly not going to her sister’s, but they’re not in the city anymore either. He supposes that it could be a private practice. Hell he doesn’t know what to think, and it has him worried. Then they pull into a gated driveway of a huge house on the outskirts of London. 

They drive up to the house and his girlfriend goes in alone. For a minute he’s afraid her sister might leave and then see him parked on the street, but she doesn’t. She just stays in the car.

Scott punches the street address into his phone and sits there stunned. The Jackson’s house. Jim and Sally, Ryan’s parents. What in the world is she doing here? Since when has she become such good friends with them? And then it hits him. S. Sally. He wants to go up to the house and confront her, but he sits and waits.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend is standing nervously on the steps when Sally answers the door to let her inside. They move to the dining room table and she can’t help but be impressed at the glamorous surroundings. They sit down and Sally tells her that they appreciate that she came so quickly. Sally gets the envelope out and sits it down in front of her and they wait.

Scott’s girlfriend opens the letter with trembling hands and reads the information. She folds it and puts it back on the table and covers her face with her hands and cries. Sally is torn between picking up the letter, and comforting her. 

She picks up the letter.

The baby is not Ryan’s. 

Sally is relieved and disappointed all at once. She hands the letter to Jim and he reads it and reaches for Sally’s hand. He feels exactly the same. 

Sally moves to the closest chair and puts her arm around the sobbing young woman. “So you told Scott about this?” 

“No, she says through her tears, I couldn’t”

“But he was tested, Sally says, Why would he submit to a paternity test if he didn’t know?”

“I sent it in for him, she says, I had to be sure.”

Sally asks her what she’ll do now and all she does is cry.   
Sally asks if she’d like to freshen up and she takes her to a powder room on the ground floor. She takes a moment and talks quietly with Jim who goes into his office and returns minutes later with an envelope. When she returns her face is puffy but she’s stopped crying. They give her an envelope and tell her it’s a little something to help her along with the baby. She’s overwhelmed and tells them no, but they insist so she thanks them for their generosity. She asks them to please not to tell anyone but Sally won’t promise that. 

“Tessa has to know she tells her. She’ll realize it anyway when we’re not involved with the baby. You must understand that she has no reason to want to tell anyone that you slept with Ryan.”

“But she’ll tell Scott,” she says and starts to cry again. Sally tells her that she doesn’t believe that Tessa would do that. If she wanted to she could have done that already, and that’s as far as Sally will go. They wish her the best and walk her out to her sister’s car. They don’t stand there and wave goodbye, they turn and walk back into the house.

Scott sees the girls coming down the driveway and slides down just in time. They’re not paying any attention anyway. Scott can see his girlfriend sobbing in the passenger seat and her sister looking very concerned. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he talk to the Jacksons? And ask what? No. They likely wouldn’t tell him anything anyway. Follow them to her sister’s house and confront her? No.

He decides to go home and think. Maybe she will call him and want to talk to him. Right now that’s all he’s got.

 

Tessa, meanwhile, is enjoying life in her new home. But she isn’t just relaxing; she’s taken the opportunity to continue her online courses and finds that she’s really enjoying them. She’s good at managing her time and making sure that she gets them done on time. She used to laugh at Scott leaving everything until the last minute and then rushing to complete it. That is not her style one little bit. She is the ideal candidate for teacher’s pet. All the work done neatly and handed in on time. 

She’s even trying her hand at cooking, and a little baking. Very little she thinks with a laugh. The phone rings and Tessa sees that it’s Sally. She picks it up prepared to have a happy little natter with her on the phone catching up and then realizes just why Sally is calling. 

“Tess, she says, the baby is not Ryan’s.”

Tessa feels the tears spill down her cheeks as she takes in the news. She hears Sally crying at the other end of the phone. “Are you okay Tess,” Sally says. “Yes, Tessa replies, Are you?” 

And they share a sombre laugh as Sally says she is. “I have to be honest Tess, there was a moment of disappointment, but only a moment. It would not have been an ideal situation in any sense of the word, but we would have made it work. No, I think it’s for the best all round.”

They spend a few more minutes chatting and catching up and they end as they always do now, “love you, and love to Jim.”

Tessa made herself not ask any questions about the meeting with Scott’s girlfriend. Not because she didn’t want to know. She does. She didn’t ask because she wasn’t going to take advantage of Sally already being in this sad situation. She’s really just happy that she can now put this all behind her and move forward. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and heads to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.

Sally sits the phone back in the cradle and wonders if she did the right thing. What’s done is done, she thinks, and heads out to the backyard to let Jim know that she called Tessa and told her. He’ll be happy for her for sure. They’ve both grown to love her like a daughter. 

Oh, what might have been Sally thinks. 

Scott enjoys a couple of days with his friends and his brothers and it makes him realize how much he misses being around them. It’s just not the same being so far away and wishing you were home. He knows that his girlfriend has made a life for herself in Florida, but it’s just not for him. He wishes he had given that more thought before he found out she was pregnant. He just hopes she comes around and will have the baby in Canada. He just can’t explain how important it is to him. She’s been in the States so long that she doesn’t even think about the Canadian pride that resonates in everyone who has worn the red and white. Or at least that’s how it seems to him. 

He realizes that he’s quickly running out of time to try and convince her to have the baby in Canada. 

They fly back to Florida and the return trip is even quieter than the trip down if that’s possible. Scott spends all his time trying to figure out how to find out what is up with his girlfriend. They get home and she tells him she’s tired and is going to lie down for a nap. She’s back to work early tomorrow morning and she says she has a headache. Scott doesn’t think he can wait any longer. 

 

She walks away from him to their bedroom and closes the door. It’s not only his curiosity that bubbles up, it’s also his anger. He knows something is wrong.

He heads for the bedroom and can hear her talking on the phone. He hesitates for a moment and then opens the door and all he hears of the conversation is ‘he can’t find out’. She’s caught off guard and hangs up the phone quickly. She turns to him and asks why he’s spying on her. 

“How is it spying walking into our bedroom? You said you were taking a nap, yet here you are having a conversation in the dark. I’ll tell you what spying is. It’s following your girlfriend to the home of my best friend’s boyfriend’s parents when she says she’s having a girl’s weekend.”

Her face goes white and then she gets angry. She tells him he has no right to follow her around, he doesn’t own her. All she was doing was offering her sympathies to Ryan’s parents. He was her friend.

Scott decides to take a leap and says angrily, “That’s not what they said you were there for. They said you were there about your test results.”

She starts to cry. “So if you know why are you still here?” 

“Because I need to hear it from you…from your own lips.” He yells as he braces himself for the news he knows is going to change his life.

“I’ve made some mistakes, I realize that…but the fact that I cheated on you was one of the worst and I know that.”

Scott is knocked for a loop and doesn’t know what to say. He knows he won’t get the full story if she realizes he didn’t know so he just says “and.”

She keeps crying and tells him that she really did think the baby was his, not Ryan’s. That she was drunk and lonely and it just happened. 

Scott has to sit down before he falls down. Ryan’s baby? Tessa’s Ryan? Fuck no. What is she saying?

She’s on a roll now and is unburdening herself and he’s sitting there speechless. She didn’t just cheat on him with Ryan because, according to what she’s saying, the baby isn’t his or Ryan’s.

What the fuck is happening? His head is exploding and his heart is pounding. 

FIVE MONTHS EARLIER

Scott’s girlfriend is ticked off. Not only is she left at home working, but also Scott is miles away with Tessa every day. But not this weekend, she reasons, because this is the weekend Ryan and Tessa are meeting up at his conference. Ironic that it is only 20 minutes from her house. She asked Scott why he couldn’t come too and spend the weekend with her, but he said both of them couldn’t be away in case he was needed. 

Seriously? 

She can’t imagine that he’s too pleased about Tessa’s romantic weekend. Likely couldn’t stand knowing he would be so close to her while she has sex with Ryan. She decides to shoot Ryan a text and tell him to have a great weekend. About a half hour later she gets a reply. Ryan thanks her, but tells her Tess couldn’t make it because something came up and she couldn’t leave. Suddenly she gets an idea. She calls him on the phone. “If you don’t have other plans, she says, I’m only a few minutes away, I could meet you for dinner.” Ryan hesitates and she says, “Come on, it will be fun.” 

“Why not,” he says. And gives her the name of the hotel he’s staying at and they arrange to meet at the bar in an hour and a half. 

She’s excited and quickly tries to decide on something to wear. It’s an upscale hotel so she goes all in. Low cut, sexy and short, showing off all of her best assets. When she gets there Ryan is already a few drinks in and having a bit of a pity party. He’s getting a little mopey so she suggests they have dinner. He tells her he’s sorry, but he doesn’t think he’ll be good company. 

She suggests she help him to his room, and he goes along with it. When they get in the room she mixes them both a drink and starts talking to him…or should she say…listening to him. Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. The more he talks the more she drinks. And so does he.

There’s no two ways about it, they’re both pretty wasted. And they’re both feeling pretty sorry for themselves. And it just happens. Afterwards they both feel pretty bad, and guilty. It’s hard to watch, as the person you love, loves someone else and they both know what that feels like first hand. But still. This wasn’t planned, and they’re both sorry it happened.

She’s suddenly very worried. What if Ryan tells Tessa? Well, she’s just going to have to make sure he doesn’t. Later that day her texts begin. But they really ramp up three weeks later because that’s when she discovers she’s pregnant. 

And then she gets the call from Scott.

 

PRESENT DAY

Scott can’t believe what he’s hearing. He puts his face in his hands, mostly so he doesn’t have to look at her. It’s then she realizes that Scott didn’t know anything. He was bluffing and she completely spilled everything. She stops talking abruptly. 

“Whose baby is it? Scott asks, I think I have a right to know.”

She sees the writing on the wall and stands up for herself. “Your rights ended with the information that you’re not the father, she replies, I have nothing more to say to you about it. Go ahead and leave. You’ve just been looking for a reason to leave me and go to Tessa and there you go. You’re both SO pathetic. In love with each other all these years and too scared to tell each other. Get your things and get out.” 

He honestly can’t feel any sympathy for her. What an ass he was. He feels his heart pounding but he recognises the tell tale signs of a panic attack and pushes them back while he packs his bag. He doesn’t have many personal items here and so packing is pretty quick. He doesn’t even look at her as her walks out the door and calls an uber to get him to the airport. 

He sits his bag down in the driveway and sits on top of it and tries to calm himself. He keeps telling himself he’s better off. He couldn’t become attached to this baby and then find out it wasn’t his. He doesn’t even hate her. He pities her. And he’s sure she’d hate that even more. 

And he doesn’t care.


	29. Come What May..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott figures they've been apart long enough and decides to take action so they can move forward with their lives...together, he hopes.

The weather is getting nicer and Tessa enjoys being outside more and more. The property is big enough that she can roam around and not have to worry about neighbours coming over. Not that she would hate meeting them, but she loves the privacy right now and she’s going to hold on to it for as long as she can. Even down at the shore she’s in a little inlet and has quite a bit of privacy. She loves it.  
She’s learned that it’s okay to enjoy your own company. She posts a bit on social media but doesn’t spend too much time scrolling. She follows some of her friends, who have always been supportive to her, but that’s pretty much it.

The May 2-4 weekend is approaching fast and Tessa’s family is coming to her cottage to celebrate. And by family she means her immediate family, the Jacksons and Janey. She’s really looking forward to it! They’ve all been up individually, but not all at once. Jordan and her Mom are coming a few days early to bring needed supplies and help her get everything in ship shape before the rest of them arrive. Some will stay at the family cottage and the rest with Tessa.

When Kate and Jordan arrive they have a great time. They do lots of laughing, dancing and singing along with all the work and preparation involved. Late Thursday night, after their Mom goes to bed, Jordan has a little too much wine and gets talkative. Tessa has made sure not to ask any of her family what Scott's been up to. She knows he’s not with his girlfriend, and she wishes she could just call him up and tell him she’s here waiting for him. But she can’t. That’s not an option for her now. And as far as she knows, he hasn’t even attempted to find her, so that seems to speak volumes about how he feels. At least that’s what she thinks.

Jordan says that maybe Scott isn’t such a jerk after all, and Tessa’s interest is piqued. She doesn’t say a word to her sister because she knows that any interest from her will cause her to clam up. Jordan has to think Tess is totally unaffected by what she's saying or, drunk or not, she'll stop talking.

“He’s doing really well now, and I have to admit, I felt pretty sorry for him the way things turned out, she says, and Tess barely nods in agreement. He did get a rotten deal, but he kinda deserved some of it.” Tessa looks down and hardly breathes. She’s been waiting for news of Scott for months, and she’s hoping tipsy Jordan is going to spill the beans. 

“Evidently he’s not even dating, he doesn’t want to, she says, Alma says all he does is coach, work at his house, and be with the family. Did you know he’s getting his coaching credentials? Jordan asks, and Tess shakes her head no. He is. She says as she pours herself another drink. I’ve actually found myself hoping everything works out for him she says. He always asks how you are, but even though I know he wants to, he never asks where you are, and I respect him for that.”

 

Tessa feels tears spilling down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away so Jordan doesn’t see she’s upset. Jo drags herself up to a standing position and pulls Tess up with her. “He’s not so bad Tessie, she whispers in her ear as the sisters hug it out, but don't ever tell him I said that.” She adds with a laugh.

Tessa joins in. Jordan and Scott have had a love/hate relationship over the years. Jordan loves Scott, but she hates seeing her sister so depressed and hurt all the time. And therein lies the rub. How can you love someone who hurts someone you love? Answer for Jordan is, it’s difficult.

Jord heads off to bed and Tessa puts the glasses in the sink and runs some soapy water to wash them up. She stands looking out the window thinking about Scott. She wonders if he’s looking outside into the night at the same time she is. How's that for sappy, she thinks with a smile, but she misses him so much. She thinks, realistically, that now there will be too many obstacles in their way to make a life together. She has to admit that she was happy when Jordan said he wasn't seeing anyone. She knows that seems selfish, but she can’t help it. She still wants him for herself. 

She turns off the light and heads to bed. She feels a little achy from all the preparations. She really needs to stretch more, she thinks as she brushes her teeth after taking off the little bit of makeup she now wears. She knows she's looking pretty healthy now since she hasn’t had to wear the heavy makeup she wore when they were skating and she feels really good for the first time in a long time.

Taking this time for herself has done wonders for her, mentally, and physically, but she knows the real world is out there and that she can’t stay away forever. Not that she want to. But this is her time. And she’s going to enjoy it as long as she can. It certainly can’t be considered wasted time, she’s even completed a couple courses while she’s been here she reminds herself with a smile of satisfaction. She goes to sleep thinking about tomorrow and all of her family being around her in her new home. She can hardly wait.

 

Scott is also planning for the May 2-4 weekend. The Moirs always have a big party and their own “games” where they all compete for prizes and the right to lord it over everyone else for the upcoming year. They love it. Most years the Virtues attend, but this year Scott was told that they will be out of town. 

He can’t say he’s really surprised. He hasn’t heard, or seen Tess in months. He knows he could call, but he’d much rather see her in person first. He wants to tell her how sorry he is, how much he regrets bringing his ex back into their lives. He has so much he wants to say to her if he only knew where the hell she was. 

For the first month or so he wasn’t in a hurry to see her. He wanted to get his head on straight and be moving forward. He wanted her to see that he loved her and he was worth taking a chance on, but when she never surfaced he began to panic. He knew he really couldn’t ask anyone close to her outright because they closed ranks, so he crept on social media, but still nothing. 

The Moir games start on the Saturday of the long weekend, so he hatched a plan. He figures that Tessa will, for sure, be with her family, so he just has to find one of them who will be driving to the location of their party and follow them. He can’t really be sure about Kate and Jordan because they could already be together, but Casey and Kevin are distinct possibilities. 

Because Kevin lives closer Scott hones in on him. He goes, every night, to a bar Kevin frequents for over a week before the holiday and finally is rewarded when Kevin shows up one night with his ball team. When they meet, Kevin is happy to see him. They’ve always gotten along and Scott has missed him. 

“Hey Buddy, Scott says to Kevin, I hear we’re gonna miss kicking your ass this year at the Moir games. Too afraid to come?” he laughs.

Kevin pulls him into a guy hug and then gives him a shove. “Since when have the Virtues been afraid to take on the Moirs? Also, Jordan has been kicking your ass for years. We’re just letting you guys duke it out now and then next year, we swoop in and take over.” They both have a good laugh.

“So, how is everyone?” Scott asks trying to be subtle.

“She’s good, Kevin says seeing right through him. Look, I’m sorry for all of the shit you’ve been dealing with these last few months Scotty. I really am, but I also know that my little sister has suffered a quite a bit too. I believe most of it was unintentional, but still.”

Scott acknowledges that Kevin is right and he sees that Kevin appreciates that and Scott feels him relax and let his guard down a little. He gets introduced around and he sits down to join them for a beer. He doesn’t plan to stay long, but he keeps his ears open to see if he can pick up any good information. He’s almost ready to leave when he overhears Kevin telling a friend who wants to borrow his nail gun that he’s heading out for the weekend first thing Friday morning but if he could pick it up Thursday night that works. And the friend agrees. Scott stands and says goodbye to everyone and tells Kevin it was great to see him and then takes off.

He leaves and starts to get ready for his road trip so that he’s totally prepared. He borrows his Dad’s truck because it’s the least recognizable vehicle any of them own, and he stocks up on a few snacks for the road and gets ready to stake out Kevin’s place early Friday morning. He realizes this might turn out to be a waste of time and they might not be getting together, but he just has this gut feeling they are. 

It’s 6 am when he gets there and about 8am when Kevin and his family get loaded up and start the drive, and it doesn’t take long for Scott to be pretty sure that they’re heading to the family cottage. He backs off a bit, but not too much, because he could be wrong and they might be heading to a different cottage. The drive isn’t a very long one and he sees he’s right; it’s the cottage. 

He’s driven up here a couple of times over the last little while, just to check, but she’s never here. He thinks that’s unusual if she’s in Canada because she loves the cottage. They turn into the driveway and Scott stays back and pulls into an empty lot not far down the road. He gets out of the truck and walks down to the cottage through a little wooded area so he can see what cars are there. 

He stays low and has a good laugh at his own expense as he feels like he’s in a spy movie. What an ass, he thinks with a smirk on his face, this is becoming a running theme, him playing detective. When he gets close enough he sees that Kate’s car is there already, but no one else’s besides Kevin's. Just then Kevin comes out of the cottage and calls back to his wife that they better get a move on, they’re expected there for noon.

 

The family starts to pile in the car and Scott has to run to make it back to the truck in order to follow them. He just gets there and pulls out the truck as he sees them turning and barely catches up to them. Well that would have been a piss off, he thinks, as he ups his speed a little so he doesn’t lose them. He wonders where they’re headed, but it isn’t too long until he finds out as they turn into a driveway and Scott keeps driving past. 

‘Serendipity’ 

It hits Scott like a ton of bricks. They had a discussion once about house names and Tessa said she should call her London house Serendipity because it was such a happy accident that they found it. 

She’s bought her own cottage. 

He’s positive he’s right. It’s only 20 or so minutes from her family’s cottage and right on the water. He manages to find a place to pull in not too far away and puts on his ball cap and walks back down the road. He wants to be careful because he doesn’t know if everyone else has arrived. He sees her car in the driveway and he knows he’s right. He's sure this is where she has been all along. Then, he actually sees her in the window and knows he better get out of there. He certainly doesn’t want to be caught spying on her.

He makes his way back to the truck and now has to decide what to do with this information. He wants to see her so bad. If he gets a second chance with her he’s going to seize it. No matter what. His life is nothing without her. Even with his girlfriend…ex-girlfriend, he still always missed Tess, always looked forward to seeing her again more than anything. The big difference was that he knew he would see her. That made everything okay. But since she’s been MIA he’s been going crazy. It feels a little better knowing where she is, but he still doesn’t know how she feels, or what is going on in her life. 

Is she seeing anybody? He hasn’t let himself think about that until just this minute. Oh he hopes she isn’t. That would be a bitch knowing that, while he was trying to get his head straight, she fell for somebody else. He replays the moment she told him she loved him over and over again in his head on the drive home. 

Life intervenes over the next couple of weeks and the decision whether to go up and see her is taken away from him temporarily. He wants to make sure when he does go that he has no other obligations pressing. He doesn't want to rush anything. There were some issues at his house and he had to get his hot water tank replaced so that took up some of his time too. 

It finally got to the point where he just had to tell himself nothing else was more important than going to see Tess, she might not even be there anymore. First, he wants to make reasonably sure that she will be alone. He stops over at his parents and has a coffee with his Mom. He casually asks her if she’s seen Kate lately. His Mom gives him a bit of a side eye and says no. “Why?”

“No special reason, Scott replies I just wondered what she was up to. Wasn’t she doing some part-time work in London for a while?”

His Mom replies that she was but is still wary of Scott’s interest. 

“Remember when I said I might give her a call and see if she would help me when it’s time to decide on costumes for Jenny and Derek? She was always great at figuring out what looks good and suits the music. Do you think she would mind? It wouldn’t be for a bit yet, but I don’t want to leave it till the last minute and then be disappointed.”

His Mom smiles and tells Scott that she thinks Kate would love to help him out with her expertise. "I know she was going away for the weekend, but I think she’s back now." She gets him the number. Scott gives Kate a call and he finds her at home. After some pleasantries he tells her about his plans, and wonders if she would help him once they decide on the music. Kate is thrilled, Scott can tell, and he’s so glad he called. 

 

This wasn’t just a made up thing, he had always planned to ask her, just not before they picked their music. Tessa always had the best costumes, and Kate’s advice went a long way into deciding what both of them wore. He thanks her then asks her how Tessa is doing. “She’s doing well Scott,” Kate offers a little tentatively. 

 

“Well, please say hi to her for me when you see her,” he says. And Kate relaxes and assures him she will. “I won't be seeing her for a bit, but when I talk to her I’ll let her know. I’m so sorry about how things have turned out Scott, I truly am.” He knows she is, and he hears the break in her voice. “I appreciate that Kate, you know I love you all, even if...” and he can’t continue. 

Kate whispers that she knows and they all love him too. She finishes by telling him that she looks forward to working with him, and she wishes him the best of luck and then rings off.

Scott hangs up the phone and tells himself that he needs all the luck he can get. He turns and his Mom has tears in her eyes and he gives her a hug. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” his Mom whispers. And Scott couldn’t agree more.

He decides he’s going to take a chance and drive up anyway. He tells his Mom he’s taking a couple days to himself and he’ll call her when he gets back. He’s not going to try and find out where Jordan is, she’s suspicious of him at the best of times and he knows he wouldn’t be able to fool her. If she’s there, he’ll just turn around and come back home. No big deal.

He starts out first thing in the morning and the traffic is pretty light so he makes good time. He slowly pulls up to her driveway and only sees her car, so he turns in. It’s now or never he thinks nervously. He parks and walks up to the door. It really is a beautiful place. He knocks, and without really thinking, he does "their" knock, and he could kick himself. It’s like announcing he’s at the door.

Tessa hears it and, for a moment, she can't catch her breath. Could it really be Scott? No, she thinks. He can’t be the only one who knocks like that. She leaves the chain on just in case because, after all, she is alone. She pulls the door open the chain length and there he is, large as life, and her heart skips a beat.

“Scott? she says with a shocked look on her face, What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?”

Scott can’t speak for a moment, she’s so beautiful, and he’s missed her so much.

“Funny story, he finally says, and hesitates, Can I come in?”

Tessa certainly knows she can’t leave him out on the step, and she really doesn’t want to anyway, so she closes the door to remove the chain, takes a deep breath and pulls it back open.

Scott takes her in and gets emotional as tears fill his eyes. He knows that he never could have prepared himself to see her today. He's overwhelmed and he feels like he’s glued to the step and just stands there looking at her.

When he doesn’t move Tessa says, “Well Scott, do you still want to come in?” not knowing what else to say.

“I do,” he says without hesitation, a tear escaping down his cheek as he steps over the threshold and Tessa closes the door behind him.


	30. Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott steps into Tessa's cottage and his whole world changes. Is he ready for it?

Scott turns to Tessa and gently pulls her into a hug. He feels her tense up but then relax and melt right into his arms. They just stand there for a few minutes holding each other tight, hearts beating together. Both of them are emotional and Scott can actually feel the electricity between them. Tessa steps back and breaks the spell.

“Can I get you something to drink? She asks, her voice a little shaky as he follows her to the kitchen. Ice tea maybe?” 

“That would be great, he says. Tess, this place is amazing. Is it yours?” “It is, she says, and he can hear the pride in her voice. It’s been so much fun to put together.”

Scott tells her he loves it and that she’s done a wonderful job, and he means it. They take their ice tea outside and as they walk down to the dock he has a hard time taking his eyes off of her. She glances over at him and he can tell she feels self-conscious, but he just can’t stop. Scott laughs when he sees the red Adirondack chairs with the Virtue/Moir monogram on them, but secretly, he’s pleased.   
“I know, Tessa laughs, I had to have a least two, she says. I love them.” 

Scott moves the chairs closer together and they both sit in silence for a minute or two taking in the view, trying to figure out where to start.

“I’ve missed you, Scott begins as he reaches over and takes her hand. I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I’ve missed you too,” Tessa says. 

“I know we have a lot to talk about Tess, but can I ask you a question first?” She nods her head yes and braces herself for the question she thinks he’s going to ask.

“Have your feelings about me changed since the last time we were together?” 

Well that was certainly not the question she thought he was going to ask first, but it actually pleases her.

“You mean when I said I was in love with you? Tessa replies straight out putting it all on the line. 

Scott nods his head because he doesn’t trust himself to speak. 

“They haven’t. She replies. I’m still in love with you Scott Moir, I always have been and I likely always will be.”   
He sees the tears in her eyes and he realizes how vulnerable she has just made herself to him and he gets even more emotional. He knows it’s going to be difficult for him to speak.

“And what about you? Tessa continues, her voice almost a whisper, I’ve told you I’m in love with you twice now, and yet you’ve never said you’re in love with me. Tell me Scott, were in love with me before? Because, if so, I really need to know how you feel about me today, right now. Have your feelings changed at all?”

He struggles to speak. “They have changed, Scott says softly with his head down and Tessa feels the tears welling up in her eyes. He kneels in front of her chair and looks up at her. He sees her tears and reaches up to wipe them away. I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I already did, but seeing you now, today, I know I do. I’m in love with you Tessa Virtue. Madly, deeply in love with you.”

He puts his hands on her cheeks and wipes away her tears with his thumbs and leans up to kiss her and she meets him halfway. They kiss and he pulls her in for a hug then he nuzzles her neck and makes her laugh. “I’ve missed that neck of yours so much,” he says only half jokingly.

“So what’s next? Tessa says to him. You know it’s not going to be an easy road. People are going to talk, and since we’re in the public eye all the time, we’re going to have to answer questions. Are you prepared for that?” She asks, as she looks him straight in the eye.

Scott assures her that he’s prepared for every challenge this relationship will bring with it. In fact, he welcomes it.

“I’m serious Scott. If we get together this is for life as far as I’m concerned. I have too much on the line to be with someone who won’t want me in a year or two. I love you so much, and I know nothing is guaranteed, believe me, but this is as real as it gets. You may want to think about it for a bit. Wrap your head around it all.”

“Tess, I have never been more sure. My life has been empty without you in it. Also, we’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had and we still love each other. That’s gotta count for something doesn’t it?”

“It does count, Tessa says with a smile, but our relationship has never included sex. You know sex always puts an added strain and different type of tension on a relationship.”

He smiles at her, “But our relationship this time will include sex, right?” Scott says hopefully. 

“It better,” Tessa says with a wink, and they both laugh a little self-consciously.

This leads Scott to address the delicate subject that’s been left unspoken between them since she opened the front door.

“So, Scott says, in a Jeopardy like style, 

Alex, I’ll take important dates for $500.”

Tessa smiles at him and says “July 24, 2020.”

Scott whispers softly, “Question; “When is your due date?” 

He stands and pulls her up into his arms. His heart is full and he just wants to shout from the rooftops. He knows there’ll be obstacles, but for once, he doesn’t care. Tessa has tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Would she have planned it this way? Of course she wouldn't. But life throws you a curve every once in a while, and they’re not kids anymore. She has to believe that Scott is in this for the long haul. 

Sure she could raise her baby on her own, and she planned to, but she loves Scott and she believes he loves her. Why shouldn’t they be together? She just hopes that love is enough for the three of them.

He puts his arm around her and they walk back to the house.

It’s funny how two people that have known each other, inside out, could have pushed their love into the background for so many years. Now, it feels like they’re starting out brand new. The hand Scott reached for without even thinking about almost every single day, he now feels almost shy reaching for. Funny enough though, he still naturally does it, like Tess is an appendage that makes him feel whole once they’re touching. 

He’s always felt like she belonged to him. Not in a Neanderthal way, just, that she was his. He just never acknowledged the fact that he would ever not have her in his life. The little boy, who grew up believing that it was his job to protect Tess, grew into a man who believed he would always have that job, along with a his own life and wife. But time after time he could never separate the two.

Tessa, on the other hand, has always felt that tingle, that little flutter in her heart when Scott reaches for her. Whether it was practice, competition or simply walking into a room, it didn’t matter. She had to learn how to manage it. Now, today, it just feels so exciting to let her heart embrace those feelings. 

On the short walk back to the house she commits herself to be all in on their relationship. 

To say that they should take it slow and be sure before moving forward is something she now rejects. Taking it slow has just led to each of them exposing insecurities that become overblown and make them find reasons not to be together. If Scott agrees, then she wants them to be together as soon as possible.

She takes Scott on a quick walk around the property and then they head inside. By this time they’re feeling hungry and Tessa asks him if he’s able to stay for lunch. He lets her know, in a not so subtle way, that he feels nothing is more important then spending time with her. She smiles and feels a blush starting on her cheeks. “Well, she begins, lets see what I’ve got in the fridge. I’ve been living a pretty boring life these past months, just trying to eat healthy and take care of myself.”

Scott, being Scott, walks over to the fridge and makes himself right at home. She’s got eggs, of course, milk and vegetables and Scott gets to work making them an omelette. He knows she loves her eggs. They chat while he finds his way around the kitchen and Tessa sits at the island giving him directions, all the while with a huge smile on her face. 

They settle at the small table by the window with a view of the lake, and eat their lunch; automatically reaching across the table they hold each other’s hand, like they’re afraid that if they aren’t touching this might not be real.

They finish up and Scott cleans the table and fills the dishwasher. It feels like such a domestic scene that Tessa’s eyes fill with tears. Scott notices and drops to his knees in front of her and whispers to her not to cry. Tessa starts to laugh and tells him that, these days, she’s a hormonal wreck. “If you’re smart you may want to run the other way,” she says to him jokingly.” She still can’t stop herself from giving him the opportunity to back out. He looks up at her and tells her that he’s done running away. 

“I’m here for the long haul, so if you have any hesitation about this, we better get it out of the way right now. He says to her seriously. I took some time before trying to find you to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. My life includes being with you. I commit to you, right here and now, that I intend to spend the rest of my life continuing to love you, more than anyone.” He says as he reaches up and kisses her on the lips. 

Scott stands and helps Tessa up and they walk into the great room and settle on the couch. Instead of their normal conversational positions, Tessa at one end, Scott the other, Scott sits down and Tess settles in close as he wraps his arm around her and pulls her in tight. They both sigh, settling in quietly for a few minutes, Scott dropping little kisses on top of Tessa’s head while they hold hands.

“Okay, Scott begins, where do we start with all of this? I want to get everything out in the open and work through it all so that we can start our lives together.”

Tessa looks up at him and tells him that she knows they do have to talk about everything that has happened, but right now, what she would like to do is talk about the future not the past. There’s time to talk about everything that has already happened, but the fact is she’s going to have a baby next month and she wants to have a conversation about what the future looks like with them moving forward. The most important thing right now is getting on with their lives. She explains that cementing their relationship moving forward as a family is the key for their future.

“I know you’ve only had a couple of hours to deal with the fact that I’m pregnant with Ryan’s child, but losing Ryan and finding out I was pregnant dramatically changed my life. I’m truly not afraid to raise my child alone, but I love you. Do you really believe that you’ll be able to love this baby as your own? Because Scott, I want nothing less for my child than to be cherished and loved completely by both parents. 

He tells her that, of course, he was surprised to see she was pregnant when she opened the door. “But honestly, when I saw you, my first reaction was all I wanted to do was hold you. I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if I would be somehow stepping over a line, insinuating myself in your life. I want nothing more than to help you bring this baby into the world and be a father.” He tells her he understands that he’s not the birth father, but that he will be this child’s father in every other way possible. 

“Do you know if you’re having a girl or boy?” Scott asks.

Tessa smiles. “I’m not sure if I was secretly holding out hope that we might get together or not, but I haven’t found out. If you’re really sure Scott this will be something we can find out together. I want us to be able to bond together and have these experiences and surprises as a couple, and then as a family.” 

He slides her around so her head is in his lap and pulls her up into kiss. They hold each other tight and the kiss deepens and Tessa feels his tears drop on her face, mixing with her own, and she feels a peace like she hasn’t felt in years. 

Suddenly the baby kicks and Scott stops and starts to laugh. “Someone wants some attention.” He says. 

She pulls herself up into his lap and takes his hand and puts it on her stomach. Scott looks up at her with a huge smile on his face. They both start to laugh as the movement increases. Tessa, almost shyly, lifts her shirt, exposing her stomach and they watch the baby moves from one side to the other as Tessa leans back to try and ease the bit of discomfort. Scott, without thinking, leans forward and kisses her stomach then quickly looks up to see if he’s overstepped, and by the look on her face, he knows she’s pleased and his heart swells. 

He has a moment where he thinks of Ryan and, surprisingly, feels sad that he’s not there to have his own moment with his child. He promises then and there to give this baby everything he can to make sure that it feels wanted and loved, and swears nothing else will matter to him more than his family.

He doesn’t know if it’s because, for months, he already had the mind set that he was going to be a father that makes him feel so comfortable, but he does.

Scott looks at Tessa and says that he knows this is a premature conversation, considering her condition, but does she see them having more children in the future? 

She smiles at him and tells him that she does. She knows that it’s a question that has to be asked if they expect to be together. And make no mistake that is her intention. She pulls down her shirt and Scott helps her up off of his lap.

They walk outside again and stroll around as Scott gets more familiar with the cottage. They talk with ease as they get more comfortable with each other again and cover a lot of ground about how they plan move forward. The first topic is being up front with their parents. That includes Sally and Jim. 

Ryan’s parents have known all along that Tessa loved Scott. They knew when Ryan and Tessa were together, because Ryan explained the whole situation to them before he moved forward with her. But things have changed, and they deserve to be told, up front, that their grandchild will be raised with Scott as the father. Not that they will keep the fact that Ryan is the birth father a secret. Not at all. Ryan will be remembered to his child.

They decide that they will invite Sally and Jim up to the cottage to talk to them first. A quick phone call to Sally by Tessa has the Jackson’s agreeing to come up tomorrow at 10am after Tessa reassures them that the baby is fine, and that she just needs to talk to them.

Next, they each call their own parents and arrange for them to come up tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. Tessa’s father is unable to make it so she decides she will call him after the meetings to let him know what’s happening. Scott’s parents are taken aback when he tells them where he is. He asks them to please not mention to anyone yet where they are going. He knows that makes them feel a little uncomfortable, but they agree. 

Alma’s first thought is to call Kate and make the drive together, but she realizes that would put Kate in an uncomfortable situation. Obviously something is going on that she and Joe know nothing about, but the fact that Scott is with Tessa right now makes Alma feel a little more positive about the situation. All they can do is wait until they get there tomorrow and hope for the best.

Kate has a whole different feeling about this visit. Tessa tells her that she and Scott plan to move forward as a couple and raise the baby together. She tells Kate that Sally and Jim are coming in the morning, and Joe and Alma in the afternoon at the same time as Kate.

“Are you sure Tess? Kate asks, do you really believe that this is the right thing for you and the baby? Not to mention, the right thing for Scott.”

Tessa is sitting in her bedroom making this call and she starts to cry. “I’ve never been more sure in my entire life that this is what I want Mom. She hears Kate start to cry too. This is my dream come true. Sure it would have been nice to have married and started this journey with Scott, having this be his baby. But honestly, I love this child already and I won’t wish its parentage away for the “perfect” ending. We’ll make our own imperfect dream come true. I believe Scott and I will love this child and work together to make a life for us. We hope we’ll have your support Mom, because this is happening.”

“You do Tess, but I wouldn’t be much of a Mother if I didn’t make sure that you have thought all of this through. I know you will always love Scott, and I wish you all the best. I love you and I want this to work for you all. Her voice catches. I’ll see you tomorrow around 3, and I hope everything works out for you both when you see Jim and Sally.” She tells her she loves her and rings off.

 

Tessa sits on the side of the bed and lets the tears flow. A few minutes later she hears a familiar tapping on the door and she smiles. She calls out to him to come in and he walks around the bed and pulls her into a hug. “Are you okay babe?” he asks. She nods her head and allows herself to be pulled into his arms.

It seems they both realize at exactly the same time that they are in her bedroom, and they stand up to leave. 

There is still a lot to talk about before their parents come tomorrow and preparations to be made to be able to feed everyone. They both know there will be plenty of time to see how their intimate relationship will move forward.

Plenty of time for sure, but both of them are thinking about it as they leave the bedroom and are excited for it to move forward. 

Hopefully sooner, rather than later.


	31. Meet the Parents..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before they can move forward with their lives they have to face the Jacksons and Moirs and break the news to them about their relationship and how they plan to raise the baby. They really want their support, but they know this will be difficult, especially for the Jacksons.

They decide on a pretty simple menu and Scott goes to the nearest town and does some grocery shopping. Tessa usually has her groceries delivered and left on her step. She has taken her seclusion seriously and even has a gate on her driveway. She has to admit she very seldom shuts it, but she does on weekends if she’s not expecting anyone to be coming as vacationers tend to be pulling in to turn around etc. It’s just easier to keep it shut.

 

They decide on some pre-made salads, burgers and some roasted chickens from the store deli, that way people can either have a burger or make chicken on a bun. He also picked up an angel food cake, strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. That should do it they think. It’s really going to be more about the conversation than the menu.

They have a light supper of pizza and a salad, which Scott also picked up. It’s been a pretty eventful day, and promises to be an even more eventful day tomorrow. By the time they’re finished and everything is cleaned up they’re ready to go to bed. Tessa had already shown Scott to the guest room and he grabbed his bag from the car and they say good night with a hug and a pretty passionate kiss. He can’t lie, he wishes they were sharing a room, but evidently Tessa’s idea of “getting on with their relationship right away” doesn’t mean they sleep together right away.

Scott gets it. He just wishes it weren’t so. He has a quick shower and pulls on his boxers and slides into bed and lies there thinking about Tessa in a bed right down the hall. It takes a little while, but he finally falls asleep.

Tessa meanwhile, is not so lucky. She never believed, as recently as yesterday, that her dreams could come true and she would be in a position to have Scott in her life as more than a “business” partner. She’s comfortable in the direction they’re going and she’s confident in their love for each other. She’s a little nervous about the parents all coming tomorrow though. She’d be lying if she said she thought it all would run smoothly. She loves Sally and Jim, but she knows this will be an emotional issue for them. Alma and Joe have always been supportive of Tessa, but will they be supportive of Scott moving on with her raising another man’s child as his own? She knows they will have valid concerns and she is ready to hear everyone out. Even her own family will have their concerns she knows, but they are moving forward, hell or high water, and that gives her an inner peace which helps calm her.

Tessa makes a decision and gets out of bed and makes her way down the hall. She stands outside of his door for a moment and takes a deep breath and does Scott’s signature tap on the door. She’s nervous. She taps again and then hears Scott making his way toward the door pulling it open.

“Are you okay? He says with a concerned, but sleepy, look on his face. Is something wrong babe?”

“I’m sorry for waking you, Tessa begins, nothing’s wrong, I just wondered if you’d like some company. I know I would.” Scott can hear in her voice that she’s a little less confident than the words she’s saying. He quickly tells her that he would love that, before she thinks he’s hesitating. He takes her hand and brings her into the room. They settle into bed and cuddle up together. Tessa sighs and Scott feels his heart swell. 

He has known her body, in every way but intimately, over all the years from childhood to womanhood, but this is a whole different situation. He recognizes that the child she’s carrying isn’t his, but he really believes that he can love this baby like his own. And also, he is so attracted to her right now that he has to make sure he controls himself with her being so close to him now. He thinks that she isn’t quite ready to physically commit, at least not tonight with everything they have ahead of them tomorrow. So he’ll give her what she needs right now, and let her lead the way tonight.

She has so many mixed emotions. She never would have believed that she would be pregnant the first time she makes love to Scott. She can’t turn back the hands of time, she has to move forward and turn the life she has into the life she wants. She feels Scott’s arms around her as they spoon and recognizes the fact that he has put some space between them so he isn’t pressing into her. She smiles; excited by the fact that he wants her even though she is pregnant with another man’s child. She had worried that it might be a turn off to him. He is definitely not turned off.

She makes a decision and turns toward Scott and kisses him full on the lips. He responds immediately with surprise and then passion. Tessa moves down his chest and touches on his nipple with a little tug and nibble with her teeth as she feels him react. She slides her hand down into his boxers and cups him with one hand and she feels his body stiffen. She slides down in the bed and Scott is basically holding his breath, waiting with anticipation for the moment he has fantasised about for years.

Tessa takes him into her mouth and she hears him moan and she can’t help but smile. She feels his one hand on the back of her head, softly caressing her hair as she takes him in deeply as his other hand grabs at the sheets. She can feel him using restraint and she quickens her pace and he’s moaning louder. He whispers to her that he can’t hold back much longer and Tessa’s answers by moving faster as Scott drops his head back on the bed and turns his body to accommodate her laying on her side and Tessa takes him in deeper. 

“Fuck, oh fuck,…T, He whispers hoarsely as he lets go and his whole body jerks as he feels her taking him in and it feels like she’s taking every bit of strength from his body. He looks down at her and she releases him and their eyes connect. Scott couldn’t have imagined this scenario in his wildest dreams. He takes her by the arms and pulls her up and kisses her, using his tongue and pressing it in deeply and she responds in kind.

She settles into his arms and sighs. Scott realizes that this is her way of telling him that’s it for tonight. Well he certainly can’t complain, but he is looking forward to taking this part of their relationship further. If tonight was any example of what to expect, he can hardly wait.

 

The morning sun is breaking through the window and Tessa finds herself awake and snuggled in Scott’s arms. She’d like to stay there all day, but that’s just not possible. “Asleep Scott” has no qualms of being pressed up against her. Tessa, unfortunately, has to go to the washroom, and baby pressure on her bladder isn’t helping. She knows she could sneak out of bed, but she desperately wants them to wake up together. She leans over and kisses his cheek and she feels him start to stir. “Good morning sleepy head” she whispers.

Scott opens his eyes and still can’t believe he’s here with Tess. He realizes he’s pressed up into her and turns his body and lies on his back, which is definitely not a better solution, so he moves back to his side. Tessa sees his discomfort and can’t help but smile. “We better get moving she says to him, we’ve got lots to do before Sally and Jim get here.” She kisses him again and slides out of bed and tells him she’ll see him shortly as she heads back to her room to get showered and ready for the day.

Scott feels the happiest he’s been in a long time. He throws off the covers and walks in to the bathroom to take a shower and can’t help but sing. Down the hall Tessa can actually hear him and she starts to laugh. Oh she hopes today goes well. They both need the support of their families to move forward.

The time passes quickly and when Jim and Sally pull into the driveway and Scott is already down at the dock with a coffee keeping clear of their sightline. He hopes that they will be on board with he and Tess being together and raising the baby. He knows that Tess will want their blessing, but he can’t imagine how this must be for them to be looking forward to their first grandchild, but not having their son there with them. You don’t have to be a parent to know how that must hurt, and Scott doesn’t want to do anything to make it more difficult for them.

He tries to make himself not look at his watch when suddenly he hears the patio door slide open and he stands and watches as Sally and Jim make their way toward him. Sally is obviously crying and as she gets close to him she opens up her arms and he leans into her hug and holds her as she cries. Jim pats him on the shoulder and Scott looks past them and sees Tessa at the door wiping her face with a Kleenex. Sally takes a deep breath and leans back and tells Scott she’s sorry she’s so emotional and he tells her he understands how hard this must be for them. She steps back and Jim steps forward and shakes Scott’s hand and gives him a brief hug. 

They settle in chairs on the dock and Sally tells Scott that as long as he truly loves Tessa, that they are happy that she won’t be raising the baby on her own. As long as he is sure, because they don’t want her, or the baby to be hurt. Scott tells them he’s never been more sure of anything. Jim asks Scott if he’s good with them being actively involved in the baby’s life as grandparents. Scott is a bit shocked and it shows. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. And for sure Tess wouldn’t. I don’t believe any child can have too many people that love them. I’m the outsider hoping to be considered family, certainly not you two.” He sees them both relax and Sally says that she thinks they should go back up to the house and see Tessa.

With the tough part out of the way they relax and start to have a good visit. Tessa tells them about their parents coming and Jim and Sally seem pleased that they will see them all again. They haven’t seen the Moirs in a while, and they genuinely like them. Sally asks Scott if his parents know about the baby and he tells them no, not yet. Sally suggests that she and Jim go out to one of the bunkies when they arrive so that he has some privacy with them. Tessa agrees, and suggests she wait upstairs so that he can tell them, not shock them as soon as they get in the door as she and Scott share a smile remembering their moment.

Now Scott is getting nervous. They see his parents pull in the driveway and Tessa heads up to her room while Jim and Sally head outside. Scott opens the front door and walks out to greet them with a hug. He can see his Mom is already emotional and he hasn’t even said anything yet. They walk into the house and his Mom asks if this is Tessa’s and when he replies that it is, his Mom isn’t surprised as she sees Tessa’s personality everywhere in the cottage. 

They sit down in the great room and Scott starts to tell them about searching for Tessa and finally finding her a few weeks ago. He came here expressly to ask her to tell her he loved her and ask her to take a chance on him. Alma starts to cry. “Don’t cry Mom, he says, there’s a happy ending. She loves me, and we plan on spending the rest of our lives together. But there was a reason Tessa bought this cottage and moved away. He looks at them and says, Tessa’s pregnant with Ryan’s baby.”

Both his parents get emotional then. “And she’s been here all by herself?” his Mom cries. Scott tells her that the Jacksons and her family have been helping her, but that now he plans to be there for her. He’s committed to raising the baby with her as if it’s his own, and he hopes they will support them. His Dad asks how Jim and Sally feel about this and Scott tells him that they are here at the cottage and just found out themselves that he was in the picture and, thankfully, they support them. Both his parents stand and hug him and tell him he has they blessing and support. Scott goes to the bottom of the stairs and calls up to Tess and she, almost shyly, comes down the stairs and takes Scott’s hand as he meets her halfway. 

Alma and Joe are now totally beside themselves seeing their little Tessa pregnant and Alma hurries over to her and pulls her into a hug. After a bit of hugging and crying Scott takes his parents outside to meet up with Jim and Sally. Tessa sees her Mom pull in the driveway and goes out to meet her. Kate sees that her daughter has been crying and Tessa immediately says, “Happy tears.” And her Mom pulls her into a hug and tells her that it’s about time she had something happy to cry about! And they make their way in to meet up with all the other grandparents.

Scott steps behind Tessa and wraps her in a hug as they look out in the yard and see everyone getting along and happy and they both sigh at the same time and then start to laugh. “This baby is certainly going to be loved.” Scott says. And Tessa agrees.

Although they invite them, none of the parents are in a position to stay overnight. It’s been an emotionally charged day, but it’s ending on a happy note and they are all smiling and hugging at the end of the day as they say goodbye in the driveway. Scott looks at the gathered group and tells them all to get together and he takes out his phone and takes a picture of them. Day one, he thinks of their new life together.

They stand in the driveway and wave goodbye to the family and Scott closes the gate and comes back and takes Tessa’s hand and they walk back into the cottage. They shut off the lights and climb the stairs, hand in hand and at the top of the stairs Tessa continues on to her bedroom bringing Scott along with her. His heart starts to beat a little faster as they enter the bedroom and Scott sees that Tessa has brought his bag into the room and she turns toward him and he pulls her in for a kiss.


	32. Dream Come True....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Scott and Tessa are getting to the point where they can see that their dreams could just come true. Are they ready to commit?

Tessa tells Scott she just wants to freshen up and Scott takes the opportunity to slip down to the guest bathroom for a quick shower. Funny how suddenly they both seem to be dragging their feet a bit. Both are a little nervous and it’s to be expected. They have placed so much importance on being together that it’s only natural that you might be afraid you won’t meet the other’s expectations. 

Scott slips back into the room in his boxers, he doesn’t want to appear too eager, and slides into bed just as Tess opens the bathroom door. He can’t speak. She’s a vision in a white negligee with a satin ribbon tied in a bow just under her breasts. She wondered if the white was a bit much, but the look on Scott’s face tells her she made the right choice. Scott hops out of bed to meet her and he can’t help but twirl her around so he can see every bit of her in the glow from the bedside lights. Tessa starts to laugh nervously and allows Scott to end spin in a deep dip. 

She knows she’s not as light on her feet as she was before, but she never worries for a moment that he’ll let her fall. He never has, and he never will. No matter what he has always has her complete confidence; she knows he’ll protect her. It was the perfect segway to put her at ease, and when he pulls her up against him he sees it too. 

He starts to kiss her and the emotion of the moment overtakes both of them. He picks her up in his arms and carries her over to the bed. He doesn’t lie her down though as she suspects, he sits on the bed with her in front of him in between his legs and starts to untie her negligee like he’s unwrapping the perfect present, slowly, savouring each moment of anticipation. She blushes and she’s glad the light is low enough that he maybe won’t notice, but he does and it only adds to his pleasure. He slides the delicate material off of her shoulders and just runs his hands down her arms until he is holding her hands and he holds them out from her sides just taking her in. 

“You’re magnificent.” he whispers, and she can’t believe that she starts to cry. He slides to the floor on one knee and looks up at her with tears in his eyes. “I don’t have a engagement ring to give you yet Tess, but this represents my promise to love you with all my heart and to ask you to be my wife.”

Tessa looks down and sees him holding a plastic ring from a water bottle. It even has bite marks and it just feels so fucking appropriate that she has to laugh through her tears. 

“I’m a sure thing here Scott, she says her voice trembling, I mean, we’re having sex regardless, you don’t have to propose!” And Scott barks out a loud laugh in spite of the emotional moment. She pulls him up and kisses him. Scott whispers to her “I couldn’t wait another minute to make you mine forever.”

“I always have been yours Scott,” she whispers, and her tears continue to spill down her cheeks in spite of how happy she is. Scott lays her on the bed and kisses every part of her body starting with each of her tear filled eyes and by the time he moves between her legs and dips his tongue deep into her, her teary emotion turns to passion as she writhes beneath his touch and it’s not long until she climaxes with a shudder. Scott’s still not quite sure how to proceed because he’s not sure of the best way to make love to a woman who’s eight-months pregnant. He wants to make sure that it’s pleasurable for her, and doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable. Tessa is also feeling somewhat the same. This is all new territory for her too and she’s not quite sure what to expect. All she knows is that she wants him, badly, and she thinks they’ll just figure it out.

Scott kneels on the floor and pulls Tessa up to a sitting position on the edge of the bed and he places himself between her legs and slides her forward and as he enters her he’s able to look directly into her eyes and tell her he loves her. 

Tessa gasps as she is pulled directly onto him and naturally moves taking him in completely. He moves, slowly at first, and then, passion dictating the rhythm, he moves faster as she meets him thrust for thrust. She slides off of the bed onto his lap and continues to move leaning back taking in every bit of him and getting lost in the feeling of being one with the person she has loved almost her entire life. They both come simultaneously with an emotional sound that Tessa feels she couldn’t ever describe in words. She feels completely spent and exhilarated at the same time. 

Scott’s still panting as he kisses her neck and searches out her mouth to kiss her. He has never felt such an intense desire to consume another person as he does in this moment. His heart is pounding and he doesn’t trust himself to speak.

 

“I love you Scott.” Tessa whispers to him. Scott lets the tears fall freely from his eyes as he kisses her and swears to God he’ll never let her go. 

“I love you Tess. I feel we’ve wasted so much time and I can’t wait to make you my wife. He tries to catch his breath and helps Tess off his lap on to the bed as she lies back with her legs dangling down the side of the bed, spent. His legs are numb and all he can do his roll over on the floor with his back against the bed, still panting. Suddenly he feels her hand lightly on his shoulder and he reaches up and clasps it in his as they come down together, smiling.

 

The next day, while having a coffee on the dock, Scott receives a text from his cousin Cara a telling him that his ex has had her baby. A boy. She’s only texting him so that he’s prepared if anyone happens to tell him he won’t be caught off guard. 

Scott doesn’t really know how he expected to feel once the baby was born, but he really doesn’t feel anything. He knows she had her own agenda and, right now, he honestly wishes her and her baby the best. But he doesn’t feel hurt or that it affects him in any way, and that makes him happy. His own little family is the main focus for him now. He makes sure he tells Tess about the birth so that she is in the loop. He wants her to know it means nothing to him and so he doesn’t keep it to himself. He thinks there was too much of that in their past and this is a new start, and truly, she is always the first person he wants to share anything with anyway, so perfect scenario!

They quietly make plans to marry before the baby is born and they only share the information with those closest to them. They figure the cottage is the perfect place to have the ceremony since no one really knows anything about it. They also know there’re going to be some hurt feelings because they really can’t invite everyone under the present circumstances, but they hope everyone will understand once everything becomes public knowledge, but until then, they want to enjoy every bit of anonymity they can.

Of course immediate family will be invited, which includes Janey, and also Scott’s cousins, along with Patch, Marie France and Billie Rose. Mike and Maureen Babcock are also on the list along with a special invitation to a photographer friend of theirs, Greg, who has taken so many spectacular pictures of them over the years that Tessa knows he’s the perfect choice to photograph their day for them. She hopes he will come and capture this special time for them, as well as be their guest, and when she contacts him he’s thrilled and she wells up listening to him tell her how honoured he is to be included. She loves the personal touch he always brings to his photography, and she knows she can count on his discretion completely.

July 12th, a Friday, arrives and they are so excited that they can barely contain themselves. Tessa’s friend Kell comes and does her hair and she has Jordan standing up for her along with her two best friends. She will be apologizing for weeks she knows, but it can’t be helped.

The day is beautiful and the outdoor ceremony is all they could ever ask for. There is a small reception, just an opportunity to thank a few people and have a couple short speeches, some music, dancing and laughter. And there was lots and lots of laughter. Scott gets a little tipsy and emotional and no one is surprised, least of all Tess. She gets to share a dance with Charlie and then Danny, who becomes pretty emotional as well, when he tells her how happy he is that she and Scott are finally together. 

Scott watches from a distance as his big brother breaks down while he’s dancing with Tessa and she comforts him and kisses his cheek. Scott runs over and pulls T and Danny into a hug and tells him he was right all along and gives him a loud kiss on the cheek. And that lightens the mood considerably. 

Scott and Tessa share a slow dance to ‘Dream Come True’, an oldie which seems pretty appropriate, and everyone circles around them as they try not to get too emotional realizing that all of their dreams are really coming true. They whisper to each other and share little kisses as they end their dance and the night comes to a close. It feels funny now to say goodnight to each other and go to separate rooms, but Scott whispers in Tessa’s ear and she breaks into a smile and her face betrays her as she blushes for everyone to see. 

 

Most of the guests do stay over; the property is littered with tents and people with trailers along with those that are staying in the bunkies. Parents are in the house, along with Janey sleeping on the couch (her choice) and Scott and Tessa couldn’t be happier. They actually spend the night bunking with their friends, and they don’t mind at all. They’re having such a wonderful time with everyone and they know they have the rest of their lives together…and that’s enough for them. 

 

Breakfast is a wild, casual affair filled with music, Scott barbequing, Kate and Alma are manning the oven filled with bacon and eggs cooking on the stove. Sally and Janey are at command central making toast and the grandpa’s are making sure everyone has coffee or juice. 

All the guests manage to get enough to eat, and amidst the laughter and good wishes, by a little after noon, all the guests start packing up their cars and heading for home. Tessa and Scott are actually a little sorry to see them go…but not too sorry.

 

Scott goes searching for Tessa after the last guest has left and he has locked the gate. He finds her standing in front of the bedroom dresser mirror and as she fixes her hair up in a messy bun. Scott steps up behind her and pulls her back against him. She smiles at his reflection in the mirror as she leans back against his chest. He dips down and kisses her neck as he reaches across her body and takes her right breast in his hand effectively snugging her into a hug. 

She smiles at him as they lock eyes and, after a moment, he slides his right hand under the waistband of her tights and watches her reaction as he moves gently past her belly and reaches his destination. He feels the heat between her legs and urges her feet apart with his foot as she widens her stance. “Tess” he whispers hoarsely and she looks in the mirror as he slips his fingers inside of her, watching her reaction, and it’s a total turn on. He starts slowly and he feels her moving, guiding him as to what makes her feel good, and he’s a quick learner. She reaches back and grabs his hips and pulls him in tight. 

She watches his reaction and it adds to the excitement. She manages to reach back and lower his jogging pants freeing him and she hears him moan as he leans back enough to help her gain access and she takes him in her hand. It’s difficult to keep their eyes open as they pleasure each other, but the excitement factor of watching each other’s reaction is almost addictive. Scott moves his hands to her hips and slides her tights down to her knees. Tessa looks at him and she leans forward and braces herself on the dresser. 

Scott kneels and runs his hands down Tessa’s legs and pushes her tights to her ankles as she steps out of them and then feels the heat of his breath between her legs as he slips his tongue into her and she shivers at the sensitivity this angle provides and she leans deeper and moans loudly as she whispers to him not to stop. And he doesn’t. 

She shudders as she climaxes and Scott knows he can’t wait any longer. He stands and positions himself and he whispers her name and they lock eyes as he enters her slowly and then starts thrusting, his hands gripping her hips as they watch each other in the mirror. Her eyes are mesmerizing and he watches as she leans deeper to increase his penetration and she moves with him, her whole body trembling. The sound of their bodies thrusting against each other, and the involuntary sounds they make with the exertion only add to the sensual experience. 

They both climax and Scott pulls Tessa hard against him, unwilling to break the bond too quickly and Tessa reaches back and pulls him in tight showing him she feels exactly the same way.

When they do separate, Scott helps Tess out of her top, taking full advantage of the opportunity to kiss her breasts. He then kicks off his pants as she lies down on the bed while he heads off to run them a bath. 

Tessa stretches out and basks in the afterglow of feeling so very well satisfied, and the most content she has felt in a very, very, long time


	33. Starting a New Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly a few cracks begin to show up in the bubble Tessa and Scott have created for themselves at the cottage while they wait for the baby to be born.

So far Scott and Tessa have been able to settle, happily, into life together at the cottage. They know that it’s not the real world, but they’re hoping that until the baby is born, they’ll be able to take this time for themselves as they prepare themselves for their new life. These few days are passing way too quickly and Scott can’t believe that the baby is due in under a week. 

Unfortunately he has some loose ends to tie up in the city so he has to make the trip back to London to wrap things up. He tells Tess he won’t stay any longer than he has to, and that she has call him right away if she happens to go into labour. She promises, but she’s not very worried because she believes she’s going to go over her due date like most first time mother’s. Scott doesn’t want to take any chances though and he makes her repeat her promise, which she does. She reminds him the clinic is close so he doesn’t have to worry. But he still does. 

Scott starts out first thing in the morning after they have their coffee on the dock. Well, he has a coffee, Tess has a decaffeinated tea and she tells him one of the first things she’s looking forward to is treating herself to is a rich, fancy coffee. He files that information away.

Scott drives directly to his parent’s house and catches up with them for a few minutes. He lets them know how Tess is doing and says he’s only here to finalize some things for the Skate Shop tomorrow and then he’s heading right back. He wants to make sure that he’s there when Tess goes into labour. 

He gets to the shop and is happy to see Cara there helping her Dad. She gives him a hug and asks him how married life is treating him. He smiles. They’ve been on their own since the wedding so he hasn’t heard anyone refer to him as married…except for T. She’s taken to calling out, “Is my husband here? If so, tell him his wife is looking for him.” He loves hearing her refer to them lovingly in those terms.

He tells Cara he can’t remember when he was this happy, and considering what he has gone through the last year or so, terrific and terrible, that’s saying something. They catch up for a few minutes and then Cara gets serious. She tells Scott that this morning she saw something online specifically targeted at Scott. An anonymous poster claimed that he had abandoned his ex and their baby because he had gotten Tessa pregnant and he left them to be with her. Scott is pissed. Cara tries to calm him down and get him to think straight because if he overreacts he’s just going to cause more speculation. 

“You know it’s not true Scott. You don’t have to convince anyone. But if you lash out you’re going to look like a bully no matter what. My suggestion is that you take the position, if you are asked, that you would never abandon your child. And leave it at that. Don’t get into the mud with them. She has a little baby now and is on her own, so unless you plan on exposing her for what she did you’re just going to make her look like more of a victim.” Scott considers what Cara is telling him and he sees the wisdom in what she is saying.

He gives her a hug and promises to think before he speaks, and then leaves to give Tess a call to give her a heads up so she’s not caught off guard. When he reaches her he hears the emotion in her voice and knows he wasn’t quick enough. “Babe please don’t let this upset you, they have no idea about our life. Someone is just lashing out and I have a pretty good idea who. I just don’t know how they found out about the baby.”  
He goes on to tell T how Cara counselled him to answer if someone asked him about it and Tessa agrees completely and feels a bit better. 

“Let’s just stay off social media until the baby is born and we’ll move on from there. This is going to be one of the happiest days of our lives, and I refuse to let anyone ruin it for us, or our child.”

There was nothing Scott could have said that could make her feel better than this. The fact that he’s honestly looking forward to the birth of the baby and he totally believes this is their child. Which it is. Once they hang up Tessa shuts down her phone and slides it into a drawer in the kitchen island. She thinks she’s just going to make this a Tessa day. She has her suitcase all packed and at the front door, just to be on the safe side. The baby’s room is all ready and sometimes she and Scott just go in and sit in the window seat and talk about how their life is going to change so much once they are a family of three. They can hardly wait. 

She grabs her book and makes her way down to the dock and sets herself up in an Adirondack chair and puts her feet up as she settles in for a relaxing day.

Meanwhile social media is going crazy with all these different theories and sightings of Scott and Tessa. Scott knows he should take his own advice and not read them, but it’s like watching a train wreck…it’s hard to look away. 

Suddenly, it seems his ex is vindicated after all of the abuse she took when they first started dating. She must be in her glory he thinks. It seems pretty unlikely that she’s not at the root of all of these rumours in some way or another but he just doesn’t know how she found out. 

 

So far it doesn’t seem like anyone knows they’re married, but he’s sure someone is either going to find out, or speculate, that much seems inevitable. The biggest theory is that Tessa turned him away last year and that’s why he started dating his ex partner. Then when Tessa lost her fiancé she turned to Scott for comfort and they had an affair and he left his ex and their baby on their own to go and be with a pregnant Tessa. 

This is a perfect case of the truth being stranger than fiction, and he’d rather not have any of it spread all over the Internet. He just shakes his head as he shuts down his phone and decides to get busy and take care of everything here so he can get back to be with Tess as soon as possible. 

 

He goes to Tessa’s house in London and picks up a few items she wants to have at the cottage and also checks that everything is fine. He grabs the mail off of the table, which her cleaner has been good enough to bring in for her. It’s quite a pile, but he doesn’t go through it to separate out the advertising, he just wants to get moving so he takes it all, puts it in a bag and throws it in the trunk of his car. He heads back to his house and takes care of a bit of maintenance and settles in for the night in the hope of getting an early start to his day so he can get back to the cottage tomorrow afternoon. 

 

Tessa lies in their bed alone and can’t believe how much she misses having Scott there with her. She feels the baby kicking and smiles. ‘It won’t be long now little one” she whispers. She suddenly feels a little bit of a cramp and shifts in bed thinking it’s the way the baby has moved and it seems to relieve the discomfort. Labour doesn’t even enter her mind as she relaxes and quickly falls asleep.

In the morning she finds herself not feeling very well, and despite having a reasonably good sleep, she feels sluggish and achy. She gets a call from Scott and tells him she’s doing well, but he doesn’t think she sounds very well. It might be the social media rhetoric that has her down, so Scott decides to hurry back and accompany her to her doctor appointment at the clinic. He tells her he’ll be there in lots of time to take her, and she’s touched.

When he arrives at the cottage she’s ready and he helps her into the car. After a short drive he drops her at the clinic door and goes to park the car. It’s a private clinic and Tess has been coming here throughout her entire pregnancy and has gotten comfortable with the doctors and staff. They bring her into an examination room and get her prepped for an ultrasound to see how the baby is progressing. She makes small talk with the nurse and they share a laugh about how cold the gel is and the technician asks if Tessa wants to find out the gender of the baby. “This is the last chance before the birth,” she says with a smile. “Maybe, Tessa replies, I’ll have to check with my partner. He’ll be up here in a minute and we’ll decide.” 

A loud bang shocks everyone in the room as a tray slips from a nurses hands and they all laugh at their reactions. “Anymore shocks like that and I might know the baby’s gender before he even gets up here.” Tessa laughs and everyone joins in. 

There’s a tap on the door and Scott is ushered into the room and he sees Tess laying there, all smiles, ready for the ultrasound and he gets emotional. She looks so beautiful that he feels teary. He goes to her side and kisses her softly and gets introduced to the doctor who he likes immediately. Tess calls the nurse over and she comes and shakes hands with Scott as Tessa tells him that Sarah is a new member of the team and has been super helpful. Scott nods and says to the room that he appreciates how great everyone has been to Tessa. As they prepare to start Tess asks him if he wants to find out the sex of the baby, or if he wants to be surprised.

“Let’s be surprised babe,” he says, and she is thrilled. Tess thinks that it will be wonderful for them, finding out in the moment, and Scott being able to announce it to the family. It will be one more way to be able to share the experience together. The appointment goes well and Scott leaves the room as Tessa gets dressed and goes to the waiting room. She’s out in a flash and walks into a big hug from Scott as they head down in the elevator to go home and wait for the baby, which according to the doctor, could be anytime now because the baby has definitely dropped.

As they get to the lobby Scott checks his pockets and tells Tess he thinks he left his phone in the examination room. He gets her situated in a chair as he runs back up to get it. 

After what seems like forever, Scott comes bounding out of the elevator. “Did you find your phone,” she asks. And he tells her that he did and he’s sorry it took so long. He pulls her into a hug and walks her to the door as he runs into the lot to get the car. Tessa isn’t sure what’s up, but she senses that something is wrong and she’s wondering what it could be. She knows Scott so well that his body language always gives him away. Well, she thinks, I’ll give him a little leeway before asking…. but I will ask. We’re not going into this with any more secrets she thinks. 

She can’t help but smile when he pulls the car up and bounds around it to help her into the passenger seat. “I could get used to this kind of treatment Moir,” she says teasingly. “Well, Moir, he says with a wink, I hope you do!” And he plants a kiss on her cheek and tells her to buckle up as he runs back to the driver’s side just as an “impatient patient” beeps the horn at him.

They arrive back at the cottage and Scott gets Tessa settled outside in the shade with her book and an ice tea and runs back into the cottage and to grab himself a drink. After a bit he comes out to sit on the dock. He moves his chair next to Tess and settles in and to soak up the little bit of sun peaking through the clouds. By now it’s 3:30 and Scott sits quietly with his eyes closed, holding hands with T as he listens to her put her book down to turn the page rather than let go of his hand and disturb him. It’s enough to make him feel like his heart could burst. 

He actually dozes off, and its 4:30 when he wakes up. He tells Tess he’s running out to pick up a few groceries and asks if she wants anything while he’s out. She says no and he helps her into the house because the weather is actually beginning to cloud over more and he doesn’t want her to be caught out in the rain. 

She curls up on the couch and sees the troubled look on his face. “Are you okay?” She asks, and when he tells her yes she still can’t shake the feeling that something is going on. “Okay she says a little sceptically, hurry back.” He says he will and he leans down to kiss her and the kiss deepens as he feels himself getting emotional. 

“Babe, she says, what is it?”

“We’ll talk when I get back, he promises, don’t worry, I won’t be long.”

Now she feels a little scared about what he’s going to say. She has a feeling it has something to do with the social media uproar, but he seemed fine on the way to her appointment. It’s like this came out of nowhere since the doctor appointment. Could he be getting cold feet because it’s all getting way too real now?

She gets a little teary as she waits for him to return.

 

Earlier at the clinic

Scott leaves Tess in the lobby and goes back upstairs on the pretext of looking for his phone. He steps out of the elevator into the office reception and sees Sarah, the nurse from Tessa’s appointment, texting on her phone in a corner and he walks over to her. It’s obvious that she’s shook up because when he taps her on the shoulder she drops her phone. He picks it up and sees enough to know that his suspicion is correct. Sarah is the one texting his ex the information. 

So far she had typed that Scott was there at the appointment today and saw her and she can’t take any more chances or she’s going to get caught. The text hadn’t been sent yet and Scott takes a picture of the screen with his phone. Sarah tries to grab her phone from him as he holds it out of her reach and scrolls down through the conversations she’s had with his ex and takes screen shots of them all. 

Scott recognized Sarah the minute she turned around in the room. He met her through his ex down in Florida but he had no idea she was back living in Canada until today. Sarah wasn’t even a close friend so he has no idea why she’s risking her job by passing on private patient information. Suddenly the doctor comes out of his office and calls out to Sarah that they need her in the examination room and he nods goodbye to Scott with a smile.

Scott tells her if she wants to get her phone back she better make arrangements to meet him after her shift is done. She starts to protest and Scott says “Fine, we can deal with this right now,” and he starts toward the reception desk. “Okay, okay,” she says, almost in tears. I’m done at 5pm. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” He agrees and pockets the phone and strides toward the doors. He checks the phone on his way down the elevator and goes into settings to disable the password option so he doesn’t get locked out and when the door opens a very concerned Tessa is waiting for him.

At the cottage when Scott runs back into the house after getting Tess settled he takes a few minutes to scroll through the messages between his ex and Sarah. His ex is definitely the one behind the social media meltdown and now is pressuring Sarah for more information. Scott puts the phone on mute, just in case, puts it in his pocket and goes back outside to Tess.

Now, on his way to meet Sarah, he wonders what he’s going to do about this. He’s going to be honest with Tess about what happened, but first he wants to find out why she did this. After that, he’ll tell Tess and give her all the facts, even though he knows how much it will hurt her. 

 

He knew this idyllic time in their life couldn’t last forever, but it seems now to be falling apart at breakneck speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took out my emotional comments. Haven't changed my feelings. Not hating, just can't rationalize loving Scott with selfish Scott.


	34. Time to face the music..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Scott has found out for sure that it's his ex posting on social media, he sets out to find out why someone would want to help her...and finally, what they should do about it.

Scott pulls into the parking lot with about 5 minutes to spare. He really doesn’t know what she’s going to say, but he also knows it’s not just his decision about how to move forward, it’s also Tessa’s. Actually, more Tessa’s than his. He hates the fact that he has to tell her that it’s his ex manipulating their life once again. He sees Sarah stepping out of the clinic and scanning the parking lot looking for him. He gets out of his car and she comes walking toward him and he sits back in the drivers seat. She appreciates the move because the last thing she wants is to be seen in the parking lot talking to Scott Moir.

She gets into the passenger seat and Scott moves the car to a space further away from the door before speaking to her.  
“Can you tell me why it was worth maybe losing your job to give out private information about Tessa? He begins as he hands her back her cell phone. As far as I can tell you were never even good friends with my ex. Why would you feel you had to do this?” 

Sarah starts to quietly cry and Scott feels some compassion for her, but her job requires her to be privy to information of a sensitive nature and patients trust her to keep it confidential. People are at their most vulnerable when they go to the doctor and they should be able to trust that their information will not be leaked to outside sources, no matter who they are.

She explains that no, she wasn’t great friends with her, but when her contract in Florida ran out and she had to return to Canada to work they kept in touch, occasionally, because she was trying to find another job in Florida. 

When Sarah saw Tessa at the clinic she was surprised that she was pregnant, but really didn’t have any reason to think it wasn’t common knowledge. Recently though, when Sarah was in Florida for a job interview at the hospital, she got together his girlfriend for a coffee and the topic of her work in Canada came up and Sarah mentioned about seeing Tessa. 

Sarah turned to Scott with tears in her eyes, “I honestly didn’t even realize you two weren’t together anymore and I truly expected that she still saw Tessa. She told me that she hadn’t seen Tessa in a bit and asked how she was doing. I told her she was looking great. She knows our clinic caters mainly to maternity patients, so I guess she put two and two together and thought that Tessa might be pregnant. She laughed and said that Tessa must be almost as far along in her pregnancy as she was, and when I answered "almost," I could see from her reaction that she really hadn’t known at all.” 

Sarah explained how his girlfriend then got super friendly and told Sarah to keep in touch, to forward her resume to her and she would try her best to get Sarah a position at the hospital. 

Sarah didn’t contact her again. Before she left Florida she asked around and found out that she and Scott had broken up and that nobody really knows the reason why. Sarah returned to Canada and realized, when she saw the tweet, that she had allowed herself become a pawn in a scheme to discredit Scott and embarrass Tessa. By this time she didn’t know what to do. She certainly didn’t give her any more information, but his ex kept texting her and then finally threatened to make an anonymous report on Sarah for supplying private information on a patient. 

Sarah had been living in fear of being exposed, and maybe losing her job, not to mention her professional reputation. 

Scott really does believe she didn’t set out to give out the information, but it doesn’t change how much this will hurt Tessa when she finds out. He looks at Sarah and tells her that he’s going to let Tessa decide whether or not to report her to the doctors at the clinic. 

He says what he can promise her is that he won't try to sway Tess either way. “I'm disappointed in the way you handled this, but I can understand how you got dragged in. If you want, I’ll let you explain to Tessa how you let her information get out, but that’s the best I can do. If she decides to report you I’m not going to try and talk her out of it. You understand that, right? I’ll take your number, if you want, and see if she will call you. I’m not sure if she will, but I’ll at least make sure she knows you’d like to talk her.”

Sarah lifts her head and nods as she gives him her cell number. She can’t believe she got herself in such a messy situation. It’s her fault she’s being blackmailed and that Scott and Tessa are being slandered on social media. She doesn’t see any way out, but if Tessa does call, at least she could apologize to her. She is really so very sorry she let this happen. She apologizes to Scott and thanks him for hearing her out as she leaves the car and slowly walks back to her own vehicle.

Scott starts the drive back to the cottage feeling bad that he has to give Tessa this news. He forgets about stopping for any groceries because he really can’t wait to get back to Tess and get this off his chest. When Tessa sees Scott getting out of the car without any groceries it confirms her suspicion that there is something definitely going on. He walks toward her with a sad look on his face and she prepares herself for the worst.

 

Scott tells Tessa that he found out who was leaked the information about her and that he has that person’s phone number if she would like to speak to them. Tessa asks why he’s being so cryptic and he tells her that he made a promise to let this person be the one to tell her what they’ve done, that is if she wants to hear their explanation. Tessa takes the number and walks back in the cottage and goes immediately up to their bedroom. She sits on the side of the bed and wonders if she really wants to talk to this person or not. And also, she can't help but wonder who it could be?

She realizes that Scott wouldn’t have taken the person’s number if he didn’t feel they needed a chance to tell her themselves, so she takes a leap of faith and dials the phone.

A while later, Scott watches as Tessa comes out of the cottage and makes her way toward him. He can tell she’s been crying and he just wants to pull her into his arms and tell her everything will be all right. 

“Thank you for waiting to make the decision about what to do about this situation until we could talk Scott. It really means a lot to me. I did accept her apology. She was speaking to someone she knows and sincerely believed that she would know about my pregnancy. I wish it hadn’t have happened, but I can certainly understand how it did. Although Sarah feels like she traded the information for a chance at a job, the information slipped out before the mention of a job, so I think she’s being too hard on herself. I do believe her when she says that she didn’t intend to go behind my back. Did you?”

“I did, Scott replied, but it really wasn’t my call to say how this should be handled. Are you okay with the fact that she may be on the delivery team?”

“I am, Tessa said, in fact, I believe that she will go out of her way to protect us and our privacy, and I actually hope she will be there.” 

"Well, that’s good enough for me," Scott says. He believed Sarah too and he’s glad that Tess is willing to give her a second chance.

The next thing Scott does is send a text to his ex telling her he knows that she has been posting lies and if she continues, he'll make everything public. Her choice. Scott is relatively sure, at this stage, that she doesn’t know he and Tessa are together, let alone married. He’s sure that will set off some kind of firestorm for sure when that gets out. He just hopes it will wait until after the baby’s born so Tessa doesn’t have to deal with any more stress than necessary.

Meanwhile, in Florida, his ex hears the text come in and she hopes it’s from Sarah, but no, it’s from Scott. She seethes as she reads it and his “holier than thou” attitude. Oh well, she thinks, at least she got the narrative out there and he can deal with the fall out. She knows that they don’t want the complete story out there anymore than she does, so she doesn’t worry too much about him telling anyone. 

Of course she wasn’t going to report Sarah and expose herself to scrutiny, but Sarah didn’t know that. She looks down at her little boy and smiles. She’s at least enjoying the most support she has ever gotten on social media just by sitting back and letting everyone form their own opinions, with a little nudge from her on the sidelines. 

“Don’t you worry little Andrew Scott, we’ll manage, but we won’t forget.” The “Scott” was a last minute decision. She knew she couldn’t call her baby Scott no matter how much of a slap in the face it would have been to him, but she can live with it as a middle name. It’s just enough to keep her in the picture and for everyone to keep wondering just what the hell the truth really is and what really happened. Right now she’s the victim of what appears to be Scott’s cheating and continuing infatuation with Tessa, and you can believe she’s going to milk it for all it’s worth. Who knows? Maybe Tessa's baby is Scott’s. She doesn’t really think so, but hey…who knows? She still has her haters, but who doesn’t on SM? She’s going to find a way to make this turn into gold for her; it’s just a matter of time. 

Meanwhile, Scott pulls Tessa into his arms and they settle into a chair and just cuddle and enjoy each other’s company as the sun sets into the lake and then they make their way back inside. 

At around 1 am Scott’s jolted awake by a loud noise which turns out to be thunder followed quickly by lightening. He finds himself alone and jumps out of bed in a panic to look for Tess. When he can’t find her upstairs and races down calling her name. “I’m here,” she answers and he sees her silhouette framed against the window looking out at the lake. 

“Babe, you scared me to death, Scott whispers to her as her sits behind her on the window seat and wraps her into a hug. Did the storm wake you?”

She turns a bit and says that it wasn’t the storm. “I think I’m in labour,” she says so quietly that at first Scott thinks he misunderstood. He laughs and says he thought she said she was in labour. She smiles back at him and tells him he’s not mistaken, she’s pretty sure she’s in labour. 

“Then what are we doing here?” Scott says and jumps up asking her what he can do to get ready to go. She tells him not to worry, everything is ready and her suitcase is at the door. It’s then he notices that she’s already dressed and that he’s standing there in his underwear. She tells him to go get dressed and that she’s already called the clinic and they don’t believe she has to rush in at this point. Tessa tells Scott that she was hoping the storm would blow over before they have to leave.

Scott’s amazed at how composed she is. He kneels down in front of her and looks into her eyes and then he sees it. That little chink in her armour. He could always read her eyes no matter what. She’s nervous and she’s putting on a front for him.

“You’re gonna be amazing, he whispers to her. Are you ready to add one more to our Virtue/Moir team?” And she smiles as a tear spills out onto her cheek. 

“I am, and I’m so glad I don’t have to go through this alone, she says as she pulls him in for a hug. I think you’d better go get dressed, because while I think we can do this, I don’t believe we have the skills for a home delivery!” 

She laughs as Scott gives her a kiss and then bolts up the stairs to get dressed.


	35. Happy Birth Day...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the day has arrived and Tessa and Scott are about to become parents, and it's all they expected, and more!

Scott pulls into the clinic parking lot, stops at the front door and jumps out of the car to take Tessa inside. He grabs her bag out of the trunk and looks up to see Sarah waiting for them with a wheelchair. She looks a little unsure as to what their reaction will be when they see her but Scott puts her at ease right away. “Thank goodness you’re here…he says with a smile…we have no idea what we’re doing.” Sarah laughs and tells them she’s sure they’ve got this. Tessa climbs carefully out of the car with Scott’s help and they get her settled into the chair. Scott tells Tess he’ll park the car while they make their way up. Tessa wants to wait for him but he tells her to go ahead and he’ll be right behind her. She gives him a tentative smile and he leans down and whispers in her ear not to worry and he’ll be right up. He lifts her chin and gently kisses her lips, and she smiles. She still hasn’t gotten used to him kissing her on the lips, as crazy as that sounds, and she smiles as she watches him hop back in the car and realizes that she hopes she never does. 

Sarah squeezes her shoulder and turns the chair around and heads into the building. Tessa leans back as she breathes through another contraction and as they enter the elevator she looks up at Sarah and smiles. “I’m glad you’re here with us Sarah,” she says and then grimaces through another contraction, as they get closer together. Sarah looks at Tess, through unshed tears, and smiles, so thankful she’s been given a second chance.

 

By the time Scott parks and makes his way up to the delivery room Tessa is settled in and preparations are well in hand. Scott gets his scrubs on and makes his way to her side grabbing her hand. He asks if she wants him to call her Mom and she says not just yet. She really wants them to have this experience on their own before they let the rest of the world in. Scott’s finding it incredibly hard to watch her in so much pain and he can’t believe she’s hardly making a sound. 

“You can yell T, he says to her, you don’t have to hold it all in babe.” 

“I can’t, she whispers as tears spill down her cheeks, I just can’t.” And Scott looks down at her and remembers all the pain she endured, all those years ago, when she suffered silently through compartment syndrome. She effectively hid it from everyone until she had to tell because it became impossible for her to even walk. The enormity of that situation was really coming home to him now, just exactly how much she actually endured so that they could skate, let alone win three Olympic gold medals. How could he have taken her sacrifice so much for granted? 

The tears start to fall down his cheeks and he leans down and kisses her and whispers in her ear how much he loves her. She looks up at him and smiles….”I love you too she whispers, now are you ready to become a Dad? Because I think this is it.” 

And with the Doctor encouraging her to make one last push their baby is born. Scott is crying openly telling Tessa “It’s a girl, it’s a girl, T! We have a daughter! Oh Tess, you were fabulous” he cries out as he kisses her and then stands and watches, mesmerized, as they place their little daughter on Tessa’s chest and she kisses her tiny little head and reaches out for Scott’s hand.

Sarah is crying and, after a minute or two, she takes the baby over to be weighed and cleaned up, and the doctor is congratulating them and laughing as Scott and Tessa are overwhelmed with the whole experience. “Shouldn’t she be crying?” Tessa asks worriedly as she watches her daughter being weighed while she’s being cleaned up. 

“I imagine she takes after her Mother in that respect, the doctor replies with a laugh, I don’t think I’ve ever delivered a baby without an anaesthetic and had a patient be so quiet…so I’m not really surprised that your daughter is taking this all in her stride.”

Sarah comes over with the baby all swaddled and cosy and places her back in Tessa’s arms and Scott settles in on the bed beside her with his arm around her and his eyes locked on their daughter. “Do you have a name picked out,” Sarah asks, and then feels like maybe she’s overstepped and apologizes for asking. “Don’t be silly, Tessa replies, that’s a perfectly natural question. We didn’t know we were having a girl so we really haven’t had a serious discussion about it, but now it’s priority number 1” she laughs. 

She looks at Scott who is totally enraptured by this new little being and asks him if he has any ideas. He tells her that she should pick the name and she says there’s no way he’s getting out of the first obligation for their daughter, and he smiles and leans down and kisses her. “Okay, he says lets get settled and discuss.”

They wheel Tessa into her private room and Sarah follows along behind pushing the baby’s bassinet. Once they get in the room she asks if she can get them some coffee or tea and cookies and they are both appreciative, and hungry! Sarah returns with their treats and leaves them with her congratulations and a smile. Scott hops up off the bed and pulls her in for an unexpected hug. “Thanks so much for all your help, he says, we got off to a rocky start but I believe, after tonight, we can move forward, don’t you.” Sarah replies through her tears that she does too, and whispers her thanks as she leaves the room. Tessa smiles at Scott and feels like she just might explode with happiness.

Scott asks if they should start calling all the grandparents and letting them know the good news. It’s already 5 am and he’s sure they’ll want to get started on the road to get here for breakfast. Tessa laughs and tells Scott to do the honours. “Are you sure? He says a little surprised, don’t you want to be the one to let everyone know?” Tessa smiles at him and says she thinks it’s the Dad’s job to call while Mom rests, and she winks at him. Really she just wants Scott to be 100% included in everything to do with their baby and there’s no better place to start than him spreading the good news. 

Scott decides to call Kate first and Tessa smiles in agreement. He pulls out his phone and dials her number. He knows she’ll be asleep, but he’s sure she’s not going to be upset about being woken up, and he’s correct. He tells Kate she has a healthy granddaughter and that Tessa is doing fabulous and she can’t wait to introduce their daughter to her. Kate starts to cry and tells Scott she’s going to get dressed and head out immediately. She sends her love to Tessa and tells Scott congratulations and when he thanks her Tessa sees him just beaming and she couldn’t be happier.

Next are the Jacksons. Scott dials the number and Jim answers the phone and when he hears Scott’s voice he asks him to wait and wakes Sally and puts Scott on speakerphone. Okay Scott, we’re both listening…And Scott smiles and makes his announcement. Congratulations Grandpa Jim and Grandma Sally you have a beautiful healthy granddaughter as of 4:15 this morning. He hears them start to cry as they both ask how much she weighs, how Tessa is, what she looks like…”Whoa, whoa, Scott says, hold on…you two have to get up and get over here to meet her right away. Now that you’re Grandparents there are certain responsibilities involved. Jim and Sally both start laughing. “Is it okay if we come right away?” They ask. 

“We’ll be insulted if you don’t,” Scott replied. Sally starts to cry and whispers her congratulations to Scott and thanks him for calling and including them. “We’re family, Scott replies quietly as he feels the tears brimming in his eyes. “Yes we are son,” Jim replies for them, we’re on our way!”

Tessa see’s Scott getting emotional and she’s sure this day is going to be a real roller coaster for them all. Finally he calls his Mom and Dad and the phone call lasts about two minutes because once his Mom got the particulars she woke up his Dad and told him to start getting dressed so they could get on the road. Scott laughs as he hangs up from his parents and tells Tess he imagines His parents might already be on their way!

“Okay, Tessa says, now for the real work. What are we going to name our daughter? I would like to have her named before all her grandparents get here, so what do you think?”

Scott’s first thought is Tessa, but then he decides no. There’s only one Tess and he wants their daughter to have her own identity. “What about Ryan? Scott says it can also be a girl’s name.” Tessa looks at him and her heart swells. She actually had thought of that, but as a first name she believes she would have a difficult time with it. Maybe as a second name she suggests, and Scott nods in agreement. Scott hesitates to ask, but pushes forward. “What’s her last name going to be T? I understand that I’m not her birth father and…

“Moir, Tess interrupts him. Her last name is Moir, just like ours.” Scott really is an emotional mess now. He had hoped beyond hope that her name would be Moir, but he knew he didn’t have any right to expect that it would be.  
“Thank you so much,” Tess, he says and he hugs them both.

Tessa kisses him and smiles. “What do you think of the name Audrey?” She asks. Scott smiles as he rolls the name around and repeats Audrey Moir, Audie Moir, Drey Moir, Audball Moir. Tessa laughs out loud, “Drey? Audball?” Scott smiles and says that you have to check out all the possible nicknames before you commit, but he likes it. He especially likes Audie he says with a smile. “Audrey Ryan Jackson Moir. Tessa says. Too much?” 

“Just enough.” Scott says, and he means it. He also is a little surprised that Tessa said her last name would be the same as theirs. Does Tess plan to go by Virtue Moir? He would love that. He sees Tess is tired and he convinces her to let him hold Audrey while she catches some sleep. He promises to wake her up the minute company arrives and so she agrees, and that’s exactly how Kate finds them when she enters the room. 

Tess is sound asleep and Scott is sitting in a chair by the window singing some country song to her granddaughter while he smiles down at her. “Kate, Scott smiles at her, please, wake up Tessa. I promised I would wake her before anyone is introduced to our daughter.” Kate smiles at his ease at saying “our daughter” and she sees how much he loves her already.

Kate walks over to the bed and gently shakes her baby girl awake and is immediately engulfed in a hug and tears. “Oh Mom, I’m so glad you’re here…have you seen her?” Kate replies that no, she hasn’t because Scott insisted she wake her up first and Tessa smiles at him. 

Scott stands and brings Audrey over to Tessa and she introduces her to her Grandmother. Kate is overwhelmed. They all gush over her and Tessa puts her in Kate’s arms and Kate walks over and settles into the chair with her granddaughter. Tessa whispers to Scott that she’d like to go to the washroom and tidy up before everyone else gets there. As per her instructions, Scott goes to the closet and gets Tessa’s makeup bag and a fresh nightgown etc. for her. 

Kate looks over at them and smiles at how domestic the two of them look after such a short time. Scott comes back over to the bed and helps Tess up and puts his arm around her as they make their way to the washroom and he opens the door for her. “Come in with me she whispers to him as he glances back to Kate before following her through the door.

The minute the door closes Tessa tiptoes up and gives him a long, lingering kiss on the lips. They hold each other tight for a moment and then look into each other’s eyes. It’s not an amorous moment; it’s a loving moment. From now on it will be the three of them facing everything together and they both can’t wait. Scott tries to give Tess a bit of privacy as she goes to the bathroom and then helps her up and holds her as she washes up and brushes her teeth. He helps her out of her hospital gown and gives her a hand getting on her nursing bra and one of her own nightgowns. The hospital provides pads in the washroom and Scott goes back out into the room to get her underwear from her suitcase after he settles her on the toilet seat. 

He tells Kate they’ll be right out and she just smiles. He’s back to Tessa in a moment and helps her finish up. He actually brushes her hair as she stays seated and she loves every minute of it. She stands and applies a little bit of makeup and lip balm while Scott stands behind her with his arms around her. They lock eyes in the mirror and it reminds them of a scenario just a few short days ago and they both blush. 

“We better get back out there and rescue my Mom” she says and they open the door and Scott walks her back to the bed and easily picks her up and lays her gently on the bed as she laughs. He fluffs up her pillows and makes her comfortable and then Kate says she thinks her granddaughter needs a change and maybe a feeding. 

Scott quickly cleans up the bathroom and puts Tessa things back in her closet and prepares to help change Audrey. Kate smiles and tells him she can manage this change, but the feeding is all on Tess. Tessa smiles a little self-consciously and prepares to try to nurse Audrey for the first time. Scott says he’ll go to the waiting room to watch for the other grandparents and give her some privacy. Kate tells him that she’ll go wait in the lobby for them and that Tess should have him there for support. 

Mary from the nursery comes in to help Tessa get started and shows her, and Scott, how to get Audrey interested in nursing and latching on to Tessa’s breast. They share a smile at the term latch and immediately look like they’re 7 and 9 again…and they don’t care. Latch has certainly played a big part in their lives, and now it will again it seems.

They have a proud moment when Audrey does indeed latch on and although it’s a little uncomfortable, Tessa finds herself relaxing and actually feeling some pride that she is able to feed her little girl right away. Once Audrey has finished Scott tells Tessa he’s going out to see if any of the other grandparents have arrived. He walks out into the lobby and is shocked by the amount of family sitting patiently waiting. Balloons, flowers, gifts, it was like a party. One of the bonuses of being at a private clinic that Scott is growing to appreciate is unlimited guests. After hugs and congratulations all around, it’s decided that Jim and Sally be allowed to go in alone first, and then Alma and Joe. After that it’s a free for all.

Sally can’t stop crying as she meets her little granddaughter Audrey. And when she hears her full name she is overcome and Jim pulls her in for a hug and lets her cry it out. They are thrilled. Alma and Joe are next and the happy tears continue. Auntie Jordan makes an appearance and the rest of the family filters in as space allows. Scott looks over at Tess and sees that the day, and excitement is catching up to her. He suggests that maybe he joins the family at a local restaurant for breakfast…or brunch by now and they all agree. Tessa looks over at him with a grateful smile as everyone says their goodbyes and leave the room.

Once they’re alone, Scott asks if she minds him leaving and she encourages him to go. Mary comes in from the nursery and suggests that she take Audrey for a little while so Tess can get some rest and she reluctantly agrees. “Oh we’ll bring her back soon enough, Mary says with a smile, She’ll be wanting to eat again soon so take advantage of this little break.”

Scott kisses her goodbye and at the door he glances back and she already has her eyes closed and is drifting off to sleep. He smiles and reflects on the past few hours and can’t believe how fortunate he is. Life truly can change in a moment. He now has the opportunity to put all his mistakes and bad decisions behind him and move forward, and he can’t wait. With that thought in mind he turns to go celebrate with the rest of his family. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he’ll be back.


End file.
